Part 2 - The Sting

Spike put the cell phone down when he walked in the crypt. Took off his coat. Threw himself into the chair in front of the TV. He was reflecting on the evening. This wasn't kitten poker he was playing, that was for sure. But he'd had it. It was time to resolve it. One throw of the dice.

It was a big gamble, yes. But not the kind of gamble it would have been before the chip revelation. And the whole thing was having unexpected benefits. Planning and executing this party had been really good for him. He felt confident. He felt gainfully employed. He was meeting a lot of new people. Re-acquainting himself with Angel, (who he'd always suspected he'd like, if Dru and Darla had stayed out of it). And he was having fun.

Still, he was playing with fire. Especially if Buffy figured out what he was doing before it was too late. Like he'd figured out that she was trying to relegate him to NeuteredXander status. How dare she? After everything he'd done.

He chuckled to himself. Hell, he was making her crazy right now and he wasn't even into Phase Two. It was a good thing there was no Big Bad lurking around right now. This wedding had put everything on hold. The Buffy being wrong thing had barely come up . and only between the two of them. And in passing at that. Wasn't like her, to accept something like that on faith. Especially since she was the Queen of Denial.

It was taking a lot to stay away, to stay cool, to keep from beating some sense into her. Bad choice there. Been there, done that. Wasn't really his style. Well. not now anyway. To keep from grabbing her and ravaging her. He'd done that (or had he been the ravaged party?). It was time for some finesse. Not always his strong suit, but love seemed to be giving him wings. Or at least some self-control.

Spike frowned. But the Angel thing was really a risk. Was he that sure?

He was that sure. And it was kind of cool to have another vamp to pull into this party thing with him. One that he didn't have to worry about killing someone. Unless the someone was him, maybe.

And Buffy? Spike was tired of sensing Mr. Dark and Brooding everywhere. Spike had had Angel thrown up to him for the last time. So he was going to take care of it. End it. Somehow. Of course, when the Slayer was involved, his plans had a way of ... not working out.

Spike wasn't certain of anything in this unlife, but he was damn sure how he felt about Buffy. And by the time he was through putting on this party, she'd be sure too. One way or another. He just wasn't feeling very patient anymore. He'd stopped being patient the night she kissed him in the Bronze. So .

One throw of the dice.

But he was loading them carefully as he went along. And enjoying it more than he ever had enjoyed anything in his life or unlife.

He hadn't been lying. They'd be talking about this party for years. When the whelp was so old he didn't remember his own name, his last conscious thought would be this party.

It might be Xander's party, but for Spike it would be the bachelor party he never had.


*******

Willow really didn't care, but she felt obligated to ask. Especially with Buffy knocking around the kitchen rearranging the cabinets that Willow had organized perfectly after she and Tara had moved in to take care of Dawn. She felt a surge of anger. Suppressing it, she decided Buffy must need to talk (why else would she be in the same room with her?) and as her "best friend," Willow should invite her to do just that and get it over with. Willow wasn't feeling very "best-friendy" right now, but no one really took how she felt into account anyway.

Willow sighed. Loudly. Buffy was really getting on her nerves.

Buffy whipped around in relief, forgetting the cabinet's contents (Willow gave herself 'snaps' for that part).

"Did you say something, Will?"

"Nope. You must've been hearing what I was thinking. Oops. Sorry. Forgot about that whole mind-reading-bad deal. So. What's up with you?"

Buffy relaxed a little and threw herself down in the kitchen chair across from Willow and her computer. "This whole bachelor party thing is way out of control."

"Oh, gee, Buffy, you shoulda said something. I'll be glad to help out. Bring it on. And maybe Tara -- maybe you could talk to Tara. Oh, I forgot. She's doing Anya's party that night. You know, puttin' it on. Maybe we could split up the responsibilities to make sure old Xander has a high old time!" Willow hated every bouncy word that came out of her mouth. But this was who Buffy expected. They all did. Even Tara. "You know, I would have asked sooner, but Anya said Spike had it all handled."

"Oh, he does. Believe me. In addition to the chip, Mr. TechnoVamp has a cell phone practically implanted in his ear. Too bad the Initiative wasn't looking ahead. At least he'd have two hands for
patrol."

"Mmmm. You're all growly bear Buffy. What's wrong?" Willow managed a little encouraging smile. She sure hoped her face didn't crack open.

"Well, for one thing, Spike barely has time for patrol anymore. I'm all alone out there!"

"He's not helping? No wonder you look so tired all the time. Hey! We can help! Just like the old days. Put on our holsters and saddle up." Willow inwardly winced and hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Buffy answered her silent plea. "Oh, no, it's okay. He *patrols* every night. Buffy's brow puckered in a frown. "Well, most every night." Wonder what's up with that? "And he always lets me know if he's not. He's just . not really there sometimes." Okay, Buffy became aware that that was lame. "Just going way overboard on this party. This whole last-night-of-freedom thing." She laughed. Mmm. That sounded better.

Willow smiled at Buffy, trying to get a smile in return. Of course, that seldom happened in these post-Resurrection days. "Awww, c'mon, Buffy. That's kinda nice. That he's so into doing this for Xander. I would have felt really weird throwing a bachelor party for him myself, even if he has been my best friend since birth. This way, I don't have to . to feel all weirdy, I mean. This is a guy thing, you know. Big time."

"Will, you don't understand. This is no little thing he's doing. He's planning it like an all-out assault. Like the old Dru days. I'm glad I'm not a caterer. You know how Spike can get when he
doesn't get what he expects." No, Buffy, she doesn't really. Focus on the party. This is not about you and Spike.

Willow was beginning to get interested. She was a little out of practice of course, but she was so sick and tired of Spike being Buffy's new best friend. He was the one she'd been talking to, confiding in, since she'd gotten "back." Willow was sure of it. And Willow was damned sure that it was because Spike hadn't been involved in any shape, form or fashion with Buffy's over-processed, over-analyzed resurrection.

Buffy realized Willow was looking at her questioningly. "What? Oh, assault. I didn't mean murder and mayhem. Nothing like 'Goodbye Mr. Chip' or anything like that. It's just that he's like . Man on Mission. He walks around with that damn cell phone in his hand. Making…calls. Getting…calls.." Buffy trailed off in confusion. What?

"So he's become phone friendly. Majorly phone call guy. " The lameness of the old perky Willow's banter was in danger of making new and improved Willow hurl.

"Oh, that's just the beginning," Buffy continued, rewarming to her subject. This was working into a Spike bitch session. Those were very cathartic. Buffy leaned toward Willow confidingly. "We stopped in Willy's last night after patrol ... you did know Spike rented Willy's out for the night, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I really didn't get it. I would have thought the Bronze."

"Oh, well, get this. Spike says the Bronze isn't sleazy enough to have the right kind of atmosphere for the final night of decadence and drunkeness for a condemned man. "

Willow laughed in spite of herself. She relaxed a little.

"Anyway, we stop at Willy's ."

"And you ended up in a bar fight!"

"What? No, no fight. "

"But you always end up in a bar fight if you go to Willy's with Spike."

"Oh. Well, yeah, we do. Sometimes I don't fight though. I just watch. But this time, no fight. We stopped in Willy's to check on the bandstand. The stage. For a band."

"I didn't know Willy's had a bandstand."

"It didn't. Now it does. That's when I find out. Spike's booked a band for the party! Not a d.j., not a karaoke machine. He's booked a live band."

"Now I wish I were going. Are you sure we aren't invited? Can we crash?" .

"Oh, c'mon, you know Spike's taste in music. I think they're mostly dead by now. You know death, drugs and rock and roll. I think Billy Idol's touring again though. Hmmp." Buffy considered that a
minute. Dismissed it.

Willow was getting way more intrigued with this conversation than she'd been at the prospect of it. It was almost like old times. Almost. "So who's he got booked?"

