Brothers in Arms

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Summary: The world’s his oyster, but is he ready?

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTER: Brad Keselowski, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Brad POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #159-161 (#136 for me & #5-6/24 for me 2nd run) - Babylon, Trump Card, Fool’s Paradise
COMPLETED: September 17, 2008
WORD COUNT: 2,587
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place after Brad won his first Cup race at Talladega and the boys go back to June’s “private” Whisky River to celebrate.
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Whisky River at DMA – Mooresville, NC – April 26, 2009

I’m really not like everyone else.  But I’ve known that pretty much all my life.  I was always the kid who was “too focused” and needed to learn to “just have fun.”  I can’t even count the times people told me that, not that I ever listened.  I knew what I wanted to do and going after it was the only thing that made me happy.  What’s wrong with knowing what you what and doing what it takes to get there?

No one in my family is like me.  No one is anywhere near as focused or dedicated to only one thing.  But maybe that’s why I’m the one who just won a Cup race and has the world at my fingertips, at least, that’s what some people are telling me.  Can’t say I really believe it.  But who knows?  A win is a win after all.  And that’s why I’m here in June’s western world to celebrate, even if I do feel a little like an outsider.

Lean against the porch railing as I sip my beer and look across the dirt road to the “hotel.”  I’ve already been invited up there tonight, twice, and I know damn well what goes on during these parties.  With the liquor flowing and easily accessible beds it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.  I’m sure TJ thinks I’m crazy for not celebrating up there, but is it wrong I’d feel more at home running laps on June’s cart track then living it up in the saloon?  Maybe everyone is right.  Maybe I am weird. 

Take a long swallow of Bud and shake my head.  If I’d spent the last five years chasing skirts around there’s no way I’d be where I am.  Brian is proof enough of that.  I am where am because I was focused, because I spent endless hours going over racing tapes and practicing in my head and on the track.  And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Feel a shove against my shoulder and grin when I’m grabbed by the back of my neck and pulled into a half hug.  He slings his arm over my shoulders and I give him a slight poke in the ribs.  Damn it’s good to make him proud.  He took one hell of a stand for me and I’m just glad I’ve been able to live up to his expectations. 

“Hell of a weekend, huh?”

Look over at him and I know my grin matches his.  I haven’t been able to wipe it off my face all night.  “Hell, yeah.”  Gaze at him another moment and I realize if anyone knows what it’s like to be in these shoes it’s him.  “It’s not going to be easy after this, is it?”

“Noooooooope.”  He continues to grin at me but there’s a knowing look in his eyes.  He’s been where I am when he had so much success his rookie year and I’ve seen the pressure on him to get it back.  Sure I’ve had pressure too, but one look at him tells me I really have no idea what’s coming.  I’m a Cup winner now and I’ll always have that to live up to.  Still….

“It feels damn good.”

“I know it does,” he says with a grin and nod as I take another sip of my beer.  He does know, and that’s part of the reason I don’t want to leave the situation I’m in.  I’ve been hoping for the 5 car, but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to be an option anymore.  Now I’m not sure what to do.  Watch the activity over at the “hotel” when it suddenly gets a little louder and he speaks again.  “Racing really does trump all, doesn’t it?”

Flinch at his words and tighten my hand around my beer.  Why does everyone always have to give me crap because I’m not jumping at the first chick who wants to spread her legs for me?  Yeah, racing trumps all.  It’s my life.  Why is that such an issue for every--ok, maybe not everyone.  There’s no teasing smirk on his face.  If anything he seems almost sympathetic.  That’s when I realize he wasn’t trying to give me shit, and the more I think about it, it’s not like he’s over there chasing girls either.  Actually, he never really does.  “Yeah, yeah it kinda does.”

“You know, you keep winning like this people are gonna start asking questions.”

Frown and tilt my head at him.  Questions?  What kind of questions?  Like where I’m going next year?  I wait for him to explain and when he doesn’t I give him a nudge.  “Whatcha mean?  It’s not like I haven’t done media before.  Ok, well, now it’s not.”

