CoF - Sophie - Home

Buffy was turning and returning the letter in her hands. She couldn’t believe it, although she should have seen it coming.

The last few months had been hell. With Tara’s death, Willow going crazy and Anya back to the vengeance…she must admit money had been the least of her concern.

Her mother had taken out a mortgage a few years ago, and with all the events that had happened, Buffy had kind of forgot there were payments to make.

She realized now that she had been highly irresponsible, considering she had a teenage sister to take care of, bills to pay, food to put on the table.

And she was paying the price. How was she going to tell that to Dawn? They had so many memories here. Not necessarily good ones. Her mother had died here. They had all been stuck inside with a dangerous
demon on her last birthday. Tara had been shot in her mom’s room…

But still, it was home. The place where the Scoobies came when they were hurting, something which had happened way too often lately.

And now, the core itself of the Scoobies had been torn apart. Anya had gone to England with Giles, Xander had received an interesting job offer in San Fransisco. Willow was still there, but she was just starting to recover, and Buffy was afraid sometimes of the emptiness reflected in her friend’s eyes. And their relationship had been severely bruised.

With a sigh, she sat down on the kitchen’s island, putting her head in the
circle of her arms. She would not cry. She had no tears left. But once again, she felt that awful loneliness she constantly lived with.
Since he had left.

When Dawn came back a little later that day, she heard her sister talking on the phone in the kitchen. She was about to let her know she was there when she heard Buffy’s words.

“I haven’t told Dawn yet…I received the letter this morning. How am I going to tell her we have to leave our house?”

Dawn stopped dead in her track. What? What was Buffy talking about?
There was a short silence while the other person probably said something, then Buffy said while sighing:

“Yes, that’s another problem. I really have no idea what to do with her. I feel like I have to play mom 24/7, and sometimes…it really gets on my nerves.”

Feeling suddenly very cold, Dawn stepped back and silently climbed the stairs. She didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation.

“Don’t get me wrong, Willow’s still my friend, but she’s not the same anymore, as you can imagine…and our relationship has suffered a lot.”

“I’m afraid you haven’t seen the end of the tunnel yet,” Giles said on the other end of the phone. After a slight hesitation, he asked “Buffy, if you need me…”

“No, Giles. If you have to come over each time things are not perfect,
you might as well move back in! I’ll handle it. I’ll find a solution. We always do.”

“Thanks. Knowing you’re there, even far away…it’s comforting. Take care…Bye.”

Buffy hung up, fighting back tears. She went to the living room, and sat on the couch. Hearing Giles’ voice had made her feel lonelier then ever. But she couldn’t be dependant on him anymore. She had to take matters in hands and solve her own problems.

Sitting on her bed, Dawn was staring into space. She didn’t feel like crying, or whining. Those were two things she had been very good at the past two years.

In less than one minute, two things had struck her: they were homeless, and she was a burden for Buffy. She had suspected her sister was feeling that way. After all, Dawn wasn’t meant to be. She had always been a burden, considering she was a young teenager with no special skills…she wasn’t a witch, like Tara, or an ex-demon back into vengeance like Anya…she was useless.

She shook herself. Be careful, Dawn. You’re back on the whining, self-pity bandwagon.

She had been thinking about this for some time. Now it seemed the most logical thing to do.

“This is so much harder than I thought. I just wanted us to be a family again. And I love him so much. He’s my son.”

“I know, Angel. I love him too. Just give him more time. He needs to get to know us better.”

Angel looked at her with sadness in his eyes. He loved Cordelia so much and he was glad she was here, but he could not forget the two weeks he had spent at the bottom of the sea so easily. He could not totally forgive Connor like he wanted to. He didn’t understand why the boy hadn’t tried to talk to him first. He had condemned him immediately, and that total lack of trust between them was making the communication very hard.

Connor was tired. Being back at the hotel with Angel and the others after what he had done was not easy. Everybody, especially Gunn and Fred, were constantly watching him wondering what bad thing he would do next, and sometimes he thought he never should have come back. He would have been fine on his own. But he craved the love and the warmth of a place he could call home.

“Connor is so unpredictable, so wild, so untamed…I just don’t know how to deal with him most of the time…He doesn’t want to let us in…”

“Well, he was certainly more easy to deal with when he was a baby,” Cordélia said, trying to lighten Angel’s mood a little bit, and God knows it was not an easy task!

“I don’t know how to approach him. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing he came back from Quor-Toth like that…”

Connor froze, horrified. His father didn’t want him. He should have known…he was just a burden for them, an annoyance. After all, he wasn’t meant to be, right? The child of two vampires…what good could ever come of that ?

Cordelia and Angel were still talking, but he didn’t want to hear it anymore. He ran to his bedroom.

He took his backpack out of his closet and filled it with clothes and the letter Holtz had left him before he died.

Tomorrow, when everybody woke up, they wouldn’t have to bother with him anymore.

“…I mean it would have been so much easier if he was still a baby. I know it’s stupid to think that way…and I love him, no matter what. I really want us to have a special relationship…to be a father for him.”

“Angel, I told you, you have to give him and yourself some time. It’s as hard for him as it is for you,” Cordelia said gently. “You know, Connor made his share of mistakes in the past few months and he probably feels horrible and all. Just be yourself with him and things will get better, I’m sure.”

Buffy hesitated, not knowing how to tell her the news. After a moment, cowardly, she didn’t say anything. Later, she decided. No need to upset Dawn too soon. But even to her own ears that excuse sounded lame.
She just had no idea how to tell her younger sister that they would be homeless in two months.

“I’m going patrolling later tonight,” she said. “Would you like to come with me?”

Dawn had been patrolling and training with her lately, and she had done pretty well, forcing Buffy to admit her sister was not a little girl anymore. After all, she was sixteen, the same age she had been when she was called.

“Everything’s fine. It’s just…school starts again in one week…you see.”

“Why would I? She’s such fun to be with…”muttered the teenager in a sarcastic tone.

“Don’t say that! You know it’s not true.” Buffy said, though the thought had crossed her mind.

“You know it is true, Buffy. If she hadn’t used so much magic, Tara wouldn’t have broken up with her. And things would have been different, she maybe wouldn’t have been in her room when Warren came and thought he was John Wayne.”

“You don’t know that. Sweetie, I know you miss Tara…I do too. And Willow…I know she did terrible things. I don’t know how to deal with her myself most of the time. But in some way, I try to understand her. If Warren had shot you…I probably would have done some terrible things myself.”

“That’s possible. But we’ll never know, right? Like we don’t know why Spike suddenly left…”

“I know what Xander told you. He wasn’t there, he doesn’t know what actually happened. I don’t want to think about it anymore. That’s the past. I put all of that behind me.”

Buffy didn’t answer. How could she explain…there was not a single day when she hadn’t thought about him. Each time she saw a platinum-blond head, her heart was beating faster, only to break a little bit more because of the disappointment. When she closed her eyes, the only thing she saw was his face.

Smiling at her. His hoarse voice whispering love words…but then that ugly scene in the bathroom appeared and ruined everything.
She shook her head.

“Me too” said Dawn, and there was an moment of understanding between the two sisters.

But then Dawn’s expression got serious again, like she had let herself go and regretted it.

Dawn didn’t answer and went back upstairs. In a way, Buffy understood her sister’s reaction. The last two years…the only real ones of her existence, had been hell. And things weren’t going to get better anytime soon…

Everyone was asleep, now, finally, and he knew no one would see him leave. No one would stop him now. He was almost at the door when he realized that he had nothing to trade if he ever needed anything, and
Angel had explained to him that in order to trade in this world he needed small pieces of papers and coins called money. He understood the system since they had something quite similar in Quor-Toth.

Connor looked around, realizing that in this world he wouldn’t go far without money. He suddenly remembered that Angel Investigations had closed a case that same day and the client had paid in cash, so the money was probably still there at the reception.

He walked to it and tried to open the drawer. It was locked. Connor frowned. He had wanted to be discreet, but if he wanted to open the drawer he would have to make some noise. He went to the weaponry closet and retrieved an axe. He walked back to the office, closing the door behind him, hoping it would be enough to muffle the noise he was about to make. With one expert hit, Connor broke the lock and opened the drawer. He took the money, putting some in his pocket, some in his bag, and some in his socks. That was something else Gunn had taught him, not to put all his money at the same place.

He stood up, took his bag, and walked out of the office - out of the hotel
and on the street towards the bus station.

Dawn watched her alarm clock. One am. The house was silent. Willow was probably sleeping, and Buffy wouldn’t be back from patrol for an hour. And she had put pillows and stuff under her comforter, just in case her sister checked on her.

Carefully, she went downstairs. She walked out of the house, without turning back. Next stop, the Magic Box.

She was holding a stake firmly in her hand, just in case she met some evil nasties. All those hours spent patrolling with Buffy would be at least useful.

Once at the Magic Box, she put her bag on the bench and started to
unlock the door with her hairpin like Spike had done the day they had broken into the shop, two years ago. The memory brought unwanted tears to Dawn’s eyes, but she wiped them away hastily. Now, more then ever, she was feeling the pain of his absence.

Inside the shop, she went directly to the training room where she knew Buffy and Rebecca (The friend of Giles who was running the shop now) hid some money.

Of course, stealing money was not the cleverest thing to do. Buffy needed it desperately, especially now. But Giles would probably send some more to help. And she intended to give it back, one day. So that was not really stealing. More like borrowing. And she felt less guilty
thinking of it that way.

There was more money that she had counted on, so she didn’t take all of it. What she took should be enough to help her starting over.
Wherever that may be.

Buffy came back from patrol, exhausted. The slaying had been non-existent tonight. Which was bad, because then she had plenty of time to think. And thinking was definitely not of the good. Especially when it involved a bleached blond British vampire.

So she had walked and walked until she was too tired to think of anything but her bed. She had even managed to avoid his crypt. ‘Hurray for me’ she thought bitterly.

She felt a too familiar sob growing in her chest, but she repressed it. Hell, that’s all she was good at, lately. Crying. She was better at crying than slaying. She had turned into her sister.

‘No, that’s not fair’ she thought. Dawn had changed a lot. She had grown up. There was that look in her eyes…a grown up look. Maturity. A little too much, maybe.

She didn’t open her sister’s door, afraid to wake her up. Dawn was probably sleeping.

Well, her duties for tonight were over. Like Scarlett O’Hara had said, tomorrow was another day.

After a quick shower, Buffy climbed in her bed and fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

~*~ CHAPTER 1 – Going and Leaving ~*~

Dawn hadn’t expected the bus station terminal to be that big. For the first time, she started to wonder if her leaving was a good idea. Oh come on, you made it as far as L.A, you’re not gonna chicken out now. But for a moment she had been tempted to forget all her resolutions and run to the Hyperion, asking Angel or Cordelia to bring her back to Sunnydale.

