Not Backing Down

Home : Stories by Catw00man : RCR 2008 AU : Path of Thorns - Not Backing Down

Summary: Sometimes something can be so wrong it’s right.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: NC-17
SERIES/SETTING: Path of Thorns
CHARACTERS: Dale Earnhardt Jr/Clint Bowyer, Clint POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #81 (#55 for me) - Grovel
COMPLETED: February 7, 2008
WORDS: 5,252
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place during the Sound and Speed fan event in Nashville, Tennessee. This event included autograph sessions for both Clint Bowyer and Dale Earnhardt Jr. I fill in the details.
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Sound and Speed - Nashville, Tennessee: January 12, 2008

It’s wrong.  Absolutely everything about this is wrong, and I know it.  I know I’m screwing up my life and potentially my future but right now, with him looking at me like that, I don’t care.  I’m in a room full of people, smiling and signing autographs but it’s all white noise.  I don’t really see any of them.  All I can see is him, across the room, telling me everything he could do to me with the sinful glint in his eyes. 

And I can’t resist.

I want to know what else he’ll do to me.  I want to see if he’s teasing or making promises for later.   Scribble my name on the windshield of another black 07 diecast and my mind spins with all the possibilities.  Could we find some privacy here?  Would he pull me into some storage closet or maybe push me against some wall at the airport?  Or maybe I’ll get really lucky and he’ll ask me to fly back with him on his plane.  God knows what we could get up to a mile high….

“Thank you Clint!  You’re my favorite driver!  I hope you beat Carl in the Nationwide series this year!”

Smile and nod to the young girl gushing at me, doing my best to feign interest in her and the dozens and dozens just like her.  Lean forward to pose for a picture and then get into a rhythm of signing again.  Attempt to focus on answering questions as I sign autographs and it finally starts to work.  I get a little lost in the admiration of so many and it still blows my mind.  Just a few years ago I was still running on dirt, a nobody, and now people are lined up across the room just to see me.

Look up to smile at another couple decked out in Jack Daniel’s and Direct TV wear when I feel a different set of eyes burning into the back of my neck.  Turn quickly because I can sense someone hovering behind me and my eyes go wide when I realize it’s him.  Shouldn’t he still be signing?  Why is he…what is he doing?

“You gonna need a ride to the airport, teammate?  I could always hang around a little longer.”  His words are innocent but his expression is anything but.  The way his lip curls up when he smiles, and I swear I feel completely laid bare by the devilish look in his eyes.  It’s the same look he gave me when he showed up during testing Monday and it’s already got my insides turning to heated mush.  He still wants me.  God help me, he still wants me.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good, June.  I think I’m almost done here,” I tell him as I glance down the line of people holding tight to their blue tickets.  Only about thirty or forty more.  Look back up at him and shiver at his sparkling blue eyes.  “I’ll meet you…” I say and nod towards the back room where there’s an exit that leads to the private parking lot behind the building.

“I’ll find you,” he replies with that same crooked smirk and I have no doubt he will.  He turns and I can’t help my gaze from lingering over the way his Wranglers slide over his ass and when the hell did I start looking at guys like this?

Duck my head and reach for the water bottle on the table, taking a long drink and trying to hide the blush I can feel staining my cheeks and creeping down my neck.  Focus, Bowyer.  Focus.  You don’t need your fans seeing you ogling your teammate’s ass!  Swallow down the lukewarm water and then turn back to smile at the next waiting couple.  Sign their cars, nod to their babbled encouragement and do my best to look like everything is normal…even though nothing could be further from the truth.

A few weeks ago I was on the fast track to marrying who I thought was the love of my life.  Athena and I were together for years.  She came from Kansas with me and, just like DeLana with Kevin, she never left my side.  We made the perfect foursome and I was already thinking about popping the question.  God knows D badgered me about it enough.  I had my life all mapped out.

And then he kissed me.

