The Art of Betrayal

Home : Stories by Catw00man : RCR 2008 AU : Path of Thorns - The Art of Betrayal

Summary: He can’t stop himself from dreaming.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: NC-17
SERIES/SETTING: Path of Thorns
CHARACTERS: Clint Bowyer/Dale Earnhardt Jr, Clint POV
COMPLETED: August 12, 2008
WORDS: 5,236
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic takes place during the qualifying rainout in California. This left our June with no way in the race since the RCR #8 is a new team with no points from 2007.
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#07 Jack Daniel’s Hauler - California Speedway - Fontana, CA - February 23, 2008

I’ll give Harvick this, he knows how to embarrass the hell out of someone when he sets his mind to it.  I just never expected I’d be on the end of one of his pranks gone wrong.  Oh he’s pranked me plenty in the past…but not like he did in Daytona.  That was taking it a little far even for him.  But it’s not like I didn’t deserve it after what I pulled.  I swear maybe he’s right and I have done lost my mind.  I dunno.  It’s not like I even have anything worth fighting for.  That became completely evident when June found me.

He didn’t take too kindly to Kev’s little “joke,” especially since Mike was walking back to the coach with him.  Apparently it’s one thing to be fucking a teammate but quite another when said teammate is trussed up in front of your coach for all the world to see.  I couldn’t even look at him when he cut my hands free, not that he was trying to look at me either.  He was pissed the instant he saw me and I know it wasn’t all because of Harvick and Burton.

One thing I’ve learned about Earnhardt is he doesn’t like to be embarrassed.  Oh, he’ll rag on you good, tease you to the point of breaking but don’t call him out, at least not too bad.  He’ll take a lot, but don’t make him look like a fool.  That just pisses him off and there’s no amount of talking that’s going to calm him down.  Don’t expect him to be too rational then either.  Not when that temper finally lets go.  It takes a helluva lot to push him that far but once you have no one in his path is safe.  Not even the one he’s currently fucking.

I should’ve fought harder, should’ve not let them do it.  I know that’s what he was thinking.  But how could I?  Sure if I’d put up more of a fight I probably could’ve over powered them enough to get away, or at least have made it much more difficult for them to get me tied up.  But that’s the thing…I didn’t feel like I should be fighting.  Not when I deserved it.  One look at the complete betrayal in Kevin’s eyes as he bound my wrists showed me this wasn’t a game anymore.  I’d betrayed my friend and he was repaying the favor.  How could I possible fight him then?

I don’t know how many times I’ve picked up the phone to call him.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve pulled up his number only to shut it off before hitting send.  He wouldn’t answer.  I already know that and I’m in no mood to listen to his snarky ass voice mail.  That’s how he deals when he gets pissed.  He holes up in Kernersville, runs a thousand laps on his go-cart and shuts out the world.  Honestly, he has a lot in common with June that way, though there’s no way in hell I’d tell him that.  Even if it sucks I do still value my life.

Stare out the back of the hauler as the rain continues to fall and I know there’s no way we’ll get qualifying in.  We were lucky to get in any practice at all and now qualifying is a wash out and June’s gonna be even more impossible than he already was.  I know he’s been stressed about the thought of having to qualify for these first five races but how could he possibly not make a race.  Surely even the Gods would be on his side, right?  But as the rain falls, in southern California no less, I guess maybe he’s not as divine as we all thought.  Who ever heard of this much rain in California?  Kevin must be somewhere laughing his ass off at this.  But Richard’ll make it right.  I know he will.  He has to.

Move a little further inside the hauler and I know I’m hiding but I’m honestly not sure of what.  I mean I know Junior’s gonna be on the war path from the rainout but I know that could still turn out good for me.  But it’s Harvick I still can’t face.  Not after what he wrote.  Not after how he looked at me and then cut me out.  Et tu Shifty?  Who the hell even knew Kev could write that phrase, much less knew what it meant.  DeLana must’ve had him watching old movies or something…but still.  The sentiment couldn’t be more plain.

