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When Buffy awoke, Spike was in the bed next to her. Despite herself, she smiled. She would not have admitted it to anyone, least of all him, but she had missed him. Her only hope to get out of this hell. She was feeling too faint to move much, but she took his hand.

* * * * *

Chapter 2: Waiting

Months passed.

One day, Spike awoke alone in the bed. He could hear the shower running. He could also hear sobbing.

Quickly, he went to the 'bathroom', but stopped at the separation curtain.

"Buffy? Luv? Are you ok? "

The sobs grew louder, but no answer came. Pulling the curtain away, he stepped closer to the shower. Through the clear plastic door, he could see her sitting on the floor, her arms around her knees. Suppressing feelings of anger and fear, he opened the shower's door and stopped the water. Grabbing a towel, he managed to wrap it around the crying Slayer and, taking her in his arms, carried her to the bed. He held her tight, smoothing her wet hair with one hand, letting her cry herself to sleep. Even then, he didn't let go off her.

"No."

"Let it out, you will feel better after. "

She was curled against him, her hair damp, her tears gone. But whatever it was she had cried about was still bothering her.

"Come on, Slayer. I am listening. "

And listening he was. Buffy's hearbeat filled his ears, faster than usual, more proof if needed that she was upset. Interlaced with it, an even faster beat, tiny but so strong. The first time he had noticed it, he had had to fight back tears harder than he had fought anything in his unlife. Buffy had shared his delight when he had told her.

He heard and felt her take a deep breath, as if she was readying herself.

"I am afraid. "

"Of what, luv? "

"Afraid we'll never get out of here. It's been months and we're still stuck in this cage! "

Tears were threatening in her voice. He gently rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.

"Close your eyes. "

Unexpectedly, she did, without question.

He started talking to her, in a very quiet voice. Telling her about her life when they would get out. She wouldn't be able to go back to slaying, of course, because of the baby. The Scoobies would take her patrols, and Spike would even help them. Sometimes. Not too often, still. They would all pamper her like a princess and make sure she had all that her heart desired. Xander would tell his annoying jokes. Anya would talk about sex all the time as usual. Willow would do spells to fight demons. She would drink hot cocoa with Joyce and they would buy enough baby clothes for a dozen children. When the baby came, it would be the most wonderful little girl ever.

"Why a girl?" Buffy interrupted him. "It could be a wonderful little boy."

"I say it's a girl. And I say it's time to think about names."

Her eyes opened and a small grin appeared on her lips.

"How about William for a boy?"

His eyes widened for a half second, then he shook his head.

"Girl, Slayer. It's a girl. What's your real name? "

A pout replaced her grin, and he probed further.

"Come on, admit it, Buffy can't be your real name. Your mom is too sensible for that."

A shiver ran through her at the thought of her mother. She must be worried sick. As probably were Giles and her friends. At the same time, a memory came to her. During their Willow-wished engagement, he had teased her about her name too, but this time around it was much sweeter.

"Elisabeth", she whispered.

A thoughtful frown barred his forehead.

"How 'bout Lisa?"

"I was thinking Claire, that was my grandmother's name."

He nodded.

"Sounds good."

Hesitant, he placed a kiss on her forehead. His eyes caught hers, looking at him, and ever so slowly his lips approached her mouth. They had not kissed since the spell had been broken, and even then it had been about dominance, a real fight. Gently, he brushed against her lips, expecting her to pull away. When she didn't, his touch became more insistent, and she replied to the pressure by opening her mouth a little. His tongue accepted her invitation, passing her lips and probing her tongue delicately. She broke the kiss suddenly.

"Ouch !"

He jerked back, wondering what he had done to cause her pain.

"She kicked me", Buffy explained.

Wonder filled his eyes as she took his hand and placed it on her belly. After a few seconds, he was smiling like a child.

"She's practicing her Slayer moves", he said lightly.

For a few hours, they stayed there in a silence only broken when they giggled together as the baby was moving.

If they had counted right, this was their tenth month of captivity, the ninth month of her pregnancy. Ten months without seeing anyone except the vampire. Even with their truce and 'no bickering' pact, he still wasn't who she would have chosen to spend almost a year with.

A year!

The thought was depressing. A year of her life spent doing nothing at all. She had pleaded with the camera, begged for a book, a magazine, a bloody Monopoly game, anything at all to occupy her mind. But she had gotten nothing of the sort. The only things going through the trap door were her food, Spike's blood, and pregnancy clothes when she had complained hers were too tight. It had been two ugly sack shaped dresses, into which she had slowly grown.

Having nothing else to do, they had talked. A lot...

She had learned more about the vampire's unlife that she would have wanted to know. Or rather, more than she thought she wanted to know. With time, she had grown rather fond of his stories, which he narrated as though he wasn't the main character. Sometimes, she forgot that Dru, Angelus and Darla were not figment of his imagination but real beings. She could close her eyes, and his descriptions were vivid enough that she could see all the details, hear all the sounds of what he was describing. Once, she had joked that he should be a writer, and to her mild surprise he had not shrugged off the idea. On the contrary, he had seemed to consider it thoughtfully.

He had told her about a large part of his vampire years, but had rarely let slip anything about his human life. She had asked him why, but had never gotten a real answer. The oldest thing he had shared had been his turning, narrating how Drusilla had chosen him, drained him, before Angelus offered him his bleeding wrist.

She had also told him some of her slaying adventures, but she didn't have the trick to describe with enough details, and he often interrupted her with questions, which was really annoying her.

She wouldn't have said they had become friends, but they were on their way. Strange how in her mind he had evolved from mortal enemy when he first came to Sunnydale, to unlikely ally for a brief period, to annoying but harmless demon, to almost friend now. And father of her soon to be born child.

She was touched by the way he watched her when he thought she wasn't looking. His eyes were then filled with some kind of amazement, mixed with a tenderness she wouldn't have thought the vampire had in him, and, always, a light she had come to recognize as love. There was also a darkness, an edge, that she had not been able to identify for a while, until she heard him promise, one night, as he thought she was asleep, to protect her and their baby until his second death.

"Yes sir, the surgeon is waiting. "

"Good. Today is a fine day to be born, isn't it ? "

A life unlike either of theirs
Vampire but Slayer
Slayer but Vampire

A booming voice filled the room, for the first time in their whole captivity.

"Slayer, it's time for a prenatal check-up. You can either come willingly, or we can drug you. It is your choice. "

A quick glance passed between Spike and Buffy ; he nodded ever so slightly, and she announced to the camera : "I will come willingly. "

"The vampire is to stand in front of the wall opposite to the door. Slayer, stand next to the door, hands on your head. Then we will let you out. "

Spike approached Buffy and gave her a quick hug, his mouth against her ear.