Reach for the water bottle again and drain it this time, but it doesn’t stop the low burn deep inside.  No, he’s been kindling that all night with sideward glances and well chosen words meant solely for me.  It’s a game to him.  I’m not so naïve as not to see it.  There is no future for the flavor of the week and I’m constantly wondering how long it will be before he gets tired of me and goes after someone more his style…like Harvick.  But either way, I had no choice but to break up with Athena.

I swear I must be the biggest fool on the planet.  I had the most amazing woman who loved me and my passion for racing.  She was willing to give up her life for mine and did for over four years, coming to races, running my board and fan club.  She was all ready to be just like DeLana and be my partner in everything.  And that’s exactly why I had to break her heart.

Smear the next autograph a little too much for my liking, but there’s no going back to fix it.  Just like there’s no going back to fix me.  But there should be.  I should forget all about this, fly back to Kansas and beg Athena to take me back.  I should get on my knees and tell her I made a horrible mistake, that I love her more than anything and I need her in my life.  But that’s just it.  I love her too much to cheat on her.  I love her too much to become…them.

Just a few more people to please.  I can see the end of the line now.  Damn Earnhardt.  I think he only had them give out a hundred tickets.  Lucky him.  My hand is already cramping and, shit, why is that making me think of him and all the other muscles he can cause to cramp tonight.  I swear I really do need mental help.

Bite my lip when the next person asks me about Athena and I just tell them she’s doing fine, lying right through my teeth.  Our break up isn’t public yet and I have no doubt she’s back at her parent’s house in Kansas crying and cursing my name.  I just wish I could make her understand.  I love her too much to let things continue as they were.  We do spend too much time with the Harvicks and Athena is too beautiful of a woman for Junior not to take notice.  I know he’s played both sides and as much as she loves me…I might be able to convince her to go for it.

And I could never allow that.

She’s too precious to be used that way and no matter what Kevin seems to think…it’s not right.  You can only give your heart completely to one person.  All the rest is just lust and desire that will breed loathing and jealously.  I’d never ask Athena to walk that road with me and I know without a doubt that as long as Junior’s after me…I’ll never be able to resist.  Not to mention the fact that I can’t begin to keep my hormones in check when I’m around him and until I can sort that out I can’t be with anyone.  I’m still trying to figure out when I became attractive to guys.  How can I possibly ask her to stay with me?  Maybe someday when I finally understand, maybe then I can crawl on my knees and get her back….

Not that I’d deserve her.

Look up when I’m not immediately handed another car and that’s when I realize I’m done.  There’s still a crowd milling around for some of the other drivers but apparently I’ve exhausted all the ones here for me.  Thank God.  All this mindless repetition got me thinking way the heck too much.  I need to get out of here. 

Push away from the table, wave for a few more photographs and then I’m heading to the back room to find my way out.  I expect to see him immediately, the center of attention as always, but to my surprise he’s not here.  Surely he wouldn’t have left without me…right?  Or has the game changed from one of sweet anticipation to getting me worked up and leaving me high and dry?  Shift uncomfortably at the thought when I finally see Mike trying to get my attention from across the room.  Look his direction and he nods towards the back door and I realize Earnhardt must have his PR man in on this too.  Great.  I’m so thrilled to be the topic of gossip between them.

Feel my cheeks burn again and I shove my hands in my pockets as I head for the back door.  Make eye contact with no one else along the way because I can’t help but feel like everyone knows what’s going on, what I’m doing, and I don’t wanna be a big joke.  Poor Kansas boy, so out of his depth.  Like I don’t know it.  Slide my hand over the bar on the back door and then shove it open, moving through and stepping into…darkness?

Shouldn’t there be a light out here?  Door clicks shut behind me and I rapidly blink to try and get my eyes to focus when my back is suddenly slammed up against the wall.  “June…wha--?”

My words are cut off and completely swallowed up by his kiss.  Shit, how does he do this?  Wrap my arms tight around him as his hips grind against mine and all my worries, all my concerns are completely swept away.  Thread my fingers through his short hair and I can feel the heat rising inside, burning through me like a grass fire running unchecked across the plains.  This is why.  This is why I can’t stop.

