It had all started a few days before, when she had got up in the morning feeling sick. It has not been the first time. First she had thought of an indigestion but it was not that. Then Tara had made this comment about morning sickness –she was still the only one who knew about Spike- and Buffy had been completely freaked out.

“ Hey, I’m joking ” Tara had said.” There’s no way you could be pregnant. I mean with Spike…It’s impossible, right ?”

“Should be…but Angel is a vampire, and he had Connor.”

Tara thought about that for a minute.

“Yes, but Darla was a vampire.”

“And I’m the Slayer.”

Tara had found nothing to respond to that. Then Buffy had said, shaking her head:

“ No, it’s impossible. It’s something else. I’m sure.”

But she had not felt convinced at all

And here she was now, in her bathroom, holding this test and looking at it like she could get a contagious disease from it.

Just do it. Now. You know it will be negative anyway.

She came back in her room and the waiting started. She lied down on her bed, her hart beating a little too fast.

Of course she had never use protection with him. It wasn’t supposed to be necessary. And they were so lost into each other the last times that they wouldn’t have thought anyway. So, a baby…no, no, that could not happen. She had just started to accept that she was kind of involved with him. The idea of being pregnant was way to scary to even consider it. She had a job that sucked, she was in charge of her 15 years old sister and she was only twenty-one.

Oh, and the father of that baby ? A neutered vampire named Spike and formerly known as her sworn enemy. Talk about worst timing and bigger mistake ever !

Time was up. She went to the bathroom, took the test and looked.

It was negative.

Of course.

She knew that.

Back in her room, she sat on her bed, expecting a huge wave of relief anytime now.

But it never came.

Disappointment did. A big feeling of disappointment that took form in her throat as a sob. Then another. Followed by tears suddenly flooding freely on her cheeks.

And that feeling of disappointment…that was the scariest thing of all.

The sun was setting. Buffy was sitting in the kitchen, still holding the test in her hand. Dawn had called saying she would stay over at her friend’s house and Buffy had not object, even though it was a school night. She needed some time alone.

So she was not pregnant. She should be happy about it. But she could not get rid of that awful sadness she was feeling. How could she feel like that, for God’s sake ? A baby with Spike ! That was the last thing on earth that would ever happen !

The back door opened and Spike came in.

“Evening luv.”

He saw her, sitting in the dark, with a very non- happy face. A face with “I cried all day” written all over it.

She looked at him but said nothing. Her eyes were full of sadness and dismay.

“ Hey. What happened ? Are you all right ? Is it Dawn ?”

“ No…Dawn’s ok.”

“Oh…good.”

She looked back at her hands. He came behind her, put his arms around her.

“ What’s bothering you, pet ?”

For a few minutes she closed her eyes and relaxed against his chest. She turned her head in his neck, relishing in the scent of him. Then she opened her hand and showed him the test.

“ What is…a pregnancy test ?”

She nodded.

“ It’s negative”

“Of course it is. Why…How…I mean, why did you think you were pregnant ?”

She shrugged.

“ I was feeling sick and Tara said…And there was the Angel/Connor thing…I just thought, maybe…this is ridiculous, I know.”

Spike frowned, not knowing exactly how to react.

“Well, if you had ask me…”

“Ask you ? What are you , a gynecologist ?”

Taken aback by her harshness, he let go of her.

“ Is that why you cried ? Because you thought you were pregnant ?”

He couldn’t help but feel hurt that she would consider it so awful. Of course it would not be the most clever thing to do, but still…

She got up, putting some distance between them.

“ No. I cried when…when I realized I was not.”

“You…what ?”

This time, he smiled.

“Baby…”

He took a step towards her but she raised her hand.

“ No. You don’t understand. This is not a good thing.”

His smile vanished. He frowned again.

“ You’re right, I don’t understand. You’re not pregnant. You’re sorry about it. Well, I am too, if you want to know.”

She shot him a surprised glance.

“Don’t give me that look. I bet you didn’t think about it, right ?”

He sighed.

“ I thought we were further than that, Buffy. I have feelings too. Why do I have to remind you that ?”

She looked embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…the whole thing really freaked me out and…”

“ Don’t, Buffy. Please…Don’t take this as an excuse to push me away…again.”

“ I don’t ! She lied. But it’s getting too fast…too much. I need some time to sort things out.”

She was acting like a total coward and wasn’t very proud about it. But she couldn’t help herself. When he was around, she could not think properly.

“ What do you want me to do ?”he asked in a miserable tone.” Stay away ? Is that what you want?”

He came closer, putting his hands on her cheeks.

“ Are you ready to give up on this…”

He kissed her sweetly in the neck.

“And this…”

Put a caressing hand on her breasts.

“And this…”

He finally took her lips in a deep kiss.

“ I love you. But I can’t stand your constant changes of mind anymore. This time, if you ask me to stay away, I will. For good. It’ll hurt like hell, but I’ll do it.”

Buffy acquiesced, tears in her eyes. His kiss had left her speechless. She was so confused…she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“ It’s up to you, now, love.”

And he left.

Hyperion Hotel, L.A

“ Vision ! ”

Angel got up just in time to catch Cordelia before she felt. He helped her sitting.

“ Painkillers…please,” she moaned as a worried Angel gave them to her. Those visions were becoming more and more unbearable.

“ Are you ok ? “ he asked

Cordelia slowly massaged her forehead.

“ I guess…but that was strange…”

“ What ? What did you see ? “

“ Spike…I saw Spike”

Angel frowned.

“ Was he attacking someone ? Buffy ? “

“ No…that’s the weird thing. He seemed to be the one in danger.

Sunnydale

Buffy had started the evening with slaying intentions, but when she had realized that her paths led her always to Spike’s crypt, she had given up. I’d better get home and go to bed, she thought.

She took a coffee at the Espresso Pump, headed towards home…and bumped into Spike.

“ Sorry, Slayer. I hadn’t see you “

Somehow she doubted that, but didn’t say anything.

“ How are you doing ? “

“ Good”, she said in a very firm voice.” Very good. You ? “

“ Yeah, yeah. “

He showed the paper bag he was carrying.

