Another Dream Gone

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Summary: Just like the years, dreams slip away so easy.

AUTHOR: Zippit
EMAIL: zippit@cryptoffic.com
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTER: Dale Earnhardt Jr.; Dale POV
COMPLETED: June 2, 2009
WORD COUNT: 591
DISCLAIMER: If you recognize anyone in this piece, I am in no way affiliated with or know them personally. I am neither making a profit nor plan to do so. This is nothing more than an exercise in fiction. This is a result of an overactive imagination and I claim no truth to these words.
BETA: Thanks to Catw00man for the beta. All others errors are mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here's to better times ahead for the sweet boy even if he has to put some of his dreams behind him.
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Dover International Speedway – Dover, Delaware – May 29th, 2009

It starts with low expectations and nothing but the pleasure of seeing what they can do. It ends with sky high expectations and the knowledge they’re not doing enough. Somewhere between then and now, everything got lost. That cocky, party boy rookie disappeared into the mature, man today. His father’s gone and the company that should’ve been theirs, his and Kelley’s, Kerry’s and Taylor’s, is nothing but in name.

The dreams he had are still there. Tarnished in their glory but still a weight on his mind. Wins. A Championship. He wants more. He wants one. He wants to be his father’s son but himself at the same time.

He’s where he should be. Hendrick Motorsports. Best equipment in the sport right now yet he’s still running midpack or worse and that fucking stings. Week after week it doesn’t change. He tries to make it work. With everything HMS has, it should work but no matter what he says on the radio it only gets worse.

So here they are today. Dover, Delaware. May 29th, 2009. Tony Jr’s off to the R&D department and it hurts he’s happy about it. He hasn’t had a chance to talk to him, just secondhand messages and damnit, couldn’t they have given him more time? Time to process, to deal, without the media seizing every moment of devastation to fuel their stories?

It’s personal, it’s private, and maybe business never should’ve mixed with family but fuck, it worked in the beginning. Couldn’t it have worked a little longer?

It’s a testament to Rick that he trusts his decision. He knows if this is what Rick felt needed to be done then it had to be done. So this weekend he has to make it work. Make sure that all those resources poured into his team, everything, goes the right way. Or who knows? Maybe he’ll go by way of Brian Vickers and Casey Mears. He doesn’t want to leave HMS. It’s felt like home in a way DEI never did. His last name may’ve been on the building and the people he worked with might as well have been family but it just wasn’t home. He had too much to think about, too much to live up to, to really fit in.

Getting away from there was supposed to get him away from that. This isn’t what he signed up for. It’s not what he wanted when he came to Hendrick. He signed up to run up front, to fight his teammates for wins and Championships. To date, he’s been nothing but a disappointment. He might as well give up his ride to Brad so they can keep him.

So it goes on. It’s another weekend, another race, with the final prize in sight of making the Chase. Top 12 in points. Lance says it’s possible when they get everything going like the rest of the company. But it still feels wrong, it still sucks that the dream that should’ve come true won’t. Another thing that fades into memory and wishes.

He’ll go on. They all will. They have to. It’s the nature of the sport. Up, down, never in one place for long. If only he could get on that roll everyone finds at some point in their careers. He’d like that for just a little bit. Just to see how it feels. 2004 feels like so long ago. They’ve been at the bottom for so long a rise to the top seems like just another dream.

Maybe dreams will come true this time.

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Zippit - zippit@cryptoffic.com