“Junior…” I gasp, breathless when he finally breaks the kiss and I tilt my head back against the brick wall.  That’s when I see that the light that should have been over the door has been unscrewed and I’m sure I know the culprit.  I swear he’s every bit as wild as a tornado, scooping up and tossing aside anything and everything only according to his will.

“That’s my name, Bowyer” he tells me as he nips at my jaw.  God, I swear, with what he’s doing to me I’d probably let him take me right here if that’s what he wanted.  “So, you ready to get outta here?”

Thank goodness.  “Yeah, yeah, I’ve…I’m ready to go.”  Hear his low chuckle and I know he’s mocking me for stumbling over my words.  But I don’t care.  All I want is to find some place to be alone with him.

“Good.”  His slow grin sends shivers down my spine as the shadows over his face make him look even more devilish than usual.  “Not like you’re getting a choice.”

I start to reply but before I can he’s dragging me across the parking lot.  Glance over to where my rental was parked and I can see it’s already gone.  I bet he had Mike take care of it.  Either way I know that I’m his for the night…and I can’t say I mind.  At least for a little while I know I won’t have to think.

Reach the car and hesitate for a moment before moving around to the passenger side, Junior’s question of, “You comin’ or not?” echoing in my ears.  How was I supposed to know?  For all I knew he was gonna throw me in the back seat and go from there.  Shake my head as I slide into my seat and I’m unsurprised when he’s peeling out of the parking lot before I even get buckled in the seat.  Shift back in the seat to get as comfortable as I can with him so near and wonder if we’re heading to the airport or some secluded destination.

Feel his hand at the back of my neck, strong fingers easing away tension until he gives me a little tug.  Look over at him and find him shooting me that devilish smirk of his.  “So, you wanna come over here and get me warmed up for later or what?”

I…what?  Look at him in confusion until he gives my neck another downward tug and my eyes go wide when I realize what he’s implying.  He wants me too…”June, I-I…wait, no, I mean…”

His laughter is what stops my frantic search for words and his hand gives my neck another squeeze before pulling away.  “Relaaaax, Bowyer.  I’m not gonna force you into somethin’ you’re not ready for.”  His eyes glint from the moonlight streaming through the windshield as he smiles.  “But hell, you can’t blame a guy for tryin’, right?”

Laugh nervously and nod to him.  “Yeah, yeah, ok.  Sure.”  I can feel my cheeks are crimson again and I swear I’ve never blushed so much before him.  Oh, Harvick can find ways to embarrass the hell out of me but Earnhardt?  Earnhardt’s in a league of his own.  Feel his hand start to run up my thigh and part of me wants to reach out and stop him.  But why?  We both know where this is going.  Time I showed him I do have some balls after all.

Reach down for his hand and pull it up and between my legs until he’s cupping me through my jeans.  Squeeze his hand over me and look over at him with a mischievous look of my own.  “I think this is what you were looking for.”

His eyes go wide for a moment but I only faze him for a second.  Next thing I know he’s rubbing his palm over me and drawing a moan from my lips with no effort at all.  “Well, look at  you Kansas boy.  Turns out you’ve got some spine after all.  Not to mention balls….”  Gasp as he slides his hand down further to squeeze me tight and there’s no question of my desire for him.  He’s playing me like a finely honed instrument and I know no matter what I do I don’t stand a chance against him.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t try….

“Oh I’ve got more balls than you know, Earnhardt.”  Blush slightly at the amused look he shoots me and I realize I could have chosen my words better.  But, damn it, I’m not just gonna lie down and let him control everything.  “There’s more to me than meets the eye, or didn’t I prove that last year, whipping a boat load of people I wasn’t supposed to?”

Shiver at the intense glance he shoots me before looking back at the road and I don’t miss the look in his eyes.  I’ve seen it before, but not in a shade of blue.  I’ve known that look in green eyes, and I’ve dreaded it every time because whenever I got that look…I knew I was about to lose.

“I’ll tell you what, Shifty.  You show me how much balls you really have and I’ll let you fuck me for once.”  He stops at a red light and meets my eyes with blazing blue that takes my breath away.  It’s a challenge, just like the one that started this whole thing and I know I can’t turn it down without looking like a total wuss.  I made my damn bed.  Now I guess I have to lie in it.

