Beside, he had met someone else and he looked really happy. That’s when Buffy had started to question the…relationship she had with Spike. And after one of their usual quarrel, she had broken up with him. For good.

But it didn’t make her feel any better. Oh no. Since then she was feeling much, much worse.

And tonight, at Anya and Xander’s wedding reception, he had arrived with a girl. A pretty girl, she had to admit. Dark hair, looking fragile and pale. In fact, she looked a little bit like Drusilla. And she was wearing a beautiful dress.

Unfortunately, Buffy couldn’t say the same. Anya’s choice for the bridesmaids dress had been disastrous, and all day Buffy had felt like a giant cake with too much lace and too much flounces.

She went to the buffet, wondering how to get the information she wanted. Because she would rather cut her tongue than ask him. Finally, he was the one to make the move.

- Evenin’ Slayer.

She turned to him, trying to keep a straight face. He was wearing his usual clothes, except for that blue-jean shirt he had also wore the day he had confessed his love to her. How could she remember that detail ? Oh yes, maybe because he had chained her at his wall ! God, I am so over that freak, she thought with a perfect dishonesty.

- Spike. Ever heard of the word “ Tuxedo” ?

He shrugged.

- Anya said it was not formal. And the rest of the guests are not really formal either.

Buffy looked at the crowd. Except for Xander’s family and the Scooby gang, all the other guests were Anya’s friend, which meant a colorful genre of different demons and other weird…things. But with good intentions only. At least for tonight.

- Are you having fun ? Spike asked.

- I suppose.

She wasn’t since she had saw him with her but she wouldn’t tell him that, for the world.

After a few seconds, she couldn’t help herself.

- Who is she ?

- Who…Oh, you mean Nancy. Well…it’s Nancy.

Ok, now she was much more enlightened.

- Nancy…nice name, she said with so much disdain he had to laugh.

- You mean compare to “Buffy” ?

She gave him a murderous look and leaned closer too him.

- You seemed to like it when you were whispering your eternal love to me…

His smile faded.

- Back off, Slayer. We broke up, remember ? And it was your bloody decision. Not mine.

- You’re right. I don’t know why I am talking to you anyway.

The mockery grin came back.

- Because you were dying to know who Nancy was.

Oh God, was he reading her mind ? Or was she so obvious ? She laughed nervously.

- Well, I still don’t know and I so don’t care.

- You’re jealous.

She felt a traitorous blushing attack coming and tried to calm down.

- Right. Welcome to Dreamland, Spike. Oh, and does she know who you are ?

He noticed she had said “who” and not “what”. It pleased him and he felt furious that she was still able to touch him.

- Of course. She’s like me.

- Oh…

That explained the Drusilla look-alike.

- I hope she fed already.

- Yeah…on me. It was really neat.

Buffy made a “euwww” face.

- Do you really think I want to hear that ?

- You asked, Summers.

- Not that ! Urgh…I so need to go away from here.

She left but he called her back.

- Hey, Slayer…Nice dress.

If she had had a stake, it would have been his last words.

Buffy ran to the Lady’s room and locked herself in one of the stales. She was so humiliated that she was trembling all over. To her horror, she felt tears threatening to overflow. Why did he treat her like that ? Because that’s the way you treated him before, a little voice said in her head. Now you know what it feels like.

She suddenly felt so empty. The anger had left place to nothing but hurt. And she finally admitted she was terribly, tremendously jealous. Because she loved him, like she had never loved someone before. Not even Angel ! Angel had been her first teenage, tender love. But Spike…Spike had been the first to make her feel like a woman. A very desirable woman. Wanted and loved.

Enough ! she thought, wiping her eyes. It was too late. She had ruined everything between them. She always did. Her love life was a disaster, and she’d better get use to it.

She got out and found Willow in front of the mirror. The witch looked even worse than Buffy in that dress. Buffy really started to wonder if Anya hadn’t chosen those awful dresses on purpose. Willow looked at Buffy closely.

- What’s the matter ? You’re all flushed.

- It’s nothing.

- I saw you talking to Spike. Did he upset you ?

- Yeah…understatement of the year, muttered Buffy.

- Is it because he came with a girl ?

- Ah ! I couldn’t care less who Spike is dating, she said, emphasizing the last word.

Willow looked at her, startled.

- Do you know who she is ?

- Some chick named Nancy…like I care.

- Yeah, you said that already.

- Well, because I do…I mean, I don’t.

She washed her hands and dried them furiously. Willow took the towel before Buffy peel all her skin away.

- Buffy, what’s wrong with you ?

