Know When to Hold ’em

Home : Stories by Catw00man : Bear on the Wall : Know When to Hold ’em

Summary: There’s no such thing as lucky bears.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
SERIES: Bear on the Wall: Conversations from the Garage and Beyond
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick, Brad Keselowski, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Clint Bowyer, Kevvie!Bear POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #146 (#121 for me) - Malevolence
COMPLETED: May 14, 2009
WORD COUNT: 766
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you’re enjoying this series you really need to check out Zippit’s K.D. Harvey Show. I’ve been betaing it and I swear I laughed so hard I almost cried. ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: If you haven’t seen Kevin’s episode of Cribs he has “his” part of the house in the split level basement called the “Man Cave.” This takes place Tuesday after Talledega where Brad won hs first Cup race.
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Harvick “Mansion” - Man Cave - April 28, 2009

“You sure you can afford this game, Harvick...with your luck?”

“Watch your mouth, Keselowski.  You’re lucky we even let you back in.”

“Someone’s getting cocky over a plate win.”

“What?  I was just doing what you taught me, June.”

“A little too damn well.”

“Guess I didn’t ‘wreck the field,’ huh?”

“You’re right.  The boy has gotten cocky.”

“You thinking we should teach him a lesson, Harvick?”

“Could take him down to Hee Haw and whup up on him a bit.”

“Are you guys crazy?  You can’t race carts in the rain!”

“Dammit.  More good luck.”

I’m sorry, Green Eyes.  I know I’m a bad luck bear now.  Is that why I don’t get to see the game?  I’ve been a good bear down here in your cave.  I just hope I don’t have to stay here.  It’s much nicer than a drawer, but I miss you and the Blondy Bitchy One.  At least I get to hang out in the shiny cup.  I guess that’s a good thing…right?

“Maybe we should make him go run in the rain, Kev.  They aren’t callin’ for lightening, right?”

“I’d watch that.”

“Hey!  C’mon guys, you can’t blame me.  I wasn’t expecting to win--”

“You little--”

“Better watch it, Brad.  I think Harvick here’s on his comma.”

“My WHAT?!?”

“Oh c’mon, living with DeLana you have to know all about it.”

“God Dammit, Earnhardt.  Why the hell do I invite you over?”

“To win his money again?”

“You have a point, Kid.  Ok, you can stay.”

“Hey!  I’m no push over, Harvick.”

“That’s what you always say and I always take your money.”

“Oh screw you, Kev.”

I think someone needs a brown bottle.  Better get him some, Green Eyes.  It sounds like Pissy Redhead is living up to his name.  Don’t need him throwing discs again.  It’s probably a good thing I’m over here.  I don’t wanna bring you bad luck again.  At least you’re talking again.  It’s not right when you’re all quiet.

“I’m already fuckin’ screwed, June.  New crew at Richmond, remember?  Should be spectacular.”

“Way to be positive, Harvick.”

“Shut up, Kid.  Do you want to end up in the rain?”

“Hey guys, did ya miss me?”

“About damn time, Bowyer.  Think you could keep us waiting a little longer?”

“Yeah, Junior still has his money.”

“Dammit, Brad.  Why do I bother putting you in a car again?”

“Oh I think you know.”

“So the Kid’s here, huh?  Cool, more money to win.  Hey Kev, why’s your little Buddy all the way over here?  He keeping your Busch trophy warm?”

Nooooooooooooo, no Cowboy.  Don’t bring me over!  I don’t wanna jinx him.  He’s mad at me.  I made Big Yellow sick.  I don’t wanna make him lose his discs too.  He’s really not happy.  No, Cowboy.  Don’t take me with youuuuuuuu.  I don’t wanna be a bad bear.  Put me back!  Put me back!

“No, such thing as good luck charms, Shifty.  So what’s your deal?  What took you so long to grace us with your presence?”

“Don’t get me started, Kev.  You’re lucky I even got out of bed after that ride back from Dega yesterday.”

“Awwww did running those eight laps kick your ass, Bowyer?”

“Kev, why are you still inviting, Earnhardt?  No, it’s called riding a damn Hog all the way home with a broke down back.”

“You’re the idiot that took the bike, and he invites me so I can take your money.”

“Why did you ride all the way down there anyway?”

“I’m still asking myself that, Brad.”

“We doing this or what?”

“Well someone’s a Mr. Pissypants.  Just for that the bear’s playing with me.  He brought me plenty of luck in Vegas.”

“After you lost all but your shirt.”

“How about you put your money where your mouth is, Harvick?”

“Either that or I’m gonna go see if DeLana has some Midol for you.”

“Nooooooooow I remember why we invite Earnhardt.”

“Oh shut up and ante.  You’re all going down.”

Poor Green Eyes.  They just don’t understand.  It’s hard to be happy when Big Yellow is sick and Imaginary Todd is leaving.  Don’t get your hopes up Cowboy, I’m not your bear.  Didn’t you hear Green Eyes?  There’s no such thing as lucky bears.  I hope that doesn’t mean I have to live down here in the cave now.  Cowboy…if I do…will you come visit me?  And will you tell Big Yellow to get well soon?  Thank you.  Sorry you’re gonna have to lose all your discs!

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com