From Tradition’s Ashes

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Summary: Everything’s changing and he’s not sure who he is anymore.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTER: Tony Stewart/Kasey Kahne, Tony POV
CHALLENGE: Christmas Request 2008
WRITTEN FOR: rhardin
COMPLETED: December 25, 2008
WORD COUNT: 1,456
DISCLAIMER: Not real; don’t know them, don’t claim to know them. Only the makings of my imagination. I own NOTHING and am affiliated with NO ONE mentioned here. Not the drivers, not the teams, no one. This is all fiction and fun. In other words...NOT REAL, NOT REAL, NOT REAL. ;-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I never knew I had a Tony muse. *lol* Hope you enjoy.
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Stewart-Haas CNC Racing – December 2008

My idea of fun doesn’t involve sitting at my desk staring at invoices for parts we need but can barely afford. Building a team, building a house, it all swirls around inside my head and all it does is run together. Costs for the house, can I really afford them? Should I be pouring them into the team instead? Am I doing anything right? I’m the one writing the checks now and boy is that something I never thought I’d be saying. That could really be a bad thing since I’m now paying my own salary. How the hell did that happen?

I’ll tell you how. Snot nosed idiot named Joey Logano caught J.D.’s eye and he was signed to a development deal quicker than anything. Lean back in my chair and swivel to gaze out over the shop floor. Best thing since sliced bread but J.D. and the Coach weren’t looking to expand to a four car team. Not when they couldn’t get all three cars running at the same level. Sure, Kyle had the year to kill for and Denny and I were non factors. But fuck it all, I gave seventeen years to that place. Two championships and yeah we had our ups and downs, but wasn’t it worth something?

I helped the Coach build that place and it didn’t mean bullshit in the end. Coach’s put up with a lot of shit from me over the years, but he didn’t care as long as I didn’t piss off the sponsors and gave him results. Which I did. Somehow along the way though he traded in decency for results. Just take a look at the idiots filling the rides at JGR now.

Denny didn’t start out like the arrogant punk he’s become. Junior practically gave him an in to meeting Coach and things just escalated from there. They don’t have anything to do with each other now and that should’ve been my second clue. The first was when they traded Bobby for the up and coming rising star.

I got J.J. the ride there and look what it got him. They didn’t even give him a chance. Didn’t believe enough in him or something. NASCAR’s a make or break sport and it broke for J.J. They didn’t do half the stuff they did for Denny when he bitched about his pit crew. Maybe cause he was a proven entity since he’d ran those seven races in ‘05 like he’d been driving Cup forever. I don’t know. It sucks.

And then guess what, NASCAR’s latest bad boy gets unceremoniously booted from what’s been touted as one of the best rides in NASCAR. Look where he lands, JGR, the land where assholes thrive. How bad do you have to fuck up to be booted from Hendrick Motorsports? I guess I could ask Casey about that. He’s the next one to go and we all know Brad’s coming up in 2011 to take over Mark’s ride.

So I end up surrounded by the up and coming young talent. The new cash cows of the business but we all know none of us will ever match Jeff or Junior’s appeal. Young talent, immature talent. You’d think Kyle would’ve learned from his brother and okay I’ve had it up to here with Kurt at times but he’s mellowed a hell of a lot after Roger got to him. Sometimes you can’t even believe he’s the same arrogant punk that came up in 2001. Pity Coach and J.D. don’t have that same touch. Would provide a hell of a lot more piece of mind for us all on the track.

Coach is good with bringing the best out of the worst people. He’s done it with me countless times. He’s doing it with Denny and Kyle though damn we never have predicted the instant chemistry between Steve and Kyle. Season to dream of until he tanked in the Chase. Come to think of it, he has every year he’s been in the Chase. It’s just never been as noticeable as it was this past year. Too soon to tell with Joey. Though J.D. has quite the set in overall looks. JGR just might be the worst looking set of drivers ever and that’s saying something.

It’s because of him I’m on the verge of doing something that no driver’s ever done: create a competitive team. Sponsorship’s not even all set in stone yet. Ryan’s set for 22 races and we’re working hard to find someone for the rest of the races. We’ve got the crews and shops filled at least. Stealing the whole 8 team was just fucking lucky. DEI isn’t a museum yet, but they’re well on their way. Merging with Ganassi? Goddamn, it’s sad to see the Intimidator’s dream become so twisted.

So much to worry about here with the team and the shops, Indiana’s more a prison than an escape nowadays. I need to be back at the shops, I need to be here making sure we’ve got everything and everything’s moving forward. No testing next year is gonna kill us but who’re we kidding? No testing my ass. GEM was testing at Rockingham before we were and who knows where else teams have gone to get around the ban.

I need to be out testing too. Get to know Darien because boy that’s going to be an adventure. Since the Coach signed me I’ve had no one else but Zippy on the box. That’s just one of the things I should be doing. Though there’s no “official” testing I don’t know if I even have the time for the Chilibowl. I’ve got a second car entered with a driver to be named and I want to be that driver.  I want to be there surrounded by the history, the excitement, and the competition. I want to but I’ve already given up the Sirius show because of all the time I wouldn’t have. Can I really justify going out there for a few precious days when I could be doing something here?

Jump slightly when arms wrap around my shoulders and a soft voice murmurs, “What’s got you so worried looking, Smoke?”

Look up and smile when I see it’s Kasey. “Hey, how’d you get in?”

“Security knows better than to mess with me.” He makes a ferocious face that has me laughing and I swivel the chair to face him as he takes a step back, leaning against the desk.

“Did I forget we had plans or something?”

“Nope, just wanted to stop by and say hi. And to say Kole’s told me you haven’t committed to the Chilibowl yet?”

“I don’t know if I have the time, Kase. There’s so much going on with the team. We still don’t have Ryan’s sponsors finalized and then there’s getting to know Darien. Not sure taking those days for the Chilibowl is gonna be worth it in the long run.”

He leans in to kiss me, leaving his forehead resting against mine as he traces my cheek. “It’s only a few days and you know the work’s never going to be done no matter what you do.  C’mon, you need to relax. A few days at the Chilibowl would do you good.”

He’s right. I need a pressure release every once in a while or else this place is going to suffer from my frustrations. But it’s several days worth of time gone…if it was only a one day event maybe.

“Remember who you are, Smoke. It’s not the person sitting here. That’s just a part of you. Come have fun with me.” Look up into his sweet smile and make my decision.

“Alright, I’ll call them and say I’m coming. They can live without me for a few days and what’s the use of half the people I hired if they can’t run the place for a few days, right?”

“Right. You had lunch yet? We could get one together?” There’s still stuff I need to do here, but there’s always gonna be during this next year and then some. Rise from my chair and grab my coat, walking with him toward the door.

“You’re the one buying. I don’t have the money to spare anymore.”

“That mean I get to choose the place?”

“No way in hell, but you are driving.” Smile and relax into the easiness between us. A few hours to myself is just what I needed and I don’t know how he knew, but he did. Being a car owner is only one of the many hats I wear and I need to remember that. This is supposed to be an adventure, an adventure I control and not the other way around.

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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com