Black Sheep

Home : Stories by Catw00man/Stories by Zippit : MBN Universe : Black Sheep

Summary: Sometimes you have to get away.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: mbn@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
SERIES/SETTING: MBN Universe
CHARACTERS: Casey Mears, Jeff Gordon, Casey POV
COMPLETED: November 28, 2009
WORDS: 2,513
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All other errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The ride’s just beginning and here’s the introduction to another one of our players. Enjoy. ;)
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Mears’ House – Kansas – October 5, 2005

It’s quiet when I open my eyes to the calm of my grandparents’ house. I needed to get away for a few days. Just away from it all to the one place that still holds any sort of welcome for me. I could’ve stayed in North Carolina and found something anonymous to lose myself in but lately, I’ve been too anonymous. Roll over onto my back and put my hands behind my head as I gaze up at the pristine white ceiling. I’ve never been committed but I think the pure whiteness would drive me mad.
 
I’m not even near that side of crazy, but you wouldn’t know it listening to my parents. It was like the world ended when I told them I was diagnosed with depression. The part that gets me is they were more horrified over my going to a doctor than anything else. It’s not like I was given a choice and you know what? I feel a hell of a lot better than I have in a long time. It wasn’t my decision but fuck, if it didn’t turn out for the better. Uncle Roger reacted the same damn way they did and Chip’s probably heard by now. God, is that why my team and my owner points are being given to Reed?
 
Growl low and sit up to swing my legs over the side of the bed. How the hell am I supposed to be mentoring Reed when my team’s going to be in its first season? A crew with three seasons under its belt can’t be compared to one only getting started on the circuit. Though I’m sure Chip wouldn’t be too happy with what kind of mentoring I’ve been giving Reed. Not that he’s putting it to any use. He told me none of it was new to him. Stalk over to the dresser and pull on a sweatshirt. If it’s not new to him then why the fuck does he always pass out on me?
 
Not once in the past couple months we’ve been together has he initiated anything more than a sloppy kiss. Oh, he’s all too eager for more but when it comes to the prospect of him giving back? Good damn luck. Hiss through my teeth and grab the pill bottle off the dresser, wrenching the cap open to pop two. But then maybe I shouldn’t expect anything less from someone so young. He’s freaking 19 and all about himself. Rub my hands over my head then head downstairs.

I should have more options than dating my 19 year old teammate. It’s pathetic and mixing business with pleasure is never a good thing. I’ve been there, done that, and should know better by now. Grab the end of the banister at the bottom of the stairs and swing myself around the corner into the living room. At least Jamie didn’t change racing series and run 3000 miles across the country.... Shake my head and look around. Doesn’t look like anyone’s home. Head into the kitchen and see the note on the fridge: Off to the farmer’s market for some veggies. We’ll see you for dinner! --Grams

Smile softly because Grandma is never one to skimp on fresh vegetables if she can help it and even more so during the this time of year. Grab the milk out of the fridge and take a couple sips while I make my way through the living room. Flop down on the couch and look outside at the wonderful autumn weather that...rules out doing anything worthwhile outside. It’s utter BS. I’d love nothing more right now than to swim out all the thoughts in my head. But unfortunately indoor pools are a luxury I don’t have in Kansas or back home. Heating the whole damn thing isn’t worth it. I could head to the shop when I get back on the East Coast if that didn’t mean taking the chance of…facing Jamie.
 
Shake my head and kick my feet up on the coffee table while I drain the rest of the milk from the bottle. No, I’m not gonna let that stuff invade the peace here. It’s part of why I didn’t invite Reed along. I don’t need to bring him to one of my few refuges, not when he acts like he’d be just as happy moving on without me. Gram and Gramps really are the only people I have left. Well, them and Jeff I guess. That’s how he made it sound when we talked the other day anyway. Set the empty bottle on the table and lean back on the couch as I remember how odd that call really was.
 