"Won't tell. Says it's a surprise. He's put together a song list though. To supplement, he says. You'd think he was booking Madison Square Gardens. Big expensive rented sound system. Real sound engineer. An independent, you know. And Willy's practically calling him Mr. Spike. Has a Bloody Mary --and I do mean Bloody -- waiting on him when we go by."

Willow decided it was fun to watch Buffy wig out. "Well," Willow prodded, hoping for more crumbs, "I don't know very much about the plans at all. Just what Anya's told me."

"Well, I don't imagine Anya knows this. Will, Spike is bringing in a professional stripper from L.A.! Well, technically, Angel's bringing her ."

"Whoa. Hold up! Angel? Our Angel? Well, your Angel…well, not anymore, but…that would mean. Well, duh. It does mean . Spike's talking to Angel."

Buffy nodded grimly. "And Angel's talking to Spike. All the time. They call back in forth just to check in. Big cell phone buddies. They have plans to hit the Bronze the night after the bachelor party, the night before the wedding. 'Raise a few pints for old time's sake, luv.' "

Buffy's horrendous English accent cracked Willow up. "' Pints' takes on a whole different meaning when you're talking about those two."

"Oh, you think it's funny? Well, I don't think so. The two of them drunk, talking, comparing notes."

Buffy and Willow sat silent for a moment. Willow was trying to get the image of Spike and Angel with arms around each others' shoulders trying to get back to crash at Spike's crypt. Buffy's image was a lot different.

Willow broke the silence. "Anya told me Cordy was coming, " she said slowly. "I thought it was odd, but Anya said Xander was fine with all of it. All of a sudden Xander's fine with whatever. If Angel's coming, I guess Connor's coming too?"

"Oh, it's going to be a regular caravan. The May Queen. Vampire ex-boyfriend. Miracle child. And all of Angel Investigations. Spike's decided we're all one big happy extended dysfunctional family."

"What? But why? Xander doesn't even know . well, Wesley of course. Ewww. That's weird, too."

"Spike says Xander has a lot more in common with professional demon-hunters than the 'blokes' he works construction with and that Xander needs more male friends." Buffy spouted like the BuffyBot.

Willow giggled again. "That's so lame, but sweet."

"Oh, yeah. Sweet. He says that that way *they* can give Xander his next bachelor party."

Willow laughed at that. A real old-fashioned Willow laugh. Buffy rambled on absently. "He's even got somebody working for him. Some kind of planner. Handles the daytime stuff with the caterers, liquor distributors, sound guys . you know, party stuff. And that planner calls all the time. Even during patrol. He's figured out how to put the phone on vibrate so it doesn't alert the bad guys."

"Anne."

"And when we go. what? Who's Anne?" Buffy had no idea how much of the conversation she'd missed during her rant. She hoped Willow hadn't noticed.

"Anne, the party planner."

Buffy's jaw dropped. "Spike's party planner is a woman named Anne?"

"Uh huh. I don't know her last name. Anya met her a few weeks ago when she came by to see Xander about the party. Ask him about food preferences, alcohol . you know, detail stuff. Anya said Xander's jaw dropped so far when he saw her, she felt like she should put a worm in his mouth. Anya liked her, though. Said she was very professional…really knew her business. " Willow laughed, remembering. It hadn't seemed so funny a few days ago. "Anya said she thought she'd try a long red wig and higher heels on for Xander. See if that heated things up a few hundred more degrees." Willow shook her head. "Those two have a really rich fantasy life."

Buffy didn't answer and Willow frowned. Buffy seemed mighty disturbed over a wig and high heels. "It's okay, Buff. Anya wasn't mad or anything. I think she's feeling real secure now that the
wedding's so close and all."

"That must be it," said Buffy, absently. Willow was losing her and suddenly, it felt really important not to.

"Buffy, what is it? Oh, Angel. That's got to feel weird."

"Well, there's more to it than that. Willow, I."

Slept with Spike. And I really enjoyed it. Every time. And I'd like to do it again, but things got all weird. Like they always do with me no matter who's involved. And now he's so different since he's got something to do except wait for me to show up. And ..

"Never mind. I just need sleep. Lots of sleep. Wake me . when the wedding's over." Buffy got up and left the kitchen before Willow could try and stop her.

Willow shrugged. Same old Buffy. What difference did any of it make anyway? Except . well, maybe a visit to Anya .

Willow turned off the computer and got up out of chair to get dressed. She was almost . excited?

Part 3 - Turnabout

Spike had no idea he was the hot topic of conversation in the Slayer's kitchen. He was too busy to even consider it.

Spike also had no idea that Anne was going to have such an impact. If he had, he would have exploited it. As it stood, the first caterer he spoke with realized that Spike's plans were going to take a lot of work. So the caterer recommended a party planner. And gave him a name.

Spike had set up a meeting at the Bronze and they'd continued the meeting at Willy's. Spike had been impressed with her grasp of the magnitude of what he was planning. She'd made valuable suggestions and helped him sweat the details. He'd gotten the initial quotes. Now he made a deal with her. 10% of the total cost of the party. And 100% of whatever she was able to save on the cost through negotiations.

A very expensive party, Spike admitted to himself. But if he was going to crash and burn with Buffy, he might as well go out with a bang. And he had to respect Xander for having the balls to marry an ex-vengeance demon, reformed or not. He deserved a good loud, drunken send-off.

Money. He checked. He was still ahead, even after paying cash up front for everything. Still, he had to have the stake to play the game, so it was about time to have another go.

Graduating from kitten to high stakes poker hadn't been as hard as he thought. It was paying for the party, and all Spike's little incidentals. He hadn't knicked anything from the convenience store in weeks. Spike frowned. Shook his head. Didn't have time to think about it.

He grinned to himself in anticipation. The gentlemen he was playing cards with weren't the nicest sort, but they knew how to keep a civil tongue in their heads. And you could use your winnings at the convenience store. Couldn't do that winning at kitten poker.

******


"Have you noticed that no one ever threatens us at Willy's anymore?" Buffy reflected on this odd fact as they left the bar. She stopped at looked back at Spike. "Spike?"

"What, luv?" Spike said absently. He looked up from the book he had open in his hand. "Sorry. Wasn't listening."

Buffy recognized the book he was carrying. "You carry around a daytimer now?"

"More like a 'nightimer.' he chuckled, coming up to Buffy. "And I'll be bloody glad to chuck it once this bleedin' party is over. Except that ." Spike took a second look.

"Spike. Spike! Willy's."

"Yeah?"

"Nobody ever threatens to kill us anymore when we're there. We . you haven't had a good demon bar fight in ages. Now it's demon-heads-down-minding-their-own business. Rather than 'oh, you're the Slayer, you kill our kind' and 'oh, you're a vamp but you kill your own kind. Let's fight.' What's up with that?"

"It's because we've become highly respected members of the community," Spike said offhandedly , engrossed with his schedule for the next three days. Noticed he had an appointment tonight. Shook his head. He'd forgotten all about it.

"What community? Slayers R Us? Spike, close that book!"

"Sorry, luv. You were saying?"

"Highly respected…? Spike, they hate us!"

Spike gave Buffy his full attention. "But they respect us. It's safer than being liked around here."

Buffy looked confused. "I don't see it."

Spike laughed patronizingly. "Of course not. You hate me *and* you don't respect me. How could you possibly understand it?"

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but Spike patted her shoulder. "Look, just relax. Accept it like a gift. The respect, I mean. You've earned it." Spike chuckled. "I'd've had their respect before now if you hadn't publicly kicked my ass so often. And so often undeserved at that." He lowered his voice, eyes sparkling. "Sometimes I was even trying to be nice."

Buffy ignored that remark and the look in his eyes, which was becoming distracting . She looked down quickly. Spike chuckled again.

Buffy recaptured the thread. "You said they respect *us.* Spike, do you . uh, they think we're like a couple or something? Because if they do."