"If you see your chance, pet, run. Don't look back. "

He had spoken very quietly. They had talked about it before, always very low to avoid being overheard. If either was taken out, they were to try to escape and only come back for the other with sufficient back up. Thanking him silently, she brushed her lips against his, receiving a startled look in reply.

A few minutes later, she had had been led by a dozen guards with tranquilizer-guns through many halls, up to a small room where she was instructed to change into an hospital gown. Only two women were guarding her by then. They walked her to the next room, which was obviously an operation room. She saw the table, the IV, the instruments, the waiting doctor and nurse, and a shiver ran through her. They wanted to do more than a check-up. Her bad feeling got worse when she saw the oily man, a condescending smile plastered on his lips.

"Ah Miss Summers, we were only waiting for you. It is time."

The guards nudged her toward the operation table. She stumbled, as if too weak to support herself anymore, which surprised none of the presents. After all, she was a nine-months pregnant woman, and had reasons to feel faint. But before anyone could help her in her fall, she was behind the oily man, pressing a scalpel to his throat.

"Time to end the game, yes. Drop the guns. "

The guards looked at each other, hesitating.

"You heard her. Put the guns down. "

The little man was not smiling any more. Fear was clear in his voice.

"Good. I want Spike brought here. Now. Or I'm going to show you why I'm called the Slayer. "

Her voice hardly contained her anger. She hoped they would believe her; she wasn't  quite ready to harm humans, but if they forced her to then it would get bloody.

At a nod from the man, one of the guards left the room. She motioned the doctor, nurse and remaining guard to stand by the wall, and again they looked at her hostage before obeying.

"You're the big chief here, aren't you ? "

He did not answer, but by the way his body shifted she could tell she was right.

"And what is your name ? "

"Travis", he hissed. "Quentin Travis."

She frowned, the name sounding familiar, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Where are we ? "

She had to press the scalpel more insistently, drawing a little blood, before he answered.

"London. "

She almost dropped her weapon in surprise as she understood.

"Bloody hell", she murmured. "Watchers. "

Again, the shifting in his body confirmed her thinking.

The door opened before she could probe any further, and Spike walked in, followed by the guards who had escorted her before. She saw a brief anger look pass through his face, though whether at her or at the scene, she couldn't tell.

"Medical check up, sure," he muttered, before saying louder, "I thought I told you to run, Slayer."

"Oh, shut up Spike. We said we would get out of here together, and that's what we are doing. "

Before going to her, he checked something that had been nagging at him for months. Without warning, he took a swing at one of the guards, catching him in the abdomen. The man doubled over, as much from surprise as from pain. Spike had to fight himself not to yell or clutch his head. The chip was still there, still active. He had hoped, since he had been able to feed from Buffy in their early captivity days, that the chip had somehow been deactivated, or even removed. No such luck. All these wankers seemed human, so he was completely useless to fight their way out. Cursing silently, he moved to Buffy's side and shifted to game face. He couldn't fight humans, but at least he could look scary. Pitiful consolation.

"Quentin", Buffy said with a growl, "if you're a Watcher I am sure you know how fast I can get pissed off. And these people here are really annoying me right now. So we are going to leave. The three of us. I want a car. I want everybody out of our way while we're getting out. And if I even think your people are planning a nasty trick, you will be dead before you touch the ground."

Spike stared at her, discovering a side to the Slayer that he didn't know existed.

Would she really butcher the wanker?

The Watchers Head didn't talk to the guards. Instead, he looked toward a camera above the door that Buffy hadn't noticed.

"Do as she said, he barked. Clear the way, get a car, no attempt to stop them is to be made. We cannot risk hurting the child.  This is an order!"

Within seconds, the guards were retreating. Within minutes, Buffy, Spike and their hostage were out of the building and in the rainy streets of London.

Spike was driving, making sure no one was following them. Buffy questioned.

"Why? What is this all about? "

She was still menacing the man, and he answered, if grudgingly.

"There's a prophecy. About a Slayer giving birth to children, fathered by a vampire. Children even more powerful than a Slayer. "

Buffy felt ready to heave.

"Playing with Slayers was not enough, so you decided to get yourself new toys, uh? "

Having heard enough, she punched him in the jaw, knocking him unconscious. Her attention focused on Spike, who was scowling in his seat.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Bloody town is all changed," he growled.

His eyes quickly glanced at her in the rear mirror, and he muttered something unintelligible. At the next red light, he wiggled out of his jacket and handed it to her.

"Cover yourself, pet. You're shaking."

She realized she was indeed shaking, both from the cold and the sudden drop of adrenaline.

They had made it.

They were free.

Peeking through the curtains, Spike surveyed the street. He was certain no one had followed them from the train station. That's where they had abandoned the car, as if they had left by train. The bloody wanker had been thrown out somewhere on the way, still unconscious. Spike would have killed him, but the chip prevented him from doing so. Buffy, despite her earlier threats, would not kill a human, even a disgusting piece of trash such as the Watchers Council leader.

Three taxis later, Spike had been sure they were not followed, and they had walked to a home in the dead center of London. Not that far from the Watchers' lair, but then they wouldn't be looking so close. Or so Spike hoped.

He hadn't been in that house for a good 30 years. He had remembered where the key was hidden - ten bricks on the left of the door, two bricks above. A lot of dust covered the floor, but sheets protected the furniture. Buffy had wandered around the old victorian house for a few minutes, strangely quiet. Then on the first floor she had discovered a guest bedroom, uncovered the bed and just laid herself down. Spike had found her asleep a few minutes later, and had had to search a moment to remember where the covers were stocked. A bit dusty, but warm. He had covered his Slayer, and had had the pleasure to see her smile in her sleep.

His eyes still on the quiet and deserted street, he was thinking hard. Ignoring whether she was or not close to the delivery, he didn't dare make her travel. Also, he knew no locating spell would track them here; this was a safe house, out of reach of magic. Years before, he had obeyed when his Dark Princess had pleaded for a protection spell to be cast on the house. She had never been able to explain exactly why she wanted it, but now he was thankful to her antics. Hopefully, the Watchers wouldn't be looking in London; instead they would start searching all cities toward which a train had departed tonight. In England, as well as on the continent, thanks to the Chunnel. In the present circumstances, the safest was to stay hidden. The house was their new cage, but at least no one was spying on them.

A shout pulled him out of his reflections.

"Spike! "

Instantly, he shifted to game face and ran upstairs to the bedroom. There, he didn't find a retrieving party as he had feared. Instead, he saw Buffy, her face contorted by pain. Shock brought back his human mask.