When he picked up the phone he didn’t sound at all like the Jeff I’ve known over the years: polished, professional, and always put together. Yeah, he may have just woken up but even then it makes me wonder why he was sleeping in the middle of the day. Dig my phone from between the couch cushions and flip it end to end in my hand. That’s where it went. Couldn’t find it last night before I went to bed, not that I’d be missing any calls. Nope, I’m not high on anyone’s call list.
 
Open my phone and scroll through the previously called list. Only a couple numbers here: Jeff’s, Gram’s, Chip’s, Jamie’s. Highlight Jeff’s and slide my thumb over the keys. Friends text each other right? So if I sent him a text right now he wouldn’t mind, right?
 
Only one way to find out. Out of state and bored. Entertain me. Blow out a breath after I hit enter. I half expect a reply telling me to lose his number but what I do get back is loads more interesting.
 
Jeff Gordon: is this mears?
 
Huh, of course it’s me. It’s not like he knows any other Mears that’d have his phone number. I know I’m in his phone, so I don’t see why-- Unless...is it possible the illustrious Jeff Gordon doesn’t understand the concept of texting? Now that’s something that needs to be remedied right now and I’m just the person to do it.
 
Yeah. Is this a bad time? I hope it isn’t. When I called him before it was a bad time and if is again now, I’m working on a horrible track record. Another horrible track record I’d really like not to have.
 
Jeff Gordon: no not used to using cell this way
 
So I was right. A smug grin crosses my lips and I wonder if I’m the first he’s ever texted. Now why do I like the sound of that? Maybe because I get to be useful for something after all. hey, that’s what you’ve got me for now. i’ll get you text savvy in no time.”
 
Who would’ve ever thought me, the consistent underperformer, would ever be able to teach Jeff anything? That’s a category I never thought I’d be in. Just like I didn’t expect to be picked by Chip Ganassi for a Cup ride. He gave me the ride when I hadn’t even won or done anything to merit the faith he put in me. And now...he’s putting his faith in Reed. He’s won a couple Busch races at least. Look down at my phone when it buzzes with Jeff’s latest text. 
 
Jeff Gordon: thats not an insult now is it mears
 
Did he take that the wrong way? Is he teasing me? We haven’t hung out much recently but he can’t have changed much from the guy who showed me such a good time in the Canary Islands. It was always easier to hang out with Jeff when Jimmie wasn’t there. It was like I actually mattered for a little while. That’s why when we did hang out in the years after that ROC race I always tried to plan it when Jimmie couldn’t make it. I’m gonna go with that being the guy I’m texting. Hopefully it doesn’t bite me. of course not. you know me better than that. surprised JR hasnt gotten you up to speed.
 
There’s no reply for a lot longer than I’d expect. Did I say the wrong thing? How can I say the wrong thing?! I thought I had him pegged right. I bet he’s planning the best way to tell me to fuck off and shit, why’d I have to go mess up everything by texting him?! Move to my feet and pace in front of the couch, cell clutched tight in my hand, and hope to hell he texts me back. I can’t have already pushed him away. Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t let me have screwed this up. Much as I love my grandparents there’re some things I’ll never talk about with them.
 
Goddamn the stupid weather. I’d be out in the pool right now if I could be. Take the empty milk bottle from earlier and walk to the kitchen to shove it into the recycling bin. Grandma wouldn’t take too kindly to me wearing a hole in her carpet for no reason. Return to pacing in front of the couch because there’s no where else to go. Finally feel my phone vibrate in my hand and heave a sigh when I see it’s from Jeff.
 
Jeff Gordon: dont have time for jr
 
Not what I thought he’d say but I guess that makes sense. Busy schedules and different obligations have to make getting together difficult. Flop back on the couch but this time stretch my legs out across the whole thing. glad you have time for me. am still bored. got any ideas?
 