Spike snorted. "A couple?" he laughed bitterly. "As in boyfriend/girlfriend, lovers in the crypt kind of thing? A Slayer and an evil soulless vampire? Not bloody likely!"

"Oh."

Spike reached in to his pocket and dug out his cell phone. Dialed numbers. Looked evenly at Buffy before he hit the send button.

"Of course, if you'd like to be absolutely certain about that, luv, you have my permission to go right back in there and make a general announcement to that effect." He looked down and hit the send button. "I've got to go. Running late for an appointment."

Buffy just stood there, not quite sure what just happened. As she watched him stride away, back to her, she looked down at the stake that had somehow made it into her hand. Then at his back. She sighed. Shook her head. Started home…alone.


********

Spike groaned as he rolled out of bed the next afternoon. He'd won "early" and gotten out "early." He'd had a couple hands that had run close and he hadn't really felt on top of his game. Shaking himself awake, he got dressed and sat down with the remote to the new VCR.

According to his daytimer, he had about six hours and some change. If he fast forwarded through the parts he didn't care about, he could probably catch up on "Passions."

Spike settled back into his chair with a mug of breakfast and some anticipation of a nice escapist afternoon. And heard something. A hesitant knock on the door. Frowning, he got up and opened it a crack and stepped back away from the light. And saw Tara standing there, looking . well, uncomfortable. He hoped it was nothing he'd done.

He pulled the door open further, making sure the daylight was staying on the other side of the door.

"Well, hello. C'mon in. Places to sit and all."

Tara inched in, stopped just inside the door.

"C'mon, luv. You know I don't bite." He chuckled. "Well, not anymore anyway. Hey. Come on in so's I can close the door."

"I .wasn't sure you'd be up. I didn't want to bother you or anything."

"You? A bother? Never happen. C'mon. Sit. Been a while since I've seen you about. Got some flavored water in the fridge. Or I could make some tea. Take a minute, but ."

Tara relaxed. "No thanks."

Spike smiled. "So what's up? Got a big bad you want me to fix?"

Tara smiled back. "No big. Bad, I mean."

"Oooh. C'mon, luv, give. What brought you to my crypt at such an early and unsightly hour?"

Tara looked down and looked back up from under her lashes at Spike and relaxed some more. "Well, you know I'm having a party for Anya at the Bronze. Just a few of us girls. Lingerie shower slash bachelorette party. And Anya said you were doing Xander's and ." She looked back down and colored slightly. Pretty little blush, Spike thought.

"And?"

Tara took a deep breath and it came out in a rush of air. "Anya wants a str - stripper. A male stripper. For her party. And I don't ."

"Well, me either, but hang on. I bet I know someone who does." Spike retrieved the cell phone off the table by the chair and hit re-dial. He looked at Tara reassuringly as the phone rang.

"Anne. Good. S'me. Need a favor. A friend is having a party for the bride. And the bride wants equal time. Whoa. Hang on. Not the whole thing. I think she's got it covered." Spike put his hand over the phone and looked at Tara. "You do, don't you?"

Tara breathed out quietly, "Yes. Oh, yes. This was the only thing that I ."

Spike uncovered the phone. "She's got it all covered except for this one detail. Male stripper. Good one. And not some bloody awful gutter trash either. These are ladies we're talking about here."

Spike listened a moment and tore a sheet of paper out of the daytimer. He looked up at Tara. "When?"

"The same night as yours. I thought your recovery idea made sense. I've never been to one of these, but I think they can get kind of…well, wild. And I know Anya likes to have fun."

"Right," Spike nodded knowingly. "Okay, the kittens are planning on their fun the same night as the bachelor party. "

Spike took down some information on the sheet of paper. Wrote some more. Frowned in thought and wrote some more. "So then. Check it out for me. I'll cover the bill." Tara opened her mouth, shaking her head. Spike waved her off, covering the mouthpiece again. "Gift to the bride in advance payment for what my party's going to do to the groom." He said in explanation. And he spoke back into the phone. "She'll call you. Her name is Tara and she's a good friend. Take care of her. Right. Thanks, luv."

Spike got up and crossed the room to where Tara was standing and handed her a piece of paper. Tara took it, barely looking at it.

"Anne's number is on that sheet of paper. Call her this afternoon. She says there's a guy goes to UC Sunnydale that does this sort of thing. Pretty good, she's used him before. No complaints. She'll see if he's available and book him if you like."

Tara smiled gratefully. "Thank you so much. I didn't know ."

"Of course not. Nice girl like you. This kind of blue and bawdy stuff isn't really your style at all. Glad to help. Anything else you need? Need to talk?"

Tara thought a moment. "No," she breathed. "Thanks." Tara turned to go, relieved at the ease of the whole thing.

"Don't mention it." Tara turned back into Spike's eyes locked levelly on hers. " I mean, literally, don't mention it. Don't tell anyone I had anything to do with this. I'm taking enough from flack from Buffy about the bachelor party. Don't need to add to it. And you're welcome here anytime, ducks. You actually knock first, which may take some getting used to, so you might want to knock a little harder next time. My cell phone number is on that piece of paper as well as the bloke's name. Call me if you get in a muddle. Any kind of muddle at all."

Tara glanced down at the piece of paper. "Thanks. I will call. Oh!" Tara did a double take and looked hard at the piece of paper.

Spike saw her surprise. "What is it?"

"Spike! I know this guy! He's gorgeous. He's a theatre major. Oh! And he's gay!"

Spike laughed at the confused look on her face. "Well, don't tell Anya. Girl deserves a few illusions. Almost-last-night-of-freedom and all."

Tara laughed. "Bye. I'll come back by sometime." She smiled at Spike. "Really I will."

"Countin' on it." He said meaning it. "Steer clear of the nasties now. It's getting late."


*******

"Buffy, you can't not let me go! I'm a bridesmaid!"

"Okay, okay! Here's the deal. No negotiation. You can come to the shower part. You just leave before the 'in the gutter' part. Spend the night with Janice."

"What! That is so mean! Mom would let me go. I'm almost sixteen!"

"It would just embarrass you," Buffy retorted.

"No. It would embarrass you!"

"Look, Dawn, this is a lingerie shower, too." Buffy attempted to reason with her. "The gifts are bound to be a little racy. I think that's enough 'grown-up' for one night. And it's not going to be just us guys. Some of Anya's friends from the Sunnydale Business Women's Association are coming too, so it's going to be all adults."

"I don't know about that," Dawn snarked back. "You'll be there, right?"

Buffy spun around at the low chuckle that sounded from the hallway.

"Spike, can't you knock?"

"Well, you never do." Spike said as he came into the room. "Hey! Everybody's decent. Bloody hell!"

Dawn scuttled over to Spike, wearing her most appealing, wounded, put-upon face. "Spike, Buffy won't let me go to Anya's bachelor party!"

Spike put his finger on Dawn's nose and pressed lightly. "Now, Dawn. You're exaggerating. Buffy said you could go. To the shower part. Think she's right, luv. Don't want my girl corrupted by a brood of randy old hens. Bad enough to see naughty little bits made to cover naughty little parts. Plenty enough excitement for one night," he smiled mischeviously.

Buffy opened her mouth to call him down on that one.

"But Spike .!" Dawn started to whine shrilly.

Spike cut off the whine and his voice became firm. "Dawn. That's enough of that. Buffy is right. Even I think Buffy is right. Tell you what. I'll come get you and take you to Janice's for the night after the shower. Get you out of that corrupting atmosphere."

"Well." Dawn considered. Buffy couldn't believe it. Spike had Dawn wavering in her resolve. "Can we…?"

"No stopping off, Little Bit. Not that night. Straight to Janice's and no loitering. I can't be away from Willy's too long, even if I have made a sizeable donation to the Sunnydale Police Retirement Fund in anticipation for this event. Don't want to push it. But after the wedding, I'll make it up to you. Rent videos and order up pizza. Like the old days, okay?"