“ Got some blood at Willy’s before going home.”

“ Oh…Ok. “

He looked at her. She was pale with blue circles under her beautiful eyes. She looked everything but good. Not my problem anymore, he thought. Then why are you still here ? He couldn’t help himself.

“ Are you ok ? For once you look paler than me.”

“ No, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

His gaze met hers. Neither of them seemed eager to leave. It was like they wanted to tell a million things but couldn’t form a single word.

Buffy was struggling inside, fighting the urge to give in and lean into his arms. Especially when he was staring at her like this, with genuine worry in his blue eyes.

I broke up with him two days ago, not really nicely, and still he’s here, all concerned…

She suddenly realized that the still hot coffee she was holding was burning the palm of her hand.

“ I…I’d better go, now. “

“ Ok. Well…Bye.”

“ Bye,” she said in a soft voice.

It took her every effort to put one step in front of the other and go away.

“ Buffy…”

She turned around.

“Yes ?”

“I miss you.”

That almost got the best of her. But he didn’t let her the time to react and moved away quickly. Buffy felt tears threatening to overflow and took a deep breath.

“ I miss you too, Spike.”

God how she hated to see him leave.

She was about to insert the key in the lock when Willow opened the door.

“ Buffy…We’ve got visitors.”

“ Now ? Who…”

She came in the living room. The first thing she noticed was the tall figure with a black coat she remembered so well.

“Hey Buffy.”

“Angel ?”

“ I don’t get it”, Tara said. “ If Cordelia usually have visions about helpless people, how come she had one about Spike ? I mean, he’s not really the weak type.”

“ Unless he’s attacked by a human” Angel pointed.

“ Was the other person you saw a human ?” Buffy asked.

“ It’s difficult to say, but I guess yes. It seemed so.”

“ Can you describe it ?”

“ Tall, dark-blond hair, rather good-looking…”

“ That looks like a million guys out there” Willow sighed.

Buffy cleared her throat.

“ What I don’t understand is why you had this vision. Spike faces danger all the time, when he’s helping us or by himself. Why is this time so special ?”

“ I’m afraid that means he’s going to face a real threat…possibly a deadly one.”

“ Oh…”

Buffy sat, frowning.

“ Does those visions give you by any chance the exact time when it supposed to happen ?”

“ Not precisely. The only thing they give me is a hell of a headache” Cordelia answered, making a face. It had been two days ago and she was still felling a throbbing pain.

Angel kneeled in front of her.

“ Are you all right ? Do you want something ?”

“ I’m ok, and stop asking, you’re getting annoying.”

But the look she was giving him showed she didn’t really mind. Willow followed this exchange with some surprise and looked at Buffy. But her friend seemed lost in her own thoughts.

“ I’ll get some drinks” Willow said. “ Buffy, do you want something ?”

“ What ? No. I mean…I’ll get it.”

She turned to Cordelia.

“ Do you need something for the baby ?”

Connor was lying in his crib, playing with one of Cordelia’s bracelet. The brunette gave Buffy a baby bottle.

“ Thirty-five sec in the micro wave.”

“ Ok.”

“ Thank you.”

In the kitchen, Buffy prepared some tea. She was feeling sick with worry. Angel had told her about Cordelia’s visions. It was always something serious. And the fact that they didn’t really have any clue about the whom, how and when was making it worse.

While waiting for the bottle to warm up, she opened the back door and stepped on the porch. She needed some air.

“ Are you ok ?”

Angel came behind her. Buffy laughed slightly.

“ I don’t think I look ok, as everyone is asking me that.”

“ To be honest, you look, well, pale, tired, worried…and sad.”

“ It’s a little bit of all those things”, she acquiesced.” As weird as it may sound, I do worry about Spike. You wouldn’t have come all the way to Sunnydale if it wasn’t serious.”

“ Do you know who could want to kill him ?”

She looked at him and he smiled.

“ Ok, that was a very stupid question. I must be tired too.”

“ Spike isn’t known for his “I-make-friends-everywhere” way of life.

“ Yeah, guess he hasn’t changed a bit.”

“ He has, actually. A lot. In a…In a good way.”

Something in her voice startled Angel.

“ Willow mentioned he had helped you several times.”

“ I know I can count on him” Buffy said quietly.

Angel watched her closely. She was avoiding his gaze. What was happening ?

Voices in the kitchen caught their attention. Cordelia, holding Connor, was feeding him while Willow played with his tiny little hand.

“ How is it ?” Buffy asked.

“ What ?”

“ Fatherhood.”

A fond smile appeared on his face.

“ It’s great. All those feelings that rush into you…in a good way. It’s terrifying and wonderful at the same time.”

Buffy nodded, watching the baby. Was it only two days ago she had been so freaked out about what seemed now something not so freaky after all ? Connor was so cute…and despite all the events surrounding his birth he looked happy and at peace. So was Angel…and Cordelia.

“ Is it really Cordelia standing in my kitchen ?”

Angel laughed.

“ Scary, huh ? I never would have pictured her like the perfect mum but hey…she is. She loves him unconditionally and takes good care of him. But the visions…they are getting more and more painful. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

His smile had vanished and he looked really preoccupied…In a “I care a lot about that girl” sort of way.

Buffy opened her eyes wide.

“ Are you…are the two of you…involved?”

Angel looked embarrassed.

“ Well, we got closer…We’re very good friends, he added lamely.

Buffy smiled.

“ It’s ok, Angel. It’s about time we both move on.”

He looked relief.

“ Does that mean you’re seeing someone too ?”

Now was the perfect time to talk about her relationship with Spike. But she didn’t. Something stopped her from doing it. She was such a coward, she thought with self-disgust.

“ No…no one. But I’m happy for you. I really am.”

And she was sincere. She hadn’t felt the tiniest bit of jealousy or envy. She was just really glad to see him happy.

He putted his arm around her shoulders.

“ I would be happier if you were telling me what’s bothering you so much.”

“ The problem with Spike is bothering me.”

“ Of course, but there’s something else. When you arrived one hour ago, I could feel something was upsetting you.”

She looked at him, smiling.

“ You know me too well…It’s getting late, she said, changing the subject. I guess we should go and warn Spike.”

