Double Teamed

Home : Stories by Zippit : The K. D. Harvey Show : Double Teamed

Harvick Household – Kernersville, North Carolina – February 24th, 2009

I just know I’m gonna get grief from Earnhardt tonight when he shows up. Bowyer decided he needed to be different and headed out to Montana to enjoy the sights. Asshole. Damn idiot needs to get over here so I can load up the generator and ship it back to Earnhardt.

“D? You in here?” I call out as I walk into the kitchen. She shouldn’t be in here. She never usually is unless we’re warming up something to eat. Wonder if her mom’s brought something over yet if not we might be ordering out again. Head to the pantry to snag some chips, pouring them in a bowl, then grab a bottle of Amstel Light from the fridge before heading out to the patio. We’ve got tables and chairs but I bypass those to lean against the stone railing.

Munch on some chips as I gaze down at our never used pool. Damn shame too. What more could we need? We should find a way to use it more often this summer. Maybe have all the guys over during that offweek we have after Indy. Should be good and hot then. We can combine one of D’s old folks’ parties with a pool party. Make it less old folky.

Laugh and grab another handful of chips. Gotta see if D’ll go for that first then I can start getting some pointers from Earnhardt and Stewart about how to throw a good one. Those two should have the best tips out there for that. Check the time and it’s almost six. About time for Earnhardt to show up. Perfect time for beer and dinner long as it’s not D’s cooking.

Finish off my Amstel Light and head back inside with the chip bowl. Need to start working on that guest list of mine. Earnhardt’s been good to have on but it’s time to mix it up. Stewart should be the first one on. I never did do a Rolex low down. Means I need to work on Mears and see if he can talk Johnson into stopping by too. Grab another beer from the fridge when the doorbell rings. Walk out from the kitchen and head to the door, opening it to see Earnhardt with…pizza boxes in hand? “You brought food?”

“Hell yeah. After nearly starving the last time, I figure I’d take preemptive action.”

“Where’s it from?”

“Pie in the Sky. Best place out here for it.”

“Don’t think I don’t notice the beer you’re hiding behind your back.”

“Wouldn’t wanna insult you.”

“You’ve been doing it since we first met, why stop now?” Hold the door open wider for him and gesture for him to come in. “Drop them in the kitchen. We’ll grab some plates and take them upstairs.”

“DeLana around or we doing this solo tonight?”

“Not sure where she is,” I say as I move to the cupboards for plates.

“She gonna mind if we eat this upstairs?”

“Planning on getting grease everywhere, Earnhardt?”

“No, I just know how picky Kelley gets about food upstairs.”

“We’ll deal with it later.” We both pile on a couple of slices and I grab a six pack of Amstel from the fridge then follow him up the stairs. “How’s your place coming along?”

“It’s coming. Never realized how used to living in a big place you get.”

Chuckle and nudge him in the back. “Loft getting to you?”

“Oh lord, you have no idea. Tux and Buddy are in love with the place but having Stroker, Killer, and me stumbling over each other and everything doesn’t make for a good way to live.”

Walk into the studio, set down my food on my side of the table, and pop the Amstel and the Bud into the fridge. It was time for a refill. Grab some cold ones for us both, passing his over to him, then slide into my seat. “Why don’t you take D’s seat for tonight?”

He looks back at me. “Are you sure? Ain’t she around here somewhere?”

“Probably but you can move once she gets here.”

He shrugs and moves back to D’s side, hooking the chair with his foot to pull it out. “A’right, but it’s on you if she gets pissed.”

“It’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.” We’ve still got some time yet so we dig into our pizzas. Swallow a bite of pizza and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Uh, June, about that generator…Bowyer’s out playing tourist along the West Coast otherwise I’d have it back to you by now.”

“He putting that plane to good use?”

“Is he ever! He’s never home.”

“I’m gonna end up having to help you haul it downstairs just so I can get it back, aren’t I?”