Buffy couldn't believe how Dawn's resistance had suddenly melted away. She almost resented it, but squashed that reaction. At this point, whatever worked!

Buffy looked at Spike over Dawn's shoulder and mouthed "thank you," as Dawn bounced out and started up the stairs.

"You're welcome," he said absently, watching Dawn go up to her room. "Remembered I didn't tell you I'd meet you for patrol. So I thought I'd catch you before you left. Let's get this knocked out. I've got lots to finish up. Deadline's approaching. We may even have to make a couple of stops while we're out."

Buffy couldn't believe he was being so dismissive.

"Can't Anne handle it?" she said hotly.

Spike's head snapped up and he looked at Buffy, puzzled. "Anne? She's got plenty enough on her plate already. But if it's wastin' your valuable time, I'll do it after."

"No," stated Buffy, aware that she was in danger of making a fool of herself. "It's okay. I want this party to be really nice for Xander."

Spike laughed wryly. "Luv, 'nice' is the last thing I have in mind."


********

Two days.

Willow was getting a little bit excited. She'd already wrapped Anya's gift and giggled as she did it. Willow had also talked to Tara for a few minutes on the phone. It had been strange at first: Tara hesitant, Willow apologetic. But Willow had felt so much . warmer . just hearing Tara's voice that she tried hard not to sound needy or defensive or any of the things that had made Tara go away. The more they talked about the party, the more the coldness, that had taken up permanent residence in the pit of Willow's stomach, had receded.

She almost felt . good . when they hung up.

The phone rang again. Willow hurried to pick it up.

"Red?"

Willow felt a twinge of disappointment, but didn't let it get to her.

"Spike?" And Willow giggled at the image that had just popped into her mind. "Are you calling me on your cell phone?"

"What? Yeah. Listen, Red," Spike blurted out. "I've been goin' at this party thing for Xander full out, racking my brain for ways to make it something to remember for him and I might have made a very big blunder. I've realized I should have asked you about it before I did it. But . I didn't. And now. well, better late than never."

Willow felt a flutter of apprehension. Spike sounded all soft and apologetic-y, like after Buffy went away.

"Red, it's still light out and I don't really want an audience for this. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you pop by? I'll be sure to put away the instruments of torture and all if you do."

"Spike, you're making me feel all fluttery. How bad is it?"

Spike didn't answer.

"Okay," she sighed. "I'm dressed. I'm leaving. Oh. Hanging up the phone now."

"Good. See you in a bit," he said with a trace of dread in his voice.

Just like Spike to destroy her good mood, Willow thought as she approached the crypt. How about some cutting of the slack for the old Willow-meister?

Willow pushed the door open and stepped inside, her eyes adjusting to the low light. She looked around in surprise. Boy, this place looked like somebody lived here!

Spike came up the stairs from below. "That was quick. Listen, I didn't do this to hurt anyone, understand? Just didn't ask the right questions. Thought it was all okay now. No, that's not true. I
didn't consider your feelings. Didn't even cross my mind. You've been with Tara and so I ."

Willow sat down heavily on the edge of the sarcophagus. "Right."

Spike approached her with an apologetic look in his eyes and his voice reflected it. "Buffy told you I'd hired a band, right?"

Willow stared. Where was he going with this? Oh. Willow put her head down in her hands, covering her face.

Spike's voice began again, even softer and sadder. "See, I didn't know everything. I knew he used to help and I figured he and Xander had been like . mates. Then, after it was all booked -- for certain, I mean -- I told Anya and she."

Spike heard Willow making a muffled squeaking noise.

"I shoulda remembered. I was there right after he left, but I clean forgot. You and Tara being together so long and all. I'm sorry. Really. I'll cancel. Find another band. Stake myself. Except that
I'd miss the party and ."

Willow couldn't let him wallow anymore. She looked up at Spike with her eyes sparkling.

"This," she gasped in laughter, "was the horrible thing. You've booked Oz's old band for the party?"

Spike nodded. "And Oz," he said carefully, gauging her reaction. "Tracked him down. And it wasn't easy either. If I'd just asked instead of playin' so fast and loose."

Willow reached out and patted Spike's arm. So…cold, she thought distractedly. Sometimes she just forgot. "Spike that's all done and over. It might even be good to see Oz right now."

"But ."

"Spike. Tara will be fine with it. I made a choice a long time ago. Things may be rough right now, but they won't always be. Sure wish I could see 'em play, though."

"Well . that was the other thing. Rehearsals have gone so well, they're booked in at the Bronze the night after the party, the night before the wedding."

"Oh, yeah. You and Angel's big night out." Willow giggled. "I heard. Believe me, I heard. ' Raise a few pints?' That's a rare one, even from you."

Spike looked so relieved that Willow almost patted him again. Instead she hopped down and headed for the door.

"Red?"

"Huh?"

"Thanks for not being mad. And keep this between us for now if you would. Surprise for old Xander, okay?"

"When is Oz coming in?"

"Oh. I thought you understood. They're in rehearsal. Over at Angel's old place on Crawford Street. Oz and the band are crashing and rehearsing there."

"Okay. And Spike, I hope all this works out exactly the way you hope it will," she said smiling as she closed the door behind her.

From your mouth to God's ear, he thought reverently.


*******


The party was tomorrow night. Spike couldn't believe he'd put himself in this position. Spike couldn't believe he'd put Buffy in this position. And Spike couldn't believe Angel hadn't brought it up before.

Buffy's eyes flashed dangerously. Spike was eyeing the stake in her pocket. He knew she was quick on the draw and he hoped he'd be able to get out of the way.

"Let me get this straight. Everyone's coming in tomorrow. And you've invited Cordelia, Fred and Angel's son to stay at Casa Summers."

Well, Slayer, I didn't know what else to do. Got myself in a bit of a spot. The baby needs to be in a private residence. So he's safe from any uninvited vampires. Can't chuck him in a hotel room. Angel can crash at the crypt, though. No problem there. Or he could stay with the babe and you could ."

"Crash here? Are you nuts?" Buffy blurted out, just as Spike finished, "at Tara's."

Buffy realized what he said and felt embarrassed. And just a little disappointed that he hadn't asked. Even though she wouldn't have if he had. What?

"Okay," Buffy said, resigned to the nightmare. "Whatever. We'll decide later where Angel stays. Let's go patrol, all right. Find something simple to do. Like stake some evil. I'm sick to death of
thinking about this wedding."

"Right. But I might have to leave. Need to go over some last minute daytime details with Anne. You understand, right?"

Buffy wondered just how hard it would be to kill Spike.

Part 4 - The Plan

Buffy decided that killing Spike wasn't worth the flack she would catch from Dawn. Or probably from Xander. He was really looking forward to his party.

Spike picked up his duster and grabbed the cell phone. Buffy made an impatient noise. "You with your cell phone and your daytimer and your appointments. And your 'party planner," she grumbled.

Spike turned to Buffy, daytimer forgotten. "Have you forgotten you strong-armed me into this, Slayer?" he asked curiously, wondering what she expected anyway.

Buffy threw her arms in the air. "I didn't expect you to take this on like it was Prince Andrew's bachelor party."

Spike smiled. Then frowned as he saw her face darken. He didn't have time for a Slayer meltdown right now. They had patrol and he had lots of things to finish up. "Slayer." he warned.

All her insecurities slammed into drive.

Buffy's eyes hardened. "Let's cut to the chase, okay? I've been up against you more times than I care to think about right now. And I have to give you a round of snaps in planning and execution. Your schemes have always made some kind of twisted sense. And you've almost gotten the better of me more than once. So forgive me if I'm feeling a teensy bit paranoid."

