Wired Frustrations

Home : Stories by Zippit : The K. D. Harvey Show : Wired Frustrations

Summary: It’s a good idea to have a buddy that’s a tech geek.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG
SERIES: The K. D. Harvey Show
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr; Kevin POV
PROMPT: Taming the Muse #130 - Administer (7.75)
COMPLETED: February 16, 2009
WORD COUNT: 2,523
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All other errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have some catching up to do, but they do love being wordy.
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Pre-Production – Week 2

Harvick Household - Kernersville, North Carolina – January 16th, 2009

D’s already at the shop making sure it’s ready for NASCAR’s impromptu Truck Series meeting. Not sure when we became neutral territory for that type of thing but all we can do is go with it. We’d asked around to see if the other Truck owners wanted a cost cutting meeting with NASCAR and the response to that wasn’t much of a surprise. NASCAR’s agreement was. Even more of a surprise was when they let us decide where to hold it. We’d thought about having it closer to Charlotte since that’s where the majority of the teams are but it was a whole lot easier to set it up in our backyard. D should be able to handle the final touches.

As for me, I’m stuck at home waiting for the damn electrician to get his ass done with the wiring modifications. Nope, it couldn’t take a simple extension cord or some easy piece of shit like that. It has to take some complex rewiring of the outlets in the bedroom we’re using. I don’t really care why. Just want it done so I can get out of here and down to the shop.

We’re not in trouble, no fines being leveled against us, but it is NASCAR. Them being anywhere near our shop makes me uneasy and causes me to fidget worse than I do coming to the season’s first race. Lean against the wall next to the doorway and grind a heel into the carpet while I watch for some sign he’s anywhere near finished. Michael’s said this guy’s good and has come through for them numerous times in the past. I just...want him to hurry. Not my fault this place is wired in such a way that we need this fixed the hard way.

Perk up when the electrician, Jacob, gets up and lets me know I can do a test run before he heads out. Head over to the switchboard machine to flip it on while he plugs in the extension cord. The same low hum from last time fills the room and I glance nervously at the lights, waiting for it to all stop again. It doesn’t and maybe something is finally going right.

“Looks like we’re good.” Chuckle then add, “If not, I’ll have Michael drag your ass back out here to fix it.” Jacob gathers up his stuff with a grin.

“Just take care of it and don’t blow another fuse. Might take a few pieces of equipment with it the next time.” Snort and walk him to the bedroom door, trusting him to find his own way out. If things keep working, we’ll be fine. Head back into the room to turn it all off cause I’m not risking  leaving it on while no one’s home. Now I need to get to the shop.

~*~*~*~

Well that was interesting. Cautions are gonna be quickie yellows. No more full pitstops so it’s gonna be either tires or fuel. All in an effort to lessen the cost by reducing the number of crew we bring. I know we need it but it’s one less guy getting experience by being there in the thick of the action. At least I know what to expect since they did it in the Winston West series when I was in it.

D had some girl thing to do with friends so I’m headed back to fiddle with the equipment some more. There’s broadcast instructions we haven’t dared touch. Mills, the shop dog that somehow migrated home with us, greets me when I walk in the door. Shed my jacket, draping it on the banister before heading upstairs, and I’m sure D will give me hell for it later.

Plop down in the chair and roll myself up to the desk to hit the power switch. Then I pull on the headset and say, “Kevin Harvick here, testing production of the K.D. Harvey show.” All the switches came with labels so we shouldn’t be running too in the dark when we record the first show. Hmm...look for the one that says playback and press it to the wonderful sound of...nothing. “KHI championship contenders,” I try again but like before I’m rewarded with the deafening sound of nothing. Well fuck that.

Maybe I’ll have better luck with a...huh, did we even get a sound effects panel? Look around for anything that could be it. I didn’t read about anything that sounded like one when I was setting all this crap up. I know Earnhardt had one for them to play around with and Stewart had the guys up in New York inserting what they deemed appropriate at the right moment, but I don’t want that. No, I want control of it. I’m sure Sirius won’t be too put out if I ask for one. If not I’m going over to Earnhardt’s “property” and getting myself his sound effects board.

Since nothing works that screws fiddling around until I got the hang of things. Randomly start pressing buttons cause I’m bored and this should become some sort of productive pursuit. This one’s supposed to end a call, that one patches one in, and that one cuts to commercial. The blue one next to it takes us back from commercial. So that’s a little weird. I know most of the shows on Sirius and XM were moderated from New York so they could put in the commercials and all that stuff. I wonder how much it killed Sirius to let us have control over that, but since we’re not live it can’t be too big a deal.

It saves them a shit ton because we all know this isn’t something cheap we’re doing. That’s why we tried to get as much control over it as we possibly could. To be on the safe side, maybe we should have one of the new D.C. studio producers on the line to help us record the first couple shows. Then once we’ve got our feet under us we’ll only need to call them when we need them. Gonna need to have some of the guys or Bowyer call in to the guest line and see how it works. Have to talk to producer Michael too and see when’s the latest we’ll need to get everything recorded for them to air that same night.

Shoot off a few quips about how Bowyer’s mooching days are finally over with the acquisition of his new plane and try the playback button again. Still zilch. Is there editing involved or something? Drag one of the laptops that came with the setup close and wait for the screen to boot. Stuff on here is supposed to tell us what to do and help us monitor the show. Okay so, I open up the program that’s labeled “Show Audio” and two files pop up in the program. They must be the recordings for what I’ve said. Click on the more recent one that has to be the stuff about Bowyer. Jagged lines form across the screen and I can’t make heads or tails of it or the buttons in the program. I understand the obvious ones of play, stop, fast forward, and rewind but everything else is over my head.