"I think the baby is coming, Spike! "

Again, Buffy was screaming, her hands gripping the bed.

Thinking hard and fast, Spike gathered a few things around the house before returning to her side. He used scissors to rip apart the hospital blouse Buffy had been wearing since their escape. As she was breathing heavily between two contractions, he gently dabbed at her perspiration-covered face with a wet cloth, and talked to her in a low voice.

"Do you want me to call an ambulance and have you taken to the hospital? "

Her reply was immediate.

"Too dangerous. Have to stay hidden. "

He nodded, happy she thought like him. "Then you'll have to do this alone, luv."

"Not alone. With you. "

"There's not much I can do to help. "

"You're here. That's..."

Another contraction made her cry out. He held her hand tight, unsure of what else he could do, afraid that something would go wrong, afraid to lose her. He talked to her calmly, quietly, hoping that his voice was not carrying his panic.

"Listen luv. Women have been doing this for thousands of years. You don't know what to do, but your body does. Just let it..."

"Shut up Spike !' she growled. "If you want to help just kill me nooooowwwwww ! "

Her voice rose to a cry, as her fingernails dug into his skin. For what seemed like hours to her, she clung to his hand desperately, taking comfort in the way he wiped the sweat from her face every so often. When he tried to move farther down her body, she wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Slayer, I'm going to need both my hands now. And you will need to start pushing. OK?"

She nodded and released him. She was panting, waiting for the next contraction. When it came, she pushed as Spike has said, and heard him exclaim: "The head is out! You're doing a great, luv. Just a little... "

She knew he was still talking, but the meaning of his words was lost to her, as nothing existed but her pain and her belly. Oddly, though, she was comforted that he was there, and talking her through this. At the same time, some part of her mind was screaming that this was his entire fault and he deserved to be staked as soon as it was over. All men on this Earth deserved to be staked, if only for the principle.

Suddenly, a cry pierced her mind. Her eyes shot open as Spike deposited the mewling baby on her chest. Her arms instinctively closed around the infant.

"'Told you it was a girl. "

Though he tried to sound casual, Buffy could hear pride in his voice. And when she looked at him, his eyes were shining with tears.

Spike left Buffy and their daughter to give a phone call. He had not talked to the lawyer in a few years. The man was grumpy from being awoken a couple of hours before sunrise, but, with the proper key words, he became quite agreeable. His instructions given, Spike got busy in the master bedroom. In a few minutes, the dust was gone and the bed properly made. Just as he was finishing, someone knocked on the door. He went to open, and led the doctor to Buffy. Again, someone at the door. This time it was the lawyer, still wearing his sleep clothes under his coat. He enquired whether the doctor had arrived yet, and Spike answered with a short nod. He then opened the briefcase the man gave him, but did not bother counting the money. He retrieved a few straps, and gave three to the shocked man with more instructions before sending him out. He then walked to the bedroom, casually placing the briefcase in a closet on the way. The doctor had taken care of the baby.

"Here", he said sternly to the vampire. "Take her and wash her a little. With a washcloth, mind. No bath yet. "

Spike nodded but kept quiet. Tenderly holding the baby against his shoulder, he went into the bathroom and cleaned her up. As he was doing so, he was trying to remember when had been the last time he had held a baby. He thought it had been his sister ; he had been 12 at the time. It seemed like another life, and indeed it was.

Realizing his shirt was stained with birth fluids, he shed it and left it on the bathroom floor. In the master bedroom, he retrieved from a cedar chest a few clothes, untouched by time. He bundled the infant into a cotton shirt, trying not to wake her, marveling at the fact that she had fallen asleep in his arms, caressing her dark blonde hair. Then he slipped on one of his own black shirts - his clothes had not changed much in the past hundred years, and it looked just like the one he had just discarded. He briefly hesitated, but finally grabbed a long, red sleep gown. It was either that or one of his own shirts. He doubted the Slayer would appreciate wearing Drusilla's things, but this was the best he had to offer right now. He hoped she wouldn't be too curious about it.

"'Just fine", was saying the doctor as he came back to the guest bedroom. "Nothing to worry about, though why you didn't call an ambulance I cannot fathom. "

Still holding the sleeping baby, Spike followed the doctor back to the front door. He gave him a full strap of bills, and said in a very quiet but menacing voice: "If anyone asks, nothing happened tonight. You were not here, you have seen nothing. If you so much mention in your sleep that a baby was born, I will hunt you down and kill you."

As he was saying that, he slipped into game face and growled. The doctor jumped, then swallowed with difficulty and nodded.

"I... I understand. I have never been here. "

The human face was back, with a smile. "Glad we understand each other, doc. And thank you. "

Still shaking, the doctor left the house, and Spike double-checked that the door was locked before returning to Buffy. She was still on the bed, naked, dirty, exhausted and beautiful.

"Hey luv", he whispered.

She smiled and opened her arms when he gave her the shirt-bundled baby.

Leaving the gown by the bed, he went in the bathroom and came back with a couple of warm washcloths. Gently, he wiped off the drying fluids off her, then helped her slip the night gown on. He wished to tell her a thousand things, but his throat felt tight and no word could have expressed the way he felt.

He lifted her in his arms, the baby still sleeping in hers, and carried them to the master bedroom that he had cleaned earlier. He laid Buffy down and pressed his lips to her hair. The smile she gave him melted his unbeating heart.

"Cor, Slayer, I love you so much. "

The smile became hesitant, and he sighed. "Rest now. Just call me if you need anything."

He started walking away, but she caught his hand.

"Spike... "

"Yes luv? "

"Stay. "

Without another word, he climbed in the bed next to her, and wrapped an arm around her. His other hand covered hers, resting on their daughter's back.

"Isn't she the most beautiful baby ever, pet? "

"Yes, our Lisa is. "

A large grin lightened his face as he watched the two women who now held his heart sleep. Unconsciously, he started to purr.

Buffy awoke a few hours later, as Lisa was mewling against her chest. Instinctively, she unlaced the front of the gown and gave the baby the food she was asking for. It seemed so weird to her that she knew what to do. She remembered something Spike had said the previous day, about women doing that kind of things for thousands of years, and could not repress a smile.

She could hear Spike outside the room, talking to someone she thought, then walking around. After a few minutes, he came in the room and froze as he took in the scene in front of him.

"Jealous much?" she said, teasingly.

His eyes grew wide and he shook himself off. "Who, me? Jealous of what? 'Got all a vampire can desire. Even more. "

He smiled at Buffy, a huge smile, completely innocent, that looked nothing like the old Spike she had fought for years. Not for the first time, she wondered whether he had truly changed or if this was just a side of him she hadn't had the opportunity to see before.