Hear movement behind me and I assume it’s one of the guys coming in from the side door until I hear a voice behind me that catches me off guard.  “Clint?  I was looking for you…you got time?”

Turn around and even though I recognized the voice I still don’t believe it until I actually see his face.  Blink in surprise when I’m face to face with a Junior I’ve never seen before…has he ever asked if I had time?  No, it’s always commanding and seduction with him, not this head down, feet shuffling uncertainty I’m seeing now.  Stare at him, one hand picking at the leg of his firesuit and the other reaching up to crease the bill of his hat over and over again, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this…at least not with me.

“June?”  Take a step closer and he doesn’t raise his head.  But then as I take another step he slowly lifts his head and I see eyes filled with…fear?  Insecurity?  What happened to the commanding bastard that fucked my brains out all the way back to Charlotte last week?  I swear he’d been in nothing but a rage, all piss and vinegar, and now he looks like a lost little boy…and I want to take care of him.  “June, are you ok?”

“What am I gonna do Sunday when I can’t race?  What am I gonna do, Clint?  How am I gonna face the world when I can’t even make the race?  What am I--”  His voice breaks and that’s all I need to make me forget about my earlier reservations and close the distance between us.  Wrap my arms tight around him and pull him close, uncaring about his initial resistance.  As I thought, it doesn’t last long and the next thing I know he’s leaning against me, practically letting me support his weight. 

“Shhh, it’s ok.  RC’ll think of something.  He’ll think of something,” I murmur to him softly and rub his back as he collapses against me.  He has the world on his shoulders, I can’t believe it hasn’t crushed him before.  No wonder he’s been such an ass…and after Kev’s note it all has to be closing in on him.  Now if there’s anything I can do to make things better….

“I dunno, I dunno.  I just--”

“RC’ll figure something.  You know he will.”  Pull back to look at his face again and he looks so…crushed.  I know the change hasn’t been easy, even though he’s not said a word.  Changing teams, leaving everything behind, that has to take a toll on you, especially since everything’s been about when he’s gonna win and did he make the right decision.  Missing a race would only compound it all and intensify the microscope he’s under.  But this is Junior.  There’s no way he can’t race.  Someway, somehow Richard’s got to have a plan.  He’s just got to.  “You have anywhere to be?”

“Hiding from the fuckin’ media,” he mumbles and ducks his head again.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to be him.  It’s times like this you really do need your friends--

Who am I to be talking about friends?  Sigh softly and push back the feelings of self loathing that’ve been eating me up from the inside all week.  There’s nothing I can do to fix things with Kev right now.  Not when he’s still so pissed.  Maybe one day…but right now I have an Earnhardt to take care of.  Squeeze his shoulder and when he looks to meet my eyes tell him, “Let’s go hide out in my coach.  No one should look for you there since I’m still all but invisible on their radar….”

“You ain’t gonna be invisible much longer, Bowyer.  Enjoy it while you can.”  Smile in surprise at his words because…was that a compliment?  I think it was.  That’s the first real compliment he’s given me that didn’t involve, well, fucking.  I guess it is a day for firsts.

“Yeah, yeah, maybe so.  Why don’t we go enjoy it together?”  Tug on his arm as I head for the side door of the hauler he slipped in through earlier and he follows close behind me without a word.  I have to admit it’s really strange to see him this way and I wonder why he actually came to me.  Kev thinks I’m nothing but sex to him…and maybe that’s been true.  But maybe, just maybe, things could change?  Maybe I can be there for him and--

Don’t be getting ahead of yourself, Bowyer.  He’s needing a friend.  Just be one and then if more happens it happens.  Look over my shoulder at him as I open the door and see that he’s lost to his own thoughts and I have to reach out to stop him from running into me.  “Hang on, let me make sure we’re clear.”  He nods and after I look outside to make sure no one’s staked out my hauler I lead him outside and head quickly towards my coach through the light rain.

