Bears and Their Toys

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Summary: Even a bear knows you don’t break your toys!

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG
SERIES: Bear on the Wall: Conversations from the Garage and Beyond
CHARACTER: Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kevin Harvick, DeLana Harvick, Kevvie!Bear POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #151 (#126 for me) - Higgledy-Piggledy
COMPLETED: June 16, 2009
WORD COUNT: 781
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you’re enjoying this series you really need to check out Zippit’s K.D. Harvey Show. I’ve been betaing it and I swear I laughed so hard I almost cried. ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: This all takes place in Pocono after the Nashville Nationwide race when Kyle Busch smashed the trophy guitar in Victory Lane. You knew we'd have to get the bear's take on it! LOL
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Harvick Motorcoach – Pocono Speedway - Pocono, PA – June 6, 2009

“Did that just happen?”

“Yeah, I think it did.”

“He did not just do that.”

“Are you fucking blind, Earnhardt?  He did.  You need me to rewind it for you?”

“Kevin, what’s--oh my God.”

“I think God’s long since stopped caring about what that little shit does, D.”

“I bet the other drivers care.”

“Kevin, is that the real….”

“Oh, yeah.  That’s the real one.”

“You know Brad wouldn’t put his down last year?  Guys said they have pictures of him sleeping with it on the plane.”

“I teased Shifty with mine.  Wouldn’t even let him touch it the whole flight back.”

“That can’t be the real one.  Not even Kyle would…”

“Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart but that was the real thing.  Gibson Les Paul.  Beat all to hell.”

Green Eyes, what happened?  Is Blonde Mommabear ok?  She doesn’t look ok.  Pissy Redhead, you forgot your brown bottle over here.  Don’t you need that?  Green Eyes, I’m confuuuuuused.  I can’t see on the couch with you all in the way.  What happened?  Green Eyes, let me seeeeeeeeee.

“Poor Sam Bass.”

“Do you really think he cares, D?  It’s his trophy.  He’s gonna do what he damn well pleases.  To hell with anyone else.”

“I can’t watch this anymore.”

“And here I used to think you were the ‘wild man.’”

“Oh, give it a rest, Earnhardt.”

“What happened to you?”

“Hell if I know.  Grew up and got a clue maybe?”

“You were a lot more entertaining when you were strangling Biffle.”

“And I was a lot less happy watching a Cup race from home too.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just sayin’.”

“Yeah, I know.  Things aren’t as wild as they used to be but…you really think this is the answer?”

“Heeeeeeeeell no.  There’s havin’ fun and then there’s showin’ respect.  Man if I ever did somethin’ like that Daddy woulda tore me up.”

“I might have paid to see that.”

“Hey!  Some friend you are.”

“Oh, c’mon.  Don’t get pissy.  Have a beer or something.”

See, Pissy Redhead!  I told you that you needed your beer.  It makes you less pissy.  Green Eyes knows it too.  I’m glad you came back.  I was still worried about you.  At least you aren’t as sad as before.  Heeeeey, is that the Rotten Candy Meanie on TV?  Why is he breaking his toys?  That’s not very nice.  Someone needs to tell him if you break your toys no one will buy you more.  Is that why everyone is upset?  They don’t like him breaking his toys?  It’s ok, Blonde Mommabear.  He’s not breaking our toys, right?

“Why am I here again?”

“Because you like to wallow in misery with someone who sucks worse than you do?”

“Least it’s a team effort of suckage over at RCR.”

“How the hell does that make it better?”

“I dunno, I’m starting to feel like the ‘special project’ at HMS with all people hovering over me.  It’s…weird.”

“Yeah, but at least it’s gotta feel like something’s happening.  Besides, I figured you ‘d like feeling ‘special.’”

“Not when it’s more like Special Ed!”

“Oh c’mon.  It can’t be that bad.”

“Dude, the old man is beating me!  That’s almost as bad if it were Mear--”

“Watch it, June.”

“Oh, umm…yeah….”

Pissy Redhead, DON’T mention the Brillo Head!  He is EVIL!  He took Imaginary Todd and made Big Yellow sick and he’s just a MEANIE!  We don’t like him.  Not at all.  He makes Green Eyes upset and when he’s upset Blonde Mommabear gets bitchy and it’s all bad.  You really don’t want to see that, Pissy Redhead, so be good!

“Sooooooo, you wanna try this UFC game?”

“Is that what you brought?  I thought Rock Band was the thing.”

“Harvick, where the hell have you been?  Does being married just make you permanently uncool?”

“I heard that!”

“You did it now.  Now she might not feed you.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing?”

“Better watch it.”

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon.  Let me get this game hooked up and I’ll see if I can try to make you coo’ again.”

“Ohhhh, how will I ever repay you?”

“By letting me kick your virtual ass.”

“Bring it on, Earnhardt, bring it on.”

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, everyone’s happy again!  I’m glad you came over Pissy Redhead.  Green Eyes needed the distraction.  You can ask Mommabear.  He doesn’t do good when it rains.  He doesn’t like being bored.  I hope Big Yellow and Green Energy are getting lots of rest today.  Maybe if they’re all rested up they’ll drag well and everyone will be even happier!  So, about this new game….

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com