Spike stared at Buffy. He sure hadn't seen this coming. He should have known she gave in too easily about Cordelia and Fred and .. Frantically, without betraying it on the outside, he wondered how he could get her outside before the crypt got irreparably trashed.

He wasn't even listening to her. "Spike. Have you heard a thing I've said in the last three weeks?"

"Now, luv."

"Don't call me that. Or pet, or Goldilocks or even Slayer. Buffy. My name is Buffy." She took a deep breath and let it out.

Spike tried to figure out where they were headed with this conversation. But he was busy dealing with an overwhelming sense that fists and feet were imminent. And although he liked a good brawl as well as the next bloke, he did not want to fight with Buffy.

Buffy continued. "You know, I haven't had to second guess you in a long time now, Spike." She sighed. "I am so out of practice. And it's just too much effort."

Spike opened his mouth to speak, but a gesture from Buffy made him decide he'd better shut it. Besides, she was talking. Really talking.

Buffy laughed wryly, but it had a slightly broken edge to it. "I have racked my brain, going over everything in my head a dozen times. Every tidbit of information. But I don't have a clue." She took a deep breath and set her shoulders, looking levelly and honestly into Spike's eyes.

"I give," she confessed.

Spike's surprise was etched across his face. She bit down and chewed on her lip. "I give up. I cave. I surrender. 'Uncle.' The L.A. crew will be here tomorrow and I need to know what your big master plan is. " Despite her flat emotionless voice, her whole body was betraying her tension.

"Plan?"

"Your plan." Buffy stated in a reasoning tone. "Whatever bent little confrontation or revelation or whatever your reason is for inviting Angel here. I need to know."

"Buffy."

"It's okay. You've pulled it off. ProActive Buffy is no longer in the building. All I can do is react at this point, you know."

Spike slowly smiled and stepped forward, taking Buffy's shoulders in his hands.

"Buffy," he chuckled softly, "there is no plan."

He felt her shoulders slump, as she dropped her eyes. "I knew you wouldn't tell me," she muttered.

Spike shook her, just a little, so she'd look up at him. He smiled encouragingly. "Buffy, it's true. There is no plan. Just a party."

The miserable look on her face morphed into something sharp and glittering. "Don't. Don't 'Buffy' me in that soft 'bed' voice that makes me even more . crazy. Why else would you have invited Angel and taken the chance that." She stopped abruptly. Took another breath. "I've got to figure out how to feel . " She dropped her eyes in surprise at her own words. "Uh, deal. Deal with it."

"Buffy, look at me. Buffy." And risking unlife and limb, he caught her chin and lifted her face so that she was looking in his eyes. "There is no plan," he assured her again. "In the beginning, there was the spark of a plan. More like a glimmer, actually. But the last few weeks, I've taken turns both kicking and congratulating myself for making that bloody call to Angellus.

"Buffy, this party has made me see things a whole lot differently." he smiled. "Especially myself. It's been a long time since I had a purpose that wasn't directly tied into you. I needed that, I think. The last few weeks, I've felt almost . alive. And believe me that's something to savor and not overthink when you've been dead as long as I have."

Buffy tried to wrap her mind around his words to absorb the meaning.

She breathed out in a whisper. "There's no plan?"

"No plan."

And she slapped the living hell out of him.

The slap only rocked Spike back a step or two. His hand absently went up to his cheek. Startled, he looked at her stiff stance, the fighting glint in her eyes. Took it all in. His face changed with his body language, as he drew himself up and raised an eyebrow to disguise the hurt. "Oh. I see. I was confused. I forgot it was exclusively AllAboutBuffy."

Buffy winced.

"So. Angellus is on his way back to Sunnydale with his extended family unit. There are no big nasties to kill or heart-crushing deaths for you to lay on his big broad shoulders this time. Just a party. And a wedding. Joyous times," he said muttered thoughfully, turning and presenting a very attractive target to Buffy. He reached the table, slowly picking up cigarettes and lighter. The lighter snicked open. Lighting the cigarette, still not turning to face her, he said quietly and calmly, "Seems to me you've got some thinking to do." He slowly turned around. "What is it you want?" He looked her over in that hungry, predatory way he had that made her knees weak. "Or rather, who?"

Buffy swiftly dropped her eyes, looking intently at a spot on the floor.

"Put your mind at rest. There will be no big public confessions, revelations or confrontations. This is between me and you, pet. Not you and me and Angel. Not you and me and the Scoobies. Nor Dawn. As of now, this discussion is on hold until after the wedding.

"Xander and Anya have been planning this for a long time. I've worked damn hard to make this party the grand send-off that he deserves."

"This time, Buffy, it's not AllAboutYou. I'm sorry about a lot of things, Buffy. Your mom, your responsibilities, your best friend, your Watcher. But . someone needs to tell you that it's someone else's turn. And I guess, as usual, I'm elected."

Buffy didn't look up. Tears were fighting to escape, but she wouldn't let them. She wouldn't sniff, either.

Spike walked toward the stairs to his room. Spike stopped. "You know, it's early yet. I'll catch up with you later for patrol. Got a few things to do first."

His parting words cut across her and left her bleeding.

"You can let yourself out, right?"


*******


Tara took a deep breath and relaxed back into the chair as she checked the last item off the list. She felt so much better now that the party stuff was all done.

When Buffy had come by yesterday to ask Tara if she could move Anya's party to the night before the wedding, Tara had been stunned. And embarrassed.

"Gee, Buffy, if the Bronze is available -- the balcony, I mean -- it shouldn't be a problem. I'm just sorry I put you in this position."

Buffy had just laughed. "I don't know what we were all thinking, leaving the Hellmouth undefended a whole night. The wedding's going to be bad enough. And I hoped it wouldn't give you as much trouble as it would Spike."

"If I can get the balcony at the Bronze, everything else is easy." Tara assured her. "I'm just so sorry, Buffy."

"Don't be. I think we've all gotten a little giddy over this wedding. They're the first of us, you know. Maybe the last. Who can tell? Do you need any help? Anything I can do? See if the stripper's available on the next night?"

"No, no." Tara said quickly. "That's okay. I think I can manage. I'll call if I need help, though."

"Spike's going to do patrol the night of your party. Maybe take Angel and his boys with him. But the night of the bachelor party, I could use a little backup." Buffy grinned in invitation. "Want to go patrol with me?"

Tara grinned. "Haven't had to do that since you got back. I hate to say it, cause it sounds a little sick, but yeah, it'd be fun."

"We'll all go. Drag Cordelia along, too. Leave Dawn and Fred with the baby. Besides, it'll take our minds off what's going on at the bachelor party." Buffy chuckled.

Tara hadn't thought about it too much at the time. She had had to call Anya, the Bronze, and Anne and the guests. But now that everything was all set, again, she sat back and thought about it. Going on a full patrol would take them all right past Willy's. That area was a well-known Hellmouth hot spot.

Tara's eyes gleamed a little. She'd never seen a real live bachelor party. Maybe they'd peek.

********

Buffy's eyes were still wet when she got home. Spike had been right. It was still a little early for patrol. And she needed the quiet of her room right now. She almost bumped into Willow as she headed for the stairs.

"Whoa!" Willow involuntarily grabbed Buffy's arm when she saw the look on her face. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

Willow's voice was so warm, so caring, so Willow, that Buffy blurted out the first words that came to mind.

"I hate him! Hate him!" And there was a fresh onslaught of tears following this revelation. Willow pulled Buffy against her and pushed her head down on her shoulder as Buffy quietly sobbed.

"Oh, Buffster, it's okay," Willow murmured. "Buffy . shhh." Willow thought about it for a minute. "On second thought, honey, boohoo all you want." Willow felt better about Buffy than she had in months.

Buffy pulled away a little from Willow abruptly to look at her. "Will, it's not always just AllAboutBuffy, right?"