It was only 8 am, but there were already a lot of people waiting for their busses. A little lost, she finally headed for the ticket counters. Although it may be a good idea to decide first where she wanted to go.

Dawn refused to think that what she was doing was crazy. She knew it. If the police for some reason caught her, she would be in trouble. She was still under age. Once in Seattle, she would have to find somewhere to live, a job…

But Buffy had done it before her. That summer, after sending Angel to Hell. So there was no reason Dawn couldn’t make it too.

She bought a ticket, went back to the main hall. She spotted a young guy about her age, alone. The look on his face hit her. Very lost, but trying very hard not to show it. Exactly like her. Before realizing it, she was standing in front of him.

His gaze met hers. Wow. What pain and anger were in those eyes. She lost her focus for a mere second.

The guy stared at her for a minute before answering “That one” and showing a big white bus with – as Dawn noticed, a little embarrassed – a ‘Seattle’ sign on it.

The bus was leaving in thirty minutes, so she already took her seat inside. She could use a little sleep.

Connor had no idea where Seattle was but it was a rather expensive destination, which meant it was probably far. He bought a ticket and went back to the main hall. It was only 8 am and the bus wasn’t leaving before 8.30, so he had time.

He began to look around him to observe all the people. This world was still so strange to him. On Quortoth, Holtz and him had been the only humans but here, there were humans everywhere, and they were all so different. He remembered the first time he had seen Gunn, he had wondered what type of paint he used to keep his skin so brown. And then he had seen more and more black people, Latinos and Asiatic, and he had understood there were a lot of different types of humans, even if they were all the same species. That had been one of the many surprises this world had to offer.

Another surprising thing was that most humans were unaware of demons. Rarely would demons been seen during the day, and if people saw some of them at night sometimes, they would prefer denying it, blaming the shades or the bad lightning.

Angel had told him that even Connor himself would probably be considered abnormal because of his speed and strength. Connor had frowned at that.

He * was * normal. Would people really consider him some kind of freak? He was a demon hunter, someone who fought the good fight. But Angel had explained to him that sometimes it was just not enough, that people got scared of what they couldn’t comprehend.

Connor had been observing people for a while, learning from them what seemed to be normal when suddenly a girl materialized in front of him. She was a very pretty girl about his age, with long dark-brown hair and blue eyes.

She seemed a little lost, and he could totally rely to that. She saw her climbing in the bus, and resisted the urge to follow her. The last thing he needed right now was to get involved with some girl. Even if she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Dawn woke up a little later. The bus was moving. She checked her watch. She had been sleeping for one hour.
She opened her backpack and took some pastries she had bought. The person beside her stirred, and she realized it was the cute guy from the bus station. So, he was going to Seattle also. He seemed to be sleeping, or lost in some reverie. Dawn took the opportunity to look at him.

He was really cute. But his hair was funny, all messed up. And it needed a good cut. His fashion sense was also very special. Not really the kind of guy Dawn used to hang out with. But she couldn’t help remember the pain and anger she had read in his eyes. It seemed he had his share of suffering. Well, she thought, welcome to the club.

She couldn’t chase that feeling of guilt away. Guilt for leaving her sister like that. Now Buffy would be all alone, except for Willow.

Giles had sent Willow in England to a place where she could be healed. Then, with the help of Anya, Xander and Buffy they had rebuilt the Magic Box again. Some of Xander’s construction buddies had come to help, and within two month it was brand new again. Then Giles had decided to go back to England, and to everyone’s surprise, Anya had announced that she was going with him. If something had been going on between them, they had stayed very discreet. Anya was still a vengeance demon, but it didn’t seem to bother Giles. And after all, he couldn’t pretend to be 100 % normal either….

Things hadn’t finally worked out between Xander and Anya. There had been too much pain and anger. She couldn’t get over the fact that he had left her at the altar, and he really had troubles forgiving her little misstep with Spike.

Spike had been MIA for more than three months now. He had left without even a goodbye. Which seemed normal, considering the circumstances…but she still wanted to hear his version of the story. Assuming, of course, that he would come back…and that she would come back too. She knew Spike’s abrupt departure had hurt Buffy. More than she admitted it. Dawn had sometimes caught her sister caressing the leather jacket well hid in the closet…or just staring at it with a sad expression.

When Willow had come back, things had improved a little bit. Buffy and her had had a heart to heart talk. Of course, it hadn’t been all forgive and forget. Forgiving took time and there was no way either of them could ever forget. And even if herself had kept her distances with Willow, Dawn was happy that her big sister got her best friend back.

He didn’t want to, at first. He couldn’t consider leaving Buffy, Willow and Dawn. They needed him, and he needed them, especially since Anya’s departure. He had buried himself in work, and his boss had offered him a temporary job in San Francisco on a big construction site. He was going to be promoted and in charge of an entire crew. That was a great opportunity for him, both financially and professionally. But mentally, he felt really bad about the idea of leaving his three girls behind. Especially – and Xander hated to admit it but it was the truth – now that Spike wasn’t there to help them anymore. Not that his idea of help had been very successful in the end with Anya and Buffy…

Finally, it had been Willow who had convinced Xander to leave. He badly needed the change of scenery. And it would be for a few months only.

Willow had then re-apply to UC Sunnydale, and as soon as it started she would move back to the dorm. Buffy had quit the Doublemeat Palace and found a job as a waitress in a nice little restaurant. The rest of the time, she was supervising the Magic Box with Rebecca. Rebecca was an old English lady, a friend of Giles. She wanted to move to California, so Giles had offered her to run the Magic Box, as well as moving in his old apartment. She had accepted gladly, as she was a little bit into magic herself, and she had got along with the girls just fine.

A growl in her stomach reminded Dawn she had barely ate anything beside that pastry this morning. She took an apple from her bag.

The boy next to her was watching her. He really had a funny look. But, she thought for the zillion times, he was cute. She smiled to him.

Connor had no idea how long he would have to stay there, in his seat, but after a few hours, he was anxious to move and walk again. He looked around him and saw that most people were sleeping, even his pretty neighbor. He had sit next to her because he had been the last one to get in the bus and it was the only seat left vacant.
He didn’t feel tired. He just felt sad.

Life had not been easy in the last few month – Hell, it had never been easy. But just when he started to believe that Angel really wanted to be with him, he discovered things were not as good as he had imagined, and that his father hadn’t really forgiven him like he had said.

Of course, he had to admit that what he had done was not easily forgivable. After all, he had sunk his father into the bottom of the sea.

He remember these few weeks well, he remembered finding Holtz’ body with two puncture holes in the neck, as if a vampire had drained him. He remembered the rage he had felt and the assumption that Angel had been the one to do this, assumption only fueled by an equally angry Justine.

He hadn’t recognize her at first, and he hadn’t wondered who she was, too preoccupied with his own grief. She had helped him to exercise his vengeance, as if she had something personal against Angel herself.

After they had sent Angel’s metal coffin at the bottom of the sea, she had invited him to stay with her, telling him how good a fighter he was and that they would make a perfect team. Lonely and disoriented, Connor had followed her in the hope he would find acceptance with her, or something resembling a family. Like he and Holtz had been, and like Angel and his team had also seemed to be before he found out the awful truth.

But he had soon been bitterly disappointed. Justine had been violent, ruthless and highly unstable. He doubted anybody had ever seen that side of her personality. She was also a fanatic and didn’t trust the people who didn’t see the world like her. Of all the scary things he had met in his life, Connor started to consider Justine as one of them.

Two weeks after he had get rid of Angel, Connor was roaming the streets and ended up at a bar, downtown, that he had previously visited with his Holtz. The bar was the propriety of a law firm and generally full of demons and such. So he didn’t feel too much displaced there.

“Wait a minute, I recognize you. Connor, isn’t it? You’re Angel’s son. How come your father let you come here?”

But even more surprised was Connor. How the Hell did she know all that stuff about me? he wondered.

“No way! Angel killing a human would already be very surprising, but sucking somebody dry…that’s near impossible. Unless he’s back to being Angelus.

Because Angel hasn’t feed from a human since he got his soul back, except one time, about four years ago when he got poisoned and his girlfriend beat him into feeding from her. No, Angel would have not done that. Angelus could have, but not Angel. He has too much of a conscience to do that.

“I’m Lilah Morgan, from Wolfram & Hart. And believe me, Angel and his alter ego Angelus are my specialty.”

That discussion had got Connor seriously thinking. What if Angel had been honest all along? What if he hasn’t been the one who had killed Holtz? What if Holtz letter really meant what it said, that he should go back to leave with Angel and give him a chance?

With his new disturbing knowledge, Connor had been back to the place where he had found the dead Holtz being held by Justine. And now that he could think more calmly, he was seeing things he hadn’t seen before. Like the significant amount of blood on the floor, blood that would not have been there if a vampire had really drained Holtz. Looking around, Connor found a bloody ice pick behind a trash container. That could have perfectly imitated punctures holes made by vampire teeth.

And Connor remembered that Justine had been there, holding the dead man, crying, with blood on her hands.

Horrified by the realization, Connor had run home. No, not home. Just the place where he and Justine lived.

She was there, sitting at the table, a knife pinning one of her hand in it. Connor didn’t understand why she did that, why she would put herself through this type of physical pain once a week. Disgusted with her habit, Connor had taken the knife out of her hand and thrown it across the room, planting it in the wall next to the fridge. He then had taken the bloody ice pick and planted it on the table.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? she exploded when the knife left her hand. And where the hell did you get that?”

“Because he wanted you to finish what he had started, he wanted you to destroy Angelus, and you did. He would be so proud of you. He knew that if he didn’t give you a reason, you would not have done it. Everything is now as it should be, everything is right.”

Connor knew that was a lie. Nothing was right. Everything was wrong. He had sent an innocent into the bottom of the sea. An innocent who had only wanted to love and accept him. And Connor had so cruelly craved that love and acceptance.

“You’re sick,» he had said to Justine. ”You’re sick and you’re wrong.”

Desperate and disillusioned, Connor had walked away and had been to the beach where he had fought his father for the last time. He had sat on a rock, and, miserable and lonely, he had begun to cry as if he was a baby.

But now, he was alone and everybody who loved him, or could have, was gone. He had pushed them away by his blindness to conduct his selfish vengeance.

The soft and gentle voice of Cordelia had startled him. Quickly, he had dried his tears with his shirt’ sleeve.

Cordelia had walked to the rock and had sat next to him. She was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing two weeks ago. She looked around, puzzled and disoriented.

“Really? I didn’t realize…I was taken away by the Powers-That-Be, and…now I’m back.” She had raised her head. “Can’t you make up your mind?” she had shouted at the sky. “Well, there has to be a reason. They brought me back right here where I find you crying. So, tell me, what happened?