She noticed the store bags he was carrying.

"Did you go shopping while I was sleeping?" she asked, worry plain on her face.

"In broad daylight? And leaving you two alone here? "

He actually sounded hurt by the thought.

"My lawyer's wife. 'Paid her to go shopping for you and the lil' bit."

Spike has a lawyer. Wow. Spike has money. A lot of money, by the look of these bags. Double wow.

"Bloody woman called three times to know what she had to buy. What color, what size, what style. Wanted to talk to you. Like I was really going to wake you for that."

He was grumbling by now, as he pulled the clothes out of the bags and placed them on the bed. Absently stroking her daughter's cheek, Buffy appraised the lot with a critical eye. A few pairs of underwear, a couple of nighties, five shirts, as many pants, a few pairs of socks, and a pair of boots. Surprisingly, all of it, as much as she could tell by simply looking at it, looked to be her size. Unsurprisingly, most of it was black and the same kind of clothing Spike usually wore, leather or silk. She was about to give him a piece of her mind when he started to pull out baby clothes. Tiny, colorful, adorable baby clothes. Her throat tightened and she could do nothing but smile.

A sudden pain in her breast made her cry out loud. She looked down at Lisa, and a moan escaped her lips.

"Oh my God..."

The baby was still suckling on her breast. But the beautiful angel face had changed into a lumpy, vampiric mask. A trickle of blood was staining the corner of her lips. Stunned, she let her daughter feed off her for a moment, until the game face disappeared and the infant fell asleep. Lisa then started purring.

She realized that Spike was kneeling on the floor by her side, an unreadable look on his face. Neither of them spoke.

The first thing she noticed when she got out of the bedroom was that all the dust was gone. Then she realized that clothes were not the only things Spike had had someone buy for them.

An assortment of baby items was spread around the rooms, from a tiny hairbrush in the bathroom to a beautiful white wooden cradle in the guestroom. Food filled the fridge, and Spike was actually cooking something for her. And, everywhere, roses. Dozens of blood red roses.

Spike was watching her with an eye as he cooked, noticing how she would breathe the scent of the roses when walking near them. How she smiled every time her eyes fell on something for the baby. How gorgeous she looked dressed in leather and silk.

She joined him in the kitchen corner, and sat at the table. He could tell something was bothering her by the way she was nibbling the inside of her cheek.

"What's wrong, luv? "

Her eyes avoided his as he put a plate of food in front of her. Pasta and chicken. He hadn't cooked in a long while, he was hoping it was edible.

"Did she scare you?" he asked gently. "When she bit you? "

Her head shook instantly. She was pushing the food around her plate with her fork.

"No, she didn't scare me. Surprised me rather. "

She took a bit of food, and Spike was somehow relieved when she didn't complain about the taste.

"I didn't expect the vampire thing", she continued.

"Me neither" he lied.

He had hoped, very much, that Lisa would be completely human. But he had not believed it. The Watchers' Council wouldn't have gone through all this to get a human child.

"Do you think she has more vampire traits?" she asked between two bites.

She actually seemed to enjoy the food he had prepared. He hid a smile.

"You're thinking about the sun? "

"Among other things, yes. "

Puzzled, he wondered what Buffy meant. Holy water... not that dangerous because not that common. Crosses... oh well, not really threatening, just annoying. Stake... a stake would hurt her beating heart just as well as any human's.

Then it struck him.

"You wonder whether she has a soul. "

He could tell by the way she refused to look at him that he had guessed right. And for some strange reason, it hurt him.

"If you ask me, souls are so overrated" he said in his best cocky voice.

She didn't answer. His voice hardened when he asked : "Do you need your daughter to have a soul to love her? Or is she just like m? A soulless thing ? "

At last, she looked at him. And slapped him.

"How dare you call her..."

"I did not. I asked whether that's what you think. "

She opened her mouth, but for a few instants no sound came out. Then finally : "She is not a thing. She is my daughter and I love her. Soul or no soul. "

"Good to hear" he growled.

Leaving Buffy at the table, he rushed upstairs to the bedroom. His vampire ears had heard faint noises. Lisa was waking up. He picked her up and held her to his chest, listening to her little heart, rubbing her back gently. His anger melted like snow in the sun. He sat on the bed, cradling the baby in his arms, the blue of his eyes locked to the blue of hers. As she had done earlier, she purred ; and this time he purred with her.

Vampire but Slayer
Slayer but Vampire
One body
One soul
One life
Stronger than all

Buffy forced herself to finish her lunch, then washed the dishes. She was replaying their discussion in their mind. He could read her so well, and yet he was a mystery to her. Sometimes, rarely, he showed his feelings on his face and she could read them. But most of the time, she couldn't see his anger or hurt until it was too late.

Unsure whether to apologize - after all, she hadn't said anything about his lack of soul, had she? - , she avoided going to the bedroom. Instead, she emptied a few bags he had left untouched on the couch. One of them contained diapers. A lot of diapers. She moved them to the guest bedroom, which he seemed to have dubbed as a nursery. Back to the couch, she found in a large bag a luxurious white bathrobe, embroidered on the breast with a red rose, and a matching dark blue one, with a white W instead of the flower. She frowned briefly at that, before turning her thoughts to the last package. A breast pump. A few hours ago, she wouldn't have even thought about using it. But since then, she'd been bitten. By her own vampiric daughter. For a while, she thought about Spike's weakness when he had been denied blood. And wondered whether Lisa would suffer if she didn't get any. She had seemed to like the milk. Would it be enough? She doubted Spike would agree with her on that point, but it was her decision to make.

Someone knocked on the door, and, without thinking about the risks, Buffy opened. A middle-aged woman gave her a big smile.

"Oh, you must be the new mother! Congratulations! "

She entered the house, and deposited a half dozen shopping bags on the couch before seating on it with an exaggerated sigh.

"I can't remember the last time I had such a shopping spree! This is so tiring but so much fun! "

She pointed at the bags and continued chatting, oblivious to the fact that Buffy was staring at her in silence.

"I found a few more outfits for the baby. They are just adorable! Oh, may I see her? I'm just dying to see her! I keep trying to picture her in the baby clothes I buy! May I please ? "

"Uh, I think... maybe another time, she is sleeping now. "

Another exaggerated sigh.

"Oh, that is really a pity. At least you are up now! I see the clothes I got for you are fitting nicely. I was so surprised that your husband knew what size you wear. Men usually have no clue about this kind of things! "

She laughed richly, and Buffy forced herself to laugh a little too.

Husband?

"Is there anything else you needed? William told me to just spend until the money he gave me ran out, but as much as I hate to admit it, I don't know what else to buy! "

Again, she laughed.