This time his reply comes a lot faster and I’m relieved.  There aren’t many people at the track I can still look in the eye without some past history being brought up. He’s one of the few and I don’t want to lose that. Guess it’s a good thing we’ve been a little out of the loop on each other. I just hope things’ll stay this way once we do get caught up. Or maybe I’ll think about keeping things to myself….
 
Jeff Gordon: some ideas up ur alley but not good to get you killed
 
Grin at what I read on the screen because he does remember hanging out with me enough to know I’ll do anything wild and crazy. There was one time he dared me to jump a motocross bike into a lake and...I did it. I’ll never forget the look on his face. Or the time I rented a snow machine so we could have a snowball fight in the middle of the summer. We had some fun times. As long as he wasn’t wrapped up in whatever shit he and Jimmie had going on anyway. who says i’d be doing something like that?
 
Jeff Gordon: thsi is u mears
 
Laugh softly because it’s good to be able to joke around with someone again. It’s been a long time since I’ve been stable enough to do so. My depression meds are helping. Slide my fingers over the phone keypad and finally type back: so what are you up to? you know i’m bored
 
Jeff Gordon: not doiing much etiher. just wacthnig it rain
 
Jeff has a place in New York and a place in North Carolina. For all I know he could be in New York but if he was I’d think there’d be a lot more things he could be doing than watching the rain. Maybe he’s as tired of the racing world as I am. hate the rain and the cold. rains too much in NC. can’t do anything in it either.
 
Jeff Gordon: waht would you be doing in stead
 
swimming. Or basketball or anything else that gets me out of the house and makes me feel like I’m actually a person instead of just the last name most people know me for. I know if anything I should be glad it’s gotten my foot in the door, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. For the most part the whispers about my less than stellar performance have died down and it’s all been about the incoming crop of rookies. But I still see how people look at me and I know what they think…. 
 
Jeff Gordon: indoor pool?
 
Ha, yeah. I don’t have one at the house and really I don’t want to go somewhere it’ll get me talked about. Especially if they see me popping pills. No thanks, I’m trying to keep things under wraps. none close by
 
Jeff Gordon: where r u anywaay
 
Grandparents. I hope to God he doesn’t think I’m a sap for being here. I’ve known him for a couple years now and I don’t think Jeff would think anything like that, even though he’s not too big on the family thing. Why am I so damn nervous? We know each other for the most part. We’re not complete strangers. But it’s been a while now and it feels like we are. Hopefully the feeling won’t last long.
 
Jeff Gordon: must be nice
 
probably nicer where you are
 
Jeff Gordon: depneds on your pniot of view i guess
 
Huh, what is up with him? He really isn’t acting like the Jeff I know. The next time I see him I’m going to try and see what else I can get out of him. When I called him, he mentioned something about worrying about the others. Could he mean the development drivers they’re letting go? I had no idea. They looked like they were recovering from the plane crash but I don’t know. huh, guess so. too bad you’re not in town. could hang out and find osmething more interseting for the both of us to do
 
Jeff Gordon: i’d like that. could hang out now. im in town
 
Well, shit. The one time I decide to not stay home as long as I can. not in NC. grandparents in KS
 
Jeff Gordon: shame. got ntihong but time to kill.
 
me too, me too. And goddamnit, I really wish he wasn’t back in North Carolina or maybe that I was back in North Carolina. Some time to hang out with him, face to face, would be good for the both of us it sounds like and I could start figuring out what exactly’s going on with him. got time at the track?
 
Jeff Gordon: always. could do smotehing then?
 
Great, he’s thinking along the same lines as I am. We can catch up in all the downtime we have at the track and also keep ourselves from going insane from boredom. sure that’d be perfect. Look up when I hear a car pull into the driveway. Grandparents are home. see you in KS then?
 
Jeff Gordon: yeah take care mears
 
I’m trying. Believe me, I’m trying. At least I’ve got something to look forward to at the track. First time in a long while I’m not dreading the weekend. Maybe it’ll bleed over into my on track performance. I can hope

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Catw00man & Zippit - mbn@cryptoffic.com