“ So you don’t wanna talk about it ?”

She hesitated.

“ Not now…maybe later.”

“ I’ll hold you to that.”

“ I know you will.”

Turning into Revello Drive, Spike was talking to himself. Buffy’s face when they had met earlier…she had never looked so unhappy. And at the risk of sounding pretentious, he was positive it was because of him. Because she regretted that break-up.

“ I’m gonna put some sense into that bloody pretty head of her, he said with anticipation. And she’s going to listen, and if she doesn’t then I’ll kiss her till she beg for more !”

He decided to go through the back of the house. Maybe she would be in the kitchen.

Spike stopped dead in his track.

She wasn’t in the kitchen.

She was on the back porch.

With Angel. In his arms. Well…almost.

Frozen, Spike didn’t move for a moment. Then he turned away.

His hart wasn’t beating, but he could have sworn it just got broken into million pieces.

What was she doing with Angel ? Did she know he was coming ? Was that why…? Maybe she wasn’t unhappy because of me, but because of him ! Spike thought with growing anger and despair. He felt like he had trouble breathing –except he wasn’t breathing at all. Tears were blurring his vision I’ve been such a soddin’ stupid fool !

All this time…she was just waiting for Angel to come back and poof ! Bye bye Spike !

He was so mad and desesperate his senses didn’t even noticed the tall man watching him in the dark.

“We’ll go and see Spike” Buffy said, grabbing her coat.

“ Will you bring him back here ?” Dawn asked.

She had come back from her friend’s house a little earlier and had been told about the vision. She had got really worried, as she was really fond of the vampire and considered him like a big brother.

“ You have to bring him back” she insisted.” He will be safe, here. With us.”

Buffy hesitated.

“ I’ll see with him what he decides.”

“ It would be better for him to come” Willow said,” Considering we don’t know anything about what’s going to happen to him.”

“ I’ll do my best to convince him, but you know Spike…”

She was not really comfortable with the notion of Spike staying under her roof for some time, but if his safety depended on it…then she would do everything.

She walked with Angel to his crypt.

“ What are you going to say to him ?”

She shrugged.

“ The truth, I guess. I just hope he’s there.”

Spike wasn’t on his ground floor and the TV was off.

“ Maybe he’s downstairs. Spike ?”

She climbed down the ladder, followed by Angel.

She found him sitting on his bed, drinking a beer. Not the first one, obviously.

“ Spike…”

“ What do you want ?” he replied in a harsh tone. Then he saw Angel and his eyes widened. He got up from the bed.

“ Well, Slayer, you’ve got some nerves to bring him here.”

“ What ?”

Buffy looked from Spike to Angel, the realized what he was implying.

“ No ! Spike, it’s not…You’re in danger ! That’s why Angel’s here. Cordelia had a vision about you.”

“ The cheerleader ? She has visions now ?”

“ It’s a long story” Angel said “ but we wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t serious.”

Spike shot him an angry glare.

“ And since when do you care ? Last time you saw me I was torturing you.”

“ I can still change my mind and leave” Angel said with a cold look.” Buffy told me you had changed, but I think she must have gone blind.”

“ Not by love, that’s for sure” muttered Spike in a bitter tone.

“ Stop being a pig-head ! said Buffy, exasperated. Just come with us and we’ll explain everything.”

With a stubborn face, he sat back on the bed.

“ I’m not going anywhere with you and Nancy-boy. And I can defend myself.”

“ Not this time. Listen, if it was for me I would go back to LA and not give a second thought about you. But Buffy here seems to…”

He searched for a word, watching her.

“…care enough about you to think you’re worth saving. So I suggest you stops being an ass and come with us.”

There was a short silence before Buffy said:

“ Angel…can you leave us alone for a minute ?”

Reluctantly, Angel nodded.

“I’ll wait for you upstairs.”

Once alone, Buffy watched Spike in the eyes.

“ I’m serious about this. You’re in real danger. Come back with us…please. Dawn is really worried” she added, thinking that might decide him.

His face softened slightly.

“ At least someone worry.”

“ Stop whining. I do worry too. You know it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here in the middle of the night almost begging you to come with me.”

He smirked.

“ You haven’t come to the begging part yet.”

She came closer to him.

“ No, but I’m ready for the “punching-you-in-the-nose-very-hard” part.”

He sighed.

“ Ok. I’ll go with you.”

She didn’t show her relief but smiled a little.

“ Good Boy.”

“ Don’t push it, Slayer.”

He got up, took his coat. Buffy was already on the ladder when he said:

“ I saw you with him.”

Confused, Buffy looked at him questioningly.

“ Earlier tonight…I came to talk to you and I saw the two of you on your back porch. You were in his arms. I thought…”

He looked at his shoes, embarrassed.

“ You thought wrong” Buffy said softly.

So he was just jealous. And hurt. That she could handle…later.

“ We’d better go”

He nodded and followed her. A glimpse of relief passed through Angel’s eyes when he saw his grand-childe.

“ So…you decided to behave.”

Spike didn’t answer and went out without waiting for them.

“ What did you say ?” Angel asked.

“ I threatened to punch him.”

Angel smiled.

“ Oh…I see.”

She glared at him.

“ Not there ! In the nose !”

“Oh…Sorry.”

They got back to the Summers’ house within a few minutes.

“ Spike !”

Dawn ran to him.

“ Hey, Nibblet. Shouldn’t you be in bed ?”

“ I’ll go now” she said with a smile. ” I’m glad you’re here.”

He smiled back, ignoring Angel’s surprise. Yeah, he was nice to a teenage girl, so what ? Tara and Willow were smiling also, and looked happy to see him. That gave him a warm feeling he wasn’t used to.

“ So, Cordelia…about that vision…”

They all sat in the living room and Cordelia told him the story.

“ So, you’re saying someone’s going to try to stake me or something, but you don’t know who, where or when ?”

“ Nope, she said. That’s frustrating, I know.”

Spike nodded. They all looked at him then at each other.

“ Do you have a plan ?” he asked.

“ Not really” Buffy admitted” We thought that warning you and bringing you here was the first thing to do.”