No, Willow thought sadly, looking at Buffy, lately it's been AllAboutWillow or I would have known something was wrong. "Well, you've had a lot to deal with lately." Buffy's chin began to quiver. Willow grabbed her and hugged her. "No, of course not." But who would have . .Willow suddenly had a thought. Oh. Oh!

She took a chance. "Spike tell you that, sweetie?" she probed gently. Buffy nodded miserably into Willow's shoulder. "You two have a fight?"

Buffy looked up childlike into Willow's eyes. "Uh huh. I wanted to know why he invited Angel and he said." she gulped. "He said."

"What, honey?"

"That everything wasn't always AllAboutBuffy. And he told me to leave." she whispered.

Willow looked into Buffy's swimming eyes and wondered how or when she could ever thank Spike for this gift. She pulled Buffy's head back on her shoulder and let her cry herself out.

Buffy, her best friend Buffy, was back.


************


Willow sighed. Buffy had cried and then pulled herself together, announcing that she had to patrol. When Willow asked her if she needed help, Buffy shook her head.

"You really don't need to patrol all by yourself right now," Willow reasoned. "Dawn's at Janice's and we could ."

"It's okay, Will. I won't be alone." And that was all Buffy said.

As night deepened, Willow left the house and found herself on Crawford Street. She walked up the steps, wondering idly at the open front door.

Willow took a deep breath and walked inside, her eyes falling on a lone figure who was crouched down stuffing a t-shirt into an old battered duffle. Her breath caught.

Oz's head came up and he smiled. "Thought that was you." At Willow's puzzled look, Oz indicated his nose and sniffed.

Willow grinned, "You smelled me comin'?"

"You must have been a little nervous about seeing me, I guess. I wanted to come and see you, but Spike seemed like he wanted me to keep a low profile. Everyone else is somewhere eating."

God, it was good to see him. And it didn't hurt a bit. It felt . well, good.

Oz got up and walked over to Willow. His eyes were warm and soft, his look appraising.

"Been having a rough time, huh?"

Willow suddenly knew how Buffy felt. It was hard hearing it like this. Especially from someone you'd loved once and hadn't seen since all the bad things had happened. Tears pooled in Willow's eyes. She blinked them back.

Oz walked over quickly and put his an arm around her shoulder. "It's okay. Sometimes life just gets . hard."

Part 5 - The Surprise

It was 2 a.m. The "day" of the party. Spike was slogging through the cemetery, bone-sore and utterly exhausted.

All of his fears had rushed back when he'd heard Buffy leave that afternoon. They'd marched through his brain and over his heart til he thought he go insane. Or that his heart would stop. Then he remembered it already had. So he sat for awhile. Better that than rushing after her. And what he'd said was true. Someone needed to let her know that the world didn't revolve around her. It was coincidental that his did.

So he and Buffy had silently and grimly stalked every cemetery in Sunnydale (which was no small feat in itself) tonight, making certain that they'd made the Hellmouth as safe as possible for the Slayer, two witches (one non-practicing), an ex-demon (who was still making last minute changes to the seating chart) and ..well .Cordelia. Who Spike privately contended had the most irritating ear-splitting scream he'd ever heard. She'd even put him off eating once or twice.

The silence was getting to him a bit. He paused and turned to Buffy.

But she walked right past him, frowning prettily, a very distracted look in her eyes. He watched her walk ahead and told himself that he deserved better than what he was getting. And that he was better off without her if this was all there was. Spike was fast approaching the 150 year mark, if you counted alive and undead time together. He knew how the years could drag on and on when there was nothing to envision but more of the same.

He drew in another breath he didn't need and set his shoulders, caught up with Buffy, determined to get back on track. He was here to back up the Slayer. So he'd better start paying a little more attention to the foliage. That was hard though. He wished things were different, that they hadn't gone so wrong. He knew he wasn't good enough for her, but he was the best of a bad lot.

Buffy sensed Spike at her shoulder and it broke her reverie. She naturally turned to acknowlege his presence as she had so many times before. She blinked and stopped, completely taken by the look in his eyes.

She allowed herself to fall into the intensity of it. He hadn't looked at her like that in weeks. Her stomach flipped over and her knees gave. Just the tiniest bit.

Then Spike had his arms around her, steadying her, while leaning down to see what had made her stumble. He looked up at her questioningly and smiled. Then he carefully kissed her. .

Her stomach flipped again and she felt herself go hot all over. Spike pulled back from the kiss and held her eyes.

"I love you, Buffy."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak. Cowardice took over and Spike laid his fingers across her mouth. He gathered her in close, holding her firmly to still the shaking -- he wasn't certain whose.

Buffy was enveloped in the smell of tobacco and the crackle of leather. All comfortable things somehow. She let out a little ragged breath, relaxing a little against his tight strength like a
little girl.

Spike kissed her forehead. "Come on," he said softly. "I'll walk you home."

*************


Oz and Willow sat in the dark quietly. Willow had told him everything. Even the fears she hadn't felt she could share with Tara when Buffy had been taken from them and it had been up to her to lead them all. Willow had laughed at herself and cried softly when she told him about the forgetting spell and how Tara had left her. And about how broken Willow had felt when she realized what she'd done.

Oz listened, solid and supportive. He'd led her through the rough patches and encouraged her to say what she had really felt in those lonely months.

"Got some of this from Spike. But not all."

"Spike doesn't know everything. Things got really weird when Buffy got back and I got really angry with Spike."

Oz's words came slowly. "Cause Spike was the one that Buffy chose to spend time with."

"Well," Willow considered Oz's words. "I guess I was kind of jealous. I mean I'm the one who did the spell. I'm the one that ." She looked down at her hands. She looked back at Oz and saw his puzzlement. "The resurrection spell. But I don't want to talk about the spell."

Oz nodded once. "Tried to live up to what you thought the Scoobs needed you to be. You took a few shortcuts. And ended up in a dark place."

Willow sniffed and wiped her face on the sleeve of her jacket. "Tara told me that. Kind of."

Oz smiled sadly. "Of course she did," he said softly. He held her eyes. "She loves you, Will. If she thought you were in trouble, she'd call you on it. Would have done the same myself, okay?"

Oz stood up. "I'll walk you home. I'll be in town for awhile yet. We'll talk again, work through some of it. But for the rest you're going to need Tara." Oz smiled, effectively changing the subject. "The band thing has been cool. Spike's been cool." He shook his head in amazement.

"You must have seen him a lot," Willow hiccupped, grateful for the new conversation.

"Well, yeah, some. He's been here practicing with the band. Song's a little dated, but ." Oz shrugged. "It works for him I guess. Little gift for Xander," he explained, chuckling.

Tears forgotten, Willow looked at Oz in shock. "What?!"


*************

Buffy walked up the steps. Spike had stopped. It had been a quiet walk back, but nice. Like it used to be right after she got back. Before that first kiss. She turned back to him.

Spike nodded at her, indicating the door. "Get some sleep, Slayer."

She paused, "Do you want to . come in?"

Spike looked back at her. He had already started down the walk.

"Tempting. But no. Got to juice up the bar. Steal some clean sheets," he said a little flippantly. "I don't have much company, you know."

She sighed, "Spike, I ."

"Buffy, I'm talked out. Really."

She shook her head. "We don't ."

"Don't what? Have to talk? Also tempting. But I'll pass." He decided it was time to get out now.

"That's not what I ."

Suddenly, in the time it took for Buffy to take a breath, Spike was on the top step with her, nose to nose.

"Slayer, if I come in, I assure you, we will talk." He said softly. "Then we will proceed to some other not-so-talkative things. And probably trash your bedroom in the bargain. I'm bloody tired of waiting on the steps like some neglected pet for you to let me come in. I am in. I'm in here," he said brushing her temple with the side of hand. "In here," moving his hand to rest very lightly over her heart. "Hell, I'm in your gut." She didn't breathe.