“What-what do I have to do?”  Silently curse my stuttered words.  Way to be strong Bowyer.  He’ll really respect you for standing up to him now.  God knows what he’s gonna want you to--

“Blow me and I’ll let you fuck me before we get on the plane.”

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyuuuuuuuuuuut.

I so brought this all on myself.  I should have known if I couldn’t best Kev, what chance did I ever have with Earnhardt?  I back out now…he just might lose interest.  Why wouldn’t he when he could have someone who’s not a fucking pansy.  Jesus Christ aren’t I supposed to be straight?  Shit, this is one good way to find out isn’t it?  But to fucking suck his dick…

“Well?  You man enough or were you just blowing smoke up my ass?”  Hear the engine rev and I know he’s doing it on purpose, trying to get under my skin.  I’ve painted myself in a corner, just like I did with Kev and now I’ve got no way out…but to accept his offer.

“I ain’t blowing nothing up your ass, but I plan on sticking something up it later.”  Unfasten my seatbelt and lean towards him before I lose my nerve.  Kiss him hard and slide my hand between his legs and to my mild surprise find he’s already hard as a rock.  Shit, he really does want this.  Break the kiss just as the light turns green and see the surprise in his eyes.  I obviously caught him off guard.  Let’s see if I can keep it going.  “So?  You gonna drive or can’t you handle it?”

“I can handle anything you throw at me Bowyer,” he replies instantly and jerks the car into gear.  Hear the motor whine and grind as he cycles through the gears and I can tell I’ve gotten under his skin.  Now as long as I can go through with this…I might gain a little respect.  Or if not, at least I’ll be getting his tight ass as a reward.

“We’ll see about that,” I shoot back at him and rub him hard through the denim.  I know he’s going to be getting antsy pretty quick so once I hear his moan low at my ear I unfasten the button of his jeans.  Tilt my head and suck lightly at his neck as I pull the zipper down and I feel his pulse racing under his skin.  Flick my tongue out over his pulse point and grin as he groans again.

“Don’t be a fucking tease, Clint.  Either you’re a man of your word or you ain’t,” he grits out as I finally take him in my hand and pull him from his jeans.  Hard and velvety hot, I slide my hand over his length and I can’t even look at first.  I’ve never fondled another man’s dick before and just the touch is twisting me up inside.  The burn that’s been building all night has turned into a wildfire inferno and I can hear my heart racing in my ears.  I swear I don’t know if I’ve ever been this turned on in my life.

Nip harder at his neck and reply to him in a surprisingly husky voice, “Relax Junior.  You want this done right dontcha?”  Smile when he grudgingly gives me a nod and grips the wheel tighter.  I can do this.  It’s not like it hasn’t been done to me tons of times before.  Nibble at his ear, tracing it with my tongue and then finally turn my gaze downward as I slide down into his lap.

Holy fucking shit.  He’s big.  And hard.  It’s no wonder he has an entourage who follows him where ever he goes.  Good God, he really got all that in my ass?  Wet my lips nervously and I know there’s no damn way I’m going to get all of that down my throat.  I’m just gonna have to find a way to distract him enough that he doesn’t care.  Tighten my hand around his cock and stroke him slowly, eyes widening as precum starts to bead at the tip.  I’m stalling, I know I am, but—

“Shiiiit Clint, stop fucking toyin’ with me,” he groans and I feel his hand at the back of my neck, urging me down.  Shake it off, he’s not running this game, and then slowly slide down further, heart pounding at what I’m about to do.  Flick my tongue over his tip and he bucks up suddenly at my touch.  “Shit, shit,” he cries out and I feel him tense underneath me.  Damn he’s sensitive.  Maybe I can handle this after all.

Move over him, squirming between him and the wheel and swirl my tongue around his tip.  I catch the taste of him, but it’s not as bad as I expected.  I can do this.  I’ll just…do what I like.  Suck the head of his cock into my mouth and tongue his slit, teasing it for more hot fluid as I slide my hand up and down his length.  Take him a little deeper and suck hard, freezing for a moment when the back of my head hits the wheel.  Down boy.  You’ll get what you’re asking for.

