This is Becoming a Bad Pattern

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Summary: In the face of the Martinsville tragedy, two teammates find solace.

AUTHOR: Shadow
EMAIL: brendansshadow@aol.com
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTERS: Jeff Gordon, Brian Vickers. Jeff POV.
CATEGORY: Angst
DISCLAIMER: This is the product of an overactive imagination. I do not know any of the characters. I do not own any of the names. I do not have any inside knowledge. I am merely a fan with too much time on her hands.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I don't own Jeff Gordon, Brian Vickers, Ricky Hendrick, or Rick Hendrick, The rest is just a product of an overactive imagination. I own the thoughts, ideas, and plot. This is 100% fiction. No inside knowledge is claimed or assumed
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Ave atque vale. Requescat in pacem.

‘This is becoming a bad pattern,’ Jeff thinks to himself watching the sleeping form next to him. Jeff hears him whimper slightly in his sleep. ‘Well, at least he’s sleeping for now. These next days will be rough on him.’ Jeff frowns. Again, he’s whimpering. Jeff reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder in comfort. The young man instantly begins to quiet down.

Jeff, on the other hand, was wide awake. He remembered the uneasy feeling before the race. Something was wrong. He hadn’t been able to place his finger on it then. He had the usual heckling fans at Martinsville. They were easy to ignore but that wasn’t the only thing bothering him.

It was cold standing next to his car as well. The warm, team-issued coat wasn’t stopping the shivers that kept going through him. He was ready for pre-race to be over so he could get into his comfortable cocoon and work. He’d be all alone in this cocoon. Well, except for the forty-two other drivers in hurtling pieces of metal, the thousands of fans in the stands, and the millions watching on TV. Another cold chill...thank God. He’s finally called to get in his car.

Then Victory Lane’s called short, he’s called to the “Oval Office” and told the terrible news. He looks at his racing family, an odd-assortment of drivers and crew chiefs, who are just as stunned as he is. How can they have lost Ricky, Randy, and Joe in one afternoon? Who will take care of Rick’s interests at the shop? A whole myriad of thoughts tumble through his head. All he wanted to do was go home and plan how to help Rick get through the next few days, weeks, months,...years?

It played like a laundry list over-and-over in his head. What he still didn’t understand is why? Ricky was going to be a good owner. He was going to stay the top driver for a few more years. And then he was going to continue to co-own with Ricky. And, now, he came home to an empty house.

He’d forgotten one person in the equation of sympathies when his door bell rang. He opened the door to Brian Vickers. If Brian looked as devastated as he felt, then Jeff didn’t know how he had driven himself to the house.

“Brian, what are you doing here?”

“The house was empty. I couldn’t be alone. It’s my birthday. How could God have taken another friend? I didn’t know where else to go.” His words tumble from his lips.

Jeff is struck by how terribly young his teammate is and how even younger he looks. He remembers being that young and lost but things were different. He’d had Brooke to come home to instead of an empty... “Come in, Brian. My house is empty too.”

“I miss him already, Jeff. How can you go on? I made it through Adam but Ricky too?” Jeff guides him to the couch and gives him a gentle push. Brian sits down and gazes up at him with pleading eyes. “I don’t think I can do this again.”

“You have to. I’ve been there myself.” He sighs. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Jeff looks down at the coffee table realizing that he’d just sat down with a bottle of Crown Royal and a glass himself. “How about a Pepsi?”

“Does the alcohol help? I’ve drank before but not to forget.”

“It comes back. You never really do forget. Thanks for reminding me,” he picks up the bottle and takes it back to the cabinet and places it inside. He walks on to the kitchen and grabs a couple of Pepsi’s out of the refrigerator and hands one to Brian. “It doesn’t get any easier. I tried burying myself in alcohol after Dale died. I still miss his guidance and I finished off my marriage. The alcohol didn’t help.”

“So, I’ve basically got to ‘suck it up?’”

“No. You’ve got to go on and make Ricky proud of you. He’d want you to continue. He knew that you are a talented driver. Now, you just have to prove it to everyone else.”

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I can’t go back to that empty apartment.”

“No. Not at all Brian.”

They sat up late into the night reminiscing over Pepsi’s and cold pizza. When Brian got too sleepy to talk, Jeff guided him to the guest bedroom. Jeff pulled a blanket up over his young teammate.

“Thank you, Jeff,” he murmurs sleepily.

Jeff had tried to sleep himself. He had ended up in here with Brian after about a half-hour. Brian had started to dream. And this dream had included whimpering. Jeff lay down next to him and his mere presence was enough to comfort.

Wide awake. As long as Brian was comforted, he was fine being awake. He had lain awake before...all night after Dale had died. Again the whimper, he placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder. Brian fell deeper into sleep.

Jeff prayed for the victims that night, their families, and for his friend, Brian. The “Drive for Five” was no longer just a dream it was now a reality. He had to do this. He sighed and closed his eyes. The morning was closer than he wanted to face. He would have to be brave for his team and carry them forward. Ricky demanded it.

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Shadow - brendansshadow@aol.com