“ The problem” Angel said “is that there’s nothing much we can do now…but wait.”

“ When I got the visions” Cordelia explained “ it usually mean it’s going to happen immediately or in the two following days. Considering you’re still here and that today’s over…I would go with tomorrow.”

“ But by keeping Spike hidden here, we prevent this from happening” Willow said, “so…”

“ Yeah, what tells me that this guy will not try again in a week, or later ? No, if nothing has happened by tomorrow night, I’ll go out and try to find him.”

“ How ?” Buffy asked, obviously not liking the idea. “ You don’t even know what he looks like.”

“ I’ll serve as a bait. I’m not gonna let a bloody stupid human reduce me to a trembling nit.”

“ I agree with you” Angel said. “And we don’t have any other solution anyway.”

Buffy got up.

“ That’s settled then. Now…we need to find sleeping arrangements.”

“ Cordelia and Connor can sleep with us” Willow said.

“ And Angel and Spike in the basement” proposed Buffy.

The two vampires looked at each other with rather non-happy faces, but didn’t say anything. Buffy got up.

“ Well, I think it’s more than time to go to bed.”

Cordelia took Connor and followed Willow and Tara upstairs. Buffy turned to Angel and Spike.

“ I’ll get you some blankets and pillows. The couch in the basement can be made as a bed for two persons.”

She brought back all the stuff and gave it to them.

“ Well…Good night.”

“ Good night, Buffy “ Angel said with a smile. Spike didn’t answer but gave her a strange look she tried to ignore. She checked the back door and turned off the lights in the kitchen.

Spike was waiting for her in the hall.

“ Hey” she said nervously “ Do you…do you have everything you need ?”

“ Not everything” he said softly, caressing her cheek with his knuckles. She closed her eyes and leaned unconsciously towards him.

“ I miss you” he said again, for the second time that evening. “I know I said I would stay away, but…It’s too bloody difficult to stay away from you.”

He was being so sweet that Buffy found it impossible to resist. And to be honest, she didn’t want to anymore.

“ I miss you too” she admitted, loud and clear this time.

She had expected a victory grin, or a cocky “I knew it” but none of it happened. He just gave her a very loving smile before kissing her. He caressed softly her lips with the tip of his tongue, teasing her. She opened her mouth and he kissed her so passionately she started to tremble. Moaning softly, she put her hands under his shirt and slightly scratched his back. But the minute after she stepped back.

“ We can’t…”

He let go of her, feeling like someone had just ripped off his arm.

“ Sorry, I forgot we had broken up. We’re not supposed to do that anymore.” He said in a bittersweet tone.

Buffy put a finger on his mouth.

“ I was going to say we can’t do this now. The house is a little bit overcrowded.”

His face lit up.

“ Does it mean…does it mean you’re unbreaking up with me ?”

Now he sounded like a true ninny but didn’t really give a damn. Buffy smiled.

“ I don’t think that’s actually a verb. And we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“ And after that I’ll make love to you” he said in a low caressing voice, kissing her on the most sensitive spot on her neck. She shivered but nonetheless pushed him away gently.

“ Tomorrow” she repeated.

He stole her a last kiss before heading down to the basement.

Putting her hands on her burning cheeks, Buffy sighed. This time, she’d better know what she was doing. If she hurt him again…but she wouldn’t.

Because now she knew she needed him.

She knew she loved him.

When Spike arrived in the kitchen the following morning, Cordelia was there feeding Connor.

“ Hey “ she said with a cheerful smile.

“ Mornin’. Is everybody still sleeping ?”

“ Looks like. Hey there, not so fast, honey,” she told the baby, pulling the bottle slightly away.

Spike opened the fridge. The first thing he saw were the packs of blood. With his name on a tag on it. He smiled. Ok, that could be either Buffy or Dawn, and the packs were probably there since some time, but still…the sun seemed suddenly more brightened. Which was of course very unhealthy for him. But he felt ridiculously happy about it.

“ Spike…”

“ What ?”

He put the blood in a mug.

“ Could you feed Connor for me for a few minutes ? I really have to go to the bathroom”

“ What ?!” This time he had a look of horror on his face. “ I don’t…think…”

Cordelia smiled.

“ Come on, if Angel can do it, you can do it. Just hold the bottle like this…see ? Very easy.”

She turned to leave then stopped.

“ Buffy trust you…so I guess I can do the same, right ?”

“ You can” he said, watching her in the eyes.

“ Thank you”.

She disappeared, leaving him completely disoriented. He managed to keep the bottle right and Connor kept on sucking. After a few seconds, Spike relaxed. The baby was watching him with big eyes.

“ Hey Connor…nice to meet you.”

Of course there was no reply. Just more sucking.

“ I’m Spike…William. I’m one of you’re father’s…huh…friends. Sort of.”

“ You seem to enjoy that” he added, showing the bottle. “ Did you try with some blood in it ? No, of course not…you’re not a vampire.”

The baby suddenly smiled and Spike couldn’t help but smile back. He looked around him. No one in sight. He leaned closer to the baby and put a finger on his little round cheek.

“ You are so cute I could just eat you up” he said, patting on the baby little nose.

Then realizing :

“ Oh no, wait ! Not that way, of course ! Please don’t tell anyone I said that.

“ Gah !” the baby said, still smiling.

Dawn entered the kitchen and opened her eyes wide. Spike, in black T-shirt and silk black boxers – silk black boxers ??! – feeding a baby.

“ Wow” she said, smiling. “ I should take a picture and blackmail you till the end of the world.”

“ Very funny. And as the end of the world happens almost every week here, you wouldn’t make much money. Besides, I’m not used to feed babies. I used to feed off

them.

“ Euwwwww! Thanks for the visual !”

“ Hey, I was evil, remember ?”

He realized he had just said “was”. Like in “not anymore”. He had hold on to this “proud to be evil” thing for such a long time…like his motto, his “raison d’être”.

Now he didn’t need that anymore. Technically, he was a vampire, so he was still evil somewhere. But that would be for the outside. In this house…a part of him was feeling like William again. Not the bad poet…the nice man.