William?

Buffy tried to shake herself and think fast. "Yes, I think I would need a few things. Let's see..."

After the exuberant woman left, Buffy realized a few things. She hadn't told her what her name was, and hadn't asked about Buffy's. She hadn't asked either why she was doing shopping for the 'couple'. And she had called Spike 'William'.

"Did the bloody woman go away yet? "

Spike was entering the living room, Lisa cradled in his arms.

"Yes she is gone for now, my dear husband. "

His face remained neuter.

"I didn't tell her we were married, Slayer. "

"As you say, 'William'. "

A brief flash of surprise showed on his face, and a small smirk made his lips twitch.

He sat next to her on the couch, and she noticed he had clothed the baby with one of the outfits she had seen before. It was light blue, covered with embroidered flowers. So very unlike Spike.

They were both looking at Lisa in silence. After a while, Buffy said softly : "I am sorry. "

"About what, luv? "

He sounded genuinely surprised at her apology.

"About the soul thing. "

She felt his body tense next to her, and she wondered if she had hurt him again. And how. And why she cared so much about not hurting him.

"Spike... I realized something. You have no soul..."

"Only notice that now? " he said in mock surprise.

"Let me finish please. "

He nodded.

"You have no soul but for some time you have been acting differently. I don't know when it started but I can see it plainly now with the way you act with Lisa. And with me. And what I realized is that you're just acting like a father. Like a human. Better than many humans, even. So the soul thing is really not important. "

There. She had said it. She expected sarcasm for a reply. She got a muffled 'thank you, Buffy'.

Later that day, the shopping lady returned, and this time Spike had to endure her chatter while Buffy was in another room with their daughter. He eventually managed to get rid of the annoying woman, and, curious, went through the new packages.

More clothes for Buffy, jeans and t-shirts. Damn, she had looked so good in the ones he had asked for her.

A camera and a few rolls of film. He cursed himself for not having thought of that.

The last couple of bags made him roll his eyes.

"Slayer!" he shouted.

She came in the room, looking annoyed. "Try yelling even louder, who cares if your daughter is asleep. "

He winced and again cursed himself mentally. Then he remembered why he had shouted.

"What are these... things?" he growled, pointing at the two bags he had been examining.

She actually clapped her hands and smiled brightly.

"Oh, the Santa Claus woman came back! Cool! "

She grabbed one of the offending bags and took out a light blue cotton shirt. She held it up in front of Spike.

"Yes, you will look so nice with that. "

He growled, and she laughed.

"Hey, I did wear the things you asked her to get for me. So you'll have to indulge me and wear some color. Some color other than red or black, I mean. "

Again, she smiled, and the growl died in his throat. He thought that if at that moment she had asked him to wear pink slippers and a tutu, he might have. He would have agreed to anything at all she asked. Anything just as long as she kept smiling.

She seemed to notice a change in him, and asked, almost worried : "Is something wrong, Spike?"

He shook his head. She knew already what he felt for her. He had told her several times. But never had she replied in a satisfactory manner. He didn't want to ruin things now. It wasn't a good time to get sentimental and poofy.

"Nothing wrong, luv. "

He let himself fall into an armchair and tried to focus. They had important things to talk about.

"I think we should stay hidden here for some time. The bloody Watchers probably expect us to run back to Sunnyhell, and they're bound to be waiting for us. "

She sat down too, her eyes very serious, the smile forgotten.

"We can live here without going out at all. We can have everything we need delivered. The house is safe, they can't use magic to locate us or harm us. "

He could see that she was thinking about his words.

"How long?" she asked finally.

"I don't know" he said truthfully.

She didn't like it, didn't like the idea at all, he could tell that much.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Slayer? "

"I'm thinking we are still in a cage" she said very low. "But I also think that's the best place we can be right now. "

Stronger than all
The new life is
But protection will be needed
And given

* * * * *

 

Chapter 3: Hidden

* * * * *

Stronger than all
The new life is
But protection will be needed
And given

They argued about it for two months, but in the end, Spike won. They needed to know, to be one hundred percent certain, that Giles wasn't still working with the Watcher's Council. Buffy was sure, but Spike refused to let her call him or her mother until they had proof. Their safety depended on it, and, more importantly for both, Lisa's safety too.

They agreed to have Buffy call Willow; the witch would have to get the proof for them.

Buffy had to call 3 times their old dorm room before she found her friend there.

"Buffy?! Oh my God is that really you? "

"Yes Will, it's me. Listen, I don't have much time, and I have a huge favor to ask you. "

Willow listened, stunned, as Buffy explained to her what she needed.

After Buffy hung up, Willow realized she hadn't even asked her where she was. Her short story had been so... weird. But then, weird was the norm for Sunnydale's inhabitants.

She was staring at the phone, still trying to accept that it had indeed been Buffy she was talking to. She had been gone for so long that they had all started to believe that she had found her death at the hands, or fangs, of one of the creatures she was supposed to slay. Either that or she had fled town, and Willow had never thought one second that it had been the case. Not again.

She jumped as Tara's hand pressed her shoulder. She had moved in with Willow several months after Buffy's disappearance.

"Everything OK, sweetie ? "

"Yes, yes, Ok. I mean, really OK. Buffy is alive."

An uncertain smile graced the witch's lips. "Why do you look so sad then ? "

"She asked me... to do something. She needs my help. Our help. "

Later in the afternoon, both witches, Xander and Anya were entering the mansion where Angel had taken residence again. He was surprised at their arrival, as they rarely came there, even more rarely before sunset. A quick look at their faces and he was sure something was different. Only one thing came to his mind. One name.

"Buffy? "

They were all standing by the fireplace, Willow doing the talking.

"Yes Angel, it's Buffy. "

His body hardened, waiting for the verbal blow he had been fearing since moving back to Sunnydale. The announce of her death.

"She called me today. She's OK. "

The burden of a year of fear was suddenly lifted from his shoulders.

"Is she back? Where...? "

"She can't come back yet. She needs our help first. "

He listened as the redhead quickly explained the little that Buffy had told her. The other Scoobies apparently had already heard it all. His anger grew flaring hot until he could barely repress his demon.

"If he knew, I will kill him! "

Surprisingly, no one protested.

Right after sundown, the Scoobies were invading Giles home. They had agreed that no harm was to be done to the ex-Watcher, as they were all certain that he couldn't have known what was going on. He had been too distressed after Buffy disappeared. Still, the Slayer had asked their help, and they felt they had to do as she asked them.

Without much trouble, Giles had been secured to a chair with a rope.

"Giles, we are really sorry to do this, but you'll understand later that it was necessary. "

A flash of fear passed through the Watcher's eyes, quickly suppressed.

