Greater Rewards

Home : Stories by Catw00man : Greater Rewards

Summary: Sometimes life has greater rewards than we ever knew were possible.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: G
CHARACTER: Jeff Gordon, Ella Sofia Gordon, Jimmie Johnson implied, Jeff POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #89 (#64 for me) - Hot Seat
COMPLETED: March 1, 2008
WORD COUNT: 1,107
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I’ve missed this muse so much. I just glad to hear the Jeffy again and I just adore him with Ella!
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: Thanks to Zippit for the quick beta!
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Charlotte, North Carolina - March 1st, 2008

After the last two years, I never expected this season to go the way it has.  Not with their track record.  I guess part of me assumed the unstoppable juggernaut that is the 48 team would just continue to steamroll us all.  But I should have known better.  I’ve been in those shoes and I’ve walked that line.  I just wonder how he’ll fare when suddenly things aren’t as easy as before.  And I wish I could help.  But I know he’d never listen.  No more than I would have.  I should have seen it coming.  But I didn’t.

Junior was the one we all expected to be in the hot seat this year, and he was from the first lap of testing.  The media hounds were all over him, watching his every breath, and in typical Earnhardt fashion he took it all in stride.  He knew that they would be all over him until he won and he made a storybook ending of it all with wins the first two times out.  I know it’s still not a "points" win, but with him sitting fourth in the standings I think the world has forgiven him that one indiscretion.  No, the one they’re all starting to lock their eyes on is Jimmie, and it’s just going to get worse.

Look down at Ella paying with her teddy bear collection and smile.  I’ve been doing that a lot the last two years.  That’s why the fact the target could be squarely on me as well doesn’t even cross my mind.  The truth of it is I don’t care.  Let the rumors spin, they can’t touch me anymore. Not when I have the best team I’ve had in years and two beautiful girls to share it all with.

This weekend is Texas and I know I’ll be walking Ella around my car again, loving every minute of it.  She’s made me enjoy racing so much more than I have in a long time and all I want to do is make her and Ingrid proud.  Maybe that’s why I don’t feel the pressure of no wins this season hovering over me and why I could let it all go so easily and spend the off week on a beach with my girls.  Part of me wished Jimmie could have that too, but I know he’s just not ready yet.

From what I heard, he and Chad were burning up the tracks testing during our rare "time off."  Apparently, Chad’s got it into his head they’re behind and maybe on some level they are.  Though, I tend to doubt it.  I think it’s just the world catching up to them.  You can’t stay on top forever.  I know that better than anyone.

Slip out of my chair to sit on the floor with Ella and I feel like my face is cracking from my smile as she half crawls, half toddles over to me.  She’ll be walking on her own soon and I couldn’t be more proud.  She’s only nine months old and already she’s come so far.  Wrap her in my arms as hers go around my neck and kiss her sweet, little cheek.  She really does make me feel like I can do anything.  Maybe that’s  why I’ve stopped worrying about how much longer I’m going to race.  With her every moment is so precious I can’t ever think too far ahead, not when all I want to do is cherish every moment.

Hug my baby girl close as she curls up in my arms and as I look down at her I can’t imagine my world without her.  Was it really only a few years ago that I was just like Jimmie, running around town and doing whatever  I pleased?  Sure he has Chani in tow a lot of the time but still it’s the carefree lifestyle they lead.  That was me, riding high on success and fame for as long as I could remember.  And then it all changed and it was not easy to deal with.  But I guess it never is when you’re finally knocked off your pedestal.  Jimmie’s going through that now and I don’t envy him one bit.

Pick up one of Ella’s bears and make it dance for her until her beautiful blue eyes close and I feel her relaxing into my arms.  Set the bear aside and rock her slightly as she falls asleep.  How can he not want this?  How can anyone not want this?  I think after Ingrid and I got pregnant I really expected Jimmie and Chani to follow suit.  He always seemed to follow me in everything, I just figured this would be one more thing and that our little ones would end up growing up side by side.  But so far they haven’t been interested in kids and part of that makes me a little sad.

I bet he doesn’t even realize what he’s missing.  I bet he has no idea that when your little daughter holds tight to your hand that no race in the world can compare.  No, he’s still where I was years ago.  He’s still riding the wave that will eventually crash and leave him lost and wanting.  Success has a way of changing you, of making you expect it and think you’re so much more than you are.  I’ve seen it a million times and I’ve lived through it more than once.  I just hope once the whirlwind ends he’s not too lost.  I hope he can find the peace and love and happiness that I have.  But until he and Chani have a little one of their own….

I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me.  Either way I hope he doesn’t make my mistakes.  Fame can blind you and turn you into someone you never thought you’d be.  I like to think he’s too smart for that but only time will tell.  As for me, I’ve finally got everything I’ve ever wanted, even if I never do get that elusive number five.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com