Echoes of Paris

Home : Stories by Catw00man : The Storm Series : Echoes of Paris

Summary: Even a continent away he can’t escape the past.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: NC-17
SERIES: Storm Series
CHARACTER: Jeff Gordon/Dale Earnhardt Jr, Jeff POV
CATEGORY: Romance
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #112-3 (#85-6 for me) - Eidetic & Swank
COMPLETED: September 22, 2008
WORD COUNT: 7,918
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
DEDICATION: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICK!!!!!! (Sorry this is later than it should be!! ;) )
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Zippit for the awesome beta on this.
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: Ok so this thing has already kinda gone AU, since in the first fic I had Jeff win the Championship in ’04.  Also, he made the trip to Paris with Jimmie for the ROC race.  *shrugs*  Oh well, my fic, my rules, right?  Anyway, these boys really do ove to babble...who am I to say no?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mooresville, NC: Jan 9th, 2005

I can’t believe I’m still here, or more accurately, I can’t believe he still wants me here.  Glance down at him as I rock the porch swing slowly and smile at the sight of him, eyes closed with his head in my lap.  Thread my fingers through his long curls as he tugs the blanket tighter around us and I have to admit, never in a million years did I imagine anything like this when he invited me back here.  For weeks, I thought this was about nothing but hot, amazing, sweaty sex.  But it’s more now.  I don’t know what it is, but it’s more.  He showed me the day we went fishing and I know I’ll cherish the memories of that night the rest of my life.

Feel him snuggle closer to me as I continue to stroke his hair and I still can’t get over how different he is.  Different from what I expected, there’s no question, but different in so many other ways too.  Take sitting out here on his front porch.  This is something…he never would’ve done.  Someone could see us, even though the house is completely isolated he’d never take that kind of a chance.  He was too worried about the rest of the world while Dale…Dale’s only worried about me.

Dale’s shared his friends and his family with me without batting an eye.  He even let them know about us, and I’m still having a hard time processing it.  After all this time, I hardly even know Jimmie’s family, and it was a rare occasion I was invited to hang out with his friends.  There was too much of a chance we--more likely I--could slip up and do something to make them figure it out.  It was a risk he wouldn’t take.  Looking back on it, I wonder if we weren’t teammates if he’d have ever been with me at all.  Probably not. 

Times like this I wish he’d never singled me out in the first place because I know our whole meeting was by his design.  I still won’t believe the rest was because…I can’t.  We shared too much and I still won’t believe it wasn’t real…even after what he did.  We weren’t right for him anymore.  He couldn’t let go and just be with me.  He sure as hell never tried to look out for me the way Dale has.  Maybe he couldn’t, or maybe he wouldn’t but either way it doesn’t matter anymore.  He made his choice.  And now I’m making mine.

Watch a slow contented smile spread over Dale’s face as I twist one of his messy curls around my finger before stroking his hair again.  Dale is like no one I’ve ever known, much less been with.  He’s opened up to everything I’ve shown him and shown me more than I thought possible in return.  I still can’t believe he’s so uncaring about being close to me around people.  Granted they are people he trusts, but still there have been times when we’ve gone to town I’ve had to gently pull away from his touch.  And the way he looks at me….

It’s indescribable.

I can remember so many times I couldn’t even look at Jimmie in the garage because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide the feelings in my eyes.  Paris was like that.  Paris was…a lot of things I still don’t want to face.  But I’m going to have to.  The season is starting soon and I can’t keep hiding.  I wish there was a way to pause time right here, right now, so I could keep this moment forever.  But I know better.  God, do I know better.

Hear Dale make a soft content sound as he shifts his head against my leg to get more comfortable and he doesn’t even open his eyes.  Trail my fingertips down the side of his face and swipe my thumb across his lips causing them to part slightly and suck at my thumb before a smile crosses his face again.  Everything is so real with him, so right.  If he opened his eyes right now I know exactly what I’d see.   Blue eyes filled with emotion, so unlike the cold brown eyes I saw in Paris.

Paris….

God, why did we have to have Paris?

Lean back on the swing a little more and start it rocking slightly again.  Tilt my head back and close my eyes against the memories I wish I could erase but I know I never will.  I was an idiot.  I knew the wedding was coming.  But right up until the end he made me believe.  Part of me hates him for that, but then part of me--a very small part I don’t want to admit--wants to thank him for five of the most perfect days….

