Brown Bottles

Home : Stories by Catw00man : Bear on the Wall : Brown Bottles

Summary: It’s just not fair.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: R
SERIES: Bear on the Wall: Conversations from the Garage and Beyond
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick, Dale Earhnhardt Jr, DeLana Harvick, Kevvie!Bear POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #145 (#14/21 for me 2nd run) - Imbroglio
COMPLETED: May 12, 2009
WORD COUNT: 905
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you’re enjoying this series you really need to check out Zippit’s K.D. Harvey Show. I’ve been betaing it and I swear I laughed so hard I almost cried. ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: This takes place after Richard Childress told the boys they would be switching the 29 and 07 teams, crew chiefs and all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvick “Mansion” Balcony – Kernersville, NC – April 21, 2009

“It’s bullshit June.  It’s fucking bullshit.  It makes as much sense as…splitting up you and Tony Jr.”

“Haven’t you heard?  That’s supposed to be next on the list.”

“Yeah right.  That’s shit and you know it.  We all know damn well Rick would do anything to keep you happy.”

“It ain’t always that easy, Harvick.”

“Well he wouldn’t do it without telling you a damn thing.  I swear to God sometimes I wish RC would just go up on that fuckin’ mountain in Montana and never come down.”

“Kev-in.”

“What, D?  You know I’m right.  He goes up there and comes down thinking he’s fucking Moses or something.”

“I know, Kevin.  It’s not fair.  But I also know Richard’s just trying to make things better.  Especially after….”

“Yeah, yeah I know.  After I ran my mouth and called him out on the damn radio.”

“You did what?  What the hell did you say?”

“I told him he needed to fix this shit.  I didn’t know he’d go and take Todd and my whole fucking team away!”

“Are you serious?”

“Well it’s ridiculous, June.  If you knew the shit I’ve been driving….”

Green Eyes, I don’t understand.  Why is Imaginary Todd going away?  Big Yellow is sick.  How can he make him all better if he goes away?  Wait.  Are we going to lose Big Yellow too?!?  Green Eyes, fix it.  Big Yellow isn’t supposed to go so slow.  He needs to get better so everything can be right again.  Imaginary Todd can’t go away.  Who will you talk to in the Big Yellow?  We’ll be all aloooooooone!

“I’ve never understood all this crew swapping shit.  But at least they ain’t putting the blame all on you.”

“Little hard when I still know how to win on Saturday dontcha think?  Maybe that’s what you need to do June.  Get back in that 5 car of yours and show ‘em you still know how to win.”

“It’d never work.  I’d get crucified for not focusing on the Cup car.”

“That’s shit and you know it.  All running Nationwide does is make sure you ain’t bored on Saturday.  Not to mention you’d get to have a little fun.”

“I think after last weekend I’m not gonna be allowed any fun for awhile.  What the fuck’s up with your teammate anyway?”

“You tell me.  You pawned his worthless ass off on us.  Besides, don’t be too hard on him.  Idiot couldn’t even figure out how to use a condom.  How do you expect him to know how to drive?”

“Kevin, that’s wrong.”

“Hell, no it ain’t.  Pass me another beer, Harvick.”

“Catch.”

Careful, Green Eyes.  You don’t want the Pissy Redhead to miss again.  The Blonde Bitchy One might get mad.  We probably shouldn’t tell her Trembles the Wonder Rat cleaned it up.  At least I’m not getting knocked over this time.  I guess Pissy Redhead gets less mean when he drinks the brown bottles.  We should give him more!

“It’s still total bullshit.  Todd’s one of my closest fucking friends!  I don’t want to race without him.  Why the fuck couldn’t RC have even talked to us.  Now that piece of shit Mears is gonna tank Todd’s career….”

“How’s he taking it?”

“How do you think? 

“Kevin, it might not be that bad.”

“I don’t want to hear that right now, D.  This is the bitching zone.  Not the bitch zone.  You don’t like it, go inside.”

“Kevin!”

“D, please.”

“Alright.  I guess I need to find us something to eat, or are you boys planning on drinking all night?”

“My money’s on the Bud.”

“Knew I could count on you, June.”

“Fine.  C’mon LO.  And Kevin, don’t forget your bear.  It might rain tonight.”

Yes, please don’t forget me, Green Eyes.  I like being out here on the balcony with you and Pissy Redhead but I don’t wanna be out here all night.  It is good t be one of the guys though.  Did you see Pissy Redhead even patted me on the head without knocking me over!  I think he’s starting to like me. 

“Damn, you must be taking this hard.  I can’t believe she took that.”

“Oh shut up.”

“I’m serious.  I’m surprised she didn’t take your face off for that ‘bitch’ crack.”

“She doesn’t like it anymore than I do.  Todd introduced us, ya know?  We’ve always been close.  You know, it’s always better to win with people you care about.”

“Yeah, I do.  I miss that.”

“You’ll find it again, June.”

“You know something I don’t?”

“Nah, I’m just an eternal optimist, remember?”

“And one shitty liar.  I’m surprised you’re not down at that track of yours.”

“Neighbors get bitchy if I run at night too much.  I’ll be there bright and early, no doubt.”

“I believe it.  Give me a call sometime if you want some company, long as it’s not that hard core shit you guys get into.”

“You’re welcome to hang around if you want.  Could use that ‘chocolate room’ if you’re interested.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Don’t be sad, Green Eyes.  We’ll find a way to make Big Yellow better, and maybe then we can get Imaginary Todd back.  And I’ll do better.  I promise.  I’ll be a lucky bear again.  I’ll try really, really hard.  Just don’t give up on me!  I’m still a lucky bear.  I just know it!

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com