"What is going on here? Willow? Xander? Anya? Tara? Angel? "

His eyes traveled from face to face as he called their names, finding nothing but determination, and some sort of reluctance.

The witches were soon one on his left, one on his right, their hands joined above his head. He recognized their incantation as they pronounced it together. A truth spell.

"What the hell are you doing? "

It was Angel who spoke first, his voice so cold Giles wondered if Angelus was back in that familiar body. He had come to trust the vampire again. It had taken a long time, but Angel had earned himself every bit of trust possible, fighting Buffy's fight with her ex-Watcher and friends. And now, this?

"We need the truth, Giles. Do you know what happened to Buffy? "

Surprise washed over him at the question, as the truth spell forced an answer from his mouth.

"No! Of course I don't! "

Xander asked the next question. "Did you know what the Watcher's council was planning? "

" The council?! I haven't heard from them since I told them Buffy disappeared!"

At that point, Giles was too shocked to pay attention to what was happening around him. He didn't notice the sighs of relief of Xander and Anya, didn't hear Willow's question. She repeated, and his eyes grew wide with anger.

"Did you help the Council in any way when or after they kidnapped Buffy? "

" No! For God's sake, no! Buffy is like my daughter, I would never do anything to harm her! "

As soon as he finished talking, the witches' hands separated, causing the spell to fade, and he was soon unbound from his chair. Again, his eyes went from face to face, until they stopped on Willow.

"We're sorry we had to put you through that, Giles, but Buffy said it was the only way to be sure. She told me to apologize to you for her. "

Giles stared at her for a second, his mouth moving soundlessly, tears coming to his eyes.

"Buffy? She's alive? Where... "

"She will call back tonight. Here. I just need to do a little trick on the phone in case the council is keeping an eye on your phone calls. "

The ex-Watcher just closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Soon, tears were seeping below his closed eyelids. For more than a year, Buffy had been gone. He had convinced himself that a demon had killed her, hoped that she had not been turned by a vampire. Spike's disappearance, at the same time, had worried him. Would they have killed each other? With the chip, it was unlikely. Gone away together? Even more unlikely. They hated each other.

The gang had talked about it, again and again, during long days and nights. But after a while, hope had disappeared. She wouldn't have stayed away so long. Not if she was allright. So she wasn't. It was that simple.

In silence, they waited. And when the phone rang, Giles was the quickest to reach it.

After Buffy had renewed her apologies and said her goodbyes, Giles went to the kitchen. He very badly needed a drink. Despite the quick and grim outline she had given him, he could not help feeling oddly comforted. His Slayer was back. Or almost.

His glass filled with scotch and ice, he returned to the armchair he had been tied to only a few moments before. The gang was waiting for him expectantly.

"So, G-man, what did she say? "

"We heard you saying you're going to London" Willow said quickly. "Is that where she is? I want to come with you."

"Me too" Angel added.

"Me three! "

Xander's exclamation was followed by a punch from Anya. Before the two of them could get into one of their arguments, which usually ended with some kind of sexual blackmail, Giles cleared his voice.

"Yes, she's in London. And yes, I think back up is a good idea. "

"Did she tell you what happened? "

"She told me some of it. She seemed reluctant to talk about it on the phone. "

He peered into his glass, surprised to find only ice cubes in it.

"The Watchers' Council kidnapped her. But I think you already know that. "

They all nodded, waiting impatiently for the rest.

"She wasn't kidnapped alone. Spike was too. Which explains why he disappeared at the same time she did. "

He paused, noticing the surprise and confusion on the faces around him. Only Angel's was strangely inexpressive.

"They were jailed for almost a year. Caged, she said. They managed to escape together recently. They're hiding. They think the Council is looking for them still."

For a few seconds, everybody was quiet. Then they all started talking at the same time.

"Why would..? "

"Spike? "

"When do we..? "

"Spike?! "

He got to his feet, remembering what he had promised Buffy.

"I need to go. I have to tell Joyce. "

The Watcher had grown closer to Joyce during the last year. Not intimately so, but they had become friends. They had supported each other in the loss of the young woman who was, for both, a daughter. And now she was coming back in their lives.

Happy, Buffy put the phone down on the receiver. She joined Spike on the couch, where he was feeding Lisa a bottle of milk.

"The Watcher is clear" he said with a smile, only half asking.

She punched him lightly.

"I told you he had nothing to do with it. "

He shook his head, never taking his eyes of Lisa.

"You know we had to be sure. "

"Yeah, I know. "

Unconsciously, she leaned her cheek against his shoulder, watching the baby suckle.

"She's so beautiful" she whispered.

"Just like her mom. "

She didn't know what to reply, so she just kept quiet. Spike kept saying Lisa looked like her, but every time Buffy looked at her daughter's eyes, she marveled at the blue that she found there. A clear, limpid blue, like a sky in the summer after a storm. She had seen that kind of blue only once before, when Spike had made love to her.

"So, what's the plan?" Spike asked, breaking the silence.

"Giles is coming here by the first plane. We plan. Then we attack. "

"Attack. That's a word I like. "

The vampire was grinning, and Buffy wasn't sure if it was caused by her words or by their daughter. She observed him as he cajoled the baby into sleep, singing a lullaby ever so softly. Since the birth, he surprised her at least a dozen times a day.

Spike, William the Bloody, killer of two Slayers, actually knew quite a few lullabies. He knew the correct way to hold a baby. He could stop Lisa's tears faster than Buffy could say blood-sucking fiend. He was... incredible. And not just with the baby. He had been pampering Buffy, cooking for her delicious meals, preparing bubble baths for her to enjoy, ordering fresh flowers for her every few days.

Oh, they still argued. Verbal fights, about little nothings most of the time, which were battle of wits. But when before one of them would have walked away in anger, they now ended laughing together. It scared Buffy a little, that she was now so close to him. That she was even fond of him. Or was it more than fondness? She didn't know, and she didn't really want to think about it. She knew he loved her. The last time he had voiced it had been after Lisa's birth, but he had so many other ways to say it. She also knew he loved their daughter. No, not loved, he worshipped her. She suspected he was reporting on the baby a part of the love he was feeling for her mom.

Who said you need a soul to love?

But protection will be needed
And given
The watch must be done
Old enemies, old allies, old blood
Against new enemies
Become new allies
For the new blood

Peeking into the night through the curtains, Buffy was waiting for Giles. She was impatient to see him, having a hundred questions about the Council that she thought he could answer. He was the key to striking back and making sure their lives were not endangered any more.

A short instant ago, Lisa had been crying, and Spike had left Buffy in the living room to go check on her. Now all was silent.