His moans are music to my ears as is the long stream of heavily accented curses.  Take him down a little more, sucking and lashing him with my tongue, as I continue to squeeze him tight in my hand and stroke him hard.  He’s getting close.  I can tell by the way his muscles are so tense and his cursing has tapered off.  Suck harder and very lightly graze him with my teeth, anything and everything I can think of until--

“Fucking SHIT!”

My mouth fills with warm, salty fluid and my first instinct is to gag.  Try to pull back and when did his hand move back to my neck?  Grimace and swallow around him as I pull back, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.  Slide back to my seat and wipe my mouth again.  Damn I wish I’d brought a bottle of water with me.  But then I look over at him, white knuckling the wheel and still panting and I don’t care so much about the taste in my mouth.  Holy shit, did I really do that to him?

“God damn Clint, you sure you ain’t done that before?”  Blush crimson at his words and shake my head as I trace my fingers along the shell of my left ear.  He’s gotta be screwing with me.  There’s gotta be a punch line in there somewhere.  Look through the windshield as he whips into the small airport parking lot and away from the bright overhead lights into secluded darkness.

“Wasn’t nothin’“ I mumble, not looking at him.  I don’t want to see the teasing glint I know will be there.  One thing I’ve learned from Harvick, never take a compliment at face value.  Run my hand along the armrest on the door as he pulls into a parking space and I wonder if his offer still stands….

“Clint.”  His voice is husky and it’s only after he says my name twice that I finally look his direction.  Shadowed blue eyes meet mine and I can’t completely read him.  What is he thinking?  What does he want from me?  “Oh hell….”  Frown at him slightly, but before I can ask what’s wrong he’s moved across the seats and crushing his lips to mine.

Start in surprise and then melt into the kiss as he slides his hand over my chest.  This isn’t what I expected at all.  But I’m not complaining.  He can kiss me all night if he has a mind to.  I’m not putting up a fight.

“I wasn’t shittin’ you Bowyer.  That was fucking good.  Or couldn’t you tell with how easy you got me off?”  Blink at him in surprise, his sweet, husky words addressing all of my concerns.  How could he know?  Am I really that easy to read?  Nod to him in the darkness over the car and shiver as a slow, sultry grin crosses his face.  “Now, I think I promised you something, didn’t I?”

Eyes widen when I realize he really means to go through with it and I feel heat throbbing between my legs.  I can’t even begin to image what his tight ass must feel like, and I know I’m not even remotely prepared.  Athena was never that adventurous so this is all slightly uncharted waters for me.  Try not to look like a total tool as I struggle to find the right words.  “Junior, I haven’t--I mean, you’re gonna hafta….”

“Show you exactly how I like it?”  Sexy smirk makes its presence known again as he replies.  “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”  Feel his hand between my legs, rubbing me hard and I can’t stop the moan that escapes my lips.  Shit, he’s been in control the whole damn time.  But did I really expect any less?

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it.”  Slide my arms around him and down his pants, over bare flesh.  “Let me at this tight ass of yours,” I tease as I squeeze his cheeks tight.  I can tell he’s surprised, but pleasantly so if the grin on his face is any indication.

“Aight, aight, I’m a man of my word.  Hold on,” he tells me then reaches into a bag he’s stored behind his seat.  Watch as he rummages around in it for a moment and then he’s pulling out the same lube he used in Daytona.  Gotta give it to him, at least he’s prepared.  But I think we both knew all along where this was going.  I just didn’t know he was going to be the one to play the bitch. Slide my hands over his ass again and drag my nails over his skin as he moves back to the front seat.

“Just let me take care of things,” he tells me as he undoes my jeans and all I can do is stare at him.  Everything about him exudes eternal confidence and I can’t help but be reminded of Kev.  He’s the only other one I’ve ever known who can be so…commanding.  Thing is, I’ve found that I really don’t mind being a little…out of control.

