Margaritaville Musings

Home : Stories by Catw00man : Bittersweet Miracles : Margaritaville Musings

Summary: Clint ponders Junior’s motivations.

AUTHOR: Catw00man
EMAIL: catw00man@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
SERIES: Bittersweet Miracles
CHARACTER: Clint Bowyer, Kevin Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Clint POV
COMPLETED: March 24, 2008
WORD COUNT: 1,673
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It’s not very often I get to do pieces with multiple characters and I hope you all enjoy this. I know I did!
AUTHOR'S NOTE2: Thanks to Zippit for the excellent beta!
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Preseason Testing - Fontana, California: January 31, 2008

I really thought Kev would have wanted to rest tonight, especially with all the flying he’s been doing.  But maybe that’s just me.  Though now that I think about it, he never seemed to have much trouble with  cross country flights when we both ran the full Busch series a couple years ago.  I know I’m gonna have to get used to that again for this season, and I know it’s not gonna be half as much fun without him.

He always was able to crash anywhere when he needed to sleep.  I was never so lucky.  I still remember a few late night flights I spent half the trip watching him sleep because I just couldn’t get comfortable.  Maybe he can still do that.  But I still would have thought he’d want to get some sleep in a real bed once practice was over.  Watch as he swirls his margarita and takes a long drink and then it hits me.  Maybe a bed is just too comfortable.  With all that has to be going through his head, maybe this makes more sense than I first thought.

“Seriously Earnhardt, try the margaritas.  They’re awesome.”  And strong as hell.  I remember from the last time Kev brought me here and we had to call Todd to come get our sorry drunk asses.  Gil came along too just to chew us both out, not that we cared.  California is still his home at heart and I know he loves this place.  Sure heard enough about it for before we finally got the chance to come out here.

“I will, I will.  Just let me finish my Bud first.  You know what they say about mixing…or are you trying to get me drunk?” Junior asks with that crooked grin of his.  I know what he’s doing.  He’s stalling with the beer so he doesn’t get as hammered as we’re gonna be.  He did the same thing the other night, drinking beer instead of the Jack me, Kev and Gordon shared.  Tilt my head and scratch the back of my ear as I watch them tease each other…or could there be another reason?

No one I know would do as much for a “friend” as Junior has for Kev.  Heck, most people wouldn’t do that much for family, no matter the situation.  Ok, maybe for a few weeks, but not for over a month.  Study Junior a little closer as they banter back and forth and I wonder if there’s more to this than just friendship.  And if there is….

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

“C’mon Shifty, you’re holding up the party,” Kev teases me and I stop pushing the leftover rice around my plate to look over to see he’s shaking his mostly empty glass at me. 

“Alright, alright.”  Take a long drink of my frozen margarita.  “I’m with ya.  No need to accuse me of a party foul.”  He nods and then turns to flag down the waitress for another round.

Watch him smile as a cute, little Mexican girl comes over and I bet anyone else would just think he’s another guy out having a good time with his buddies.  That smile of his can be blinding, and I’ve seen its effect on people more than once.  But I’ve spent a lot of time with him over the last few years and I can see what they don’t.  I can see the exhaustion on his face and that the smile doesn’t come close to meeting his eyes.  There’s an emptiness there that’s plain as day if you know him.  He’s going through the motions of having a good time, but I’m not buying it for a second.  Not when his body language tells a different story.

He orders the next round of frozen drinks and the “Happy Harvick” smile slides from his lips as she walks away.  He really is trying to have a good time, and I know it’s not for himself.  He’s doing it for us, and I really wish he wouldn’t worry about it.  We’re his friends.  Why wouldn’t we be there for him?  He doesn’t need to try and “pay us back.”

Lean back when a busboy comes by to clear my plate and I see that Kev’s eyes are transfixed on Junior’s iPhone and the webcam of the babies again.  He’s tried not to be obvious with it, but I know he can’t help himself.  I don’t blame him.  If they were my babies I’d be worried about them too.  I understand all of that, but it’s the look on his face that breaks my heart.

