Tourniquet

Home : Stories by Catw00man : The Chase Series : Tourniquet

Summary: A week later and Kevin is still seeking refuge.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: NC-17
SERIES: The Chase Series
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick/Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kevin POV
CATEGORY: General/Romance/Angst
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #46 (#21 for me) - Lamia; 10_per_genre - #7 Run to me
COMPLETED: June 9, 2007
WORD COUNT: 2,852
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A week later and Kevin deals with what he saw and once again I’ve got a song as inspiration. This time it’s Tourniquet by Evanescence and you can click the here if you want to see the lyrics. Yes, I stole the title for the fic but...it just fit so dang well.
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: This takes place Friday night during the sixth race of The Chase 2005 when Kevin Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jeff Gordon all missed The Chase.
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Chase Race #6 - Martinsville Speedway: October 21st, 2005

God, sometimes I hate the life we lead.

How can we both miss The Chase and still not be able to see each other?  Fucking Atlanta testing.  I swear to god I almost flew down just to be with him.  Instead I spent the week sleeping on the rookie’s couch because…there was no way I could be in the same house as that fucking bitch.

“Lying whore,” I spit out as I quickly wash off from practice, wanting to get out of this coach as fast as possible.  Lean forward to rinse the shampoo from my hair and then cut off the water before practically bolting from the shower.  Grab a towel on my way to the bedroom, wrap it around my waist and wonder why I even came back to my coach at all.  I should have just gone straight to Junior’s.  Force of habit I guess.

Look around the room and grab a pair of jeans to pull on and I can’t help but turn over the images of them in mind again, just like I have all fucking week, and I bet that slut still doesn’t even know I was there.  No, she was too busy whoring herself in the garage to even realize I blew a tire and hit the wall.  Lucky for me I decided to take a stroll through the garage while the boys fixed up my car to go back out.

Little did I know I’d find my wife playing garage whore to Jeff instead of being on my pit wagon.  I wonder, did she run to him the instant he wrecked or did he go after her?  I don’t even know why she bothered with the firesuit.  Isn’t that just too much to get off to fuck at a moment’s notice?  Fling my wet towel across the bed before pulling on a faded black Goodwrench T-shirt and head for the door.  I swear to God she was nothing more than a bitch in heat, a slut, a good for nothing whore because…

DeLana doesn’t fuck you with out kissing you.

Pull on my shoes by the door and then slam it open, not even closing it all the way as I head for Dale’s coach, my rage only building.  I knew this was happening.  I’ve known for weeks they were together, my own dreams mocking me with her betrayal that I know I deserve.  I tried to find myself in a friend, lose my pain in his understanding, and I know I only brought down more upon us.  But I never whored myself out to someone I obviously don’t even care about.

Cheap bitch.

Just the thought of her writhing and moaning under him, crying out his name as they rutted like animals, fills me with regret that I ever even knew her, much less loved her.  I stop, his coach in sight, and it really, truly hits me.  I don’t think I ever knew her at all.  My DeLana, my D, would never let someone fuck her she didn’t care about.  But what I saw--it was sex, nothing more.  And the very idea sends me into a tailspin I know I can’t stop.

Start moving again, rushing to his door and it’s opening even before I knock.  Oh God, he was waiting for me, just like he always is.  Rush into his arms as he pushes the door shut behind me and press my lips to his, needing the comfort and understanding I find in his touch.  I needed him all week, the phone just wasn’t enough.  Not to mention it felt really weird calling him from Clint’s house.  Instead I’d just drive around town with my cell, just so I could listen to his sweet southern voice.

“I missed you,” he tells me soft against my lips and I know in an instant that he is my salvation.  He keeps me from falling and has most of the year.  I’ve never been with a man in my life, never wanted another man, but June, god June is so different.  With him it doesn’t matter that he’s a man.  All that matters is he’s him.

“I missed you too,” I tell him in an emotion-filled voice.  I swear I’m always afraid each time we’re apart that he’ll forget me, and I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because she so easily seemed to forget everything we had.  Maybe it’s because I’m scared he’ll wake up and look at me with indifference…the way she did.  Stare into his eyes for a long moment and see the emotion right there at the surface and I know what I need.

I need him to stop the bleeding.

Kiss him again but this time it’s hungrier, more filled with need and I press even closer as he threads his fingers through my wet hair.  I need to be with him.  I need to feel the closeness that a warm body brings and I’ve long since stopped caring that his body is as hard as mine.  Oh, I still imagine the feeling of soft curves under my hands but the way he makes me feel, I just don’t care.

