Tarnished Hero

Home : Stories by Catw00man : The Chase Series : Tarnished Hero

Summary: He can’t stand to see her cry.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
SERIES: The Chase Series (Sequel to Betrayal - DeLana’s fic)
CHARACTER: Jeff Gordon/DeLana Harvick, Kevin Harvick/Dale Earnhardt Jr implied, Jeff POV
CATEGORY: General/Romance/Angst
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #31 (#6 for me) - Hairbrush; 10_per_genre - #10 Holding Out for a Hero
COMPLETED: February 24, 2007
WORD COUNT: 1,396
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
DEDICATION: To Heather my beta who always takes care of me. Thank you sweetie, your help means so much to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok, so I guess D is gonna get her series and apparently she wants it to be inspired by Evanescense. Yup, she’s got a song for this one too. This time it’s Hello by Evanescence and you can click the link if you want to see the inspiration.
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: This takes place the Sunday after the second race of The Chase 2005 when Kevin Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jeff Gordon all missed The Chase.
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Chase Race #2 - Dover International Speedway: September 25th, 2005

So Jimmie won the race, barely holding off the Shrub, and took the points lead.  The Rookie and the Chaser finishing first and second while the Champion crashes out a little more than two thirds through the race.  My teammates…showing me up once again.

It’s no wonder I need a little comfort.

Muted sounds of haulers and buses leaving filter through the thin walls of the motor coach and I know even my own must be gone by now.  My driver knows I never hang around for long once the race is over.  I just head back to get cleaned up and change clothes.  Honestly, I’m sure most people who know me at all have assumed I’m halfway back to North Carolina by now.  But I’m not…even though I probably should be.

My eyes trail over to the closed bathroom door as I stretch out across the bed and part of me can’t believe I’m still here.  I never dreamed I’d miss the Chase, much less take solace with another man’s wife in another man’s bed.  But I’m here…and as I hear the shower start up, part of me thinks this is where I need to be…at least for now.

Close my eyes and roll over onto my back as the muffled sounds of the shower fill the small room and remind me of rain.  I always did like to lie in bed and listen to the sweet sound of the rain, especially at the track.  The sound of rain showers pounding the roof of a motor coach always made it seem more real, more…personal, somehow.  If that even makes sense….

I sigh and rub at my eyes when I finally force myself to remember that it’s not the lulling sounds of the rain I hear.  No, it’s her, taking a shower, and I can’t help but wonder if this is just a nightly ritual or if she’s trying to erase all traces of me.  Maybe it’s a little bit of both…not that would I blame her.  I don’t belong here.  We both know that.  So why do I feel like I’m the one that’s trying to make sure she’s still breathing?

Force myself to focus on the soft rushing sounds of the water and relax as my mind starts to drift and I think about the last two weeks and how improbable it all was.  It really was just a matter of chance that caused me to end up here and I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been the one to find her.  Would she have someone else warming her bed?  Or would she be all alone?

I roll over to my side as a frown mars my face and reach for the pillow at my side.  Wrap my arms around it and I smell the faint scent of vanilla as I look back to the closed bathroom door and remember how I almost literally ran into her in Richmond.  I didn’t expect anyone to be “hiding” behind my coach and when I saw her, with her arms wrapped tight around herself, I didn’t even say anything at first.  The look on her face made me stop short and it only took a moment for me to understand the devastation reflected in her eyes.  I paused only a few feet behind her and as I followed her gaze….

I saw them.

And it suddenly all made sense.

There was nothing explicit between them.  They weren’t mauling each other in public or causing a scene…but they might as well have been.  The chemistry between them was so blatant, just like it always was, and the look of desire in their eyes left no room for question.  I knew in an instant the long time flirting between them was over the moment I saw Junior tug at the sleeve of his firesuit.  I wish I could say I was surprised when Kevin followed him inside Dale’s motor coach.  But I wasn’t.  And it took me almost a full minute before I realized she wasn’t even breathing.

The water cuts off as I remember tentatively moving closer to her, my hand lightly brushing against her back.  I swear she almost jumped out of her skin as she finally sucked in a breath and turned to me with damp, heart broken eyes.  I wasn’t even sure what to do.  But I couldn’t stand to see her cry.  So I asked if she wanted some company.  After a long moment she invited me to her coach for a drink that soon turned into dinner.  We talked until long after sunset and I knew in my heart she was waiting, stalling, hoping for her tarnished hero to come home.

But he never did.

At least not that I know of.  No, we followed dinner with one of Richard’s bottles of wine, drinking and talking until there was really no small talk left to be said.  The silence stretched out between us as I finished my glass and I was certain she was going to throw me out, and I didn’t want to make it come to that.  I didn’t belong here and we both knew it…so I tried to do the right thing.  I tried to leave. 

I got up, reaching for my hat on the table to head for the door when she covered my hand with her own.  Surprise can’t even begin to describe the way I felt.  But it wasn’t right.  I knew it and I tried to pull away.  But she didn’t let go.  And when I finally turned my eyes to hers…I couldn’t pull away.

I can hear her moving around in the bathroom and I remember how everything that came next felt just like a dream.  She asked me to stay.  She asked me to hold her.  And when she pressed her lips to mine…I couldn’t say no.  The truth was, she wasn’t the only one hurting that weekend.  I’d failed completely for the first time in my life and on the most public of stages.  So I gave in…we both did.

I look up as I hear the door open and watch her as she comes quietly back into the room, terry cloth robe wrapped around her.  Her eyes briefly meet mine as she moves over to the dresser and I can see her silent pain that she won’t admit even when I hold her.  No, she tries to hide it, to live the lie, even as she turns to me for comfort again and again.

And I’ll give it to her.

She faces the mirror as I slide across the bed, dressed in only my boxers.  I push slowly to my feet and move over to her, resting my hands lightly on her hips as I lean closer to her, silently trying to give her strength.  She doesn’t react at first but after a moment I feel her start to relax and I lean closer, speaking soft at her ear.

“Hello, beautiful.”

I can see the smallest of smiles pass across her lips in her reflection and it warms me inside.  I think right now I’d do about anything to make sure she doesn’t cry.  She’s only cried once and…I never want to see it again.  I look around her to the dresser and I spot her hairbrush.  Then I lean around her and take it in my hands.  Her eyes meet mine in the mirror as I look over her shoulder and after holding her gaze for a moment I begin to slowly run the brush through her hair.

“Thank you, Jeff,” she whispers softly and I just nod to her as I continue to gently work the tangles from her damp hair.  She always uses my name.  I’m beginning to think it’s to remind herself who she’s with…and who she’s not.  She still wants her hero to come back home and I know that’s not something I’ll ever be.  But before long it will be my arms she’ll crawl back into, even if we don’t sleep.  It will be me she will lose herself to just as I lose myself to her.

And we’ll take solace in each other for as long as it takes, even as we silently remind each other of all that’s left of yesterday.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com