“Looks like. Also depends on when you want it back. Not sure if he’s even gonna be around during the off week with all the traveling he’s doing.”

“Just don’t forget. Don’t wanna be getting it back sometime next year.” He takes a few bites of pizza before continuing, “We gonna get this show on the road?”

“Figured we could finish our pizza first. Won’t have much time for eating once we’re recording.”

“Got a point.” And he finishes off the slice he was working on to dive into another. We demolish another couple slices between small talk about the same old problem of finding sponsors. Push my plate back and lean back in my chair as I take a drink.

“Huh, I never expected you of all people to have issues with sponsorship.”

“It ain’t a problem if I’m the one driving but try selling Keselowski to them and I’m worse off than you.”

“How’s that work?”

“I got less time to run around making sure they’re happy.” No one ever looks at it that way. We all figure being associated with him is everything the sponsor needs, but that doesn’t take into account the appearances. Homebody as he is it must suck flying all over for those.

“Who you’d you have design this new wonder palace you’re building?”

“Don’t remember, why? Do you miss messing with all that?”

“Sometimes. It’s why D let me design the mansion here and KHI was just a throwaway idea we liked. You mind bringing those plans over? I’d like a look at them.”

“I dunno…I’ll think about it.”

“Keeping that place a secret or something until the grand reveal?”

“Not really. It’s just home, you know? Want it to be perfect before letting anyone else see it.”

“So there wasn’t any ulterior motive for letting Cribs stop by then demolishing it?”

“Well….” The smirk playing around his lips is answer enough. “There was some.”

Shake my head and laugh because only he would even think about doing something like that. “How long were you planning it?”

“Not that long. Just got to thinking how the house didn’t really fit with the finished pool anymore and how I could do with a bigger place since Stroker is as big as he is. All came together after the Cribs visit. Perfect time to build a new place since the old one had been captured on film.”

“I bet the Cribs people were pissed when they heard about it.”

“I dunno. Maybe they were. Don’t really care. It’s my place. Though think Mike said something about them wanting another visit when the place is finished.”

“How far along on it are you?”

“I’m hoping to get it done later this year but can’t say for sure if it will. It’s all happening in bits and pieces. Whatever we can do and however much Sonny figures we should do. Weather’s gonna be an issue. Had to stop over the offseason cause no one wanted to work over the holidays and I didn’t wanna think about it then either.” He pops the top to another beer and takes a drink. “We’ll start back up when the weather gets a bit warmer. Easier on everyone that way and goes faster too.”

Nod at his words cause it makes sense. We all want our dream houses and from the sounds of it he’s getting his. He just has to be patient. Huh, patient and Earnhardt in the same sentence. Oddly fitting. Shake my beer to see how much is left and it’s not much. Down it and stretch before grabbing another and say, “Ready to get this show on the road?”

“Yup, I’m all fed now and ready to work the weight off.”

Feel under the table with my feet for the switch on the extension cord while June grabs his headset from the table. He’s started leaving it here since it’s the only time he needs it. He tilts his head at the bed then looks at me. “Go ahead. What it’s there for anyway. By the way you have any more of those headsets lying around?”

“Not ones I’m willing to give up. Ask your producers to get you some. They set you up with all the rest of this. Should be no problem.”

“It’s just more fun if I deprive you of something.”

“Very funny.” He shoots me a glare I return with a grin.

Finally find and flip the extension cord switch on and everything comes to life with a rumble. Move the mic so I can sit sideways to the table and still be able to look at June. Adjust the mic a bit more so it’s nearer my mouth then say, “Hey folks, welcome to the post California edition of the K.D. Harvey show. It was more of an eventful weekend than I wanted.”

“Yo, I’m here too. Like always. What happened to you anyway, Harvick?”

“I ended up in the wall and ended my DNF streak.”
 
“Ain’t the way I heard it. You gonna tell me the truth or should I repeat the hearsay?”

“Fiiiiiiiiiine. They couldn’t find me. From the looks of it the car was toast and so was the DNF streak.”