He pulled his hand away and leaned back away from her to focus on her whole face and to get away from those eyes that were dominating his field of vision. And he smirked, seemingly changing the subject.

"Want to know why I'm not quaking in my boots at the second coming of The Ensouled One, Slayer?"

Eyes widening, she shook her head. The only part of her that would move.

"Because you're not in love with Angel, you silly bint. You're in love with me."

He laughed and continued in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hell, the only thing I have to worry about is what Angel is going to do to me when he figures it out. Simple staking or full scale beheading. I'd like to see him try. But by God, it would be even be worth going up in flames to wipe that holier than thou look off his face."

Oh, he was mad. She could tell that underneath his cool exterior, he could break her neck. And she remembered that now he could. But knew he wouldn't. Still, she thought it better not to interrupt.

"You know, pet, this isn't some fantasy, some fairy tale romance you can keep trapped in the pages of a book. I'm not interested in little schoolgirls like one I won't mention. And unlike that sodding waste of your time and tears, I'm not going anywhere, and there's nowhere you can go that I won't find you."

He took a breath, and leaned in close, eyes burning like gas flames. They burned right through her eyes and into the back of her brain. She realized she was breathing roughly.

He leaned in closer. In a hard whisper, he taunted her. "I ought to take you right here on the front steps. Or maybe right against the front door."

"But this isn't about the sex. The very good sex." He felt her shift again and the smell of her almost overwhelmed him. He put his hands on the door on either side of her head. But he didn't touch her. He let the weight of the air between them flatten her against the door. "Don't ever think that this is about the sex," he growled.

He felt her nod, holding her breath.

He snapped back to a standing position, dropping his hands to his side. "So. Then." He turned away from her. "G'nite, pet."

And found himself being spun around, back slamming against the door, with one of her small white hands, palm down, against his chest. She was looking at her hand like it didn't belong to her and frowned.

He found his voice and was pleasantly surprised at how steady it was. He put his hand over hers and tenderly took hers off his chest. Kissed it softly and looked at her smirking. "Oho, Baby wants to play." He pushed her hand back at her calmly.

"Well, I'm done playing. And I think you need to go inside before I do something you'll regret in the morning."She turned on her heel and went into the house.


*************

Buffy softly closed the door of the Summer's house and stood quietly for a moment, staring vacantly at the doorknob.

She calmed her breathing, sighed once and started up the stairs. Went back to the door and put her hand on the knob.

What could she say, anyway? He'd said plenty enough for both of them.

She went up the stairs. The light was on in her mom's old room. Buffy changed course.

Buffy peeped in. "Willow?"

Willow was sitting on the bed with folded and unfolded towels all around her. Buffy smiled in spite of herself at her friend folding clothes the old-fashioned way. She inclined her head to the pile of fluffy towels. "Extra points for hand-folding."

Willow grinned. Buffy made a decision, continued into the room and sat down on the bed with a thump.

Willow looked a little concerned. "You okay?"

"Sure. Nothing a nice sharp stake wouldn't cure."

"Oh. Patrol go all right?"

"Oh, patrol was fine. It's all the rest of the time that it sucks." Buffy smiled encouragingly at Willow. "Been slaying that ole Laundry Demon, huh?"

"Wide awake. Had a lot to think about. I saw Oz tonight."

Buffy glanced up from the loose thread in the quilt that had caught her attention. "Oz? He's here?"

Willow nodded. "Long story. Better left til tomorrow. Tonight's installment is that we talked."

"Really? Was it weird?"

Willow considered the question. "No, not really. Not like last time. You know, me the one with the new girlfriend and all. But this time, no falling into a black hole in the pit of my stomach. No paranoia. No what-if moments. It was nice. Like seeing a really special old friend."

Buffy found the loose thread again with her eyes, trying to decide whether to pull it out or not. "Did it make you feel guilty? Not feeling . not being all in love with the first guy you were ever . with?"

Willow thought a moment. "No. Not guilty. But I mean . it's not like I left him for somebody else. He left. I grieved. And then I met Tara."

"Yeah," Buffy said absently as she began tugging on the thread lightly.

Willow stopped folding and waited.

Buffy continued staring down fixedly. "I felt guilty."

Willow leaned over and put her hand on Buffy's knee. "When, honey?" she asked softly.

"When I met Angel outside L.A. After I . got back." Buffy looked up at Willow to see if she remembered and once assured, looked back down at the bed. "I felt guilty. I felt . I don't know, almost unfaithful. Which is ridiculous considering Angel left me and Riley and I had been . you know, since then." Buffy shook her head. "After all the people who were hurt -- killed. How could that just be .gone? All I could think about was getting out of there and getting back here to ." She stopped at Willow's look. "You guys," she finished lamely.

"Mmmm. Well, Buffy, you're not a schoolgirl anymore, you know. And Riley was Rebound Guy."

"Not a schoolgirl," Buffy repeated softly, frowning at the offending thread. "Or a shopgirl, or ." She ripped the thread out of the comforter, staring at the limp thing. "Or anything faintly resembling a girl."

Willow reached across and caught her hand. "Buffy? What is it?"

Buffy looked at Willow's hand and up at Willow's concerned face. And that look released her from her silence.

"Oh, Willow, I'm such a mess. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about Dawn. I'm worried about Xander and Anya and the wedding. I'm even worried about Giles, because Spike said he was busy on Watcher business and might not even make the wedding. I'm real worried about me. I'm worried that all I do is worry." She took a breath. "And . I'm worried about Spike."

Willow was taken aback. "About Spike? Spike is . well, of all of us, Spike seems to be the one who's got it all under control. You know, in a chipped vampire sort of way." She could start paying Spike back for making a hole in Buffy's bubble right now. And it was true anyway.

Buffy snorted derisively. "Yeah? Well, Angel gets here tomorrow night, right?"

"Buffy, Spike invited Angel. You said Angel and Spike were ."

"Oh, they are. For now. But when Angel gets here and figures out that ." Buffy stopped, not quite certain what to say next.

"What? That you and Spike are not just . you and Spike. That there is a 'you and Spike'?"

Buffy looked up at Willow in surprise. "You knew?"

Willow smiled a little sadly. "Well, being out of the 'Buffy' loop and into the whole 'Poor Willow' loop, I didn't figure it out until today. After I thought about it, it seemed pretty obvious. I mean, talk about stamina!"

Buffy gulped. "What?" she choked out.

Willow looked at Buffy and laughed. She couldn't help it. Buffy looked so . funny. Shocked and reddening, Buffy just stared at Willow. "Oh. Ohhh." Willow laughed again. They were definitely going to talk about that later. "I meant the way he'd hung in there. All this time. Even after you were ." Willow tensed up, looking for a word.

"Dead?" said Buffy pertly, recovering a little.

Willow chuckled, tension gone. "Yeah, dead." She got serious. "Buffy, when you . died, I thought he was going to shake apart. I've never seen anyone cry like that, man or woman. He sees Dawn coming down off the scaffold and goes to her and holds her. Then he took her away with him. Back here. Then, he was always here or on patrol with us. Some nights he even stayed here." She got lost in her thoughts, remembering.

"We were all so . numb, Buffy. I think we were waiting for you to get up. All except him and Dawn and Giles. They accepted it. They grieved. I don't think the rest of us really did. I don't think we believed it. I think that was why it was so easy to start looking for a way around it. To cheat." Willow looked at Buffy, imploringly. "Buffy, I am really sorry. I just ."

Buffy hugged Willow hard to forestall that whole line of discussion. "Well, I'm here. And I've got one brassed off vampire on my hands. And probably another one showing up tomorrow. Because I am so not Angel-4ever-Buffy anymore. I'm almost to What-Did-I-Ever-See-In-Him Buffy. I'm worried about Angel figuring it out, because even though Spike says he won't say anything. And I mean, it's not like he's my boyfriend or anything."