“Oh daaaamn,” I gasp when I feel his hand sliding over my hard length, the cool lube just causing the fire inside me to burn hotter.  I swear he can make me his bitch all he wants.  He’s not gonna find me complaining.  Rock into his touch and bite back a moan as I feel his nails graze over me and if he doesn’t stop it this is gonna be over before it begins.  Open my mouth to warn him off but he’s already moving to crawl into the backseat, pushing his jeans and boxers down at the same time.  He ends up propped up with his hands on the back seat and his pale, white ass swaying side to side.

I just can’t help myself.  Smack him hard on the ass and his head snaps around to look at me in surprise.  “Oh, really?  Gonna back that up?” he tells me with a grin and wiggles his ass in my face.  Oh hell yeah.  I don’t need any more of an invitation.  Shove my jeans down and maneuver behind him, one knee on each of the front seats.

“Damn right I am.  Your ass is mine, Earnhardt.”  Slide my hands up his legs to grip his hips and spread his cheeks slightly with my thumbs to get into position.  That’s when I remember, this isn’t like being with Athena.  Try to remember what Junior did to me before.  Didn’t he use his fingers or something.  Maybe I need to--

“Dear god Clint, just fuck me already!” he snaps at me harshly, snapping me from my thoughts.  Look down to catch his glare and I’m not gonna be one to disappoint.  He wants me to fuck him.  I can fuck him.

Thrust my hips forward hard and oh holy shit this isn’t like anything else I’ve ever felt before.  Push the initial resistance and Junior’s low moans are music to my ears.  Slam forward hard again until I’m completely buried inside him and holy shit, “So fucking tiiiiiiight.”

“Yes, yes, do it, fuck me hard.  Do it now,” he growls under me and how can I possibly deny him.  Try to find a stable position and then slam into him again and again.  I swear it feels like he’s crushing me with each thrust and I don’t want this to end.  It’s awkward as hell in this car but the sweet tightness of his ass makes every ache more than worth it.  Watch as he struggles to reach for something in his bag but I don’t care.  All that matters now is pounding him until he screams.

Feel the heat rising, whipping through me like the Kansas wind and I know I’m losing control.  Feel him grab one of my hands, jerk my arm forward and when he starts thrusting into my hand I realize what he wants.  Squeeze my hand tight around him, letting my nails slide over him and the guttural scream underneath me is all I need to send me cascading over the edge, deeply moaning his name.  Then he’s jerking into my hand and it’s only then that I realize he’s spread a T-shirt over the back seat to catch the sweet release sliding over my fingers.  Damn, he thinks of everything, but for all I know he’s done this all before.

Lean over him, trembling on my knees and rest my cheek at the small of his back, trying to catch my breath.  I can’t remember a time I’ve ever felt things so intense and I’m almost numb from the sensory overload.  Right now I don’t even care that anyone who happens to drive this far in the lot could easily see my pale, naked ass right in the windshield.  Fuck ‘em.  I just don’t give a shit.

“Dammit, Bowyer, kinda cramped here.”

Blink my eyes open--when did I close them?--and struggle to move off of him.  He’s squirming and trying to crawl completely into the back seat and I move off of his jeans so he can jerk them back there with him.  Watch him, still completely spent, and smile as he shimmies into his jeans.  There’s something so undignified about it all and I think that’s part of the allure.  It’s fun to be bad, and I’ve never been anywhere near this bad.  Finally push off the seats and start to struggle into my own jeans, every resulting ache a sweet reminder of the hot and sweaty moments before.

“You think you think you can manage to drive us up to the terminal?”  Look up in the rearview mirror and smile lazily at the image of him stretched out on the back seat.  So I’m to be his chauffer.  I guess I can handle that, him being racing royalty and all.

“Yeah, ok.  With that sweet ass I guess you can make that request.”  Hear him snort as I slide into the driver seat and for the first time tonight I relax.  I may have lost my mind, but isn’t there supposed to be some kind of calm in the midst of insanity?  If so I know I’ve found it.  Turn the key and rev the engine.  It’s gonna be one hell of an interesting season.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com