He chuckles and I’m sure it’s because I really was like a lost puppy after winning today.  I didn’t have a clue where I was supposed to go or what I was supposed to do.  Thankfully he stuck around long enough to point me in the right direction.

“You get important enough they’re gonna wanna know why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

“They…what?”  Blink and just stare at him because what the hell does my personal life, or lack thereof, have to do with anything?  I mean it’s not like he’s dating anyone eith--oooooh, now I get it.  He tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at me and I realize we probably are a lot more alike than I ever thought, though I’m not exactly sure why I never saw it before.  “You really think anyone will care about that?”

“Oh yeah, they will.  They’ll wanna know why you don’t show up with some chick on your arm and when you do they’ll crucify her and make your life even more hell.”  Shift uncomfortably and look away because that is the last thing I want to be dealing with right now.  Right now all I want is to focus on finding a Cup ride for next year and try to run down Kyle for the Nationwide Championship.

“That’s stupid.”  Reach up to rub my hand against my chin.  Bad enough we have to be perfect PR sponsor whores to fund our cars but I can deal with that.  We need the sponsors and if doing some goofy commercials makes it so I can run on the weekends it’s worth it.  But the media?  What right do they have to pry into my personal life?  “Why can’t they get it?  Why can’t they get that for some people maybe racing is more important than everything else?”

“Cause for most people it ain’t that way.”  Glance over to see him finish off his beer and watch as he very deliberately sets it on the porch railing in front of us.  “Daddy was that way.  Took him three tries to find someone who’d accept that.”   He scratches at his neck and I’m surprised when he continues.  His dad isn’t usually something he discusses with me.  “But there was no doubt about it, racing was first.”

Chug the rest of my beer and set my bottle beside his before finally chancing another glance at him.  Is he drunk?  That could explain him talking about stuff like this.  But one look at the steady blue eyes that meet mine let me know he’s not.  Hell he’s as stone cold sober and serious as I’ve ever seen him.  “Is that…is that why you’re on your own?  Cause of your dad?”

Bite my lip and almost want to take the words back the instant they slip off my tongue because June isn’t the most “sharing” kind of guy.  Especially about stuff like this.  Sure he can pour his heart out on video but that’s different.  That’s impersonal, detached, not like meeting a friend head on, eye to eye.  I shouldn’t push him, not when we should be celebrating.  But to my surprise he actually nods.

“Yeah, a little bit, maybe.”  He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck as he stares out at the hotel.  “Used to always think it was cause I never found the right girl an’ all, but now…I dunno.”  He shrugs again and I can’t take my eyes off him because he’s seriously saying everything I’ve thought myself.  “Be nice to have a son, you know?  Show him all the stuff I know, all the shit Daddy taught me.  But then I look at someone like Jeff and see him with Ella and how he’s changed and…I dunno.”

Watch him stare off into the night and there’s something about his voice that tells me he doesn’t exactly mean what everyone else would by saying that.  There’s something…off and I know I shouldn’t push it.  But somehow I can’t help myself and the words roll right off my tongue.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

He goes still at my words and I know I’ve over stepped my bounds.  Dammit Brad, when are you going to learn sometimes it’s better to keep your observations to yourself?  Bite my lip and rock on my feet because there’s no taking it back.  Try to think of something else to say but before I can he actually answers me.

“So what if I think it is?  That make me a bad person?”  He reaches out and twists his empty bottle around on the porch rail.  “I mean…it’s good for him, there’s no doubt about that.” 

He lowers his eyes, scuffing his foot on the ground, and I know there’s more.  I just don’t know if he’ll tell me.  Tighten my hand on the railing and after way too much silence goes by I prod him gently.  “But…?”

“But it ain’t me.”  He runs his fingers through his hair, still not facing at me and I identify with him more than he knows.  But before I can even try to tell him that he continues, almost as if he’s talking to himself.  “I couldn’t do it.  Wouldn’t even want to.  Hell, I like my damn life.  I like racin’ and stayin’ on the computer ‘til four a.m. if I want.  I like comin’ an goin’ as I please.  Sure it’d be nice to have someone but….”