He quiets the storm in my mind, the feeling of abandonment and the pressures of this life that threatens to engulf me whole.  He saved me even when I thought I was beyond saving.  And now I need to be with him more than I need to breathe.

“June, please,” I whisper to him and I can feel him tugging me to his room and black silk sheets almost before I even say a word.  I want to be in his arms.  I swear I don’t think I’ve ever felt so fucking desperate.

“I’ve got you,” he tells me soft and I know he does.  I know he’ll save me even when the world makes me want to die.  Seeing her that way, giving herself away as if it meant nothing hurt me more than I even imagined.  I’d had dreams about them, sure, but seeing it…hearing it…was a completely different story.

I push his T-shirt up as we reach the back of the coach and pull it over his head as he starts to do the same with mine and as I have each time I linger a moment over the sight of him.  The flat hard planes of his chest, the feel off tight muscle under my hands as I run them over his skin--is it wrong I want to be with him?  Normally I just want the feel of his arms around me but right now…I just need more.

“Please June, I want you…” and I hesitate over the next words.  Do I really want to take this further?  Am I really ready for this?  The aching need inside answers for me and I reach to unfasten his jeans.  “I want you to take me.”

He freezes for a moment, just staring into my eyes, and I swear I feel like I’m falling over again.  Please, please Junior don’t deny me.  Please I need the deliverance I find in your arms.  Don’t let me fall.

Hand running down my face and it’s almost too much.  I start to speak again, to beg him not to hold back but he speaks before I can.  “Are you sure?” he asks and I can hear the tremor of desire in his voice.  I know he’s wanted me, but he’s never once pushed, taking things at my pace.  He’s given himself over to me again and again and now I need him to save me.

“I’m positive.  Please, I need this,” I whisper in a hoarse voice and for an instant I’m terrified he’ll turn me away.  My lips part to ask again but it seems in that moment he’s made his decision and he pulls me tight against him, kissing me harder than before.

Oh God, I swear, its baptism by fire with him and I couldn’t deny him anymore even if I wanted to.  Feel him lower me down onto the smooth sheets and his hands are suddenly everywhere at once.  Tilt my head as he kisses along my jaw and the stubble of his face against mine still takes me by surprise.  Feel his strong hands run over my bare stomach to the button of my jeans and I feel myself letting go.  Tonight I just want to be his.

Hands slide over my hips, urgently but tenderly, as he pushes down the denim.  I glide mine over his back and I still can’t believe how one of my closest friends has become my lover.  But the way he’s always understood me without trying, the way he’s always been there for me no matter what…is it so strange that comfort has become physical?

Push those thoughts and questions from my mind as he tosses my jeans aside and I slide my hands inside his to run them over his ass.  His lips attack my neck hungrily and I tilt my head back, a soft moan slipping from my lips.  I swear I just can’t help myself with him.  He turns back to me, green eyes lock with beautiful blue, and I pull him down into another soul searing kiss.

I feel my desire rise even higher as he grinds his hips down against me and I tentatively part my legs more.  Run one hand up his back and through his hair as he kisses me so deeply and I’m filled with so much want.  Save me June.  “Please….”

“I’ve got you, Kev.  I promise.  It’s gonna be ok.”  His words, so sweet and true…and I believe him.  God, I trust him with everything that I am.

Nod to him and watch as he takes a step back, finally shedding his own jeans and boxers and then he’s leaning over me again.  Fuck, skin against skin.  Wrap my arms around him as he attacks my neck again and I run my hands over his back.  Feel his hard cock rub against mine as he grinds his hips against mine and I gasp in surprise and growing desire.  Jesus, I never knew this could be so good.

He kisses over my chest, sliding down my body and I card my fingers through his hair again as all coherent thought is lost.  No one has ever played my body this way and I swear the look in his eyes burns me down to my very soul.  With him, like this, there is nothing else.

Hot, wet mouth moving over my throbbing, hard cock and I can’t help but cry out as my hips arch upwards.  But it’s the look in his eyes that really drives me wild.  Want, need, desire, more….

Oh God, can’t think, not when his mouth is doing so many wonderful things to me.  Groan deeply as I feel his lightly calloused hands parting my legs and I tentatively follow his lead, spreading them wider.  Feel his tongue trace over my skin, hands massaging my thighs and somehow he always puts me at ease…even now.