“ So” Dawn said, preparing herself a bowl of cereals. “ Connor, he is like…your uncle, right ?”

Spike stared at her blankly.

“ Huh ?”

“ Yes. Connor is Angel’s son. And you’re Angel’s grand-childe. So that makes Connor your uncle.”

Spike looked at Dawn, then at the baby. Then at Dawn.

“ Don’t you have to go to school ?”

Dawn chuckled.

“ You sound like Buffy. You’re spending too much time with her.”

“ I wish” he muttered.

The young girl put her bowl in the sink and grabbed her bag. Then, out of nowhere, she hugged him.

“ Try not to be killed when I’m at school” she said with a smile, but in his eyes he could see genuine concern.

“ I promise “ he answered, feeling confused and glad at her display of affection.

Cordelia came back.

“ Still no sign of Angel ? Well…do you mind watching him a little bit more while I get dressed ?”

Spike nodded.

“ Go ahead. The little guy and me are buddies, now.”

He putted his mug in the microwave and came back to the baby. He took the bottle. There was some milk left.

“ You’re sure you don’t want anymore ?”

Buffy chose this moment to enter the kitchen. She smiled at the scene.

“ This is worth a pic…”

“ For blackmail, I know “ he interrupted her. “Do you remember when I was called the Big Bad ?”

“ Seems like centuries ago “ she said, coming closer to him. She brushed Connor’s cheek.

“ He’s so adorable.”

She looked at Spike.

“ I can’t believe I reacted so stupidly the other day. I’m sorry.”

He smiled.

“ Don’t worry. It’s ok. And I’m sure you’ll have a whole bunch of kids someday” he added, hating the bulge that formed in his throat at that idea.

Buffy saw him looking at Connor with a strange expression on his face.

“ Do you think about it sometimes ? “

“ What ?”

“ Not having children…never. Do you regret it ?”

Spike stayed silent for a moment before saying:

“ Yes, sometimes…when I think of the great mom you would have been for them.”

It was Buffy’s turn to stay silent.

“ That’s the sweetest thing someone have ever said to me” she finally managed to say with a trembling smile.

His face was grave now.

“ I mean it. I’m serious about this Buffy. About us. But I need to know if you are too.”

She took his hand, entangled their fingers. Staring in his blue eyes, she whispered:

“ I love you.”

He looked so shocked it was almost funny. She was about to prove it with a kiss when Connor started to cry out loud.

“ Bloody Hell !!”

Spike turned to him.

“ What’s wrong now ? You’re jealous ? Don’t worry, you’ll find a girlfriend too…in eighteen years.”

Buffy took the baby in her arms.

“ Shh, Shh, don’t cry…”

She put several little kisses on his face and he stopped crying. Spike leaned towards him.

“ Thanks, mate. Thanks for ruining a perfect moment.”

Buffy smiled to him.

“ We’ll have plenty of perfects moments.”

Cordelia appeared again, fully dressed.

“ Hey, Buffy. Thank you for taking care of him.”

She took the baby.

“ Come on, honey, lets go wake up that lazybones that’s your daddy.”

Buffy turned to Spike.

“ I have to go to work.”

Her smile vanished.

“ Be careful. That threat over your head is really scaring me. Mostly because we are so helpless about it.”

He nodded.

“ I’ll stay in the basement. And Angel and Cordelia are staying with me. No need to worry for the moment.”

She put her hand on his chest.

“ When this is over, I want us to start again. For real this time. And…we’ll tell the others.”

“ Can’t wait to see their faces” he smirked.

“ I just hope they’ll take it as well as Tara.”

“ Tara knows ?”

Buffy acquiesced.

“ I see…so that’s where the little allusions came from.”

“ Go now” he added, seeing she wasn’t eager to leave. “ Don’t be late at work.”

“ You’re more important than that stupid job.”

He smiled.

“ Never thought I would hear you say that…Don’t worry, ok ? This guy doesn’t even know we know. He doesn’t know I’m here. He’ll probably wait around the cemetery tonight waiting for me to take my stroll.”

Half convinced, Buffy nodded. She had that bad feeling…

“ I’ll call them and tell them I’m sick.”

“ No ! Buffy, You’re starting to hurt my pride, here. I know this guy is human, but I’m not a little girl ! I can defend myself. Even you couldn’t defeat me, remember ?”

“ Because I didn’t really wanted too. I’m sorry. I’ll go now.”

He smiled reassuringly and kissed her gently.

“ Have a nice day, love. “

“ Probably not. But thanks ever so.”

She left with a last kiss.

Alone, Spike took his mug from the microwave. But it slipped from his hands and its content was spilled on his T-shirt. Bloody great, he thought, wiping the blood with a towel. Hope it’s not a bad sign or something.

“ Do you know if Giles left some of his books behind ? “ Angel asked. They were sitting in the living room, reading newspapers.

“ Yeah, I think. They’re probably at the Magic Box. “

Cordelia looked at Angel.

“ Why do you want Gile’s books ?”

“ I don’t. Wesley does. He asked me to check on some books for him.”

“ If you want them” Spike said “better take them before Anya comes back from her honeymoon. Otherwise she will summoned one of her vengeance demon friends and cast some horrible spells on some important parts of you. Valuable parts…” he added with a devilish smile.

Cordelia looked at him.

“ You’re kidding, right ?”

“ Actually…no. You don’t know Anya, do you ?”

“ I don’t think I want to, now” Angel said.

“ We were sort of friends a few years ago, just before graduation” Cordelia remembered. “But then I left for LA and never saw her again. I can’t believe Xander and her are married now. They must form a very interesting couple. Anyway, I don’t want her to put a bizarro spell on you, or your…parts” she said to Angel” so you’d better go now.”

“ Right, chief.”

She gave him an annoyed look and he smiled innocently. With an exasperated sigh, she left the room.

“So…” Spike said with a grin. “You and the cheerleader ?”

Angel raised an eyebrow.

“ So…you and the Slayer ?”

Spike’s smile vanished.

“ Who told you ? How do you know ?”

“ I didn’t…until now. But I’m not blind.”

Spike stared at him, trying to figure out what Angel was thinking.