“I…I sent him deep down, in a box” he had finally said, letting the tears fall freely on his cheeks.

“Oh, Connor! Angel would never do such a thing. He knew you loved him and wouldn’t have wanted to hurt you like that. Why didn’t you come to us to talk?”

“I know…I know that now. Is it to late?” he asked in a trembling voice, feeling ashamed like never before.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find a way. I know now why I’m back. My work here is far from done!”

They had gone back to the Hyperion, much to the delight of Gunn and Fred who had been left in the blank for two weeks. They had rented a barge, then, with the help of two Gunn’s friend they had left at sea and had found Angel with some of Cordelia’ surprising powers.

Connor had learned that Cordelia had disappeared during those two weeks. She had been taken to a higher dimension to fight evil. According to Cordelia, it had seemed to her she had been gone for fifteen years. It had intrigued Connor greatly that in those fifteen years she hadn’t aged a bit. He was curious but he hadn’t had the time to investigate the matter further.

As soon as Cordelia had located Angel, they had sent some of Gunn’s friend under water to hook Angel’s casket with the chains. As soon as the sun was safely down, they begun to pull the coffin out of the water. When he emerged and they pulled it on the barge, Connor attacked the fastenings with all his strength, helped by Gunn. Once it was open, Cordelia tried to carefully wake him up. He hadn’t fed for a while, so when he awoke, his face changed into game face because of his extreme hunger.

“Here” said Fred, offering him a cup of blood. Connor helped him sit and Cordelia fed him.

When Angel had drunk, he had looked around him and had seen Connor still holding him in a sitting position. They had stared at each other for a while, not knowing what to say.

The last thing Connor had expected was to be forgiven so easily. At Angel’s offer, Connor had moved back to the Hyperion, where, for a while, they had evolved in an uneasy routine at first. But things were gradually getting better and he had learned a lot. Angel had continued to show him how to fight. Gunn had shown him some streetwise tricks to help him survive in the wild streets of L.A or any other city. Fred had introduced him to the rudiment of computers and book, and he even had made some shopping with Cordelia, who had been craving for that for fifteen years. She may have been in the company of the Powers-that-Be, but she was still a woman.

Of course all of this was too good to be true. He should have known. In the end, he wasn’t really wanted.

The girl sitting next to him chuckled softly and he looked at her, thinking maybe she was laughing at him. But she was visibly lost in her own thoughts, and God was she pretty. He couldn’t help himself but stare at this beautiful girl with bright blue eyes, pink lips and long, luscious brown hair. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

Suddenly, as if realizing she was observed, Dawn turned her head and looked back at him.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asked defensively.” Do I have something on my face?”

Connor smiled, shyly looking at his hands. Cordelia had told him more than once that smile was irresistible.

And she was feeling that weird attraction. Something in him…not because he was cute. Well, that helped, of course. No, it was something else…something she couldn’t describe.

“Do you…Do you live in L.A” she asked again, trying to make casual conversation.

“Oh, it’s normal” she said with a slight smile. “It’s a very boring town”

She was not going to scare him away with stories of vampires, demons and apocalypses. He probably had no idea all those things existed.

They chatted for some time, although about superficial topics. He managed to smile several times, which made Dawn’s heartbeat a little bit faster. But only a little bit.

“I wish I knew,” sighed Buffy, taking the plates of their breakfast and putting it in the sink.

“I don’t understand” Willow said, frowning. “I thought they were supposed to take the furniture first, then the house.”

“I thought so too. Here, I get to keep the furniture. Not that it will be very useful without a house. I guess the only option is to sell most of them. But I’ll keep the couch. It will be more comfortable when I’m living under a bridge.”

Willow smiled. If Buffy was still able to joke about this, then things were not as dark as they seemed.

“You can put an ad in the paper. If you want, I can take care of that for you” the redhead offered.

“Thanks. We have two months to leave the house…it’s a chance we’re not kicked out immediately, I guess. But I must admit I don’t know how this things work. Mom always took care of the mortgage and house stuff, then Giles…I should have paid more attention.”

“Well, I guess your mind was preoccupied with other things, and I’m not a stranger to that.”

“Maybe not, but it goes way beyond that. It seems they send me a warning letter weeks ago. Though I never saw the color of it.”

“Ok. I’ll get dressed, and then I’ll go check for that ad. And also buy one of those Real Estate papers. You need to start looking for a new place.”

The former witch smiled and left the kitchen. Buffy knew she was trying hard to cope with the aftermath of Tara’s death and her own actions. But something was broken, and although she was going on with her life, she seemed to have switch on ‘No feelings allowed’ mode. Something Buffy could totally rely to, since she had adopted that mode for herself as well. She was working, slaying, taking care of Dawn, showing her how to fight and protect herself…but she was refusing to think further. She was refusing to think that not so long ago, she had felt more alive then ever. She remembered too well the feelings he had awakened. Moments of pleasure, even of happiness sometimes…a feeling of belonging, even if she had denied it very hard.

Why do I keep thinking about him ? she thought, anger rising. He nearly raped me! And here I am, counting the days like he had done for me the year before…and he will probably never come back.

The thought made her nauseous. She shook herself, putting her mind on the safe and boring topic of the laundry.

She got to Dawn’s room first. The curtains were still closed. Buffy noticed the form under the cover.

She took the cover away. The pillows were put together to give the impression that someone was sleeping underneath.

Confused, Buffy looked around and saw her sister’s schoolbag on the floor. Worry started to fill her. What was Dawn up too? She opened her closet. Some clothes were missing.

“Some of her clothes are missing. And why would she put pillows in her bed? I don’t understand, why did she do this?” she said, her voice getting hysterical.

“Calm down. Maybe she’s not gone. Maybe she just sneaked out last night and went to school this morning.”

“Ok…Well, maybe she took another one.” Willow said, sounding suddenly less convinced.

When you find this letter, I’ll probably be far away. I’m sorry, but I had to leave. I realize now what a burden I’ve been for you. And now that we lost the house, I thought you’d be better without me. Try not to worry. I can defend myself, now. I took some money from the Magic Box, it’s probably not the cleverest thing to do but so you know I’ve got some with me. I promise to pay you back someday.

Buffy, please, don’t try to find me. I really need to be on my own, to sort things out. I don’t even know where I’m going yet. Please don’t be mad at me. I love you.

“How can I not? She’s out there, all alone! And where on earth did she get the idea that she was a burden? And how does she know about the house?”

She suddenly remembered her conversation with Giles the day before. If Dawn overheard me talking about Willow and thought it was about her…

“Oh my God…I have to go find her,” she said again, heading to her own room to get dressed. Willow followed her.

“Buffy…Dawn said it, she’s probably far away by now. You don’t even know where to start.”

“Well, I can’t stay here and do nothing. I’ll go to the bus terminal. She probably took the first bus this morning.”

“Then what? Even if she took the bus to L.A, once there she can take another bus to anywhere in the country!”

“I have to do something, Willow. I can’t be here and pretend that it’s fine that Dawn left.”

“Alright. Go to the bus terminal. I’ll go see for that ad. Let’s meet here in one hour, ok?”

“Yeah, I remember her,” said one of the clerks at the terminal. “She took the first bus to L.A.”

She sat down on a bench, not knowing what to do next. She let a sob escape but refrained herself from crying. All this had been a big misunderstanding. Why hadn’t Dawn come to talk to her? She would have explain, tell her she was not a burden, that Buffy needed her little sister beside her…

“No. You were right, of course. She took a bus to L.A. Now the question is, did she stay there or took another bus?”

“She could. That’s why I’ll call Cordelia, to let them know. Just in case.”

“Buffy, I know this is probably a stupid thing to say, but try not to worry. Dawn said it herself. And you were the same age when you ran away, remember?”

“And she’s not a baby anymore. She knows what’s out there. She fought beside you. And if there’s anything, she’ll call. Or she’ll take the first bus back to Sunnydale.”

“What for? You need the money, Buffy, especially now. You can’t afford to lose this job.” Willow said wisely.

“It’s the least I can do. And it helps me too. To get rid of the guilt,” she added, half-joking. “ Go now, or you’ll be late.”

Buffy went to her bedroom to get change. She paused a moment in front of her closet, watching the black leather coat still hanging there, as if it were waiting.

“Spike…” she whispered, saying his name out loud for the first time in weeks. “I really need you right now. Can’t you feel it, wherever you are?”

“Hi, you’ve reached Angel Investigations. We’re not in for the moment, but please leave a message and we’ll get back to you.”

Surprised that no one was there, Willow let a message for Cordelia, asking her to call her back urgently. But the redhead didn’t thought it would help much. If Dawn didn’t want to be found…

Why did you run away like that, Dawnie ? Willow thought. And where are you now ?

~*~ CHAPTER 2 – Questions ~*~

When Angel woke up, later that afternoon, he was surprised to find Connor’s room empty. Almost every day, when he woke up, he would find Connor in his room, reading one of the books he had given him when he had first moved in. They would sit and talk for a while, and then go train until the sun was down before grabbing something to eat and go help the helpless.

Angel looked for Connor in every room and then went downstairs in the training room. His son was nowhere to be found.

“Don’t worry, man. The kid probably went out shopping or something. Cordelia gave him the virus,» Gunn said with a smile, attracting a glare from the half-demon girl.

“I don’t know,” said Angel, still worried. “For some reason, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Don’t worry, Angel,” said Cordelia gently, walking towards him. “If he was in danger, the Powers would probably warn me.”

“It’s been 24 hours,” Angel said the next afternoon. “Something happened to him.”

Fred, Gunn and Cordelia looked at him in silence. They all knew Angel was right. It was not like Connor to disappear for that long. Actually, since the ‘coffin incident’, it was not like Connor to disappear at all.

“We have to look for him. Cordelia, you stay here in case he shows up. Fred, Gunn, get on the streets and check out the usual places we hang out.”

It had been a very long day and Gavin was definitely getting on Lilah’s nerves. He was so vain, barely competent, she was surprised he hadn’t been fired yet.

Distracted, Lilah walked to her car in the underground garage. She was pushing the button to disengage the alarm when someone grabbed her and slammed her against the car. She dropped the key set and the file she was holding in her hand.

“Angel.” She said in a casual tone, like he had politely greeted her instead of strongly holding her by the throat.

“Believe me, as much as I would like to claim credit for that, I have absolutely no idea where your son is.

Angel watched her closely for a few second, before releasing her. His guts told him she was telling the truth.

“If I hear that you have anything to do with his disappearance, I will hunt you down. You tried with Cordelia, don’t even start to think about this with Connor” he said for good measure.

Without waiting for her reply, he left. He had a lot of places to search for his son.