He sticks close to me and part of me wonders if it’s to be near me or to try and disappear from the watching eyes his red firesuit always attracts.  Even in the biggest crowds he’s always easy to pick out.  I should know because lately I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off him either.  Go the long way to the motor coach lot, trying to duck and dodge even other drivers at this point because, to be honest, I doubt there’s anyone who really wants to see us right now.

SPEED’s airing of my “encounter” with Burton may not have gotten the fans’ attention too much, but the rest of the garage didn’t seem to think too highly of it.  Picking a fight with one of the most liked guys in the garage is never a good thing…especially when the rest got out.  That’s the thing people don’t realize about the garage.  There are no secrets.  So once people found out about Kev’s stunt and why he pulled it…let’s just say the two of us haven’t been getting the best reception from the rest of the NASCAR world.  It’s times like this that have me wondering if it would’ve been better to hit the delete button and go back to Christmas and let Kevin win.  But then I look at June, remember how he makes me feel and I know there’s no way I’d do that even if I could.  Especially since right now…he needs me.

Reach my coach and quickly usher him inside, hopeful that no one that matters saw him come in here.  I’m sure plenty of people wouldn’t be surprised to know he’s taking refuge with his “bitch.”  But as long as the media doesn’t catch wind maybe we’ll have some privacy for awhile.  Close the door behind us, locking us safely inside and then after one brief look at him, head for the little kitchenette to pull out the Jack.  Times like this my sponsor really does come in handy.

Pour two glasses of whiskey straight over ice and then bring one over to him along with a kitchen towel I use to wipe off my face and neck from the rain.  He takes the glass and the towel from me, mild surprise registering on his face and he shakes his head.  “We shouldn’t.  Not now…,” he mumbles but takes a long drink anyway.

“This from the ‘Bud boy?’”  Inwardly flinch at the glare my words win me and I try to back track, last thing I want to do is piss him off.  “Have you seen the radar?  The day’s a total wash out.”  His head turns away sharply as he wipes off his face and maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say either.  Maybe he was still holding out hope….  Dammit Bowyer, do something right for once! 

“June, hey…,” I start but the look he shoots cuts me off cold.  That’s the hard look I’ve been used to these past weeks and I realize what he thinks I’m going to say.  He thinks I’m gonna tell him that everything’s alright when right now…it isn’t.  He’s obviously not in the mood for consoling platitudes so I take a long drink of my whiskey and try to figure out my next move.  I want him to know he can come to me, that I’ll be a friend as well as a…lover?  But as I watch him shake the ice in the already half empty glass I know my time is running out. 

He makes to down the rest of his glass and I quickly do the same.  Then before he can say a word I take both glasses and turn back to the small counter holding the bottle.  Set them both down as if I’m going to refill them but instead of picking up the bottle I turn to him quickly, take his face in my hands, and kiss him like I’ve never kissed him before.

We’ve done desperate.  We’ve done hot and passionate and seductive.  We’ve even done anger and spite and rage at each other and the world.  But this kiss isn’t any of those.  This time I want to show him that I really do care about him, and he resists at first.  He tries to pull me closer then push me back against the counter to take control but this time I’m having none of it.  I hold his face tighter and continue to kiss him softly, taking my time to explore the contours of his mouth with my tongue until he finally gives way to my touch.  I still feel the live wire under the surface but now I think the hurt and despair are out weighing the rest.  And maybe I’m an ass for taking advantage but…what if I never get another chance?

Slowly slide my hands down his face and caress his neck, thumbs tracing his jaw tenderly before running my hands over his collarbones to his shoulders.  He tries to grab me and take control again but I counter by grabbing his shoulders tightly, to keep him still.  Tilt my head to kiss the soft skin below his ear and he tries to squirm again.

“Clint, c’mon, let me--”

“Not this time, Earnhardt,” I tell him firmly and suck at his earlobe, tongue flicking over his skin.  “My coach, my rules.”  At least they’re gonna be this time.  I know damn well he doesn’t want to go back outside and I’m gonna use it to my advantage.  I know he’d love nothing better than to turn me around and fuck me into the counter or bend me over the couch.  Maybe later.  Right now I want to take a little bit more time with him.  Kiss him hard again and then start to back him through my coach intending on having him in my bed the way I want.

