Another Day Down

Home : Stories by Zippit : The Chase Series : Another Day Down

Summary: Another day slips past, fleeting out of his grasp.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG
SERIES: The Chase Series
CHARACTER: Dale Earnhardt Jr/Kevin Harvick, Kevin Harvick/DeLana Harvick implied, Dale Jr POV
CATEGORY: General/Romance/Angst
COMPLETED: March 17, 2007
WORD COUNT: 739
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All other errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by Catw00man's Chase story #4 – Fool for Love
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Chase Race #4 - Kansas Speedway: October 8th, 2005

Bite my lip and shift slightly to watch him go to the window. I knew what I was getting myself into that night I let alcohol and loose lips do the talking. I knew from the glint in his eyes when he talks about her or their team, the glint of the wedding ring on his finger that he still never takes off.

I know.

I let it wound me every time when I know it shouldn’t. I let it wound me just like I let Martin’s distance wound me. My best friend, inseparable for close to a year and a half, then nothing. Nothing ever lasts. I’ve grown resigned to it. Just like I know this won’t last either.

The warmth of him seeps from the bed like I know the wound in his heart is festering with the loss of the woman of his dreams. They changed and grew apart with the struggles of RCR. Nothing they could control. Nothing they could stop either.

I feign sleep, not wanting him to know I’m awake. He has his thoughts to deal with. … I told him what’s not common knowledge around the garage. They’re discreet and I thank them for that. An affair among the top drivers on the NASCAR circuit? The world would collapse around us in a blaze of fire.

I live in enough of an inferno as it is. I would hate to drag more of them into it. I didn’t have to tell him but I did. I know I’ll have to let him go eventually. He’s not mine and… Clench my hand in the sheets where he was and sigh soft. It’s not something I linger over. Same way I try not to let the love linger in my touches or in my eyes.

He’s not mine.

I shift and tug the covers over me. It’s cold without his heat beside me and I shouldn’t grow this attached to his presence, I’m only setting myself up for the fall. I should and I do listen to reason most times but never in matters of the heart where it’d probably help most.

This secret affair I haven’t shared with anyone. Not even Kelley. She knows most of my secrets, pleasant and unpleasant. But this? This she wouldn’t understand. She tasted the glimpses of glory back when it was all for fun. She doesn’t understand the pressure or my need to please. It’s all foreign to her. She’s like our daddy in so many ways but she understands me better than he ever did.

The bed dips with his weight and I waste no time in pressing against him. Seize every moment like it’s the last because it just might be. A hard lesson I’ve had engrained over and over. It never stuck… ‘til him.

Familiar feel of him under my touch, I whisper words I don’t want to say but that I need him to hear. “I thought you were finally going to leave this time.” Brutally honest like I’ve never been with anyone else.

Maybe it’ll hurt a little less, tearing out my heart piece by piece with every word I say. Nothing left to hurt but the empty ache that resides there when he finally leaves. Not just because of him but so many things.

His words warm me, “I’ll never sneak out on you, June. I swear to you I’ll never walk out on you that way,” but I can’t help but wonder how empty they are. Murmur thank you against his neck and hold him tight. I hate how needy I am, how I’ve come to depend on him. Peace in the middle of the tempest. Shouldn’t let him affect me so much, shouldn’t let him draw me in so much to only be tossed away in the end.

I should probably begin to look elsewhere for the companionship I seek, spend my time doing something productive while I wait for the inevitable to fall upon me. Sometimes I curse the fact I’m so laidback. I never inherited my daddy’s fire the same way Kelley did. Oh, I burn but burn for the wrong reasons.

I watch him ease back into sleep, my arms warm around him. In my mind, the ticking picks up again. A soundless, relentless countdown only audible to my ears. Another day down, how many more left?

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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com