Buffy breathed deeply. She looked at her reflection. Could there be something more horrible than that dress ? Even the demons outside were not a match for it.

She turned to Willow.

- There’s nothing wrong. I just had a moment of weakness.

- I don’t see what’s wrong with that, said Willow, concerned about the cold face Buffy was making.

- Buffy, we’re friends. Best friends. If there is something you want to tell me…

- No, Buffy interrupted her, with a very well-done fake smile. Don’t worry. Everything is perfectly fine.

Right, Willow thought. Like Hell it was.

Anya and Xander had left the party, and Buffy was seriously considering doing the same. Well, actually she was considering fleeing. Running like mad away from this place, where she had to bear the vision of Spike nuzzling his girlfriends’neck and whispering silly things in her hear that made her laugh stupidly. When she laughs her eyes are rolling and she looks like a frog, thought Buffy very uncharitably. For a moment, she had considered the possibility to stake her. After all, she was a vampire. It was Buffys’ duty to stake them. A huge responsability she had always taken seriously. Nothing to do with the fact that she was dating Spike. Of course not.

She found Dawn half-asleep on a chair.

- C’mon, Dawnie, we’re going home.

Her sister yawned.

- Great idea. Where’s Willow ?

- She has left already. She had to meet some friends from university at the Bronze.

In the car, Dawn said:

- It was a nice wedding. Anya and Xander looked really happy.

- Yeah, they were.

- Geez, Buffy. Calm down your enthusiasm.

The Slayer came with the first lame excuse that crossed her mind.

- Sorry. Major headache.

Dawn gave her a dubious look.

- You mean major Spikeache.

- No !

- It’s because he showed up with that girl.

Buffy sighed. She was about to deny it again, but was tired of it. Besides, it was her sister she was talking to.

- Is it so obvious ? I mean, is it written all over my face ?

- Sort of, said Dawn, smiling.

They arrived at Revello Drive and Buffy parked the car. They entered through the back door. Dawn got serious again.

- Why don’t you admit you have feelings for him ?

Buffy came with the second lame excuse of the night.

- He’s a vampire, Dawn !

- Duh ! Been there, done that.

- Yeah, well the first experience wasn’t really the kind you want to repeat all over again.

- Who said you had to ? You can make it different.

- I don’t know.

- I know that Spike loves you, Buffy. Hey, I was the first to notice it ! And he is sincere. You know how serious he is about this.

Buffy suddenly broke down in tears.

- Then why did he show up with another girl if he loves me that much ?

She heard that voice again : because you broke up with him, you fool.

- Stupid jerk ! she said, wiping her tears.

- Something happened between you two, Dawn said, and it was more a statement than a question.

Buffy shrugged, blowing her nose.

- Yeah, well, nothing that mattered.

- It has to, considering the way you’re reacting. Let me guess. You got close, you got scared and shove him away. Am I right ?

- You’ve got psychic powers now ?

- It’s not difficult to understand, Buffy. That is what you always do.

Buffy sat down, misery written all over her face.

- There must be something so very wrong with me. I am a Vampire Slayer and I fall in love with vampires.

Dawn smiled.

- So you admit it.

Buffy stayed silent for a moment. Dawn started to think she had got in denial mode again. But then Buffy said very calmly:

- Yes, I do. It scares me to death, but I do.

She felt like a big weight had been lift off her shoulder.

Dawn realized it was time for the final blow.

- Buffy, you know I love Spike very much and may think I’m not quite objective on this. But I am. I know he tried to kill you several times. But so did you. And now he’s in love with you. And so are you ! Talk about perfect timing !

- Dawn, I think it’s a little bit more complicated…

- No, it’s not ! Spike has saved our lives numerous times, he has changed, and I don’t think that chip has nothing to do with it anymore. I mean that’s what stopped him at the beginning, but nobody forced him to do what he did to help us. It was his own choice, because that’s what he really is, Buffy. And if you like…no, if you love him, you have no right to deny it. Don’t waste that chance, Buffy. Not this time.

Buffy felt really shaken by Dawn’s speech. Her sister was so right ! How come she hadn’t figured all that by herself ?

She smiled.

- Who died and made you the relationship expert ?

- I just told what happened in front of my face…and yours.

Buffy nodded. Then she hugged her sister tightly.

- Thank you Dawn. I love you.

- I’m not the one you’re supposed to tell…and what are you still doing here ?

Buffy prepared to leave then stopped.

- Wait ! There’s no way I am going to tell Spike I love him in thit poor excuse for a dress !

She changed herself quickly before leaving.