I remember the late night flight to Paris and how I almost saw through him.  We should’ve been trying to get a few hours of sleep, God knows we needed it after the banquet.  But I couldn’t sleep, not when I was starting to see what was really happening.  In that moment, I wanted to break down and cry and punch him in the face all at the same time.  But then he looked at me, met my eyes, and in an instant I knew he knew what I was thinking.  But before I could confront him, before I could get a handle on the maelstrom of emotions flooding through me he leaned forward, took my face in his hands, and kissed me…not caring about who was close by.

Open my eyes and stare up at the wooden beams of the porch, counting each and every board as I remember the shock I felt at his actions.  Jimmie didn’t do that.  He didn’t take risks and he sure as hell didn’t kiss me when pilots were within shouting distance and people were sleeping around us.  I got so fucking lost in the kiss, and in him, and when he pulled back and ran his hand down my face without a word I knew I couldn’t doubt him.  I was his.  Then when he pulled me into his arms I fell asleep easily, as if nothing else in the world mattered.  For a few hours, maybe it didn’t.

 I was so ready, so willing to believe anything he did I didn’t question him.  And when he wasn’t even annoyed when we landed and my head was still on his shoulder I remember thinking things were different.  Everything was so rushed, so hurried during the Race of Champions races I didn’t even have time to think.  Neither one of us did very well in the races, but it didn’t matter.  The only thing that did was when he unlocked the door connecting our suites and met my eyes.  I remember standing there for the longest time, looking into his eyes, until he came to me, taking me in his arms. And I was lost.  For five damn days I was lost.

Inadvertently curl my fingers in Dale’s hair and I have to force my hand to relax.  Trace my thumb along his temple and see his eyes are still closed, his breathing slow.  Is he asleep?  Part of me hopes he is because I don’t want him to know I’m thinking about Jimmie.  I shouldn’t be.  I should push it all into the back of my mind, lock it up and throw away the key.  I should…but I need to face it.  I’m going to see him soon and if I’m not ready….

Sigh softly and close my eyes again as the memories assault my mind.  We hardly left the suite for five whole days--we didn’t need to--everything we needed was right there.  It was the longest time we’d ever been able to spend with each other and I’d never known such happiness.   There was no world outside of that gilded Paris suite and somehow he made me believe it would go on forever.  He could do that.  He could always make me believe.  But that wasn’t the worst part.  The worst part was….

His eyes.

In three long years, he’d never looked at me the way he did in Paris.  He loved me.  I know he did.  I could see it in those beautiful, bottomless, brown eyes.  So much life, so much love, and all of it for me.  I was complete.  I was right and it was never going to end.  I remember thinking  finally, finally I could be myself and really love him.  Finally I wouldn’t have to hold so much back for fear of being criticized or scorned.  I believed in the dream he weaved around us both.  I couldn’t have been more of a fool.

Swallow hard when I remember checking out of the beautiful hotel.  I can see the intricately carved marble statues, the way the sun light sparkled as it filtered through the stained glass windows.  I remember watching him, my eyes completely open and exposing all the love in my heart.  I gave him everything and for once I was getting everything back in return.  I remember standing there, waiting for him to turn towards me so I could look into those deep, brown eyes and for once see my love reflected back at me.  I’d waited so long.  So fucking long.  But when he did look at me I swear my world came apart at the seams.

Indifference.

All I saw in his beautiful, amber eyes was indifference.  No emotion.  Not even a hint of the deep devotion he showed me for days.  Nothing.  It was as if everything we shared had never happened at all.  He looked at me like I was a stranger, an acquaintance, and I couldn’t even say a word.  Is that how he’ll look at me when I see him back at the shop?  Is that what we are now?  Acquaintances?  Teammates?  Maybe friends?  Is that what we’ve become?

“Stop it.”

I jump slightly at his firmly spoken words.  He’s awake?  Open my eyes and look down into the most perfect sky blue eyes…that don’t look happy. Shit. What’ve I done? Why is he looking at me with irritation written so clearly on his face? I watch as he slips one of his arms from under the blanket and reaches up to run his fingertips across my brow. I stare into his eyes, getting lost in his touch for a moment, before asking softly, “What?”

He frowns a little more as he trails his fingers down the side of my face and says, “You’re brooding. I can damn near hear it.” He reaches up and brushes his fingertips lightly across my brow again. “You always get this one crease…” and he traces the frown line as he continues, “…right here when you’re upset.”

I look at him in wonder at how he knows me so well. No one else has ever cared to notice all the minute details he sees. I watch as he lets one foot slip to the ground to steady the swing as he sits up to stare into my eyes.