“Willow, hi! I just got your message and wanted to call you back. We’ve been kind of busy, here.”

“Good. Somewhere in another dimension…again. Long story. What about you? And Tara?”

“Oh, Willow, I’m so sorry! I knew how much you loved her. Things aren’t going too well here either.”

“Well, things got pretty ugly in Sunnydale too, partly because of me. It took some time for us to recover. But it’s better now. Sort of. That’s why I called you.”

“Dawn has left. Yesterday. We don’t know exactly what happened, but she took her bag, and left Buffy a letter.”

“You must be kidding. Connor did exactly the same thing. Only he didn’t leave a note. Angel thought it was the evil law firm we’re fighting who kidnapped him, but I’m more and more convinced he ran off.”

“Wow, Cordelia, hold on a minute. What do you mean, Connor ran off? Isn’t he supposed to be a baby?”

“It’s a good thing Connor and Dawn don’t know each other, otherwise I would think they ran off together. Anyway, we know now that Dawn took the bus to L.A, so I just wanted to let you know, just in case.”

“You did well. Gunn and Fred are going to the bus terminal, so I’ll ask them to ask for Dawn as well.”

The last two days had flown by so fast, Connor could not believe the bus was now pulling at the Seattle bus station. He didn’t want to be there just yet, he didn’t want to leave behind the wonderful brunette sitting next to him.

“I guess this is our destination,» said Dawn with a very serious lack of enthusiasm.

She didn’t know where Connor was heading to. Like her, when she had asked, he had been very vague. But the thing she knew is that she didn’t want to be parted from him. She really liked his company. He was easy going, rough around the edge but incredibly sensitive and gentle. Dawn was sure he didn’t have an easy childhood because of his apparent toughness, but she could also perceive the tenderness of his heart. Wow, she thought, and all of this in two days. Talk about me having a major crush, here.

He didn’t want her to leave, he didn’t want to be alone again. She was so nice, she felt so right. She hadn’t judged him, just accepted him for what he was, even if he had only showed her a part of himself. His heart was craving her presence, his soul was crying her departure.

Reluctantly, he stood up as well and they got out of the bus, grabbing their bags on the way. Once inside the bus terminal, she turned to him.

“We had a great time. I really wish to see you again soon,” she said with stings in her eyes. “ I’ve got to go. Take care of yourself.”

Connor looked at her with his heart ready to burst. He couldn’t let her go like that, he didn’t know how to reach her. Then he remembered all the ugliness that the big city streets could hide, and he got scared for his brunette’ safety. In a second, his decision was made. He would follow her discreetly, to make sure she would be safe. He had nothing else better to do anyway.

He followed her for a good part of the afternoon and soon came to the realization that she didn’t have any place to go, that she didn’t have anybody to visit. She was just wandering along the streets, going from one shabby motel to another, obviously looking for a place to stay. As the evening approached and the sun began to disappear behind the buildings, Dawn was making her way in a more unfriendly part of town and Connor began to seriously fear for her safety. Gunn had shown him how to detect drug dealers, addicts, pimps and prostitutes, and Connor could see signs of all of them in the early evening lights. And some of these people, pimps in particular, were beginning to pay more and more attention to the now jumpy Dawn.

“What are you doing here by yourself, at this hour? You know, it’s really not safe around here for a young woman like you.”

Dawn looked at him frowning, taking a step back when he came too close. He seemed nice and genuinely concerned, but Dawn knew better. This guy was dangerous. She ignored him and tried to walk around, but he grabbed her arm.

Relief washed over the terrified girl when she saw Connor. Smiling, he took her bag from her shoulder and put it on his.

“I’ve been looking all over for you,» he said smiling, although the smile never reached his eyes. “Mom should have given you better instructions.”

As soon as they had turned the corner, Dawn stooped and looked at Connor, not sure if she should be happy or upset that he was there, that he had so obviously followed her.

“You followed me.” She said in a neutral tone, her pride almost getting the better of her and fueling her anger.

Connor was now relieved and immensely happy he had made that decision, but he kept from telling her that.

“What about you?” she defensively asked back, without answering his question.

“Me neither.” he answered shortly, her aggressiveness starting to get on his nerves. “I ran away," he admitted.

He was pretending he would do it as a favor…only he was probably the one who wanted to stay with her.

He grinned, the same grin he had made in the bus when she had said something amusing.

He had been shown how to recognize any crook in a city but not really how to find lodging.

She smiled at him and they walked back down the street, towards one of the motels she had visited earlier.

The room was small and smelled of cigarettes. It was far from being luxurious but at least the bed and the bathroom were relatively clean. They were back from getting a quick dinner at a small diner, not far from the motel, and Dawn was now looking through a newspaper she had been given at the restaurant.

“For a place to stay.” she answered without taking her eyes off the paper. We can’t stay here too long, because we’ll run out of money too fast.”

We. She had said ‘we’. So she wanted them to stay together. Connor’s heart swelled with unrestrained happiness at the thought that he was going to spend some more time with her.

Grinning like an idiot, he emptied his pockets and put all the money he had in his possession on the table.

“Well, I guess it would be a good thing to know how long we can live with what we have.”

Connor still had some problems grasping the value of things, especially since everything he had needed had been provided to him, whether he had been with Holtz, Justine or Angel, and he had no idea how much most of things cost. He knew he had about 400 $, but he had no idea how long that would last him.

“We have about 726 $,” she finally said. “It’s not a lot but it can last us for a little over a month if we are careful.”

“But we have to find a place to stay other than here, because at 25 $ a day, we won’t last three weeks, and we still have to eat.” She said, putting her attention back to the newspaper.

“Is there…is there something I can do?” Connor asked somewhat uncomfortable.

He had offered to be polite but since he didn’t really know what to do, he hoped she would say no.

“Yes,” she said, looking up and smiling at him. “Can you find a safe place to hide all this?” she asked, showing the money.

Relieved, he smiled at her. That, he knew how to do. Afterwards, he came back and sat in front of her, just for the pleasure of watching her concentrate. She was chewing her bottom lip and he found that incredibly cute and sexy. She suddenly raised her head and he quickly looked elsewhere. That paint on the wall was really fascinating.

“Do you want to go and get one now?” asked Connor, looking at the darkness outside.

“No,” she answered, yawning. “Tomorrow will be fine. Now, I just want to shower and go to bed.”

She stood up, took her bag and locked herself in the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later she walked out dressed with a big t-shirt and leggings.

She found Connor standing there, next to the door, completely naked, waiting for his turn for the shower. When she saw his uncovered manhood, Dawn blushed furiously and looked away, embarrassed.

“Please don’t,” Connor said. “The bed is big enough for both of us” he added innocently.

Dawn was not sure if she should be scared or amused by his comment, and his obvious innocence. But one thing she knew for sure, she didn’t want to have sex for the moment, with him or any other guy. She was still a virgin and had every intention to stay that way until she felt ready. And if he thought for a minute she would be willing to let him…

“Don’t worry,” he said hastily, like he had perceived what was going on in her mind “ I’m not going to hurt you.”

Connor walked rapidly into the bathroom and closed the door to hide his confusion, as well as an uncomfortable reaction growing in his groin.

He didn’t understand her uncertainty and fear when at his suggestion they shared the bed. She didn’t seem afraid to share a hotel room and stay alone with him, but the idea of sharing a bed had made her clearly uncomfortable. He really didn’t want to hurt her, and he had said so. He hoped that it was enough to make her comfortable again.

He walked out of the shower, remembering a conversation he had had with Gunn a few weeks ago.

“Yes, you know, ‘sex’ “ Gunn had said, punctuating the last word with a synchronized movement of his hips and arms.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what sex is? Didn’t people had sex on Quortoth?”

“Right. Guess that’s not their number one priority, then. Boy, how am I going to explain this…Ok, sex is what happens when a man is with a woman and use this” he said, pointing to Connor’s groin.

Connor had remembered waking up a few mornings with this part oh his body erected. He had found out he could get some form of pleasure by touching himself.

“And they use it when they are together?” he had asked, not really understanding how it was done.

“But women don’t like it.” Connor assumed, remembering how Gunn had referred to those having sex for money.

“They do, but not always, no,” Gunn had answered sadly, as if remembering some unhappy event from his past.

“You see, for a woman to enjoy it, she needs to do it because she wants to. There are a lot of men in this world that would have sex with women even if they don’t want it and that really hurts them…the women, I mean. It’s illegal and called rape.”

“It’s complicated, I know. See, most women who are prostitute don’t do it because they want to. They do it because they need money. They are generally drug addicts, or they ran away, and prostitution is an ‘easy’ way to get money. So it doesn’t hurt them to have sex, but, in the long run, it hurts them mentally.”

“Pimps are like vultures. They feed on the weaknesses of people. Most of the time, they will spot a run away girl, be very nice to them for a while, get them on drugs and then put them on the street.”

Connor had found all this very awful. All the demons and hell creatures he had fought on Quortoth didn’t seem that bad compare to some humans and what they were capable of. He didn’t understand the specifics of ‘having sex’ entirely yet, but he knew for sure he didn’t want to do it with a woman not willing to do it.

He was not sure but Connor assumed that was what Dawn was afraid of. Gunn had also explained to him that most people had sex in their bedroom while supposedly laying on a bed, so Dawn had probably associated his bed-sharing proposition with that.

The other thing that confused him greatly was the fact that his…thing had begun to erect while he was talking to Dawn about sharing the bed. All of a sudden, he had wanted her hand to touch him. The thought of her hand on him made him become rock hard and he gasped with an incredible want to get a release. He brought his hand to his hardness and began to move it back and forth, closing his eyes, the picture of Dawn’s face in his mind. He soon found his climax. Rapidly, he washed himself again and rinsed the shower to erase any evidence of his activity.

Most of the time, he would sleep naked, but considering what had just happened it was probably a very bad idea. He still felt a discomfort in his groin and didn’t want Dawn to see him if he got erected again. He took the towel and wrapped it around his waist. Once he was done, he turned the bathroom light off and opened the door.

Dawn was already lying on one side of the bed and shot him a nervous glance. He walked to his bag and grabbed a pair of boxers and put them on. He walked to the bed and laid next to her, pulling the blanket over. He closed his eyes.

A few seconds later, he opened his eyes again and looked at the young woman next to him. She had her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

“Dawn, are you ok?” he asked gently. “If you prefer I sleep on the floor, it’s fine.”

She turned her head and looked at him. His offer had visibly relaxed the tension in her body.

That took Connor by surprise. He had totally expected her to accept his offer when he had seen the tension leave her body but no, she had said he could stay. He frowned at the contradiction and wondered if he would ever understand her.

It was barely dawn when Connor woke up the morning after. Something had awakened him but he didn’t know what. He turned to Dawn. She was still sleeping but her sleep seemed turmoiled. Her face was contorted in an expression of pain and fear.