"Oh. You just have sex with him. Slutty much, Buffy?"

Buffy grimaced. "Okay, I guess I deserved that just a little, but you sounded like Spike just then." She laughed bitterly. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it anyway. I mean, Spike's not Riley. Spike is . well, Spike. And I don't think he's appreciate any interference from Rescue!Buffy! at all when it comes to Angel. He's practically lifting his leg on every tree in the front yard now!"

Willow laughed and Buffy joined her, even though she was still worried. It was an image, all right.

"Ugly male pride rearing its serpentine head. Ewww. That was phallic, wasn't it?" Willow grimaced, as Buffy giggled.

"Yep. You have no idea. Well, you . no, you don't. Believe me. And it's Spike."

"So? I never thought it was that weird when we thought you were the 'Bot."

"My turn. Ewwww. Hate the 'Bot. Help me forget the 'Bot." Buffy looked at Willow quickly. "Forget the forget, okay?"

"Well, what was it like?"

"What?"

Willow reddened a little. "You know."

Buffy looked puzzled, then looked embarrassed. "We demolished a house. A whole house," she mumbled, looking down where the thread didn't live anymore.

Willow looked at her in shock, then chuckled. "You brought the house down?"

Buffy looked back up at Willow. "It's not funny. I woke up, it was morning and we were in the basement. We didn't start out in the basement, Will. There were beams, flooring, debris everywhere. Jagged pieces of wood. Monster stakes everywhere. And him. Right in the middle of it."

"It was daylight and he was still there?"

"Yeah. How weird is that? Waking up with someone the morning after. That was so . unusual . for me, I mean. First time and all. I didn't know what to do. What to say. And then he . didn't want me to go . and we had a . fight ..cause I guess that's what we do. And I was . mean. And he was . horrible."

"So you treated him like the evil vampire?"

Buffy nodded. "And have ever since. Except when I'm screwing his brains out."

"Buffy!"

"I know, Will. But it's Spike."

Well, try being Logic Girl for a minute. As a boyfriend, Spike has a great track record. I leave out the Harmony part cause she was just Rebound Girl. He was with Druscilla for what? Over a hundred years. And she was nuts. Perfect boyfriend. He would have died for her. He's definitely paid his 'boyfriend dues.'"

"Will, he's a vampire and I'm a Slayer."

Willow nodded. "Genius much?"

"He drinks."

Willow nodded again. "But only pig's blood and alcohol. And hot chocolate. I forgot that"

"He dresses like an 80's punk rocker."

Willow started to say something then, but closed her mouth. She almost told her what Oz had said.

"He roars when he comes." Buffy complained. And then slapped her hand over her mouth, as her words reached her own ears.

Willow looked at her. Then grinned conspiratorially. "Well, at least he's verbal. Doesn't just grunt a little and squeak."

Buffy looked at Willow, head tilted and a smirk on her face.

"I've seen movies!" Willow said defensively.

"Oz didn't ."

"No. But he didn't roar either." Willow scolded.

Willow's eyes glinted wickedly. "Good thing it was an abandoned house. And that he has his own place."

Buffy couldn't help it. She started laughing. Willow joined in. And pretty soon they were wiping wet faces on the clean towels.

Buffy got up. "Well, that's it. I think I'm punchy. You gonna be all right? Need help slaying those towels?"

"Me?" Willow tried to straighten up. "I haven't been this good in a long time. Nite, Buff. Tomorrow is . well, you know, like tomorrow."

"Don't I know it," she sighed.

************

Spike drew on his cigarette and watched the light go on in Buffy's room. He dropped the fag and absently stepped on it with his boot.

It had been awhile since he'd just stood outside her house and waited. He'd been justified in everything he'd said, but he thought he might . well, not apologize but try to explain things a different way. Last chance before the poof slipped in. Spike didn't want her too angry at him. She might pick up and go to L.A. just to spite him.

He squared his shoulders and headed for the tree. No reason to wake the whole household.

*********

Buffy strode to the window and dragged Spike the rest of the way in. He grimaced. Not exactly the entrance he was looking for. She looked around outside. All clear. "Trying to ruin my reputation?"

"Well, it's not like you're not in and out of here at all times of night anyway," he reasoned. "Neighbors probably think you're a call girl."

She ignored the remark, looking him up and down. "Forget something? Think of some other really snarky thing to say? Any new arguments I haven't already heard a zillion times?" She breathed out in half-hearted exasperation.

He spread his hands in surrender. "Buffy."

"No talking. I don't know what to say anyway." She leaned over and kissed him.

Spike opened his mouth to protest.

"Spike, shut up. I want to be with you right now and if I have to gag you, I will. Don't want talk. Or the . other thing. Just want close. Okay?"

**********

Time to go. Didn't want her to wake up with Mr. Big Pile of Dust. And he sure wasn't resting in this little girl room with this child-woman pushing her bare bottom up against him as she slept. And making those delicious little noises.

So much for 'just close.' He'd done so well keeping his distance, letting *her* marinate in her own juices for once. Blown it in an hour's time. Well, maybe two hours. He wasn't keeping track.

He reached for his pants and got one leg in before he heard Buffy start to stir. Got to move faster than this.

Buffy groggily reached across the bed. Not finding what she was looking for, she rolled over to see a shadow standing over the bed, fumbling. She heard a soft clank of metal and a smothered "bloody hell."

"What .?" she muttered in a little girl Buffy voice.

"Go back to sleep, luv." Spike whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Sun'll be up soon. Can't get stuck here."

"Spike?" still groggy.

Well at least she knew it was him. "Shhh." Spike leaned down and kissed her with a gentle sweep of this lips across her cheek, before she had a chance to wake up good and ruin it all. In the same downward motion, he retrieved his boots, t-shirt and duster and slipped out of Buffy's room and down the stairs barefoot. He didn't stop until he heard the snick of the lock behind him.

He sat down on the door step and methodically pulled on shirt and boots. He didn't like this slipping out before dawn. He didn't like the slipping around period. He stood and put on his duster and walked down the front steps, digging in the coat for cigarettes and lighter.

***********

He smoked and looked at the house, waiting for the light to come on in Buffy's room. It didn't.

A little disappointed, he started walking, duster flapping, as the sky turned pink. He wasn't ready to go to the crypt.

Dawn eased back from her window as Spike strode away. She sighed and crawled back in her bed.

She knew she'd heard someone in the house.

************

Spike banged into his crypt. He'd really pushed it to the last possible second and without the blanket, well.. Major possibility of missing the party. He was emotionally exhausted and more than ready to invest in some sleep.

He almost missed the figure sitting in shadow in front of the television. His body skidded to a brief halt until he realized how guilty it looked. And he was anything but guilty, right?

Besides, maybe it was some shape-shifting demon that just looked like Angel. The poof was a full twelve hours early.

"You're early," Spike said as he threw off his duster. This was not how he had envisioned this meeting. And he truly hated to improvise.

"Maybe you're late. It's almost dawn."

"Like to live dangerously. You know that," Spike said with some of his old-time cockiness. Now that was better.

"Yeah. That you do." Angel held up a black cell phone. "Need some help making calls?"

Spike laughed. "Probably. But it's a bit early for that. World's still sleeping. Gonna get some sleep myself. You don't mind, right?"

Angel's face was still partly shadowed. "I'm still kind of geared from the drive. Maybe I'll watch some TV."

Spike nodded. "Got cable, you know. Even some soft porn, if you're still into that kind of thing." Spike's eyes brightened. "Speaking of which. You got the girl?"

"Oh, yeah." Angel ducked his head and looked sideways at Spike. "She's staying at the Inn with Wesley and Gunn. I dropped Fred, Cordy and Connor at Buffy's already."

Spike looked unconcerned, but his mind started churning furiously. "Really? Already? That would have been about ."

"Just about the time you left, I guess."