“Stop it,” he says quietly as he leans forward and presses his lips to mine in the softest of kisses. And for the millionth time this month I’m lost. I’m lost in the touch, in the taste that’s him and no one else. I feel his lightly stubbled skin against mine and I lean into him, deepening the kiss as I reach one hand up to trace across his neck, pulling him closer as his tongue duels with mine. I feel his hand slip underneath my jacket and shirt, sliding along the side of my waist as he pulls me to him and I wonder if he even realizes what he does to me. He’s made me feel so damn much…and it’s only been a month.

He breaks the kiss and pulls back, staring deeply into my eyes, and I wonder what he sees. Does he see what he means to me? Can he see the complete devotion for him in my eyes? We’ve never been much for deep words between us--me because I’ve spent too much time learning to hold things inside. Him because…well I don’t know. I just hope he understands, hope he knows.

Slowly slide my hand from behind his neck, trailing it across his skin before resting it on his cheek. Lightly run my thumb across his cheekbone and smile as he closes his eyes, leaning into my hand. How did things get so easy so fast? God, I don’t want to lose this.  I don’t ever want to see those eyes change. Smile at him as I think about his words, and ask softly, “How do you know me so well?”

I watch as his eyes slowly open to meet mine again and the sly, crooked grin that always makes me melt crosses his face as he replies, “Easy. I pay attention.”

And that’s it. He pays attention to me like no one else in my life ever has. He acts like he wants to know everything about me…every detail, every tiny little thing that makes me, me. But I’m no different. Sometimes I feel like I could watch him for days on end and never tire of seeing what he’ll do next. There’s nothing about him I don’t want to know, and he doesn’t hold back a thing. He’s an open book, letting me into his life so totally and completely it overwhelms me at times and, I swear, makes me have to catch my breath.

He grins at me again, leans forward to nuzzle my neck and places soft kisses against my skin. I close my eyes to his touch, still amazed at how comfortable and perfect things are with him, when I hear him murmur in my ear, “You cold?”

“Yeah, a little,” I tell him as I rub the back of his neck with my hand.  “Wanna go inside and warm up?”

He leans back and flashes me his purely Earnhardt grin as he stands and reaches out a hand to me. I let him pull me up and run my thumb over the back of his hand.  He lingers for a moment before letting my hand go and moving to the door, pausing only to pick the blanket up from the swing.  There are so many moments like this with him and I swear I want to memorize them all.

Follow him inside and watch as he tosses the blanket on a table by the door, then looks back to me asking simply, “You hungry?”

Thoughts other than food run briefly through my mind as I admire the way he looks in his jeans, but I push them aside for the moment and reply, “Yeah, I could eat.” Then I follow him into his small kitchen, pulling off my jacket and putting it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs before sitting down. I watch him as he moves over to the stainless steel refrigerator and marvel again at how easy things have become between us. What I thought could end up being strange or awkward after the night in St. Bart’s never did, and I swear it feels like we’ve been together forever. How did I ever get so lucky?

“Pepperoni or sausage?” he calls over his shoulder as he looks into the freezer and I smile. Guess it’s pizza again tonight, not that I mind. Who knew I’d find more happiness eating frozen pizzas and drinking beer with him, then I did at all those fancy parties I used to try and lose myself in?

“Pepperoni,” I call back, and watch as he nods before pulling out the boxed pizza and turning on the oven. As I watch him I can’t help but think about how much this feels like home, and it surprises me. I honestly never thought I could be happy somewhere like this, so simple and easy. I thought I needed the glitz and glamour of the big city to be whole--somewhere I could lose myself, like the blur of neon lights or crush of sun-drenched streets. I thought I had to have the ritzy lifestyle that came with fame and money--none of which ever made me whole. I thought money bought everything.

But here, with him, everything’s different. I didn’t get it at first, though. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to live in a place so isolated, in a town full of nothing but racing. How could he get away from it all? Why didn’t he want more? It’s not like he couldn’t have anything he desired, so why not have it all? But he showed me “having it all” means nothing unless you’re happy. And he’s happy at home. And I’m happy with him.

For the first time in my life I’m actually dreading the start of the season, dreading leaving this comfortable way I’ve found with him. But I know as soon as February rolls around, things will have to change. I don’t even want to go down to Daytona testing because it’ll be the beginning of the end. Once the season starts he’ll have as many obligations as I do, if not more, and there won’t be much time for nights of beer and frozen pizza. I’ll have to spend more time in Charlotte, and I’m going to hate it. His home has so quickly become mine, so much more than New York, Florida, or even Indiana ever was. I thought I was happy in those places. But it was all image, or a means to an end. It wasn’t home.