We make it halfway back through the coach before he protests again but I turn his words into a groan when I reach between his legs and rub him hard.  That’s right Junior, two can play this game.  He’s shown me exactly how he likes to be pleased and I’m not too proud to use it against him.  Whether he believes it or not he needs more than a quick fuck.  He needs to feel wanted and I’m gonna make damn sure there’s no doubt in his mind exactly how wonderful he is.

Back him through the bedroom door at the end of the hall and when the back of his knees hit my bed I push him backwards so he falls across it.  He looks up at me in surprise and I grin.  Yup, I am full of surprises June.  I’m more than just a toy to be fucked and I’m gonna show him.  Fuck, I’m gonna show him everything.

“Clint, what’re you--”

Press him back on the bed and smother his words with my kiss as I run my hands over him and unzip his firesuit.  Push and pull the heavy fabric down his arms and then shove it down his legs.  Don’t worry June.  You’ll get everything you’re looking for tonight…on my terms.  Tug his T-shirt up his chest and then pull it over his head.  I really should talk to him about wearing more nomex.  You’d think he  would’ve learned.  Run my hands over his chest then purr soft against his skin, “Relax, June.  Just relax and let me take care of…everything.”

I wanted to say “you.”  Hell, I really, really did but considering I can still feel the tension in his body I’m glad I didn’t because I have a feeling it would’ve made him push me away more.  I need to get him to give me a chance, just one chance.  That’s all I need.  Then he’ll know he’s not alone.  Kiss along his collarbone and nibble against his neck as I push the rest of his clothes off and take him in my hand.  “Fuck yessssss so damn hard.”

Hear him grunt under my persistent touch and then it’s my firesuit that’s rapidly disappearing.  Let go of him only to shake out of the heavy material and pull my undershirt over my head.  Look back down at him and frown when I see he’s rolled over on the bed to get up on his knees.  Gaze at him a long moment, seriously considering rolling him back over so I can watch the desire flicker through his blue eyes but I don’t.  He can play it this way if he wants.  I can still do things my way.  Lean over him and slowly kiss upwards from the base of his spine as I reach around to stroke him at the same time.  You can run June, but you can’t hide.

Slide my free hand along his side, over his back and ass, anywhere and everywhere to caress his skin.  Kiss my way up to his neck and suck lightly at the pale scar from years ago.  Feel him tremble lightly and suck a little harder as I continue to fist him in my hand.  He bucks into my touch, trying to get me to speed up but I won’t.  No, I want to take this slow.  I want to make this last.  Wrap my other arm around him and lean over until I’m rubbing against his back, sliding my hand over his hard chest.  “Aw hell, June…so damn perfect.”

Feel him shift under me and I nuzzle his neck, trying to absorb everything that is him, trying to memorize everything now that it’s not all so rushed and frantic.  For the first time I can focus on him without being so out of control and I kiss over a light dusting of freckles on his shoulder.  I love the way his muscles stretch and flex underneath me as he pushes into my hand and the soft groan he makes that turns my insides to mush.  I love the way the hairs at the base of his neck curl slightly when they get too long and I lean down to kiss just below them.  This is why I betrayed everything.  And for this I can forget…if only for awhile.

“Clint, fuck, pleeeeease.  Stop fuckin’ with me.”  His words are commanding but there’s no edge to his voice the way there has been before.  I think he knows I won’t be giving in so easy this time.  And he’s right.  Tonight we play it my way.

“Don’t worry June, you won’t be left wantin’.  Neither of us will.”  Reach down to the side of the bed and between the mattress for the lube I hid there earlier.  For some reason I still can’t seem to leave it unhidden, but I think this actually worked out more convenient anyway.  Flip the top open and pour the cool fluid into my free hand and then coat myself thoroughly, but I don’t push into him yet.  Instead I slowly stretch him with two fingers, twisting and curling them as I explore him more than I’ve ever  had a chance to before.  See the way his back arches slightly, the way his toes curl and relax when I thrust deeper and the light sheen of sweat breaking out over his sexy, pale body.  “Aw hell, yesssssssss.”