“ We’ll I don’t think that’s any of your soddin’ business. She doesn’t love you anymore. She loves me” he added with a sort of childish pride that almost made Angel smile. Almost.

“ I still care for her a lot” he told his childe.” I don’t want you to hurt her. If you do…”

“ You’ll kill me, I know, change the tune, mate, it’s getting old. And did it ever occur to you that she would not necessary be the one hurt in that story ?”

To be honest, that didn’t really surprise Angel. He had witnessed Buffy’ harshness sometime…It was impossible to love her without suffering. But she was worth it.

“ I know her, Spike, and I know you. So that may surprise you, but I see exactly what you mean.”

“ Yeah…she’s turning me into a bleedin’ ponce.”

“ And you love it.”

“ Every minute.”

They stayed silent for a moment. Then Spike said:

“ That doesn’t bugger you more than that ? Buffy and me ?”

Angel shrugged.

“ I trust Buffy’s judgment. That doesn’t mean I’m going to perform the Dance of Joy.”

“ The what ?”

“ Never mind. Old story.”

He watched Spike closely.

“ You wish it would bugger me, do you ?”

Spike gave him a mischievous smile.

“ Yep…’t’ would have been more fun, for sure.”

Angel rolled his eyes.

“ Do you know if they have the key to the Magic Box ? “

“ In the kitchen.”

He gave it to Angel.

“ I’ll go check that list Wesley gave me. I hope I took it with me…”

In the kitchen, Spike saw his half-empty mug from this morning. He was going to finish it when someone knocked on the back door. Without thinking, he opened it.

Ooops, maybe not a good idea, he thought too late. Fortunately, it was just Riley standing on the other side.

Wait a minute…Riley ?

Spike frowned.

“ What are you doing here ?”

“ Hello Spike. I could ask you the same thing.”

“ Buffy’s not here, so I suggest you leave. Oh, and I suggest you don’t come back either. For your own good.”

Riley smiled. A charming, deadly, cold smile.

“ I’m not here for Buffy. I’m here for you.”

Spike made a face.

“ Yuck. No thanks, mate. You’re really not my type.”

He prepared to close the door but Riley blocked it with such violence that even Spike was surprised. He looked at the commando.

That’s when it hit him.

Human, tall, dark-blond, good-looking…the man from Cordelia’s vision was Riley.

He felt a little sting in his neck, then everything went black.

From upstairs, Cordelia heard a noise of broken glass. She sighed.

“ I can’t let them alone for two minutes.”

She came downstairs, went in the kitchen. The door was opened.

“ What…?”

She suddenly saw the blood on the floor, amongst the pieces of the broken mug.

“ Oh my God…Angel ! ANGEL !!!”

The vampire arrived.

“ What ? Are you…”

He noticed the opened door, the mess on the floor.

“ Where’s Spike ?”

“ I don’t know ! I heard a noise, and found the kitchen like that.”

She grabbed his arm.

“ It’s happening, Angel. My vision. We have to do something !”

“ Run to the Doubelmeat Palace and get Buffy. Damn !”

Himself was helpless, as it was still broad daylight. How could he have let it

happen ?

Cordelia had taken the car and a few minutes later she was back with Buffy. A very white Buffy.

“ What happened ? “ she asked.

“ We don’t know. It went very quickly. I was in the basement and didn’t hear anything.”

“ You were supposed to protect him !” she shouted. “ I knew I should have stay. I knew it…”

Angel didn’t answer, feeling guilty.

“ Ok, we have to think “ Cordelia intervened. “ Why did Spike open that door ? Maybe it was someone he knew…someone who didn’t represent a threat in the first place.”

“ I don’t know…”

Buffy put a hand on her forehead, blinking back tears.

“ I’ll go search for him.”

“ I’ll go with you” Cordelia said. “ Angel, wait for the girls to come back then you can search on your side.”

The vampire nodded.

“ Find him” he just said.

“ We will.” Cordelia answered. She remembered the vision…the pain she had felt…She prayed silently it was not too late already.

When they came back, Tara, Willow and Dawn were in the kitchen. Seeing the desesperate look on Buffy’s face, Dawn started to cry.

“ You didn’t find him”

That was not a question. Cordelia sighed.

“ We looked everywhere. In places I didn’t even know existed in Sunnydale. Where’s Connor ?”

“ Sleeping soundly” Willow said.

“ Angel hasn’t come back yet ? “ Buffy asked.

“ No”

A glimpse of hope appeared in the Slayer’s eyes.

“ Maybe…maybe he found him.”

“ Maybe” Tara said, not believing it for a minute. Neither of them did.

Angel came back a few minutes later. Alone.

“ I’m sorry” he said to Buffy. “ Nothing”.

He sat, took his head in his hands. Cordelia put an arm around his shoulder.

“ They can be anywhere” Angel added.” Still here, or very far…”

“ or dead…” finished Buffy with a hoarse voice.

“ Don’t say that !” Dawn cried.

“ What about a location spell ? “ Buffy asked Tara.

“ I tried already. For some reason, it didn’t work. It doesn’t always work” she said almost apologetically.

“ It’s all right, honey.” Willow said softly.

They all sat for a moment in silence.

“ It’s no one’s fault “ Cordelia finally declared. “It was supposed to happen. We were wrong by thinking we could prevent it. But that doesn’t mean we have to give up.”

Buffy got up, angry.

“ I’m not giving up ! But we don’t even now where to start !”

Tara came to comfort her. She only understood what Buffy was going through.

“ I can’t lose him, Tara, she whispered. Not now. Not like that.”

“ I’m sure he’s going to find a way” the witch assured her. “ He knows how to defend himself.”

“ I’m afraid it’s beyond his capacities, this time.”

Angel got up.

“ What do you want to do, Buffy ?”

She looked at him with a blank stare.

“ I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.”

Dawn was still crying softly and no one could find anything to say.

“ I’ll go check on Connor” Cordelia murmured to Angel.

She squeezed his hand gently and he smiled to her.

“ This is so frustrating” Willow said, echoing Cordelia’s thought of the night before.

“ I don’t remember ever feeling so helpless” Buffy said. “Not even when I had lost my powers. It was nothing, compare to this.”