His words drift off and I can’t help but finish it for him.  “You don’t wanna give up you to make someone else happy.”  He goes very, very still once again at my words and this time I’m certain I’ve over stepped my bounds.  He was venting, not asking the opinion of a rookie lucky enough to be invited into his private sanctuary.  He turns his head towards me and I brace myself for the admonishment that comes in the form of….

A smile.

What the hell?

“I knew I liked you for a reason, Keselowski.”  His lip curls up a bit more and even in the moonlit night sky I can see the smile reaches his eyes.  All I can do is stare dumbly at him and he chuckles at me.  “Relax, Brad.  What’d you think, I’d bite your head off?”

“I-hell I didn’t know!”  He laughs again and this time it brings a smile to my face.  He really does get it.  I do understand because I feel the same damn way!  People are always on me about why I don’t have a girlfriend, but who has the time?  My career is just starting.  His is just beginning to turn the way he wants it to. Why would we want to mess that up by giving up half of what makes us who we are?

He chuckles again and I can’t believe how lucky I am.  Everything still feels like a dream and I know I owe it all to the man standing next to me.  He pulled me out of obscurity and gave me a chance when no one else could.  He backed me when no one else would.  That’s why I don’t want this to change.  I’m happy here in his little circle, and I’m happy at JRM and HMS.  All I want now is for things to somehow work themselves out.

“You need to take the deal.”

Frown in confusion and turn to him again.  He’s got his eyes locked right on me and I glance away because I know I don’t want to see what’s in his eyes.  I don’t want to listen.   Stare over at the still noisy hotel and shift on my feet.  “What deal?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know Penske’s been talking to you since last year, Brad.  He’ll be back…and you should take it.”  His voice is soft and even, almost as if he’s trying to keep any and all emotion out of his voice.  Force myself to face him again and this time he’s the one staring off into the night.  He’s been more than just a car owner to me.  He brought me into his home then gave me a place on his land.  He’s made me part of his posse.  How can he think I’d bail on him?

“June, something’ll work out.  If not at JRM then maybe Rick’ll figure out something.  Maybe at Stewart-Haas…or something.”  Bite my lip because I know they want to keep me as much I want to stay.  Rick’s told me as much.  Hell, right now I think I can only talk to them exclusively or something.  I know they want me to stay, I just don’t know how I can….

“Brad,” he turns around completely and leans back against the porch railing, crossing his arms and looking as serious as I’ve ever seen him.  “You have to do what’s right for you, and when the time comes….  Take the deal.”

Shake my head and I won’t look directly at him.  Why does he have to bring this stuff up now?  I haven’t given up yet, why is he?  Does he want me to go?  I’ve worked hard building the Nationwide team and I don’t want to lose them.  “Junior, how can you say that?  After everything you’ve done for me, everything Rick’s done, you think I’d just bail on you and walk away?  The 88 team is like family to me.  I can’t up and walk out on you guys.”

“You have to.”  He makes it sound so simple and when I finally force myself to look at him I’m surprised at what I see.  He understands.  I see it written all over his face before he even says a word.  “You think I wanted to leave Daddy’s company?”  His face softens a little more.  “You gotta do what you gotta do.  When the time comes there will be a deal.  You’ll know when it’s right.  Take it.  No one’s gonna think anything less of you.”

“Even you?” I shoot back quickly, needing to know the answer to that more than anything else.

“I already think less of you for stealin’ TJ on Saturdays.”  He winks at me and then closes the distance between us to throw his arm around my shoulders.  “C’mon ‘Special K.’ You’re nowhere near drunk enough.  This is your victory party.”

Laugh and shake my head, happy to let him lead me back to the party.  I really don’t want to think anymore about the future right now, but deep down I know he’s right.  I wouldn’t let myself consider it before because I didn’t want to be the ungrateful jackass.  But since he understands….

Here’s hoping it works out for the best.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com