Groan softly and lean over him, kissing and nipping at his skin as his whines grow louder and his muscles tense.  Only then do I finally take mercy on him and remove my fingers.  Thrust into him immediately after and our cries mingle in the air.  Fuck, yes.  This is the dream that’s been haunting me every night.  Slam into him harder but don’t start a quick rhythm yet.  No, I still want to take my time.  Reach around him so I can run both of my hands over his body and he takes that moment to clamp down on me hard, pushing back against me.  His hands fist in the sheets and I swear he’s trying to fuck himself on me.  Wrap my arm around his waist and purr against his ear, “Relax, June.  I’m not going anywhere.”

He cries out suddenly then bucks against me and tightens his muscles again.  “Bowyer, dammit, fuck me.  Just fuck me.” 

Tighten my arm around him and kiss his neck before answering him with a husky voice, “Your wish is my command.”  Kiss his neck tenderly again and run my hand over his chest before sliding back and moving my hands to his hips.  Groan soft at the sight of him and then slam into him harder than before but this time I don’t make him wait for more.  Thrust into him again and again until his moans are mingling with mine.  Feel my desire rise at a fever pitch and with all the stalling I don’t think I’m going to last long.  Watch his body shiver and shake and I know exactly what I want.

I want all of him.

Slide my hands over his sweat soaked skin and slam into him again and again.  Everything about this is so right and I can’t believe it took so long to get here.  It’s like running your heart out on a dirt bike, thinking you have the world until you slide behind the wheel of a car for the first time and everything changes.  Your world suddenly becomes so much bigger and so much better with something you never knew you needed.  That’s what it’s like being with him.  That’s why I have to have this.

Tighten my hands on his hips and I can hear him yellin’ at me for more and he’s gonna get it all.  Feel the burn coiling in my stomach and before I know it’s coming I’m screaming out his name and trembling uncontrollably with the most intense release I can remember.  And I know he wants more.  And so do I.

Pull from him suddenly and barely stay on my feet as I’m still weak in the knees with blissful aftershocks coursing through my veins.  There’s one thing I want when I’m like this and one thing I’ve never had with someone like him but that’s all gonna change.  Roll him over against his protests and instantly take him into my mouth, licking and sucking for all I’m worth.  I wanna taste him.  I want to feel him on my tongue while I’m still shaking with the pleasure he’s given me.  I want everything about him and I want it all at once.

“Clint, holy fuck!”  Sweet, warmth slides down my throat and God damn if I knew it would be so good I’d have done this before.  Swallow and suck, wanting to capture every last drop and it’s all better than I ever dreamed.  In my dreams I had to wake up but now…now I can press against his warm skin and actually enjoy the feel of his touch.

Crawl up his still trembling body and kiss over his shoulder, along his collarbone to his neck and then breathe in the scent of him.  Raw and untamed and so different than Athena or any woman ever was.  He’s so primal and wild that sometimes—most of the time—I can’t begin to think straight.  All I want to do is think about when I can have some more.  Listen to him breath, feeling when he starts to catch his breathe and I slide my hand over his chest, for once not having to rush into something else. But just when I start to tighten my arm around him…some kind of music starts to play.  Is that Three Doors Down?

Open my eyes when I feel him take my arm by the wrist and I move off of him as he easily slides out of bed.  Dammit, is there any way to make that man stay in bed for more than five minutes without fucking him unconscious?  Blink and sit up when I realize the music is his phone that he’s pulling out of the pocket of his firesuit.  It’s Harvick.  It’s got to be fucking Harvick calling to fuck with--

“Yeah?  They will?  Really?”  See his face light up more than it has all week and I’m jealous of whoever’s on the other end.  Why can’t I be the one to make him smile like that?  I swear, if somehow Kevin’s--  “Thank you.  Hell, thank them.  Yeah, yeah, I know I should have known you’d take care of me.”  Frown as he chuckles and narrow my eyes a little more.  I was the one taking care of you, June.  Why the hell can’t you see that?