 “Kelley wants to know if we wanna come over for dinner tomorrow night.”  Look over at him as he sets the temperature on the oven and then opens the refrigerator to pull out a couple beers.  Smile as he brings one over to me and I open it and take a drink before answering.

“Sounds good to me…she’s a much better cook than you.”

“Awww you would go there.”  Chuckle as he leans against the kitchen island behind him and shoots me a crooked grin.  “C’mon Gordon, we both know you could burn mac and cheese.”

Laugh at him and remember the conversation we had with his sister about what I actually didn’t cook in New York.  Neither one of them could believe I actually knew people who stored books in their ovens.  But that’s the way it is in New York.  Take out is king and no one wastes time cooking.  Grin at him and answer, “Yeah well, I never had much time to learn to cook…too busy winning.”

“That your excuse for everything?” he fires back and gives me a teasing grin again. 

“Sounds good, doesn’t it?”  Roll my beer bottle between my hands before taking another drink.  It’s funny.  I never drank much beer before.  It was all whiskey and cigarettes since Brooke left.  But right now, when was the last smoke I had?  Fishing?  Maybe when we were hanging out in his personal bar?  It’s crazy how much he’s changed me already.  Look up at him again and smile.  “So what do you wanna do tonight? TV, Playstation?  Pool?”

“You know there ain’t gonna be nothing good on TV. And there’s no point in Playstation unless you’re wanting to get your ass kicked again.”  He grins at me as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter and I can only shake my head.  He knows damn well I won the last match between us, granted he did win the four before….

“Yeah fine, you can have the virtual championships, I’ll stick to the real ones,” I tell him with a wink and lean my chair back on two legs.  I have to admit, it’s been fun having someone else who likes to play games as much as I do.  Jim--shake my head slightly at the thought.  No one I’ve been with for a long time ever took much interest.

“You better watch it, Jeff. I have a feeling this season’s gonna be a lot different from last year.”

“Is that so?” Drop my chair back down and polish off the rest of my beer before running my eyes over him again.  Press my hands on the table to push myself to my feet.  “You have a secret up your sleeve you’ve been hiding from me?”

“Didn’t you know? This is all just my way of trying to distract you. Thought I’d ‘take one for the team’ and find a way to break ‘Five Time’s’ concentration.”  He’s sitting there, smirking at me like an idiot with his legs spread wide and I can’t help but admire the view.  The funny thing is I know he doesn’t even realize the picture he paints, and that’s probably why the women drool over him.  He’s sexy as hell without even knowing it.

“Oh reeeeeally? But what if I turn it all against you and do some distracting of my own?” I ask as cross over to him and rest my hands on his knees.  Slide them up a little and squeeze his thighs, warming inside as I see those crystal blue eyes darken a shade.

“Ok, so maybe I didn’t think all this through….”

“You, jump into something without planning ahead?”  Run my hands a little higher and squeeze his thighs again, my thumbs tracing circles over the denim.  “You’re kidding,” I murmur low as I lean forward to brush my lips against his neck.

“Hey, at least I don’t have to think about things forever, calling lawyers and managers to make a decision.”  Smile against his skin and slide my hands all the way up his thighs.  Trace my thumbs over his crotch before pulling back and smiling at him.

“Nah, you just have Kelley care of you.”  He stills a moment at my words and for an instant I wonder if I said the wrong thing.  But that’s not annoyance or anger on his face.  It’s something else that’s causing him to give me a long, steady look.  Part my lips to ask what’s wrong but before I can he answers me.

“Can’t argue with that.” He runs his hands up my arms and pushes me back enough to slide off the counter so we’re face to face.  “But it’s not like you don’t have anyone,” he tells me slowly, pressing a kiss to my lips.  “You have me.” 

He slips past me to go put the pizza in the oven and for a moment all I can do is stare.  That’s the first time he’s said anything…quite like that.  Sure he’s talked about doing things in the future but you could say that to anyone.  This is the first time he’s said he was…mine.  Wet my lips as I watch him slide the pizza in and close the door and I don’t have a clue how to respond, and that’s the thing.  He doesn’t seem to be waiting for an answer.  More like he was just stating a fact and that in itself is spinning me for a loop.  He acts like it’s no big deal.

