Killing Time

Home : Stories by Zippit : The K. D. Harvey Show : Killing Time

Summary: There's nothing to do on a Tuesday afternoon.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
SERIES: The K. D. Harvey Show
CHARACTER: Kevin Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kevin POV
COMPLETED: February 26, 2009
WORD COUNT: 751
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All other errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am seriously loving this series!
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Pre-Production – Week 5

Harvick Household - Kernersville, North Carolina – February 2nd, 2009

It’s Tuesday afternoon. I have nothing to do and nowhere to be so it’s time to find someone to annoy. Stroll into the KDH studio and pull the microphone over to the bed. Grab a headset and laptop before I sprawl out on my stomach with my feet near the headboard. Now let’s see who I can call to annoy. Grin wide when I realize Earnhardt should be in the same state of boredom I’m in.

Producer Mike provided us with a remote so we could patch the guests in and out easier. He said it was something the techs up in D.C. figured we could use with how much we’re doing on our own. Let’s give it a try. Dial Earnhardt’s number and get nothing but voicemail. “I know you’re there, Earnhardt. Pick up or else I’m just gonna keep calling.”

Hang up then try again only to be directed to his inbox. He really shouldn’t try me. I’m a man of my word. Give his cell one more try then switch to call up his home phone. “C’mon Earnhardt. You know me better than this. Pick up, pick up.” How many calls before he caves? At some point he’s gonna get tired of all the ringing. He might as well just get this over with and stop ignoring me. I don’t take well to being ignored.

Six, seven, eight, nine.

Switch between his house line and his cell every three calls and finally he picks up on the tenth with a raspy, “WHAT?”

Shit, I forgot he’d been coming down with something and from the sounds of it it’s in full swing now. Oh well, he can still keep me amused. Chuckle softly, opening up Myspace on the laptop, as I say, “Who would you bet on between you and Bowyer on motocross bikes?”

“Harvick, what the hell are you on?”

“We had a little fun with Kawasaki Motor Corp. yesterday. They brought some motocross bikes out to RC’s farm and we did some racing on a course we threw together.”

“Sound fun,” he says dryly. “You called me up for this?”

“No, I called you to ask who’d win if you raced against Bowyer on one of those things.”

“Harvick, I ain’t never been on a 2-wheeler like that and doesn’t Bowyer have some motocross in his background?” He trails off into a cough and grows fainter, probably him turning away from the phone.

“You saying you’d bet against yourself?”

There’s silence on the other end before he comes back with, “C’mon and spit it out. What do you really want?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Harvick.”

“I wanna know what’s got you so scared of dirt. That’s what I want.”

“I am not scared of dirt!”

“Those supposed dirt racing lessons never went anywhere.”

“I don’t got the time.”

“Uh huh.”

“I don’t.”

“Chicken.” I hear the snick of a beer can being opened and look toward the clock. “Hey, June? It’s still mid-afternoon.”

“Talking to you, I need it.”

“Awww, c’mon. I’m not that mean.”

“Are you kidding? You just called me a dozen different times just to make me answer the phone while I’m over here dying!”

Okay, so he sorta has a point there, although a bit overdramatic, but it’s not my fault he doesn’t answer his phone as often as he should. “You’re the one that’s forgotten how to hold a conversation on one of these things. Thought I’d call up and give you a review lesson.” You know, it might not be a bad idea that I’m talking to him through the headset. Everything that goes through the system gets recorded and I may just have to use some of this for a clip later on.

“Now why would I need to call my buddies when I see ‘em almost every day…’cept you cause you’re living out in the middle of freaking nowhere.”

“Kernersville is close to the shops. We needed to be out here.”

“Ain’t you got something better to do than harass me for no damn reason?”

“Nope.” I know he can hear the smugness in my voice. Let him. I have a radio show now and every Tuesday during this time I’m supposed to be recording it for Sirius. I plan on making full use of my responsibility to annoy the hell out of people all in the name of good entertainment. Earnhardt and Bowyer better watch out and Stewart too. I’ve been unleashed on the airwaves and who knows what’ll happen.

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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com