Home : Stories by Zippit : Trickster's Accomplice
Summary: This prank's on Shifty. He just doesn't know it.
AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTER: Clint Bowyer, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kevin Harvick; Clint POV
COMPLETED: May 3, 2009
WORD COUNT: 871
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All others errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to claireliz81 for the prompt though I’m sure this isn’t what she had in mind. ;)
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It’s a little too easy. Harvick’s not one to be easily pranked and when Earnhardt clued me in that Harvick had something planned for me...something felt like it was up. Now, he’s even told me when Kev’s not gonna be in his coach. I’m still not sure what’s going on but I know Earnhardt’s in on it. That’s a fact. As for right now, I’m sneaking into Harvick’s coach to figure out what the hell I can do. Close the door behind me and pray to God no one saw me.
“Damnit,” I mutter to myself when I look around the front area of the coach and move toward couch. Inspiration was supposed to strike by now but I’m coming up with nada. The coach is completely empty since Kev and DeLana left for whatever plans they had after practice. I don’t think Earnhardt’s in his coach and Tony’s scurried off to some restaurant or something. I have the perfect opportunity to exact a preemptive strike but I have no idea what.
“You should do something with his underwear drawer.”
Trip over my own feet and land sprawled on the couch. Goddamnit, how’d he sneak up on me? I didn’t even hear the door open, but there’s no mistaking that Carolina drawl. Scowl at the chuckle I hear and make a sound when I stand again to find, sure enough, it’s Earnhardt. Stare at him lounging against the coach door in an all too familiar way. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Seeing what’s taking you so long. You ain’t got a clue what to do, do you?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You’ve been in here for the past 20 minutes which just invites being caught.”
I’m not near as good a prankster as Kev or Junior but I give it my best try, though it wasn’t exactly in my plans to have Earnhardt help me with the damn prank. Harvick’ll probably be able to pick out his touch in all this. “Well? You have any suggestions since you’re the one that tipped me off.”
“Yeah, I do. If you’re not too chickenshit, follow me.” He pushes off the door and heads down the short hallway. Gape a little when he heads back to the bedroom and walks in like it’s his coach.
“What the hell are you doing, Earnhardt?”
“Helping you pull a good prank. What else does it look like? Now are you gonna get in here and do your part or do I have to do everything?”
Mutter under my breath and glance back at sidedoor. “You sure Harvick won’t be back for a while yet?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Now get your ass over here and do as I say.”
Shake my head in disbelief and this better not get me on Kev’s bad side. I’m spilling the beans if it does. I won’t be the only one going down for this if push comes to shove. Walk down the hall and hesitate in the doorway, peering in to see what Junior’s doing. Eyes widen when I see Junior pull open the top dresser drawer.
“Well?”
“What?”
“Get in here and steal all of Harvick’s boxers.”
“WHAT?!”
“You wanted a good prank right? I’m handing you one right here.”
“He’ll kill me!”
“No he won’t. You just needa leave his boxers in places he’ll find them.”
He’s insane. He’s got to be insane. Junior scoops up all the boxers in the drawer and walks toward me, shoving them in my hands. Then he grips my shoulders to turn me around. “Junior...I dunno if this is such a good idea.”
“You wanted to prank Harvick, right? You ain’t getting a better opportunity than right now.”
“But....”
“No buts, Bowyer.” Scramble to find some excuse to back out on his plan but my time runs out when I’m shoved out the coach door...
...right into Kev’s waiting arms and a kiss. Vaguely hear Earnhardt’s laughter over my utter shock. Clutch the boxers in my arms as I scramble back from Kev, stammering apologies which quickly turn to outrage, when I see the smirk on Harvick’s face. “YOU KNEW!” Spin on my heel to glare at Junior. “YOU SET ME UP!”
The shit eating grin on Junior’s face as he leans against the doorway is answer enough but it’s Harvick who answers me. “Did you really think it’d be that easy? Seriously Bowyer, you should know us both better by now. Earnhardt’s my accomplice. Not yours.”
“I hate you both,” I say and toss Kev’s boxers at Junior, hoping he doesn’t catch most of them.
“Watch it! I’m not gonna have anything to wear!”
“Serve you right.” The majority of my hopes are dashed as the boxers stay clumped together in a ball that Junior catches easily.
“Nah, you don’t, Bowyer. You just suck at pranks,” Junior says with a chuckle then turns and lobs the boxers inside. “C’mon, we’ll make it up to you by getting you drunk on Monday. Whadda say?”
“Whisky River?”
He gives me a look before he says, “Yeah, we’ll go party and you can run up a tab.” Smile at Junior’s words cause damnit, after all that I’m gonna be getting my money’s worth.
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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com
This is a non-profit, non-commercial work of fiction using the names and likenesses of real individuals. This fictional story is not intended to imply that the events herein actually occurred, or that the attitudes or behaviors described are engaged in or condoned by the real persons whose names are used without permission. |