“I think I’d be better off with Kelley,” I deadpan and he turns around to shoot me a hard look, but his eyes give him away.  They’re filled with amusement as he reaches for one of his discarded bottle caps on the counter and flicks it at me.  I put up my hands in self defense as I start to laugh, “Heeeey, I’m kidding.  Besides….”  Smirk at him slowly as I continue, lowering my voice to more of a purr as I gaze into his eyes.  “You’re much cuter.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her that,” he tells me with a smile as he turns around to lean against the counter.  “I bet she’ll be real surprised you think so.”  The same slow grin I adore crosses his face and I can read the mischief in his eyes even before he speaks.  “She shouldn’t though, I’ve always been the better lookin’ one.”

He winks at me and I laugh because I know if Kelley could hear him she’d be smacking him in the side of his head.  I always knew the two of them had a close relationship, but hearing about it and seeing it firsthand are two different things, not to mention with anyone else he never acts this way.  It’s good to see him like this, so relaxed.  But I still can’t help from teasing him.  “You’re definitely not the modest one, that’ s for sure.”

“What can I say?  Comes with the territory?”  He shrugs and I know he’s full of it.  Even in his wildest party boy days he was still humble on the track and anytime he talked about his abilities.  To hear him tell it he thought he’d never leave the garage of his dad’s dealership.  But when he gets relaxed enough, and when he’s with people he really trusts he’ll let go like this.  I’m still in awe he’s put me on his exclusive list.  “As if you’re modest about anything,” he adds and I laugh at the knowing look he shoots me.

“Well, when you’re good you’re good,” I say as I cross over to him again, “Why hide it?”  Reach around either side of him to rest my hands on the edge of the counter, pinning him in as I press closer to him.

“So maybe that’s why you’re the one always getting booed.”

“Right, because I win too much. Guess I should stop trying…” I murmur against his neck before placing a soft kiss against his skin.  “Maybe more people would like me.”  Brush my cheek against his and I feel his hands slide up my arms.  “So...what’s your secret?”

“My devilish good looks?”

His soft, teasing voice against my ear makes me chuckle and I pull back to catch him giving me a sinful look.  “You’re not gonna catch me arguing with that,” I tell him as I move to meet his kiss halfway when I hear my cell phone ring.  Press my lips to his, lingering over the taste before pulling back slightly and sighing.  I don’t want to let the world in.  Not yet.

“It’s ok, Jeff.  I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”  Pull back a little more to find understanding blue eyes gazing at me and I give him another quick kiss on the lips before pulling back to go pull my phone from my jacket pocket.  Vaguely take notice of him heading to the fridge for more beers as I flip the phone open and answer reluctantly.

Make sure the conversation’s short and sweet and then toss my phone on the table as I shake my head.  “Damn it, it’s Robbie reminding me they’re having a meeting at the shop tomorrow,” I tell June as I turn back around to face him.  He’s got a beer in his hand and there’s another on the island I’m sure is for me.  “He wanted  to make sure I didn’t skip out, again.”  Move back towards him and watch as Junior doesn’t answer, just shifts on his feet and that’s when I remember we were supposed to go to dinner with Kelley tomorrow.  “Don’t worry, I’ll be back for dinner.  We can still meet up at Kelley’s.”

“I know,” he says bluntly and takes a long drink of his beer.  Did I do something wrong?  Take a hesitant step forward to grab my beer and open it, needing a drink.

“Dale...what is it?”  Practically hold my breath as I wait for his answer and I wrack my brain to figure out what I could’ve done to upset him because there’s no question he’s upset.  His shoulders have gotten tense and he passes the beer bottle back and forth between his hands.

“He’s going to be there isn’t he?”

It takes me a minute to figure out who he means.  Robbie?  Why would he have a problem with my crew ch--  And then it hits me.  “Oh, you mean, Jimmie?  Well, yeah I’m sure he will be. He is my teammate.”  Watch Dale’s hand clench tighter around his bottle and I start to pick at the label on mine.  “You’re not…you’re not worried about him are you?”

He shrugs at me and then moves past me, walking towards the living room and I turn to follow him, keeping a few paces behind.  Stop at the doorway as he crosses over to the grand “player” piano and watch, curious to see what he’s doing.  I’ve seen him turn it on several times over the weeks I’ve been here but I’ve never once seen him sit at it like he is now.  Watch as he sets his beer on the floor and then slowly plays one of the tunes I’ve heard many times.  I’ve seen him watch the piano play on its own before, but had no idea he actually knew how to play.  It makes me wonder if maybe this is why he has the player piano in the first place. 

Listen to the soft melody before I cross over to him, setting my beer down on the floor and reaching out to lightly rest my hands on his shoulders…and they’re tense.  Massage them lightly at first and then a little harder as he continues to play.  Could this all be about Jimmie?  Why does he even care about him?  Jimmie’s married.  It’s over.  He doesn’t need to worry and…why would he worry anyway?  It’s not like we’re…serious or anything, right?