“No…” she said, moving her head from side to side, “Don’t! Buffy, no!”

Since Willow’s episode with black magic, since she had been held prisoner in the hole in the ground with Buffy, Dawn had had nightmares. She kept dreaming that the demons hadn’t disappeared and had overwhelmed Buffy, hurting her and sometimes even killing her. That was her biggest fear that Buffy died again. Even if they were not together anymore, Dawn knew Buffy was out there somewhere. That if it was necessary she could get on the first bus back to Sunnydale. But she wouldn’t. She had made the decision to leave and to learn how to live on her own.

She hadn’t told anyone about her nightmares, she hadn’t wanted them to worry. Since she hadn’t had them in the past weeks, she had assumed they were gone. Obviously, she was mistaken.

“Are you hungry?” she asked him. “We have a long day, today, so we might as well get an early start.”

Without answering, Connor followed her suggestion. He sat on the bed, gathered his clothes and began to dress up. Dawn took her bag and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she walked out, all dressed and her hair tied up.

After a quick breakfast at Dunkin’Donuts, Connor and Dawn bought a map and started visiting apartments. Most places were pretty run down and they were now visiting their fifth place. That apartment was very small with only one room that contained the kitchen, a kitchen table and the bed, and a small bathroom with a tub and shower. At least the water was running and sometimes hot. The apartment as a whole was not very clean but it was better than anything else they had visited today.

“I ain’t asking a lot for it, but it’s a neat little place, let me tell you.” said the owner.

Dawn definitely didn’t like the way that guy was looking at her and stood closer to Connor. He was giving her the creeps with his fat belly, greasy hair and stinky cigar. And he was looking at her as if she was a naked piece of meat.

“We’ll take it," she said nonetheless. She didn’t like the landlord but the apartment was the best one they had seen so far.

“Well, lil’ lady, if you want it, you got to pay the first month’s rent now.” said the landlord with a subjective smile.

“No problem,” Dawn said with all appearances of confidence. “If you give us half an hour, we’ll bring it to you.”

The landlord frowned, apparently not convinced and Dawn showed him the best smile she could give. That did the trick.

“Alright,” said the landlord. I’m in apt. #12. I’ll give you the key when you bring me the money.”

The landlord left leaving the door open behind him. Dawn went to close the door and turned to Connor. He was looking around, not sure what to do.

Connor shrugged. This looked like a palace compare to a lot of places he had stayed when he was on Quortoth.

“It needs a lot of cleaning but it is way better than what we saw this morning.”

That night, when they went to bed, they had scrubbed the bathroom, washed the floor, the cabinet, the fridge and the dishes. They had also been to the Laundromat and had washed all the sheets, the comforter and the towels. But despite that, the sheets remained disgusting and stained and Dawn didn’t want to sleep in them. The mattress was horribly stained as well, and Dawn had no desire to sleep one sheet away from it. Even if she didn’t have anything to cover herself with, she laid on the comforter and tried to go to sleep.

Puzzled, Connor looked at her. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t sleep under the sheets. He had seen so much worse, but he guessed it was probably not her case. But they had washed everything, so…

~*~Chapter 3 – Realities ~*~

Cordelia found Angel alone in the lobby. He was busy with some papers, trying to put his mind on something else for a moment. He heard her coming and gave her a sweet smile.

“I don’t know…sad, I guess. Once more he chose not to trust me and leave…”

“What else could it be? He took most of his stuff…I think Lilah was telling the truth, for once. Wolfram and Hart is not involved, this time.”

“Oh, which reminds me…you know what’s funny? Ok, maybe not funny…Buffy’s sister, Dawn, she left too. A few days ago.”

By saying so, Cordy studied Angel’s face, watching his reaction at Buffy’s name. But he didn’t flinch.

“I guess it must not be easy for her to raise a teenager all by herself.” He simply said.

“I sent them home. If there is something, I’ll call them. You can go home too, if you want.”

“And leave you all alone in that brooding mood of yours? No chance, mister.”

He smiled, secretly relieved. They hadn’t had a chance to be completely alone since their return.

He closed his eyes. If this was not perfect happiness, it was dangerously close to it.

Three days had passed since Dawn’s departure. Buffy wasn’t working that night, so she had plenty of time to think of how much she was a big failure. Her whole life was a big failure. Everything was a disaster. She couldn’t even raise her younger sister correctly. Obviously, Dawn had thought that leaving was a better option than staying with her. Well, Buffy thought bitterly, isn’t it what everybody’s doing? Leaving? Even the only vamp…guy who was really worth it had left.

The doorbell rang. Buffy wasn’t expecting anyone. Had Dawn changed her mind, maybe? she wondered with hope, running to the door and opening it.

The first thing she noticed was the maelstrom of emotions visible on his face. Expectations, hope, love. Emotions that, she realized, were probably matching her own.

“Of course. I…I never did a de-invitation spell.” She added, not knowing why.

Her heart was beating furiously. All the feelings she had denied and tried to forget were coming back all at once like a huge wave. Why did he come back? she wondered.

Why did I come back? he wondered, realizing how painful and wonderful it was to see her again.

“How are you?” he asked, also noticing her paleness and the blue lines under her eyes. She looked tired and worn.

There was an awkward silence. He had decided not to stay. He just wanted to say a proper good-bye to Dawn…and to see Buffy one last time. So he didn’t want to tell her, for his soul. It wouldn’t change anything, after all.

Buffy was studying her hands. Because when she was looking at him, she didn’t know what to choose between rushing in his arms and yelling at him for leaving her. Neither of the solutions were a good idea anyway.

“How are the Scooby’s?” he asked, surprised that she was all alone. That house was always so full of life. Now it was quiet, but in a creepy way.

“Willow’s fine. She’s going back to UC Sunnydale, which is a good thing. She needs to get her life back to normal after what happened.”

“You don’t know…? Oh, that’s right, you had already left.” She said, and was that accusation in her voice?

“Where to start?” she continued with a sad smile. “ Tara is dead. Warren shot her.”

Spike felt a pinch in his stomach. Tara? Dead? The most kind and gentle and sweetest girl he had ever met? Sadness filled him, and he knew it had nothing to do with his new soul. He had always liked the witch.

“He came here with a gun, with the clear intention of killing me. One of the bullets hit Tara as well.”

“Yeah…but I didn’t die, because you know…been there, done that.” she said with a self-mocking smile.

“Oh, he did, believe me. Willow took care of him. She tortured him before peeling his skin off. Then she tried to destroy the world. But, as you can see, she failed.”

“Yeah…magic and its consequences…I had warned Xander about that. Did Anya and him make up?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not staying,” he said, taking her question the wrong way.

“No,” he said, not noticing she had paled a little bit more. “I just came back to say goodbye to Dawn…and I needed…”

Taken aback at first, Spike recovered. Well, if she wanted to act like a cold bitch, it would make things much simpler.

His duster. Of course. That’s the only reasons why he had come back. Dawn and his duster.

“I burned it,” she said, without thinking, then regretting it the minute after she saw his face. He looked like she had punched him in the guts.

“That’s too bad, you know,” he said, not resisting getting on her nerves some more, “ we could have make a nice couple.”

“Yeah, well, Slayer, maybe you should start considering why all those men are leaving you. Maybe you are the problem. Did you ever think about that? There’s something wrong with you, and I bloody know what I’m talking about!” he said, closing the door violently behind him.

Shocked, Buffy slowly sat on the couch. He was right. And she had done it again. She had chased him away again with her coldness and her bitchy manners.

Spike stopped his bike at the cemetery entrance. What a bloody stupid idea I had to come back, he thought, rage and pain filling his heart.

What did I ever see in her? She’s just a cold frigid bitch who can’t see a good thing…and why did she look so tired? he wondered, his love and concern getting the upper hand as usual.

Bollocks, he went to Africa and got a soul! But you didn’t do it entirely for her, a little voice in his head said. You did it for you as well.

After travelling for some time, he had decided to come back one last time to Sunnydale. To see Dawn and Buffy. But staying would be too painful. She would never love him back. Especially after that ugly scene in the bathroom. But he didn’t want to leave knowing she hated him. He wanted to talk to her one last time. He should have known it couldn’t turn out the way he wanted.

“Hey Joyce…just wanted to say goodbye. Don’t think I’ll be back soon in this soddin’ town…Nobody wants me here, anyway.”

“Listen to me, I sound like the poofter. Must be the soul. Cause I’ve got a brand new one, shiny and all…I think. Got it for Buffy, and, well, for me. But she doesn’t love me.” He said, not knowing he was echoing Riley’s words of two years ago.

“So, I’m gonna stop whining now and leave. It’s for the best, I suppose. I miss you, Joyce. I hope to see you again one day, in a better place than this one.”

He put the flowers on the grave, got up. Heading back to his crypt, he noticed a girl a little further, standing in front of another grave.

“Oh, don’t worry. Bad guys are more scared of me than I’m of them, what with me trying to end the world and everything.”

“Buffy told me. I’m sorry,” he added, with a gesture towards the grave, which was Tara’s.

“She was the best of us. The sweetest girl I ever met. She didn’t deserve to go that way.”

“Certainly.” She answered, and for the first time that night he felt at peace. Standing in front of Tara’s grave, he shared a quiet moment with Willow.

“I think she was hurt that you left. Not that she would ever admit it, of course. But I’m pretty sure she was.”

“You know her…and with Dawn and the house, she’s really having a hard time for the moment.”

“She left. Three days ago. She left a note, saying she would be fine and asking Buffy to not try to find her. But we don’t really know why she left. Buffy said something about a misunderstanding. And all that on the day Buffy is told she has lost her house.”

“Why didn’t she tell me? We were having a normal conversation, and then suddenly she went all bitchy. The funny part is that I had just told her I was not staying. I thought she would be happy.”

“You told her you were leaving again? No wonder she gave you the cold treatment. Don’t you know it’s like her curse? Every man she cared about left her at some point…even you.”

“Yeah, well, I told her my opinion about that. And it doesn’t change the fact that she burned my duster.”

“She told you that? That she burned your duster? Wow, she must be pretty pissed off at you.”

“Your duster is hanging in her closet. It’s been there all summer, and it was still there yesterday.”

Spike stayed silent, swallowing all this. No wonder she had acted like that. As usual, her life was a total mess.

“I think I need to have a serious conversation with the girl,” he finally said.

“I never thought I would say this but you’re probably exactly what she needs.”

“Maybe. We’ll see about that. Her brain is thicker than wood. She can be so annoying…”

“Yeah, Willy. I’m sure you missed me,” Spike answered in a sarcastic tone.

He sat up at the bar, mumbling a ‘thank you’ when Willy handed him a glass full of the amber liquid.