Finally, she saw a taxi stop by on the other side of the street. Giles got out, but he wasn't alone. Buffy rushed to the door and opened it before they reached it. Her mom ran to her and hugged her. Tears were flowing from her eyes, and Buffy felt her own eyes water.

"Mom, I missed you so much" she whispered.

Breaking the embrace, she pulled Joyce inside. Giles followed, and it was his turn to hug her. Then Xander and Willow gave her a group hug, laughing at the pleasure of seeing her. Their last companion was waiting just past the threshold.

"Invite me in please? "

She stepped away from Giles, and smiled hesitantly at Angel.

"It's not my house. Wait a second. "

She knew Spike well enough by now to know that inviting his Sire into his house without him agreeing first would only lead to trouble. She was going to call for him when he entered the living room. He greeted Joyce, taking her coat and luggage, motioned her to sit on the couch. He shared a brief handshake with Giles, nodded at Xander, smiled at Willow, all the while ostentatiously ignoring Angel standing just outside the door.

"Spike!" Buffy growled, annoyed at his game.

"Yes luv? "

His innocent act melted when he took a look at her angry face.

"Bloody hell, Slayer, you never said he was coming here" he said accusingly.

"I didn't know! Now invite him in or I will! "

Spike started walking away toward the kitchen, but he did pronounce an invitation, heavily loaded with colorful curses.

Angel stepped in and immediately hugged Buffy as all the others had done, but with more force and for a longer time. From the kitchen, Spike could see the whole scene. He had never thought Angel would be coming. Joyce, yes, he had imagined she would, as well as Red and even Xander. But not his big poof of a Sire. Groaning, he served himself a shot of Scotch. Half listening to Buffy's abridged story of their adventures, he prepared hot chocolates for the ladies, and double shots of Scotch for the Watcher and the whelp. They were going to need it. The poof could die of thirst for all he cared.

He brought the beverages to the living room on a tray, which earned him surprised glances from the gang. He sat in an armchair with his own drink, ignoring both Buffy's reproachful look and Angel menacing stare.

"Then we managed to escape two months ago and we've been hiding here" the Slayer was saying.

She had not said a word about the spell or Lisa, which left her story full of holes. The Watcher was quick to see that. Taking his glasses off, he started cleaning them with a handkerchief, while mumbling:

"This is truly unexpected from the Council. Both the kidnapping and the way they let you escape"

Spike arched an eyebrow. "They didn't exactly let us escape, Watcher. Took them ten months to make a mistake, after all. "

Giles nodded absently, lost in his thoughts. Willow broke the silence, asking : "But why did they kidnap the Slayer and a Vampire? Do you know what they wanted from you? "

Joyce was sitting next to Buffy, holding her hand his both of hers. For some reason, she was eyeing Spike; so was Angel. Buffy stirred a little, hesitant.

"Time to tell the last lil' bit, Slayer" Spike told her gently, playing with words.

Leaving her with her mom, her Watcher / pseudo father, her ex-lover and her best friends, he went to get Lisa. He had heard the small noises that usually meant she was waking up. He didn't really want to hear how Buffy was going to explain the rest of the story. She would probably insist on the spell thing. He liked to forget about that part, and pretend she had made love to him of her own will.

After a while, he came back to the living room with the baby. By the look of shock on all their faces, he could tell they knew. He carefully deposited his mewling bundle into Joyce's arms.

"Joyce, please meet your granddaughter Lisa. "

He watched happily as a delighted smile wiped away her surprise.

"Oh my goodness" she whispered. "She is gorgeous. "

He noted that both the Watcher and the whelp had emptied their glasses, and that the poof looked like he could use one right now. Or a dozen. Chuckling, he went to fetch the bottle of Scotch. Angel caught on him in the kitchen, game face on.

"How did you dare touch her?" he growled, looming over his Childe.

"Didn't she tell you about the spell?" Spike said, trying to sound bored.

Angel's fist crashed into his jaw, and Spike caught himself to the table.

"Angel! Stop! "

Buffy grabbed the older Vampire's arm before he could strike again. Spike straightened himself, ready for an exchange of words or punches, but Buffy's eyes were pleading for him not to. So he just grabbed the bottle he had came for and returned to the living room. His smile half returned when he saw Joyce and Willow cooing at his daughter, while the Watcher contemplated her with a bemused look. Xander looked ready to faint. He poured the golden liquid, and Giles gave him a grateful look.

"So Joyce, tell me, what was Buffy like when she was a baby ? "

As soon as Spike had left them, Angel had turned toward Buffy, his face morphing back to human.

"You and Spike... "

He actually sounded hurt. Buffy felt anger and resentment seizing her.

"Which part of 'we were under a spell' didn't you understand? It happened once. And that was enough to create the most beautiful baby on this earth. "

He looked as if she had slapped him.

"And are you still under a spell? Living with him here for two months when you could have gone home? Do you have any idea what he is capable of? "

He was holding her shoulders in a painful grip, and she freed herself, moving away from him.

"Staying hidden was the best solution. And yes I know what he is capable of. He can take care of her. He can take care of me. That's what he's been doing for two months. He was even doing it before we escaped. He was there when I needed him, Angel. He stayed... "

She stopped herself before saying that Angel himself had left her when she needed his presence. But he heard the unsaid words.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Me too. I know why you left. I've gotten over it. But you can't fall back into the boyfriend role like that. You refused that part, Angel. Deal with it as I did. "

They all agreed that it was time to call it a night, the Scoobies being exhausted both by their travel and the excess of emotions. Spike played the perfect host, showing his guests to their rooms. Buffy would share the master bedroom and its extra large bed with her mom and Willow, Giles and Xander were taking the second guestroom. He had planned to sleep in the nursery as usual, but that was leaving Angel to sleep on the sofa. Buffy did not say a word, but he saw the light in her eyes, that light that meant she would give him a hard time about it. Cursing, he just grabbed a pillow and a blanket before going down to the living room. Reduced to sleeping on his own couch while the poof had a bed to himself! He was back to the nursery within a minute, still cursing, this time gently lifting the sleeping baby from her crib. He scowled at Angel, who watched him intently.

"You think I would hurt her? "

"She's mine! You have proved before that you enjoy taking what is mine. So she'll bloody sleep with me until you're gone to whatever hell you came from!"

He stalked out of the room, only to bump into Buffy.

"Where are you going with her?" she asked with a frown.

"Away from Peaches, that's where. Where are you going? "

"I was going to check on her actually. "

"Check on her or on him, Slayer? "

"What do you mean? "

"You bloody well know what I mean! "

"No, I bloody don't! "

They realized that their discussion was being observed by Angel, Joyce and Giles, all three standing by the doors of their rooms. At the same instant they turned away from each other, Buffy going back to her room, Spike getting downstairs to his sofa.