“He’s my teammate, Dale.  I’m going to see him.  Besides…why do you even care?”  Continue to rub his shoulders until he shrugs them hard, throwing my hands off as he slams his hands down on the keys.  The mangled chords echo through the house and I pull my hands back, holding my ground but shifting on my feet.  I don’t want to piss him off but…I don’t want to play games either.  I feel disconnected and have ever since he walked away and I wonder if somehow we’ve finally reached the end.

“Is that what you think, Gordon?”  Flinch at the coldness of the words he says without even looking at me and all I can do is stare at the tight line of his shoulders.  I didn’t mean to piss him off.  I didn’t mean to pin him down.  I swore I wouldn’t, that I’d do anything to stay here but if he’s done…I’m not going to force him to stay with me.  I know he said I “have” him…but it’s all just words in the end.

“I dunno, Dale.  I just figured that when we got back to the track--

“That I’d throw you away like he did?” he snaps coldly and whips his head around to glare at me.  Cold, cold blue eyes bore through me and I take a step back when it feels like I’m hit with a physical force.  A shiver runs through me at his look and…he shouldn’t be saying this to me.  He doesn’t know a damn thing about Jimmie…except, he couldn’t be more right.

“Is that what you really think of me, Jeff?”  He slings his legs over the bench, stands and I don’t know he’s ever looked so…intimidating.  “I thought you got it.  I thought maybe, after all the time you’ve been here, you’d have figured out... I’M. NOT. HIM!”

“Dale, I--” Reach out, try to touch him but he jerks his arms away and I hear the heavy gold of his bracelet jingle.  God, how can I be such an idiot?  How could I assume?  He’s not Jimmie.  He’s not.

“Don’t.  Don’t fuck with me, Jeff.  I told you from day one--

“That you wouldn’t share,” I finish for him and reach out to grab him firmly, a hand on either of his biceps.  I’m no fool.  I know damn well he could deck me if he wanted but he’s not getting out of this without hearing me out.  “I’m an idiot, Dale, ok?  And you’re not sharing.  You’re not.  I promise you, you’re not sharing me with him.  And you won’t.”

Hold his gaze for what feels like an eternity and I don’t know if he’s going to throw me out or beat me senseless.  I’ll choose being knocked out if only he’ll let me stay.  “Dale…,” but I don’t get a chance to say anything else because in the next instant he’s kissing me so hard I can’t even breathe.

Grab at his arms, pulling him tight against me and then move into him, kissing him for all I’m worth.  I can taste the anger and frustration in his kiss and I want to make it all go away.  And I’m gonna try.  I don’t want to lose this, whatever it is with us.  I want him, not Jimmie, and I want him to know it.  Push him backwards as I run my hands down his sides, taking notice of nothing but him until I hear the clang of piano keys.  Break the kiss to met swirling blue eyes as he leans back over the bench with one hand on the piano to balance himself.

“You’re what I want, Dale.  You, not him.”  Reach up and take his face in my hands and force him to really look at me.  “He treated me like shit.  I never admitted it but I can tell you’ve seen it.  I didn’t want to get my hopes up or force you into something you didn’t want.  But I want to be here, nowhere else.  I want to be with you.”

I see a shift in his eyes but I don’t wait to see what it means.  I lean closer to kiss him again but then I feel his hands on me, pushing me back.  Blink at him in surprised and there’s that hard look again and just as before it chills me to the bone.

“Am I, Jeff?  Am I really?  You tell me I’m not sharing but….”  He looks towards the front door and I feel my stomach twist.  “You gonna tell me you weren’t thinkin’ about him, out there?”  He looks back and pins me down with his eyes and as much as I want to run and not ever have this conversation I know there’s no way I can.  He’d never give me a second chance.  He told me from day one how it was and I have to make him understand.

“Yeah, ok.  I was thinking about him….”  He starts to turn away but I don’t let him.  I grab his arm and he jerks it away hard but still looks at me again. “Dale, listen to me.  It’s not what you think.  It’s not.”

“Fine.”  His voice is hard, words sharp as his eyes bore into me and I know this is my one last chance even before he speaks again.  “Tell me.  Tell me exactly what it was.  Tell me why you’re thinking about him when you’re with me.”