Spike didn’t honestly know what he would tell Buffy. Part of him wanted to stick to his original plan: say goodbye to Dawn and leave without a glance back. Only Dawn wasn’t there. Buffy was left alone, and soon homeless. Some part of him told him to not care and let the bitch manage her own business. But the other part was telling him to stay and help his Slayer. His Buffy.

His ears caught the song in the background. He recognized the lyrics of ‘London Rain’.

I’m coming home I’m coming home to you
I’m alive, I’m a mess
I can’t wait to get home to you
To get warm, warm and undressed.

Yeah, no chance that would happen. He would probably not see the colour of the Slayer’s bed sheets anytime soon. Not that they used a bed very often…

And when I’m home, curled in your arms
And I’m safe again
I close my eyes and sleep, sleep,
To the sound of London Rain

Of course it would never happen like that. And they were in bloody Sunnyhell, not in London.

“Then what are we still doing here?” asked Angel shortly. “We have to go on searching.”

The three others looked at each other, unsure of how to tell Angel what they had discovered.

“I was getting the money to go make the deposit for last week” told Fred. “All the money is gone.”

Angel looked at them with pain in his eyes. He didn’t want to admit it, but deep inside he knew his friends were right, his son had run away. Nobody in town had seen Connor except for one person who remembered him at the bus terminal the morning of his disappearance.

“Angel, if something wrong was happening to him, we would know. I would know,” Cordelia said softly.

“Like when Holtz kidnapped him?” Angel threw back in her face, regretting it the second that followed. But Cordelia didn’t seem to mind.

“Angel, you know that we were not told because it was meant to be,” she said, still as gently. “And this time around, maybe Connor being away is also meant to be.”

“You know, Cordy’s right, man. We won’t find him unless he wants to be found,” Gunn said. “We looked everywhere and we didn’t find him. Let’s face it, man, the boy is not in town anymore.”

Working. They had to find jobs if they wanted to survive, had declared Dawn a few days into their co-habitation. And Connor knew she was right.

He was walking on the docks, trying to figure out how to ask somebody for work. That was not easy. Gunn had told him that sometimes people along the docks hired others under the table with no question asked. You just had to be at the good place and the right time. Ok, but how to make it the good place and the right time? Connor wondered, before his thoughts rapidly flew to a more interesting subject: Dawn.

His wonderful brunette, as he liked to think of her. It was only a week since he met her, but he could safely say that he liked her, a lot. She always seemed to know what to do, contrasting to him who barely knew anything normal about this world. He had no doubt he would have managed to survive on his own, but being with Dawn made things so much easier…so much nicer.

At night, when he was looking at her sleeping on the bed but still refusing to touch the sheets, he still wished she would touch him. He was getting better at controlling himself. He didn’t want to scare her and he figured that if she ever wanted to touch him, she would.

Early this morning, when she had been ready to begin her search for a job, he had looked at her somewhat distressed.

“I don’t want you to go alone,” he had said, worried, remembering very well what had happened only a few hours after they had walked out of the bus terminal.

“But I have to,” she had said. “If you are with me, nobody’s going to give me a job.”

“Don’t worry,” she had said smiling gently, slightly touching his arm. “It’s early in the morning. And I don’t intend to look for a job in an area full of prostitutes and pimps.”

“Ok, but let me go with you for part of the way.” he had reluctantly conceded.

“Fine,” she had agreed. “Will you go look for a job too?” she had asked, walking in the bathroom to brush her hair.

“Mmm. The docks? That’s a good idea. I’m sure there are some restaurants over there. Maybe one of them is looking for somebody like me.”

Connor was still smiling at the thought of her when danger caught his attention.

There, in the middle of the pier, stood a man who was talking on a cell phone while brandishing his other arm in the air. Right over his head was a huge crate of goods being moved by a crane. The crate was balancing dangerously in the wind and a ripping noise could be heard as the crane suddenly stopped in mid-air. Gathering all his speed and strength, Connor ran to the man and pushed him out of harm’s way, tumbling down on the ground with him.

At that moment, the crate came crashing down on the ground, breaking apart and spilling its content of fish all over the place. The man, who had paled visibly, looked at the place where he had just been standing with shock on his face. Connor offered him his hand to help him stand up. Once on his feet, the man looked at the broken crate again and then at Connor.

“Son, I…I don’t know how to thank you for what you just did. You…you saved my life. Oh, God! Wow will I ever be able to repay you?”

“A job? You saved my life and all you want is a job?” said the man surprised. “Are you sure you don’t prefer money?”

“With a job, I’ll have money on a permanent basis,” he pointed out. “And I have some conditions” he added boldly. “Paid cash, 8$ an hour, no questions asked.”

“Well, kid, I guess there’s something I can do for you,” he finally said, putting his arm around Connor’ shoulder. As a matter of fact, I own this fishing company and have four boats in the water. And I’m short of staff. Let’s go to my office and see what you can do.”

An hour later, Connor was uploading carts of fishes from one of the returning fishing boat.

Dawn walked along the street facing the port in search of another restaurant when she heard the crashing sound coming from the pier. She guessed there must have been an accident and she hoped nobody was hurt, especially not Connor.

He was so silent and kind of broody most of the time, but when he spoke to her, he was always gentle and nice. She wondered where he had grown up, since he seemed totally oblivious to a lot of basic things in today’s society, although at the same time he was aware of some unconventional things like the black market, prostitution and fighting. He was so strange to the things he didn’t know about and Dawn had to admit, she liked to rule the family, so to speak. She was the one ‘wearing the pants’, she thought with a chuckle.

And even if she had known him for little over a week, she was already wondering how it would feel to have his strong arms around her, his lips on hers.

She stopped thinking about him when she walked into a restaurant, the third one she was visiting that day.

Like the two previous restaurants, it was chaos in this one. Burly men, most probably fishers, were eating breakfast waiting for the right tide before leaving the pier. Dawn stopped a waitress and asked for the owner. The girl pointed out to her a big matron behind the counter, who was yelling orders to everybody in a loud deep voice.

“What do you want?” she asked Dawn with brusqueness when she got to the counter.

“See the old woman over there?” she asked, pointing out at an old lady sitting by the window. If you can satisfy * her *, you got yourself a job.”

Dawn looked at the old lady and frowned. The matron must be kidding her. That old woman looked so nice and gentle.

“Here’s an apron,” said the matron, giving it to Dawn as well as an order pad and a pen. “Good luck.”

“Good morning,” she said to the lady once she was at the table. “My name is Dawn and I’ll be your server today. How can I help you?”

Dawn was surprised that the line had come to her so naturally, especially since she had never done that before.

The old lady turned from the window and looked with a sudden severe stare at Dawn, glancing at her from head to toes. Dawn withstood her gaze without losing her smile. She really needed the job.

“Dawn, what kind of name is that anyway? Why in hell would you name someone after the sun raising in the morning?”

“Well, it’s a family thing, really,” she answered lightly. “My sister’s name is Buffy.”

“Buffy?” chuckled the old lady. “ I have to admit, Dawn’s a lot better. So, you want to work here, I guess. Why here?”

“Well, young girl, your honesty is honourable…I like that in a person. I’ll have a coffee, two creams, three sugars, and two eggs with sausages, three ketchups, two strawberry jellies and brown toasts.”

Without even writing it, Dawn repeated the order to the lady and walked back to the counter where she took her pad and wrote it down. Thankfully she had a very good memory and had always been impressed by the waiters who could take orders without writing them down.

Dawn smile and gave her the ticket. I grew up on the Hellmouth, and my best friend was a vampire, she thought. I’m not gonna be impressed by a grumpy old woman.

“Coffee’s over there,” the matron said frowning, surprised that Dawn got the order at all.

Dawn took a cup and the coffee, with the milk and the sugar, and walked back to the old lady’s table.

“Do you want me to put the milk and sugar in it for you?” she asked while pouring the coffee.

Dawn served two other tables without incident. It had quieted down a bit when the old lady stood up and walked to the counter.

“Martha!” she yelled at the matron. “I like her. Hire her. At least she has manners and honesty…and pay her well.”

Dawn, who was standing not very far, looked at Martha. The matron shrugged and went back to the kitchen. When she went to clean the table, Dawn found a 10$ tip waiting for her.

~*~ CHAPTER 4 – Normalcy ~*~

Spike hesitated a mere second before knocking at the door of the Summers’ residence. His coming back kind of ruined his previous stormed departure of two hours ago. But she had some explaining to do…and so did he.
He knocked and the door was opened almost immediately.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, not letting her the time to react to his sudden reappearance, like for instance by shutting the door in his face.

Buffy was looking at him with a zombie-like face. He waves his hand in front of her.

“What?” she repeated, before realizing she was sounding like a total idiot, and Spike was looking at her that way. But she was too surprised to see him back so soon. To see him back * at all *. She hadn’t even registered his words.

For the second time that evening she let him walked into her house. Could this evening get any weirder? she thought in a blur.

“The house had a mortgage…I forgot to pay it…end of story. That’s me, Buffy the Irresponsible Vampire Slayer.”

“I don’t know…well, I guess that it’s some kind of misunderstanding. I was talking to Giles on the phone, about Willow. Dawn probably thought I was talking about her. I don’t see any other reason. She left a note.”

“If I knew, don’t you think I would be there already? I know she took a bus to Los Angeles. And from there she probably took another one to somewhere else in the country.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were interested. Seemed to me you just wanted to say goodbye to my sister and get back your stupid coat. You seemed rather in a hurry.”

“Bloody Hell,” he muttered. “It was easier when I was rehearsing it in my head.”

“I know you told me to not bother to apologize…and to be honest it wasn’t my intention. The way I hurt you…how could I ever apologize for that? I don’t see how words can make it better. So I figured the best way was to leave. To get out of your way. And at one point I had decided to never come back. But it was too hard…staying away from you…and Dawn…I hadn’t had a chance to tell her a proper goodbye.”

“I don’t give a damn about that soddin’ coat. Since I was there, I just asked…but the reason I came back was you, to see you one last time, and tell you…explain to you what happened in my head. I was a total wreck. Like I told you, I wanted to make it stop. I didn’t listen, when you said no…it always meant yes before…and it’s not an excuse, I know. Like there’s no coming back from that.”

“Last year has been horrible. Everything. To be honest, I don’t remember one single moment of happiness…except when I was with you.”

“What you did…yeah, you crossed the line, that night. But I did tell you awful things. The part where I didn’t trust you…that was a lie. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve any of the things I did to you. So we are both guilty. On the same level. But I would lie by saying I forgot about what happened that night…because you scared the hell out of me. And I’m not scared easily, especially not by you. You were the person I could count on, and suddenly all that was left was fear. I don’t want to feel that about you ever again.”