“So it’s on your head for breaking it?” Glare at him for being his smug, blunt ass self. He nudges my knee with his foot while a smirk turns his grin lopsided.

“It looked like a blown engine. I wasn’t gonna wait around the rest of the race for them to tell me what I already knew. You’ve done the exact same thing. You know how cars still being out there gets under your skin.”

“Easy, Harvick. Just teasing. Hey, ain’t Bowyer got the longest streak going now?”

“Yeah, he does. Good old Cheerios boy is carrying the banner now. It’s small consolation someone from RCR is still carrying the flag.”

“So you aren’t secretly hoping his streak will end too?”

“Why would I?”

“C’mon, tell the truth. You got the record with the longest without a DNF. You really want the upstart rookie you helped break in beating you?”

“He can take his best shot. We’ll see if he makes it.”

“Rivalry within the organization, is that the way it goes?” He tilts his head while I lean back in my chair and shrug. It’s the way it’s always been at RCR once we got the right mix of drivers. Have to wonder if last year at HMS was June’s first time seeing that.

“What’s the point of having teammates if you can’t have a little fun?”

“Hey boys, see you got started without me.” Look up at D’s voice and she’s back from wherever it is she disappeared to.

“And now currently in the studio is my lovely wife, DeLana, who’s finally decided to join us.” She gives June a smile then slides into her seat. “We kept your seat all pristine for you.”

She looks at me with suspicion in her eyes then pulls on her headset. “Kev­-in­, what’d you do to my seat?”

“Nothing at all. Right, June?”

“Yup, he offered the seat to me, but I wanted to try out the bed.”

“Of course you did.”

“Very funny. Get up to any trouble while I was keeping your husband entertained?”

“No, was just running over to Momma’s to pick up some leftovers for dinner, but I see you already fed Kevin.”

“Who am I to turn down some damn good pizza? You try any?”

“Not yet but I’ll grab some after the show. Did you two manage to stay out of trouble?”

“Mmhm. Was nothing but good.”

“That I find hard to believe. Junior, is he telling the truth?”

He flips the bottle cap between his fingers then lets a slow smile slide across his lips. “Yes he is, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that. I’m not that old Junior!”

“Harvick, how old’s your wife?’

“Kev-in, don’t you dare!”

“Older than you, Earnhardt.”

“Ha! So I can technically call you ‘ma’am.’“ D pushes back from the table and stalks over to the bed, smacking June on the shoulder while I just laugh. “Hey, hey, easy!” June laughs as he tries to scoot away from her. He has nowhere to go unless he wants to fall off the bed.

“Dale Earnhardt Junior you’re going to pay for that!”

“You sound like Kelley! You been talking to her?” He laughs more and puts his hands up to fend off her blows.

“I have half a mind to now.” She finally stops hitting him and comes back to the table.

“You ok now?”

“Yes,” she says all sweetly which means she’s already planning her revenge. Grin more and I’m glad it’s Earnhardt here and not Stewart. I don’t think I’ll ever want Stewart in studio for a show. He’s too touchy feely for my liking, but I need to get him on at some point. Earnhardt’s been hogging the radio spotlight too much. Maybe next week I’ll have him call in.

“So, DeLana what’d you think of your husband single handedly boning his DNF streak by bailing early?”

“Damn you, Earnhardt. Didn’t we already cover that?”

“Haven’t heard DeLana’s side of it.” Grumble about evil racecar drivers while D smiles.

“Well…that’s sort of the downside when you’re married to a hot headed driver.”

“HEY! What is this? Rag on Kevin day?”

They both look at me with identical wicked gleams in their eyes and say, “Yup.”

Groan low and glare at the both of them. This is gonna be a long evening. “You heard it here, folks. Be prepared for an entertaining show at my expense. I hope you two evil overlords enjoy yourselves.”

“I’m sure we will.” It’s times like this I ask myself why I married her.