“I was thinking about how I’m going to handle dealing with his sorry ass,” I snap as I clench my hands at my sides.  He’s not, he’s not going to take this away from me over nothing.  I won’t let him.  I can’t.  “Dale, listen to me.  I was thinking about what a fucking deceitful prick he is.  I was thinking about how he lied, how he used me, how he’s nothing but a piece of crap and I don’t want to have to look at his sorry ass practically every damn day.  I was thinking about how I don’t want all this to end when we go back to the track!”

My eyes go wide and my mouth snaps closed.  Shit, shit, shit I didn’t mean to say that.  I didn’t mean to pressure him.  I don’t think he wants to end this but, hell, I don’t know for sure.  What if he wants to cool things down in February?  What if I’ve just stuck my foot in it?  Watch his eyes widen slightly and I can’t stand it.  Say something.  God, Dale, please, say anything.

Hands on my arms and I’m suddenly jerked forward and kissed again, more desperate than before if that’s even possible.  Part my lips under his insistent tongue and wrap my arms tight around him.  I can’t let him go.  I won’t.  I don’t care what he says I won’t let him go.  I’ll make him understand.  I’ll do anything.

“Show me.”  His voice is rough and low at my ear and for a moment I don’t have a clue what he wants.  “Please, Jeff.  Show me it’s me.  Let me feel it...let me see.”

Pull back slightly and if I had any questions they’re all answered with one look in his eyes.  He was worried about Jimmie.  Maybe he always has been.  But he doesn’t need to be.  I’d never go back.  Not when I have everything I could ever want right here in front of me.  Nod to him slowly and reach out to caress his face.  “Alright, Dale.  I’ll give you anything you want.”  Reach out for his hand to lead him to some place more comfortable but he doesn’t budge.

“Here.  Right here, Jeff.”  Look back at him and then he tugs me closer, putting both of his hands on my hips.  “Ain’t wanna go anywhere.  Just want….”

“I told you, Dale…” I whisper against his lips before kissing them softly, “…anything you want.”  Feel him nod and then run my hands over his body.  I don’t exactly know how we’re going to do this but if he wants to stay here, I’m not arguing.  I’ll give him anything to make him believe in me.  Run my hands under his sweatshirt and then push it up slowly, pulling it over his head.  Drop it to the side and then place kisses across his chest.  The sun’s gone down since we’ve come inside and the only light in the room is the moonlight filtering through the windows and the light in the kitchen, both of which give his pale skin a glow that turns me inside out with want.  I can’t lose him.  I won’t.

Place a trail of kisses across his chest, stopping at his nipple to swirl my tongue over it.  Lean closer as I suck the tender flesh and hear a moan as he threads his fingers through my hair.  “Shiiiiit, Jeff,” he groans and smile as I nibble and suck at the pebbled nub.  Over the last month I’ve gotten the feeling he’s never been much for foreplay before--or maybe never was with anyone who was willing to give it--and I’ve been having fun making up for lost time…for as long as he’ll let me get away with it.  Kiss over to give his other nipple the same treatment but before I get too far he’s tugging at my sweater, trying to get it off.  “C’mon, Jeff…want you.”

To hear him beg has to be one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard.  Give him a sultry smile as I pull back, scraping his skin lightly with my teeth first, and then slowly tug my sweater over my head, dropping it into a heap with his.  Shiver when I feel his eyes running over me and step closer again when he tugs at my waist band.  Kiss down his neck slowly as I trail my hands down his sides and along the edge of his well worn jeans.  Undo the button and then lean even closer to murmur against his ear as I slide the zipper down.  “Turn around, Dale.  Turn around and I’ll show you everything.”

Move my hands to his hips to position him over the piano bench when he resists me again.  Look to meet his eyes and I can see him trying to form words.  “No, Jeff….”  He shifts slightly on his feet and I look at him curiously.  I thought he wanted to do this here.  Am I reading him wrong?  “I wanna see,” he finally manages to say and that’s when I understand.

Look him over and I can tell he’s waiting for me to tell him what to do.  Independent and stubborn as he is about most things there are still times he likes to be lead…especially in bed, and I can’t say I mind.  Wet my lips as I get an idea and kiss him softly.  “Push in the bench and then back up against the piano.”  There’s no room for argument in my words and I can feel him shiver under my touch.  He’s already so hot I can feel the desire radiating from him and I hope I can manage to take my time.  I get the feeling he wants something different…something memorable.  I can do memorable.

Kiss down his neck against as I push his jeans and boxers down, the scrape of the bench against the floor the only sound other than our heavy breathing.  Once his clothes hit the floor, I kick them to the side after he steps out of them and start to undo my own jeans.  Keep my eyes on him the whole time and I swear he’s transfixed on me and it makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world.  No one’s ever looked at me like this, like I hold the answers to everything and I still don’t know why he does it.  But I don’t care.  I just want to live up to that look and give him everything he wants and more.