He nodded, not saying a word, digesting what she had just said. He looked at her. The blank expression was gone. And she was sitting straight, like what she had just said had relieved her from a weight. He was feeling exactly the same way.

She smiled too and he realized he had lost hope to see her do that again. At least towards him. The relief almost made him choke.

“The original plan was to leave tomorrow…but it’s not like someone’s waiting for me. I can stick around for a few more days…that is, if you want me…to help you,” he added quickly.”

They looked at each other uncomfortably, not really knowing what to do or say. They had a long way to go to bring things back to normal…not that there was any sense of normalcy about the two of them.

“Of course not. I don’t understand why she never talked to me about this…ok, I wasn’t probably the best sister in the world lately…Do you think you can help me to find her?” she asked hopefully.

“Buffy, Dawn don’t want you to find her. It’s clearly written in that letter.”

“I know what’s written, I’ve read it a hundred times! But I can’t stay without doing something. I mean, can you? Don’ t you care about her?”

“You know I do. That’s why I won’t do anything. She wants to be on her own. I don’t think she made that decision in one night. It was probably something she had thought about for some time. She felt it was the right time and she left.”

“Yes, but…that doesn’t make things better. I can understand she wants to be on her own, but…she could have been on her own in Sunnydale.”

“Am I such a horrible person to live with? Uh, don’t answer that question.”

“Buffy, Dawn is not a little girl anymore. If she needs you, she’ll come back, or she’ll call.”

“Yeah, unless she’s dead or left as such in some horrible hole. I can’t help but be worried, I’m sick with worry. And I feel so helpless, that’s the worst part.”

“I can understand that. But there’s nothing you can do. You have to accept it. And you should concentrate on the fact that you’ll be homeless in a few weeks.”

“I bought some real estate guides. I’m planning to start looking tomorrow…and Willow put out an ad for the furniture.”

“Yes, but I won’t need most of them. If I can sell them, I can get some money from it.”

He nodded, unable to believe this place would be lost to them in a few weeks. He remembered long evenings sitting in the kitchen with Joyce, talking and laughing…watching the telly with Dawn…even sharing Buffy’s bed once or twice.

“If you have no other alternative, you can still stay at my crypt when I’m gone” he offered.

There was another moment of awkward silence. Buffy suspected that there would be a lot of it between them in the following days. The whole situation was really weird but at the same time she was feeling strangely comforted.

“Right,” said Spike finally, “It’s getting late. I’d better go back.”

He closed his eyes. Oooh, the temptation. Why was she doing this to him? Or did she want to show him she trusted him again?

And he was gone. But this time, Buffy knew he would come back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was getting late, and almost completely dark outside. Dawn was still not home. Connor was pacing the apartment, his worry increasing with every minute. He had finished his first day of work, after 5pm, and had brought home 65 $. He had been so happy to finally earn some money so they could live a little better. But right now, he was worried. Dawn wasn’t home and he didn’t know where she was. He was about to grab his coat and go look for her when he heard her put the key in the lock and she walked in.

“Dawn! Are you okay?” he asked, walking to her, relieved. “Did somebody attack you?”

“No, don’t worry, I’m fine,” she said, smiling at him. “I was working. Did you find a job?”

“Yes,” he said, smiling back. “I just saved that guy’s life and he gave me a job. Funny, huh?”

“On the fishing boat?” Dawn asked, realizing what was the smell lingering in the air.

“The smell” she answered. “Fishes have a particular smell. Like greasy restaurants,” she added, realizing she didn't smelled any better.

“But I won’t leave this apartment without taking a shower. You want to go first?”

Connor nodded and disappeared in the bathroom. Dawn emptied her pockets that were filled with her day’s earnings. She had about 60$. She also found Connor’s money on the table and wondered how he would view her taking over their finances. He hadn’t said anything about it so far, but she didn’t want to do something that would displease him in any way. She would bring the subject up over dinner.

About an hour later they were sitting in a nearby restaurant, waiting for their food.

“You know,” said Dawn, “We need to make a budget otherwise we won’t be able to make it.”

Connor didn’t really understand why they had to pay for everything all the time, but he guessed Dawn was right. In Quortoth, he would only steal from demons he had slain.

“I figured that if we put aside about 25 $ a day, we should be okay for the rent and the groceries.”

“Don’ t you have anything else to say in this?” she asked, getting exasperated.

“Not really. You’ re more update about those things than me. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

“Yeah! I’m not really good at budgeting,” he said, before adding “Ok, I don’t even know what the word means.”

“Okay then,” she said hesitantly. That’s what she had wanted all along, but having Connor give in so fast took her a little by surprise.

“What’s wrong?” asked Connor when he saw the uncertain look on Dawn’s face.

“Dawn, where I grew up, money was not really important. So I never really learned how to…budget, and the value of things…now, if you want to show me, I would love to learn,” he added almost sheepishly.

“I can do that. Not that I’m the queen of budgeting…and I didn’t have a great example in my sister, considering she lost our house…but I guess there were circumstances…anyway, I’ll show you what I know. And it makes me think, we really need to find a place to hide our money. Frankly, I don’t trust the landlord and the lock on our apartment.”

“That I can do,” said Connor, smiling. “I was good at hiding things where I grew up.”

“Good, cause I was never very good at it” Dawn said, remembering how easily Anya had found her stolen goods some months ago. “You know, thinking of it, I’m sure we’ll do fine. And maybe soon we’ll be able to move in a better apartment.”

Connor smiled at her optimism and attacked his dinner just as the waitress had dropped it off.

Connor was alone today. It was his day off. That morning he had walked Dawn to the restaurant then back home. Dawn was getting increasingly tired. Since she still refused to get under the blanket, she didn’t sleep well at night and, after six days of working eight to ten hours a day, her fatigue was beginning to show. She barely laughed anymore, so tired was she, and Connor was beginning to cruelly miss the light and free spirit of his wonderful brunette.

So, with this in mind, he took some of the money he had left with him and left the apartment right after he got back from dropping Dawn. He took a city bus to the nearest Wal-Mart. He was glad that during his time in L.A, not only had Cordelia shown him how and where to shop, she had also explained how to use the mass transit, saying that until he got a car of his own, mass transit would be a very useful alternative.

Getting to the store took a little longer than he thought, but it was all worth it if he wanted his Dawn back.

He walked in and went immediately to the bed and bath section. Rapidly, he chose sheets and a new comforter that he liked, and that would fit their bed.

He also grabbed two pillows and looked for a mattress cover like the one they had. Walking in front of the towels, he grabbed two big light blue ones, bigger than the one they had at the apartment, and a few face clothes. Dawn didn’t like the ones they had and was using them very reluctantly.

Happy with his selection, Connor walked to the cashier. It cost a little more than he had thought, but since he didn’t really have any idea of the value of those things, he had brought a lot more money that he needed. He was glad Dawn had proposed to teach him those things, because most of the time he was feeling really clueless, and he hated that. He didn’t like feeling stupid, especially in front of her.

A few hours later, he was back at the apartment, after a trip to the laundry mat to wash the sheets and towels. Doing the laundry had not been an easy feat but an old gentle woman had helped him figure it out.

He had just finished making the bed when Dawn walked in with her hands full of diner’s bags.

“I bought us a little something,” she said, then looked up at Connor and saw the bed. “Oh my God.”

She walked to the table and dropped the bags then walked to Connor who was grinning like a happy idiot.

“See, I even got a mattress cover so the sheets won’t be directly on the bed.” He said, showing it to her.

“Well, I had some money left,” he explained shyly. “I thought that, you know, it would be more comfortable.”

“Oh Connor! Thank you so much!” she exclaimed, throwing herself against his chest.

Of all the reactions she could have had, he hadn’t expected…well hoped…that one. Slowly, he brought his arms around her and hugged her gently.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” he said quietly, bringing his hand to her hair. They were so soft and silky. He liked the feel of it under his fingers, and the feel of her against his chest. And he felt his body reacting to her closeness.

“What did you bring for dinner?” he asked to hide his growing discomfort, and reluctantly let go of her.

“Some chicken sandwiches from the restaurant,” she said, walking to the table and setting it up.

They ate in a comfortable silence, and once they were done they went outside for their daily walk. At a lack of anything better to do, they had begun to walk after dinner, exploring their neighbourhood and sometime getting supplies for their apartment.

That night, when they began to walk, Dawn’s hand found its way to Connor’s and they walked hand in hand, relishing each other’s company.

A little bit before nine the following night, Spike showed up at the Summers' residence.

At first they walked in silence, not really knowing what to say. It seemed silly to say something trivial and they had no idea how to bring up important stuff either.

To Buffy, it felt strange to patrol alongside him again. She had thought for a moment it would never happen again. And she had become so accustomed to his help that when he was gone, she hated to have to patrol alone. She had done it for years, but a few vampires and demons ass-kicking with Spike had changed that. So she was glad when Dawn started coming with her.

“Yeah…I think. It’s been a while since I had a fight with a human, so…but I guess it does. Why?”

“So,” he said, bringing the conversation on safer ground, “What’s up with the rest of the Scooby’s? Didn’t you mention Demon girl going back to England with the Watcher?”

“Looks like old Rupert still got it, then. Did something really happen between them?”

“We don’t know. Dawn thinks so. But they always stayed very discreet, if there was ever a reason to stay discreet, that is.”

“I always thought they made a good couple. Remember when we lost our memories and they thought they were engaged? I didn’t fancy her too much to be my step mom, though.”

“Besides, sleeping with your step mom doesn’t help for good family relationship either,” Buffy said in a slightly acid tone.

“What about Harris, then?” he asked, quickly changing the subject – again.

“Like I told you, he was promoted. A good job offer in San Francisco. Willow and I persuaded him to go. He’ll be back in a fe…”

They both jumped in surprise and turned around. A vampire, freshly raised, was looking at them in a very unfriendly way.

“Excuse me, buddy, I was talking here. Don’t you know it’s very rude to interrupt people like that?”

“I NEED BLOOD!” yelled the vampire again, starting to walk towards Buffy. She took her stake from her pocket.

He launched himself at her and all she had to do was plunge the stake in his chest.

“Was that guy stupid or what?” she wondered with amazement while brushing the dust off her jacket.

“ ‘I need blood’?” Spike quoted the vampire-turned-dust with a frown. “Where did that come from? The bloke watched too much Dracula B-movies.”

“Let’s hope he didn’t wake his friends, because I reached my slaying quota for tonight.”

“One vampire is your slaying quota per night? I hope they are not multiplying too much, then. I thought this was the bloody Hellmouth.”

“And it’s still is, unfortunately. It’s just…well, I have so many things on my mind…I know the slaying should come first…and if Giles was here, he would probably beat my fingers with a cloth.”