“ Is anyone hungry ?” Tara asked. “ I…I can prepare something.”

She blushed, feeling like she had said something indecent.

“ Good idea” Cordelia said, coming back. “ We have to eat, after all.”

“ I’ll go patrol. I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here waiting.”

Buffy got out, fighting the urge to cry. She would go to the cemetery. Maybe he had got back to his crypt, she thought, knowing it was really unlikely.

Of course he wasn’t there. She went downstairs, sat on his bed, remembering when they had made love . The souvenir was so vivid she couldn’t help it and began to sob uncontrollably. Then, holding his pillow, she drove off to sleep.

“ Hey, baby. Why did you cry ?”

Buffy opened her eyes. Spike was above her, watching her lovingly.

“ Spike ? My God, I thought I had lost you…”

He laughed.

“ Lost me ? I’m not dead yet…”

Then he bent over her and whispered in her ear:

“ I’m not dead yet…”

Buffy sat up suddenly with a small cry. A dream. It was a dream. But he’s still alive, she thought frantically. I can feel it.

She left the crypt, headed back home.

They all had barely slept, and the sun was slowly rising. Willow had made breakfast, and they were eating in silence. Buffy opened the fridge and blinked when she saw the blood pack with Spike’s name on it. She closed the door rather harshly.

“ He’s not dead yet “ she said in a firm voice. “ I’ll go on searching.”

“ Where ?” Angel asked.

“ Anywhere…Anywhere I can think of.”

“ We will all go” Cordelia said.

“ Thank you”

Buffy got dressed and waited downstairs for the others. There was a knock at the door. Who could…it was barely 8 o’clock.

She opened the door.

“ Hey, Buffy.”

“ Riley…Oh my God…”

He smiled.

“ Can I come in ?”

“ Oh…of course ! I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to see you…”

Not to mention this is really a bad timing, she thought.

“ I came back yesterday. I…I couldn’t wait to see you. I missed you, Buffy.”

“ Riley…”

Dumbfounded, Buffy couldn’t think clearly.

“ Riley ! Hey !”

Willow arrived and smiled at him.

“ What a surprise ! When did you came back ?”

“ Yesterday. I was…”

“ You…Who…who are you ?

Cordelia was looking at him with a face full of dread. Angel took her arm. She was breathing heavily.

“ Cordy ? What’s the matter ?”

She showed Riley with a trembling hand.

“ It’s him ! The man in my vision ! It’s him !”

Buffy turned a horrified look to Riley.

“ What ? What vision ? What are you talking about ?”

The Slayer grabbed him by his vest.

“ What did you do to him ? Answer me !

He raised his hands.

“ Wow, slow down, Buffy. I didn’t do anything to your precious Spike, I…

A gasp from Willow made him realize his mistake.

“ I never mentioned Spike’s name “ Buffy said. She put her hand around his throat.

“ Now, tell me where he is. TELL ME !

“ Ok, ok” he said, almost chocking. She released her grab a little.

“ He’s probably dust by now, anyway “ he answered with a vicious look. “ I tied him up on a grave just before sunrise. You can say goodbye to your lover, Buffy.”

Buffy released him completely, paler than chalk.

“ No…” she whispered. “ You’re lying…Why would you do that ?”

“ Why do you think ?” he shouted. “ I came back a few days ago, hoping we could start anew…And I saw you ! The two of you, kissing in front of this house. Kissing like your life depended on it !!”

All stares turned to Buffy, except for Tara and Angel.

“ I had warned him…I had told him that if he touched you I would kill him. Slowly and painfully.”

“ He’s completely insane” murmured Cordelia.

Riley did indeed seemed completely off his track. His eyes were gleaming with a crazy light.

Angel went to him, grabbed him and vamped out.

“ I never liked you, you jerk, but now I have an excellent reason to kill you. I should actually thank you for that. But first, you’re going to tell me where you let Spike.

Now !” he growled, and even Willow and Tara back off, impressed.

“ In his cemetery. Not far from his crypt. The name on the grave is Ellen Segara. But you’ll be too late !”

Buffy was already on the street, running like mad. Please no, she thought, please…

She arrived in the cemetery, searching frantically for the grave. When she found it, she fell on her knees.

Ropes were on the ground. But no sign of Spike. The grave was situated full south.

She put her hand in the grass, looking for dust. She couldn’t find any. But she could barely see because of the tears blinding her. She couldn’t believe he was gone. In such horrible conditions…

“ No ! she cried at the sky. Please bring him back ! Please…

She lied down on the ground, crying painfully.

Tara, Willow, Cordelia and Dawn had just arrived.

“ Oh my god” whispered Tara.

“ No!” Dawn reached her sister and took her in her arms.

“ I can’t believe this is happening” Willow said softly.

The two sisters got up, calming down.

That’s when they heard the moan.

“ Did you hear that ?”

A second moan came from a thick bush not far. Buffy ran to it and brushed the leaves away. There, on the ground, a badly beaten but very much still undead Spike was lying.

“ Oh my God ! He’s here !!”

She fell near him, taking her head on her lap.

“ Spike, can you hear me ?”

He opened his swollen eyes. He had ugly bruises and cuts everywhere. Like when he had been torture by Glory, only worse.

“ I hear you” he said through his dry lips. “I’ve been calling you for ten bloody minutes but you were crying so loud you didn’t hear me !”

“ I’m sorry” she said, smiling through her tears.

“ Hey, Spike” Cordelia said. “ I’m glad I didn’t see the dust part of you.”

“ How are we going to take him home ?” Dawn asked, relieved but still shaken.

“Willow, check in his crypt for his car keys. Then bring the car the closest you can and bring a blanket.”

“ Ok”

She left and Tara went with her. Less than twenty minutes later they were all back at Revello Drive.

Angel was waiting for them anxiously, pacing in the living room, checking sometimes on Connor. The baby was playing quietly, blissfully unaware or the dramatic events surrounding him.

They brought Spike in Buffy’s room, laying him on the bed.

“ I’ll take care of him, now.” She said.

The rest of the gang headed back downstairs. Riley was lying tied up and unconscious on the couch.