I feel him start to lean over me and I already know what he needs.  Reach over my head to the nightstand and pull the lube from the drawer.  Press it into his hand and as he gazes down at me I remember the first time he introduced me to this kind of love.  D had never been very adventurous and I was terrified of doing the wrong thing with him.  But just as he did then he shows me the way and I know everything will be alright.

Reach up and run my hands over his pale chest, brushing my thumbs over his nipples and smile as I watch him shiver.  I still can’t believe he wants me so much.  Tilt my head as he kisses along my neck and run my fingers through his short hair again, moaning softly at his touch.  God, how can he do this to me again and again?

“Just relax, Kev,” he tells me, soft against my ear and now it’s my turn to shiver at the huskiness in his voice.  I feel his slick fingers, probing between my legs and as I hear him whisper my name again I open myself up completely to him. 

“Yes, June, please…” I murmur to him softly as I finally feel his fingers sliding inside me, stretching me in ways I’ve never known.  It’s foreign, but not painful and I pull him into another hot kiss as I arch my hips into his hand.  Groan into his mouth, my tongue twining with his as his fingers do untold things to me, curling and twisting inside.  It’s strange, it’s different, but one look into his eyes and I know I want it.

Lose myself to his kiss and his hands, the way he knows me and the soothing comfort he brings until finally he’s staring down at me again.  I can feel him, hard between my legs, and I know he’s giving me the chance to back out.  But I don’t want to.  I want to feel him the way he does me. 

“Kev…” his voice is rough and strained with held back desire and I reach up to trace his face with my hands.  I want him to make it all go away.  I want him to be the soothing balm for my broken heart and don’t even hesitate.

“I want you, June.  Don’t hold back,” I whisper as a see a tremor run through his body.  “I need you, please,” and I can hear my own voice waver even as he nods as starts to slowly push his hips forward. 

Stretch, slight pain, sliding, dear god an amazing feeling of fullness and I see him shaking with the effort to hold back.  But as my body starts to adjust to the feel of him I realize that’s not what I want.  Flashes of memory in my mind, moaning, grunting, pounding and I want them to all go away.  I want my salvation.  God, I wanna be fucked.

Reach up, hands on his shoulders and I rock my hips up to meet his slow thrust, trying to wordlessly show him I want more.  And as he has from the very beginning he reads me completely.  I feel him pull back and then push forward a little harder, deeper and suddenly I’m stifling a scream at a bolt of pleasure that I don’t expect.  Mother fucker, is this what makes him scream when I do this?  “Oh godddddd,” I groan as I cling to tighter to his shoulders, my nails starting to bite his skin.

“Yeah, Kev, oh hell yeah,” he moans back at me, his accent so thick it makes me shiver even more.  Suddenly all I feel is him and the sharp sparks of ecstasy he’s sending through me with every pounding thrust.  Then, just when I didn’t think I could take anymore I feel his hand around me, stroking my hard cock and all I can do is scream as I writhe in desire.  “Fuck yes, Kev, wanted this so long.”

His words are almost lost to me, as far gone as I am, and I reach up to pull him in for another kiss, needing, wanting the connection.  Can’t hold out, the fire’s consuming me, and after another moment I’m breaking the kiss and wailing his name.  Hold tight to his arms as I shudder and I feel him thrust sharply into me a few more times before once again my name is on his lips.  Then he’s kissing me all over and I just melt into the comfort of his touch.

Slight discomfort as he slowly pulls from me but then he’s crushing me to his chest and I don’t even try to resist.  Curl around him, my arm around his waist and one leg thrown over his as I try to get as close as possible.  He continues to place soft kisses in my hair and then he finally murmurs words I never expected to hear.

“God, I love you, Kev.”

And for the first time since all of this started I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.  Press my face to his neck and kiss the skin of his faded scar and try to convey my feelings with actions if not words because…I don’t even know what to say.

He’s my best friend, my closest confidant, and someone who’s shown me more understanding than I’ve had in years.  He knows me in a way I think only another man, another racer, can and I adore him for it.  God, I can’t even imagine my world without him. 

So why do I have the nagging feeling I’m no better than her?

Shake my head slightly at this thought and kiss along Dale’s jaw.  It’s not the same.  I have feelings for Junior.  I want to be with him.  Hell, I can’t get him out of my mind.  I’ll love him.  I’m sure of it.  I just have to let her go.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com