Phoenix Star

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Summary: Some things are just meant to be.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: R
SERIES: Star Series
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick/Dale Earnhardt Jr, Clint Bowyer, Kevin POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #69 (#44 for me) - Confrontational
COMPLETED: November 11, 2007
WORD COUNT: 1,468
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place during Atlanta testing after Fallen Star. Kevin has told Dale about his conversation with Clint and things finally come to a head....
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Clint really should have known better than to incur the wrath of an Earnhardt.  But to be honest, I really don’t think that’s what he was trying to do.  He was trying to protect me, in his own way, but it only ended up exploding brilliantly across his face.  He really should have known better.  But God am I glad he didn’t…

Because there is nothing more magnificent in this world than Dale when he’s enraged.

The way his eyes flash and his jaw tightens.  How his spine suddenly goes straight and all his muscles go taut.  He radiates an aura when he’s that pissed and it’s always drawn me like irresistible pheromones that only I can sense.  Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I always used to provoke him.  To be honest I know it was.  It’s why I taunted him with the name “Pookie” just to rile him up and get him to take it out on me.  But then somehow my taunting became an endearment and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  But God I still missed that look on him.

This was different though.  This wasn’t the anger of being teased or annoyed or mocked.  This was deeper, more visceral, and something reserved for those few, very special people in his life.  This was the rage he feels when he’s protecting Kelley or his nieces from some great injustice.  This was the blinding inferno that rages when his Daddy’s memory is mocked or his legacy is stripped away.  This is the protective streak in him that makes him every bit the Intimidator his Daddy was and more.

And this was all for me.

I still have a hard time believing that.  But it’s true. And it’s as real as him punching Clint across the face.  I swear I’ll never look at Atlanta the same way.  We were there testing the new COT car when I walked in on them in the garage just in time to see Dale deck Shifty across the face.  Clint’s eyes were wide with undisguised fear in the face of his rage and I was completely at a loss.  I couldn’t understand what was happening…until I heard Dale’s words growled low.

"...you’ll take him over my dead body.  I lost him once to my own stupidity and I will never lose him again.  You were lucky enough to touch his fire for a moment but a moment is all you’ll ever have because I will never let him go.”

For an instant I wasn’t even sure what he was talking about, but when it finally sunk in it hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was for me.  That rage, that fire, that passion burning hotter than I’d ever seen…it was for me.  Dale doesn’t lose his temper easy but when he does he damn near burns the world down.  And that’s what he was doing.

For me.

He was doing the one thing I never, ever thought he would, the one thing I’d dreamed of from the very beginning.  He was fighting for me…and he wasn’t even doing it in private.  I watched in shock as the teams moved to separate them as he continued to glare and growl at Clint and all of a sudden something deep inside of me snapped.  Everything I didn’t think I could ever feel again all came flooding back in a sea of fire.

All this time I couldn’t believe him, I couldn’t trust him.  Clint had it all right before.  I wasn’t happy, even though we were together because I didn’t see how anything had changed.  Sure he wanted to be with me, but at what cost?  For how long?  So many words, so many promises that had no more substance than the wind.  Words mean nothing to me now.  Promises mean nothing as my ruined marriage can attest to.  But actions, true passionate action…that means the world.

No one and I mean no one has ever fought for me.  Not D, not Dale, not even Clint though he’d like to think differently.  I think somehow it was this that made me how I was.  I cheated.  I was a slut…because no one asked me to do otherwise.  D never asked me where I went or who I was with.  Dale never asked me to stay the night or be his one and only.  Only under the cover of sex did he tell me he’d skin me alive if anyone ever touched me.  But when someone did…he just looked the other way.  Not even Clint was any different as he let his own fear drive him away instead of standing by my side.  He just let me go like all the rest.

It really is a wonder how powerful men like Rick and RC can make an incident go away.  Somehow under their immense influence they can make the fact that Dale saw me and kissed me senseless in front of everyone completely inconsequential.  There was no media blitz or 20 questions.  Our bosses just directed the teams to get back to work, shot hard looks to the few media scum in attendance and told Junior not to make a habit of this.

To say I was stunned is an understatement.  But I only say that now that I’m looking back because then, I only had eyes for Dale.

It was almost comical how apologetic he was at first when I drug him away to the empty adjacent garage.  As if he had to apologize for anything.  I knew without asking what Shifty must have said.  I just never dreamt that Dale would actually fight for me.  Somehow in the span of a moment he shattered the glass wall I’d built around my heart.  And suddenly…nothing else mattered.

We were us again.

Hunger, fire and sharp tongues cut to the heart of the matter even as we stripped through our clothes to bare skin.  Somehow that’s the way it always was with us, connecting on every level possible all at once.  It was never, ever “just sex” with Dale.  It was always a meeting of the mind and body and heart.  Even if we were fighting we were laying ourselves bare and I didn’t know if I could ever find that level of honesty with him again.  We could connect with our bodies and even our hearts but something was still missing.

But not anymore.

I told him between kisses how all he’d ever had to do was ask me to stay and he told me as he tore my clothes off how he never wanted to change me.  He thought I was happy with my miserable wandering existence.  He never really realized how he changed me fundamentally the first time we even touched.  So much miscommunication and it all came pouring out, falling away with our discarded clothes as we found that fire that defined us had never left us at all.  The soul searing connection was every bit as strong as it ever was and for the first time….

I was really his.

I can’t even name how many times we “marked” or “claimed” each other in the past, but this was like nothing else before.  This time our claims weren’t made out of fear and insecurity.  This time we weren’t trying to hold onto something slipping from our grasp.  This time we were building a foundation.  This time it was a beginning and not an end.  And it was all us.

I had a chance to talk to Clint later, we both did, and I could see the change in the way he looked at Dale.  Shifty was always trying to look out for me and God knows I didn’t deserve him.  But he always told me he only wanted to see me happy.  Apparently even he could see the change because I could tell by the look in his eyes he’d not be trying to come between us again.

Not that he or anyone ever could again.

I swear a week ago that I didn’t think this could ever happen.  I can’t even express how I wracked my brain trying to think of a way.  But seeing him like that, seeing him take a stand for me like he never has for any other lover…I knew.  I knew that I never had to doubt again.

No one can touch us now.  I am his and he is mine and nothing else matters.  Not exes.  Not future wannabes.  He showed me something when we connected in that garage that finally let me know the real truth and healed my soul.

He loves me and me alone.

And I trust him with all that I am.

I love you my Adonis, more than my own life.

~Your Havoc.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com