When she arrived at Spike’s door, Buffy hesitated for a moment. To admit she loves Spike was one thing, but telling him was a complete different story !

She opened the door. She heard Spike talking to someone.

Oh, God…How could she had not thought that…

Nancy was there.

Buffy tried to turn back but it was too late. Spike had noticed her.

- Slayer ? Is that you ?

Buffy took a deep breath and came in nonchalantly.

- I was patrolling.

Third lame excuse of the evening.

Spike watched her ironically.

- Right…oh, you haven’t met Nancy, have you ?

- No. And I don’t wish to.

Buffy approached the girl slowly, playing with her stake. The girl gave a frightful glance at Spike and Buffy felt childishly happy about it.

- Get out, she said with her most stone-cold voice.

Buffy was ready to fight, but the vampiress didn’t seem to. As soon as Buffy raised her stake a little bit, she ran away. Buffy turned to Spike who as staring at her with his arms crossed on his chest.

- I hope I did interrupt something, she said.

- You know, Slayer, I don’t think I like the way you’re treating my friends.

- You should be glad I didn’t stake her. Because that’s what I do.

- Yeah, like you staked me for the past five years.

- Call yourself lucky. And what exactly did you see in her ?

He shrugged.

- Strictly nothing. I hired her.

That shut up Buffy for a few minutes.

- What ?

- I barely know her. In fact, I am not even sure she’s called Nancy. I just paid her to accompany me, hoping to get a reaction from you.

Buffy was stunned.

- I can’t believe you did that.

He made an arrogant face.

- Well, I did and I am bloody well glad of it. Because guess who’s suddenly visiting me in the middle of the night ? Yes, it’s Buffy !

She stared at him, expressionless. Spike started to feel a little uneasy. Maybe it was not a good idea to tell her…

- So, what are you going to do ? Stake me ? Because, oh yes, that’s “what you do” !

He got in defensive mode, because he had no idea what she was about to do. But he didn’t like that pissed-off face she was making.

- Get undress.

Spike stayed motionless for a moment. Then:

- What ?

- Get. Undress. Or I’ll stake you.

Her face was still a blank page. Spike didn’t remember ever seeing her like that. Was she…yeah, she was.

- You’re serious about this, aren’t you ?

She seemed to consider it, then said:

- It’s a matter of life and death…or, undeath.

A smile slowly appeared on her face. Spike felt way much better.

He started to take off his clothes, under Buffy’s appreciative glance.

Once naked, he waited for her to make the next move. He knew she wouldn’t disappoint him.

Buffy put her stake on a table and approached him while slowly unfastening her blouse. Then her bra. Then she pressed her breasts again his alabaster chest. She could feel he was already very aroused. But he didn’t touch her. He didn’t dare, afraid she would vanished and all of this would be another wonderful dream followed by a painful awakening.

But it was not. Buffy put her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his cheek. A very chaste kiss. But he had never felt so alive since he had died.

- Spike…she whispered.

- Yes…

His voice was so hoarse he barely recognized it.

- Do you want me ?

He inhaled her skin-scent deeply.

- Oh, God, yes Buffy, I want you.

- Then take me.

Much much later, they were cuddling against each other in the bed. After the passion, it was time for a little tenderness. Spike was putting gentle kiss along her neck and he could have swear she was purring.

- So, Sunshine…

- Mmm..?

- What was that all about ?

She turned to him, smiling sweetly.

- What ? You didn’t like it ?

- Hell, I loved it ! I am just surprised, is all. You didn’t seem…

- I changed my mind. That’s a women’s privilege. And I hope you saw it.

- Saw what ?

- How much I love you, she said then kissed him.

Spike had a really hard time believing what she had just said. His whole being wanted it so much…

He got up on his elbow and watched her very seriously.

- And that change of mind…How long will it last ?

- A very, very, very long time…if that’s ok with you.

He looked into her eyes and realized she was completely honest with him. No denial, no run-away anymore…only the reflection of his own love.

- That’s perfectly fine…oh, and did I mentioned I love you too ?

- You’d better ! After all the troubles you’ve put me through…

He laughed.

- Yeah; like you made my life a soddin’ fairytale.

- I just did now, she said with a lascivious stare.

- Yep, you got me there.

He traced a finger along her stomach and her thighs and she closed her eyes, feeling the pleasure rise again. Then Spike said quietly:

- Buffy, I want you to do me a favor…

After what his hand was doing to her she was definitely not in a position to deny him anything.

- What, my love ?

He gently lick her neck before whispering in her ear:

- Please don’t wear that bridesmaid dress ever again…

FIN