Hit play to make sure I’m not getting even the simple buttons wrong and yup that’s what I said about Bowyer. Scroll through the different menus to see what I can do with the clip and though the distortion option looks amusing I don’t really know what I’m doing. Try to pull up the help menu but accidentally click something and now there’s no clips on screen. Damnit! I might’ve deleted everything. Smack the tabletop in frustration before I push back from it then kick the table leg before propping my feet up. This wasn’t supposed to be so damn hard. It’s supposed to be something fun and it was easy enough at Stewart’s place. Reach for my phone sitting on the table and hit the speed dial for Earnhardt. Here’s hoping he actually answers for once cause this isn’t something I can do over text.

Wait impatiently through the four or five rings until he finally picks up. “Earnhardt, get your ass over here and make this thing work since you started the whole thing.”

“Hello to you too and what the hell you talking ‘bout Harvick?”

“The radio show. Stupid equipment’s giving me hell. It busted our power grid last week and now the recording’s not working right.”

“How’d you end up in charge of this?” If he’s gonna take enjoyment out of my issues the least he can do is help me. Roll my eyes at his chuckle cause of course he’d find this hilarious.

“So you coming over or not?”

“I’ll be there. Gimme twenty minutes.”

“What? You gotta make excuses to the girlfriend?”

“Ha, ha. Where’s D by the way? Sure under normal circumstances she wouldn’t want you playing with electronics all alone.”

Snort and swivel back and forth in the chair. “She’s off hanging with the girls. Something about a few last days of enjoying her time. Now get your ass over here and help me fix this thing.”

“Alright, alright. Later, Harvick.” The phone clicks off and I toss it back onto the table. It really is a shame we don’t have time to hang out more. Earnhardt makes anything a whole lot more fun. Just ask Gordon. From everything I’ve heard he’s kept them all fit to be tied in those team meetings.

Move outta the chair and head downstairs, skimming my hand over the rail. Wonder if we have any Bud in the house. I know there’s plenty of Amstel Light, but I probably better pay in Bud Boy’s favorite currency or at least get him drunk enough he doesn’t notice.

Pull open the fridge and move things around. Should start making D clear out some of this stuff or give them to the guys. Yup, nothing but Amstel Light. Well he can just deal. Make sure I have a full pack for later then go find Bebe in the living room. Play a few rounds of rope tug-a-war with her until the doorbell rings and I go let Junior in. “About time smartass. Can we borrow your sound effects board?”

“The hell you need it for? Figured you got one yourselves.”

“Minor oversight. If we can’t get it, I want yours.”

“No damn way, get your own.”

“Race you for it.”

“In what RC cars?”

“Go-karts.”

“On who’s turf? Yours and mine are outta the question.”

“Bowyer’s.”

“It’s a frigging dirt track!” He shoves my shoulder lightly as we head up the stairs.

“What of it? You got one yourself. C’mon, what’s a little dirt gonna hurt you?”

“And how often have you been on it?”

“Not enough to buy me any sort of advantage. Should make a regular race out of it.”

“When in our limitless time?”

“Don’t need to be pissy about it, Earnhardt. Unless you’re afraid you’ll lose outright,” I say as we walk down the upstairs hall toward the “studio.” I don’t understand why he’s so dead set against dirt racing. It’s not like he wouldn’t master it given enough time.

“Haha. Gimmie a date and I’ll be there. Prepare for a whupping, Harvick.”

“You’re the one that’s in for a whupping.”

The dogs trail after him like he’s their doggie Lord and Savior. At times I think they love him more than they do me. The first time he saw the new and improved Harvick household he was impressed. He doesn’t hang out with the pretentious idiot crowd so he’d never gotten a good glimpse inside someone’s dream house. Think that’s part of why he tore down his place not soon after the Cribs people went there. Almost wish he’d asked me to design the new one cause I’d have shown him all the things he’s missing out on. He’s said he’s building his place to better match the pool and that’s no surprise. That pool is a beauty. Hope he actually lets himself splurge. HMS must’ve given him one hell of a pay raise.

He follows me into the KDH “studio” and I go lay on the bed to watch him. He looks over at me and I ask, “Show me how to work things. Poking around got me absolutely squat.”

He sinks down on the chair I vacated earlier and looks things over. “Ain’t gonna learn anything lounging over there.”

“But I’m cooooomfy.”

“Harvick, there’s no way I’m coming over here every week to babysit your ass so get over here.” Push up off the bed and grumble as I walk over and drag the other chair next to him. “How much they letting you do? Thought they wanted a producer or something on the line when you were live.”

“Eh, they’re strapped for cash enough that they’re letting us do as much as we want. So we’re recording it for them then they’ll air it later that day.”

“And you didn’t ask them to spring for a sound effects board?”

“It slipped my mind at the time. So show me how to work this thing.” Shift closer as he starts explaining all the stuff I’d been hitting earlier with no results. Evidently he was the tech guy in charge for his production cause his fingers run sure over the controls, hesitating in only finding the exact location of everything. Must be a different setup than the one he had. Wonder if he got to keep all the equipment or if Sirius/XM took it back at the end of last year.

Scoot closer to the table when he pushes back to let me have a go. He corrects me when I’m about to do the wrong thing and once I’ve gone through everything several times without having him say a word I turn to him with a grin. “You know you’ve just gotten yourself a tech support job?”

“Didn’t expect nothing less. What’cha give in payment?”

Kick out at his leg and snort. “Don’t have your favorite kind downstairs but have enough Amstel Light. You won’t notice the difference after awhile.” 
 
“Next time you call me over to fix something, you better have some Bud handy.” Wave a hand at him and lead him back downstairs. He’ll stop complaining once we get to drinking.

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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com