“I have two appointments to visit apartments after tomorrow. And I hope to have some quick answers to the ad Willow put out for my furniture. Don’t you have friends looking for a bed or a table?” she asked him half-jokingly.

“Do you want…uh…no, you probably don’t,” she said, feeling her heart melting under the sweet smile he gave her.

Try to look a little bit * more* impatient, Buffy. And try to think before opening your big mouth.

“That thing I told you about being different…I meant it in a good way. I’ll try to figure out what it is.”

And I bloody well hope you won’t, he thought. Not before I decide it’s the right time and the right place. And that it’s worth it.

~*~ Chapter 5 – New Friends ~*~

“You should really get out of that ‘walking in the morning sun’ phase,” she told him when he burst into the kitchen under his sizzling blanket.

“I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I think I found a solution for your furniture. But I need you to trust me.”

“Ok, I don’t like it when you talk like that. That means you’re up to something evil.”

“Well, that’s what I am, right?” he said with a smirk. “But no, not this time. Uh, not ever, in fact. But we’re digressing. I need you to put a sign on each piece of furniture you want to sell.”

“Then that’s the part where you have to trust me. I’m waiting for a confirmation, that’s why I can’t tell you now.”

“I so don’t like the sound of this,” she sighed. “But I guess I don’t have much choice…and people are not exactly banging at my door to buy them so…Ok.”

Did I just accept to trust Spike with my furniture? Oh my God. That’s it. I’m crazy.

She took some pieces of paper and started to put them on the things she wanted to sell. It was a difficult choice, because her mom had bought all of them. They even had bought some of them together. Her mom’s room was the hardest. She sat on the bed, fighting tears.

She shook herself and went back to her room to put on her uniform. She had no house, currently no sister, soon no furniture…but at least she had a job, so she should better make the best of it.

Two days passed and no sign of Spike. When Buffy had come home the night before, all the furniture with a sign was gone. The house looked horribly empty. There was only some pieces left, and boxes Buffy had put their personal stuff in.

She had walked in the house slowly. Only the kitchen had remained the same, so that’s where she had spent most of her evening. The other rooms were too ghost-like.

Willow was gone for a few days on a retreat; something Buffy knew had to do with magic, or rather how to deal with it. A sort of Magic Addicts Anonymous.

But Willow wasn’t allowed to talk too much about it. When she would be back, she would be moving into the dorm.

She proceeded to tell him the last events. But she carefully left out the whole Spike part.

“Wow…So I guess no parties at Casa Summers anymore. I’m so sorry, Buffy. When are you gonna move?”

“As soon as I find a new place. I had appointments tonight but they called to say it was sold. I have another one tomorrow.”

“Call me as soon as you know your new address. You know, if you need me I can arrange some stuff here and come back for a few days.”

“Thank you, Xander, but no. I’ve got some help here, there’s Willow and…”

And Spike, who came back but in the meantime, vanished with all my household goods.

“…and friends from work. I’m gonna be ok. I’m more worried about Dawn.”

He sounded so much better than a few weeks ago that she didn’t want to involve him in all her problems again.

So it was almost 6 o’clock that day, a little bit before the restaurant got busy again. Buffy was preparing the table for the evening when she heard the doorbell.

He smiled. He could see she was furious, and he liked nothing like to put her in that state.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Slayer. In a few minutes I’ll be your best friend. Do you have five minutes?”

“Well, I heard there was that auction outside Sunnydale…a special kind of auction, for demons and such. So I took your furniture, with the help of a few friends, and went there, hoping to sell most of it.”

“What? You have to go beyond your prejudices, Slayer. All demons don’t live in creepy sewers. Some of them like a nice, comfy place.”

“Maybe you’ll believe this, then,” he said while handing her a roll of banknotes. A very thick roll of banknotes.

“It’s a pretty sum,” he said. “It will help you to face the first couple months rent.”

“I have to visit an apartment tomorrow,” she said in a hoarse voice. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Spike, I…thank you," she laughed. “That sounds lame, but I don’t know what else to say…”

Today was an awfully rainy day but Dawn was happy, relaxed and rested. Connor’s gift had proved to be a blessing and after a lazy day off yesterday, spent in bed, in the comfort of new sheets, catching up on overdue sleep, she felt great.

She was cleaning up the table at the restaurant. It was surprisingly quiet, today. The boats were out at sea and the other potential customers were chased away by the pouring rain. Most of the other waitresses were complaining about the slow day and the lousy tips, but not Dawn. She kept herself busy and didn’t think too much about the tip she could have had.

She had already cleaned up half the tables when the old lady walked in. Dawn still didn’t know her name, only that she was a regular visitor. She always sat at the same table and Martha had assigned her to Dawn. The other waitresses didn’t like the old woman, but Dawn did. And not only because she tipped very generously.

“Good morning! How are you today?” asked Dawn while bringing her a cup of coffee.

“Dawnie,” said the old woman smiling. “You sure look rested today, and happy I might add. What’s going on?”

“My boyfriend,” said Dawn. “He bought me a new set of sheets, and a comforter and a bed cover, and they are *so* comfortable.”

For a reason she couldn’t understand, Dawn had felt like opening up to the old lady and had told her about Connor, referring to him as her boyfriend. When did I start thinking about him that way? she wondered.

“Dawn, it’s not busy, today. Why don’t you fetch me my breakfast and come sit with me?”

“I’d love to, but I don’t know if I can,” she said, looking at Martha behind the counter.

Dawn left and came back a few minutes later with Miss Annigan’s breakfast. Finally, Dawn could put a name on the old, nice lady.

“So, Dawn,” said Miss Annigan once Dawn was sitting down. “Where are you from?”

“Oh, really? What are you doing so far away from home? I know you’re on your own with your boyfriend, but aren’t you a little young?”

“So young…I wish I was your age again,” said Miss Annigan dreamily. “So, what made you come to Seattle? It rains all the time, here.”

“So I noticed,” smiled Dawn. She hesitated a mere second before adding,” I left because my sister was having enough problems as it is without me around.”

They spoke for about one hour and Dawn told Miss Annigan about Tara’s death, Spike’s departure (leaving aside the him-being-a vampire part), Buffy losing the house, her meeting with Connor and moving in with him. She felt so relieved afterwards that she realized all that stuff had weight heavily on her without her even noticing it.

She also learned that Miss Annigan’s first name was Mathilda and that she was a widow. Her husband and her son had been lost at sea about fifteen years ago, and she had no family left. She came to the restaurant everyday because she used to come and eat here with her husband and son before they would leave for the boat.

Dawn thought that Miss Annigan’ story was incredibly sad, but the old woman had also hilarious anecdotes about her life. Dawn did not understand why the other girls didn’t like Mathilda and never took the time to see beyond that grumpy attitude she had at first. But it was all for the best because so she was the one to take care of the old woman.

“Oh…I don’t know,” answered Dawn, taken by surprise. “I can ask him to come and have breakfast before he goes to work one of these mornings.”

“Good! Now I’ve got to go. It will be lunch soon and I’m sure Martha will need you,” said Mathilda, standing up.

“Oh, well, thank you dear!” said Miss Annigan smiling. “Now, go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Wow, she thought. At this pace I’ll be soon able to buy the restaurant itself.

Connor came running. The rain had poured down all morning and he was definitely glad that his boss had given him some rain clothes on his second day of work.

“Do you know how to drive that thing?” asked Roger pointing to a small vehicle that looked like a golf cart.

“Third alley that way, you turn right and you’ll see it. Stay in the alley, don’t go on the road and be careful, there’s a lot of pedestrians around.”

Connor got behind the wheel. He got to the fish place in no time and was impressed by the activity at that stand.
People, workers to be more precise, were yelling and throwing fishes all over the place. Someone saw him and yelled,

“Delivery from Roger’s here!” yelled two of the other guys behind the counter.

“So, what have you got here?” said Nick looking at the back of the cart. “Good! Salmon. That’s exactly what we were missing. Derek!”

“One flying salmon!” yelled Connor, throwing the fish to the awaiting Derek.

By the time they were done, Connor was smiling happily. That surely was a lot of fun.

“Hey Connor, tomorrow the guys and I are going out to relax. You wanna come?” proposed Nick to Connor who was getting back behind the wheel.

“I…I don’t know,” said Connor shyly. “I got to check with my friend.”

“Fine. If you can make it, we’ll be at the tavern out there,” said Nick, pointing to a building with a sign that said ‘The Fisher’s Tavern’. “If you want to join us, we should be there by 6:3O pm tomorrow night.”

“It’s not very big, but there is a small garden!” said the real estate agent with a commercial smile. What she called pompously the garden was a two square meters green space with a little bush and three dying flowers.

“Isn’t sunbathing one of the nicest activity?” she asked again watching Spike with a look that said ‘ and you sure seem to need it’. Spike returned her look and said,

Buffy didn’t pay attention to the exchange. She was walking around in the apartment – which didn’t take too long.

There was one bedroom with a little bathroom. The living room was rather big, probably because the kitchen was included in it. It was clean, but not really welcoming. And the small windows didn’t let much light shine through. So it was rather sinister. But of course it was all empty. Maybe with some furniture and decoration it would look better.

“I wish I could take a two-bedrooms apartment, but I can’t afford it.” She said in a toneless voice.

“If the Nibblet decide to come back you will share that room. And maybe by then you’ll be able to move into a bigger place.”

“I live in a crypt.” He pointed out, happy to see a smile appearing on her lips.

“I wish she would at least let me know she’s ok,” she said, and suddenly she started crying. With horror, Spike saw a sudden wave of tears flooding her cheeks.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, before going to her and putting his arms around her.

She didn’t push him back. She even put her head against his shoulder, although Spike was conscious that she was probably not realizing exactly what she was doing, lost in her sadness like she was. So he simply held her.

“Why the tears? Dawn or this apartment?” he asked softly, gently caressing her back.

“C’mon, Slayer, don’t fall back into that depressive state of last year. Chin up, luv.”

“Yes, thank you. I’ll take the apartment,” she said quickly, before changing her mind.

She met Spike’s blue eyes but his face was expressionless. The woman went to fetch some papers.

His indifferent tone hurt her. But what had she expected? He had stayed to help her, and that was all. He would be gone soon. He didn’t really want to be involved in her life anymore. And she couldn’t really blame him for that.

These authors spend lots of time to write these stories. If you took the time to read this PLEASE take the time to give them some feedback. Happy writers write more ;-)

Sophie - sophie_limbourg@hotmail.com

~~PROLOGUE~~

~~ CHAPTER 1 – Going and Leaving ~~

~~ CHAPTER 2 – Questions ~~

~~Chapter 3 – Realities ~~

~~ CHAPTER 4 – Normalcy ~~

~~ Chapter 5 – New Friends ~~

Back to Sophie

Continue - Page 2

~*~PROLOGUE~*~