“No he wouldn’t.  Daddy’d be takin’ you out huntin’ and you know it.  Thanks Richard.  I’ll be there.  I’ll make you proud.”

Watch as he ends the call and gathers up the rest of his clothes as I twist my hands in the sheets.  What is he…, “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah,” he tells me without looking at me as he pulls on his boxers and then slides into his firesuit.  “Richard called.  Nemechek is willing to let us buy his car for the race.  I’m gonna go meet up and thank him in person.”  Watch him zip up his suit halfway, letting it hang around his waist the way I’ve seen another teammate do on so many occasions and I feel the bottom drop out.  After all of that…he’s just gonna…leave?

“Now?  I mean, can’t you meet them later?”

Flinch at the sharp look he sends me and I can’t help but fidget under his gaze.  “Joe doesn’t have to give up his car, Clint.  I ain’t like you.  I’m not locked in on points.  Were it not for him I’d be sittin’ on the damn sidelines Sunday so if he wants me to go over and kiss his feet or wash his car, I’m gonna fuckin’ do it.”  He slides his phone into his pocket and my heart sinks even more as he adds, “Besides.  Aren’t we done here?”

Swallow hard and twist the fine cotton Athena insisted we buy in my hands.  God, I feel like such a fucking fool.  She would’ve still been here.  She’d be curled up in my arms, telling me how amazing I am…not running for cover at the first chance of getting close.  What the fuck was I thinking?

“Yeah.  Yeah we’re good.” I tell him as I roll out of the other side of the bed, snagging some jeans off the floor I wore earlier.  I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, why I keep throwing everything away for…whatever this--

Blink in surprise when I’m suddenly turned around and kissed soundly on the mouth.  But before I can react he’s gone, heading down the small hall and out of my coach.  “Catch you later,” he calls out as he closes the door and I have to wonder why he even bothered with the kiss.  Was it supposed to be some kind of a thank you for a good fuck, thank you for distracting me until RC made everything right?  Or is there something more….

Spin around and shake my head as I run my fingers through my mussed hair.  Is he really sending me mixed signals, or is it wishful thinking?  Maybe this is how he is?  Fuck if I know.  At least RC got everything worked out.  I just wish he’d, I dunno, hung around to celebrate instead of bolting like his ass was on fire.  But what can I expect?  Maybe he just doesn’t want to be with a Judas….

Raise my eyes to stare into my open closet and at the firesuit that’s now clean.  Thankfully someone apparently knows how to get Sharpie to wash out, but I still don’t want to wear it.  The stain may be gone but I can still see the words, the ones that weren’t meant for me.

“Have fun with Judas.  Daddy would be proud.”

Maybe that’s why he was so pissed, maybe it had nothing to do with worrying over qualifying.  Maybe he’s pissed because he knows what I am and hates me for it.  God knows I’m starting to.  I’ve been so busy trying to give him everything I think he wants….  Or maybe I’m just not good enough after all.  I never got to know his dad but I can’t imagine that this, us, would make him very happy.  So why the fuck did Harvick have to go rub his face in it?

Maybe because Kev has a way of making everyone around him see the truth even when they’d rather keep walking blind.  God dammit.  Storm through my coach and grab one of the glasses from earlier, filling it to the top with Jack and down it all in one, long, burning swallow.  He’s right.  I am no better than Brutus or Judas or any other fucker who betrayed a friend.  Fuck, I can’t even say I’m doing it for a good reason since I don’t even know if Junior even really likes me at all beyond being a willing body.

But then I remember how lost he was when he came looking for me…

 Turn back to the bottle and I know it’s gonna be a long night.  I used to have somewhere to spend these washed out, rainy days but it looks like Jack’s gonna be my only company tonight.  Head over to the couch and drop down on it, staring out the almost closed window blinds at the rain and try to figure out when the hell things got so damn complicated.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com