Kick out of my jeans and then press against him, taking him in my arms and suck in a breath at the feel of bare skin on skin.  Slide my hands up and down his back, over his ass and grind my hips against his.  His moan when he feels our hard cocks rub against each other is music to my ears and I reach down to stoke us both.  Take a shuddery breath as a jolt of desire burns though me and I know I could get off with him just like this and be happy.  Stare deep into his eyes as I feel the passion building higher and higher and I don’t even have to ask to know he wants more.  He wants everything and he’s gonna get it.

Let him go and pull away from him long enough to rummage through our pile of clothes to find the lube one of us always keeps with us.  It’s easier to be prepared because moments like this can’t be recaptured.  Feel his hands run over my body as I stand and he takes the tube from me.  Another instant and I’m groaning at the feel of his strong hand sliding slick over my cock.  One look at the dark desire in his eyes and I can’t believe a month ago he’d never done this before.  Grab him and kiss him hard as I struggle to hold on to some semblance of control but it’s slipping…fast.

Back him up against the piano and there’s only one way this is gonna work.  I just hope he can handle it.  “Push yourself up on your hands and wrap your legs around me, Dale.”  My eyes are closed against his neck and for a moment I wonder if he’s still going to think this is a good idea.  We could always go over to the couch in the next room.  Pull back a little and open my eyes, intending on suggesting it when I hear the clang of mangled chords as he pushes himself up.  We probably should’ve put the cover down but right now I don’t care.  Reach down for his legs and grab him behind his thighs as I meet his eyes filled with burning desire and Earnhardt determination.  This is what he wants, this is what he’s going to get.

He jumps and I catch him, pulling his legs up around my waist and I don’t even wait for him to get situated.  I’m beyond waiting.  As soon as I get him high enough, I thrust forward and impale him all in one motion and our mingled cries mix with the sounds of the piano as he struggles for balance.  I swear I’ll never hear a piano again I don’t see his gorgeous body riding me hard, those eyes boring through me and turning me inside out.  He lunges for me and I meet his kiss halfway as I let go and thrust into him hard, each stoke punctuated by the random keys he manages to hit.

Somehow, someway we find a rhythm, making our own music as we continue to kiss, breaking for breath only when we can’t do anything but.  I can feel his arms are trembling but I don’t care.  Not now.  Not when all I want is him.  Slam into him harder, shifting the angle of my hips slightly and when he throws his head back and screams I know I’ve got him.  Slide a hand between us, letting him hold himself up and stroke him rapidly, running my thumb over his head with each upstroke in a way that has him trembling under me in no time.

I want to touch him, want to take his hand but there’s no way that’s happening this time so I meet his eyes instead, looking for and finding that connection  I can’t describe.  Stare into his eyes and as I have from the beginning I lay myself bare to him, hiding nothing and hoping he’ll believe me one more time.  Slam into him harder when I feel I’m getting close and squeeze him tighter in my hand.  I want him to be with me.  I want to feel him shatter around me.

“Believe in me” I whisper, the words slipping out unintended and I almost lose my rhythm when I realize what I’ve done.  Feel his legs tighten slightly around me and only then do I realize I’ve dropped my eyes.  Raise them again as I try to catch my breath and what I see makes me lose it almost immediately.

“Do…fuck, Jeff, I do,” he pants at me and I have to have more touch.  Lunge forward again, crashing my lips to his and he screams into my kiss.  Feel him shudder against me, feel his warm release over my hand and I slam into him a few more times.  The heavy chords of the piano echo with my scream as I lose it and wrap my arms around him.  Vaguely feel him slide down my body and then lean into him as he pulls me tighter.  Somewhere I hear a faint alarm and it realize it must be our pizza that’s probably completely burned by now.  But I don’t care. 

Lean a little more against him, savoring the feeling of being held and I close my eyes.  I don’t want to move.  I don’t want to do anything but be wrapped up in his arms.  I thought I was losing him.  I thought he’d never believe me but in his eyes I saw the truth.  He knows who I’m with.  He knows there is no shadow between us.  And there won’t be.  Somehow I’ll bring Mooresville with us when we leave. 

Somehow I’ll find away because here…nothing can touch us.  Not even Paris.

~~Fin~~

These authors spend lots of time to write these stories. If you took the time to read this PLEASE take the time to give them some feedback. Happy writers write more ;-)

Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com