It surprised me the first time I saw him look at them that way because…I never thought I’d see that look again.  I imagine it must be how he looks when he’s with them in the hospital and part of me feels like I’m intruding just sitting here.  His whole face changes in moments like these and it’s just so…intimate, and something I only saw on the rarest of occasions and only with DeLana.

Most people never understood them at all, the way they picked on each other so much and fought without caring who was watching.  They always knew exactly how to push the other’s buttons and could irritate each other more than anyone else I’ve ever seen.  Most people never saw beyond the sarcasm,  the teasing and mocking insults.  They thought that’s how they always were and, ok, maybe most of the time they were.  They were comfortable with each other in a way so few couples ever are.  But what people didn’t see, even on all those reality shows, was when he would look at her, just like he is at those tiny babies right now, as if she were the only good thing in the entire world.  And for him…maybe she was.

Watch him another moment, still not wanting to intrude, and then reach for my glass to finish off the rest of my margarita.  That’s when I realize I’m not the only one doing some Harvick watching tonight.  Look across the table to see Junior’s eyes are transfixed on him and I’m still not sure what to make of it.  He’s done so much for Kev, so I hate to second guess him, but sometimes the look in his eyes really makes me wonder.

I’ve heard the rumors about him, how when he was younger his coach was a revolving door to women as well as men.  How no one ever lasted long enough to be a factor, just showing up with him at one event and then never being seen again.  He’s gotten so close to all three of them, and  the way Kevin leans on him already…he better not be fucking with them.  DeLana was his rock in life and somehow Junior’s come in and found a way to support him the same.  If he’s just doing that to try and take advantage of him….

What the hell am I thinking?  I know Junior better than that, or at least I’m starting to.  I know all those stupid underground stories and cheap rumor sites are just that.  Stories.  Stories with no real basis in reality.  All I have to do is look at all the shit people have said about Kevin over the years, how DeLana had to keep him on a short leash or he’d “stray.”  Sure he’s a flirt.  Everyone knows that.  It was always a joke to him, all the teasing and flirting he did with his eyes and that damn smirk.  But that’s all it ever was.  He and DeLana spent 24/7 with each other because they couldn’t stand being apart.  Oh they’d talk shit alright, about how nice it would be to get time apart…until they did it and then rest of us had to deal with how bitchy they’d be without their other half.

Roll the stem of the glass between my fingers when Junior finally takes that moment to look over and catches me watching him.  He holds my gaze for a long moment and I wonder, does he know what I’m thinking?  I flick my eyes to Kevin and back and I swear I see some kind of recognition in his eyes.  I’ve never once said the words, but he needs to know I’ll never let him use Kev.  But the more I get to know him…the less likely I think that could be the case.  If anything he could be good for him in a lot of unspoken ways. 

Kevin confided in me in no uncertain terms there would be no other woman for him.  I’m sure a lot of people in his position might say that, but with Kevin…I know it’s for real.  So now I look at them, how Junior seems to try and anticipate his every whim, and I really don’t know what he’s trying to do.  Surely he’s not “after” him.  Surely it’s all about helping with KHI and the babies, just trying to fill the hole that can’t be filled.  Glance over at the “Cali bears” June picked up for the babies on the way out of the track and I know this isn’t a game to him.  I just…wonder if he knows what he’s getting into.

Silence is broken when the waitress finally returns and that teasing smile is back on Kev’s face as he slides his hand over the iPhone to cover the screen and then passes out the frozen drinks.  Catch Dale’s eyes once more and he gives me a slight nod.  Does he know what I’m thinking?  Could he possibly understand my concerns?  See his eyes flick to Kevin and back before giving another small nod then all the seriousness is gone and he’s clinking glasses with Kevin, urging me to do the same.  Smile at them both and join in the toast as the message Junior gives me is clear.

He’s not in this to hurt him.  I just wonder how far he’ll go.

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Catw00man - catw00man@cryptoffic.com