“ What did you do to him ?” Willow asked Angel.

“ Punched him a little too hard, I guess.”

“ He was crazy. That trip to Central America probably drove him mad. Then he comes back and finds his ex-girlfriend in the arms of a vampire… “

Cordelia took Connor in her arms.

“ Well, this little guy here love being in his daddy vampire’s arms…and I do too “ she added for Angel’s ear only.

“ What are we going to do with him ?” Dawn asked.

“ I know who to call” Willow said, picking up the phone.

Spike was resting in Buffy’s bed. She had undressed him and cleaned his cuts. Now she was watching him, waiting for him to wake up.

He opened his eyes.

“ Hey.”

“ How are you feeling ?”

“ Like I have been drugged and beaten and…oh wait, that’s what happened, right ?”

She smiled, lying down on his side. She caressed his forehead, one of the only place not bruised or burned.

“ I thought I had lost you” she whispered.

“ Well…I’m not dead yet.”

Remembering her dream, Buffy smiled.

“ I know…”

“ I didn’t see it coming. One minute he was talking to me, and next thing I know I had a syringe in my neck. Bloody wanker !”

“ We didn’t know what to do. Then he showed up and Cordelia recognized him. But we thought it was too late “ she said, shivering at the bad memory.

“ I think he thought I would stay knocked off till sunrise, and he didn’t bother to tie me up too hard. It saved me. I managed to free myself a few seconds before the sun hit the grave and crawled under that bush.”

“ Let’s forget about it, ok ? It’s way too painful. Let’s just…forget about it.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her forehead.

“ Ouch “ His lips were still hurting.

“ You need to rest some more. Go back to sleep.”

“ Only if you stay with me” he answered, already half-asleep.

She closed her eyes, entwined their fingers. Now that he was back where he belonged –in her arms and her bed- she could finally rest peacefully.

Later that evening, the couple came down. Spike was feeling much better, even if his bruises were still apparent.

Dawn rushed to him.

“ You had promised” she told him with a reproachful glance.

“ I’m still here” he said. “ Ok, it was very close this time.”

He kissed her and she hugged him.

“Where is Riley ?” Buffy asked.

“ I called Graham earlier” Willow said. “He came and took care of him”

“ I wonder what will happen to him…”

“ I thought you said you wanted to forget about it” Spike reminded her.

“ So, Buffy, Spike… Don’t you have something to tell us ?”

Buffy blushed.

“ I never wanted you to learn it like that. It just happened. But we’re sure about this. So I hope you’ll get along with it.”

“ I had guessed something was going on” Dawn said. “And I’m really glad for you too.”

“ And I will not be the one blaming you for loving a vampire” Cordelia added softly.

Buffy watched Willow, could see her friend was feeling a little hurt for having been left out of her best friend’s confidence. But the redhead finally managed a smile.

“ I think I understand” she finally said. “ If you’re happy…then I am too.”

She hugged Buffy then Spike. The vampire smiled, relief.

“ Well, that went on rather easily.”

Willow shot him an ironic look.

“ You think ? Wait till Xander come back…”

Angel got up.

“ I think it’s time for us to go back to LA, then.”

“ Wait !” Tara said. “ I have something for Cordelia.”

She went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle full of clear liquid. She handed it to Cordelia.

“ I made some research, today, and came up with this. It’s a remedy for the migraines caused by…uh, unnatural forces. It’ll take away the pain immediately. Just put two or three drops in some water. And it’s harmless, of course. “

Cordelia hugged her very tightly.

“ Thank you…you’re saving my life.”

“ Not only yours” Angel added softly. “ Thank you, Tara.”

“Let me help you with that.”

Spike took one of their bag, as did Willow. Cordelia was holding Connor and they all went to the car. Buffy and Angel stayed behind. She turned to him.

“ Thanks for everything” she said.

He shrugged.

“ I’m glad everything went fine. I would have hate to bury Spike a second time.”

“ You still care about him.”

“ I supposed…in a weird vampire way.”

He watched the younger vampire for a moment then said:

“ Don’t hurt him.”

“ I won’t. I love him too much.”

“ That’s precisely my point.”

“ You survived.”

“ Barely…but yes, I did. “

“ Be happy with Cordelia…well not that happy, of course. And if you need anything…Call me. Call us.”

He smiled, and they hugged for a moment, before going to the car. They all said their goodbyes. Spike leaned on Connor’s crib.

“ Bye, Uncle Connor” he said and Dawn giggled. Angel turned to him.

“ I don’t have time to watch you back, so…try to avoid ex-boyfriends”

“ Does that include you ?”

“ If I had wanted to get rid of you, I would have done it a century ago. Take good care of her”

“ I will.”

The car left the alley and the little group came back inside the house.

“ Well, I don’t know about you but I’m beaten “Willow said.

“ I think I win on that one” Spike smirked.

“ Right. Sorry. I’d better go to bed.”

Dawn yawned and kissed everyone.

“ I’ll do the same. Goodnight.”

Spike looked at Buffy with a mischievous grin.

“ I think I’m going to lay down and rest…and I may need a nurse.”

She gave him an innocent smile.

“ I can call the hospital and ask for one.”

Then, as he was watching her:

“ Unless you mean that kind of nurse…”

“ Exactly.”

“ Then I think I can do something for you…” she whispered, savoring his mouth on hers.

The doorbell rang.

“ I can’t believe this !” Spike yelled. “ Who is it now ?”

He opened the door.

“ Xander ! Anya ! So nice to see you, guys!”

Willow and Tara arrived also, alerted by the noise. Everybody was talking at the same time.

“ How was Hawaii ?”

“ Did you have a nice weather ?”

“ I can’t believe you’re back already!”

“ I need a bloody beer…”

“We’re sorry for showing up so late” Xander said. “ But we wanted to see you.”

“ Do you want something to drink ?” Buffy asked.

She went into the kitchen, followed by Spike. Xander watched them with a strange look.

“ Sorry for asking, but…What is Spike doing here at this time of the night ?”

Willow and Tara looked at each other, then smiled.

“ Uh, Xander…maybe you could sit down first…”

FIN THE END