Holding Lisa usually had a soothing effect on him, but that night he only found sleep as the sun was rising over London.

The next day, Spike was still grumpy as the Scoobies plus Angel elaborated their plan. It was in fact rather simple : an eye for an eye...

Through his old connections, Giles managed to obtain Quentin's address. Several nights in a row, Angel went out to observe their prey. Xander was doing the day shift. Willow and Giles were researching some spells that they would use during their attack. Buffy, Joyce and Lisa were spending some quality time together, which left Spike alone and bored. He finally joined the Watcher and the Witch in their book fun, looking up nasty spells he might want to try on Angel.

After five days, they were ready. Quentin was pretty much untouchable during the day, protected in the Watchers HQ. He was home every evening by 7pm, all lights out by 9.30. He seemed to be living alone, except for an old maid who left the house at precisely 9pm every night.

"Either we get him just before he enters his house or I'm out of the game" Angel pointed out.

"Same thing here" Spike added gloomily.

Buffy looked thoughtfully at Angel, then at Spike. They were all sitting around the kitchen table, except for Joyce who was giving a bottle of milk to her granddaughter in the living room.

"Spike, I'd like you to stay here with Lisa and mom. "

His face closed instantly.

"No way, Slayer. I'm coming. I want... "

"You want to what?" she interrupted, anger threatening to take over. "You can call them monsters for the way they treated us, but you still won't be able to touch them. What will you do, growl at them?"

He realized he was on the point of growling at her, and stopped himself.

She observed him, glad the gang was not stepping in. Anything they said would only make matters worse. She almost regretted her words, having not wished to sound so harsh, to hurt him or make him feel useless. Yet she thought that was just what she had done. She reached across the table and took his hand, trying to speak more calmly.

"If things turn bad... we cannot let them have both of us. We can't leave Lisa alone. "

"If things turn bad, I can watch your back," he said quietly. "I did it before. "

A silent exchange passed between them. She felt his hand tightening around her fingers almost painfully, then he let it go.

He looked at the faces around the table, one after the other, gauging them. The whelp, the witch, the Watcher. His eyes finally stopped on Angel. Hate passed between the two vampires, but also understanding.

"If anything happens to her... "

He was talking mostly to Angel, but they all nodded, and the Watcher cleared his voice : "Now that this matter is settled... when? "

"Tonight" Buffy said flatly. "There's no point waiting any longer. You have all you need, Willow? "

"Yes, yes, I have everything. "

"Let's get some rest then, the night will be long. "

She left the table after giving a small smile to Spike. The humans followed her.

Angel remained, watching Spike, divided between curiosity and lingering anger. His Childe was staring at the sketches on the table, rough maps of the streets around Quentin's house and the Watchers HQ.

"You love her" the older vampire said finally.

It was not a question ; he had known Spike for too long not to notice.

"None of your damn business" Spike snapped.

Undisturbed, Angel continued probing.

"Does she know? "

Spike only grunted, and Angel replied to his own question.

"She knows. But she doesn't love you back. "

This time, there was some hesitation in his voice.

"What are your intentions, Spike? "

The Childe stood, intent on leaving, but he answered his Sire.

"I'll do what you didn't. I'm going to stick around. Fight along her, with her. Get all I can, even if it's nothing more than a few smiles and a lot of arguing. I'll take care of her and Lisa. They're mine, Angel. Both of them. Don't forget that. Ever. "

* * * * *

Chapter 4: Free

Gathered in the living room, the Scoobies were telling the tale of how they had outsmarted the Watchers Council. Their audience was only composed of Joyce and Spike, and the latter looked ultimately bored. But they were telling the story mostly for themselves anyway, comparing their views, sharing details, one of them interrupting when another had forgotten something. Only Angel was keeping quiet.

"It was so cool the way Willow froze him" Xander said. "The look of terror on his face, that was just... cool, no other word for it. "

"I must admit that seeing Quentin scared was quite satisfying," Giles muttered with a small smile.

"Oh, that was nothing," Buffy interjected. "When he saw me, he looked ready to faint dead!"

They took turn narrating how they had been to the Watchers HQ, very easily or so it sounded. Then they had forced Quentin Travis to summon the Council.

"I loved the way Buffy talked to these guys, all threatening and angry and scary!"

The witch was actually wide eyed when saying this, as if seeing the scene again.

"Well, having you all behind me helped a lot," the Slayer replied. "A witch, two armed men and a vampire. I think a couple of them bloody soiled themselves! "

She doesn't even notice, Spike thought. She talks like me and doesn't even notice it.

He glanced at Angel, and hid a smile. Angel had noticed.

Spike was holding Lisa, as he usually did whenever she was awake. Her warm fingers were wrapped around his cold one. His mind came back to the story.

"And then they all signed the pact. Of course they weren't happy about it, with the 'touch us and you all die' clause. But they did sign it!"

"And with the binding spell," Willow contributed brightly, "they will have to respect the terms of the pact, whether they want to or not. Can't break it! "

Giles added, while cleaning his glasses absently : "Even when they are replaced, the binding will still hold. They signed not in their own names but as Council Members in exercise. So Buffy and her family will be safe indefinitely."

"Family?" Spike asked, an eyebrow arched.

Buffy blushed slightly, and Spike wondered whether it was at the thought that they were a family.

"Yes," the Watcher replied, unaware of Buffy's reaction. "We tried to be as including as possible in the wording. If Buffy has other children, they will be covered, as well as Lisa's own family when she founds one, and all of her descendants. You are covered too."

He added the last part as an afterthought, but Spike didn't pay attention. His dead heart had just lightened at the thought that Lisa would grow up, find a mate, have children. He silently swore to the unsuspecting baby that he would be there to watch over them.

One by one, the members of the gang excused themselves to their respective beds, until Buffy remained alone with Spike. Lisa had fallen asleep again, her heart a music to Spike's ears. Her sleeping patterns were really odd ; not that the vampire minded.

"They will go back to good old Sunnyhell the day after tomorrow," Buffy announced in a quiet voice.

He nodded, hesitating to ask about her plans. They had never talked about what they would do when finally free of their movements.

"If you don't mind," she said after a short silence, "Lisa and I will stay here a while longer. She's too young to travel by plane yet."

She had added the last bit too quickly, Spike thought.

"I don't mind, Slayer, you know that. You might as well know that I'll be going with you when you return home. "

"To be with Lisa. "

"Of course pet. For Lisa. "

He was lying, by omission at the very least, and she knew it, but she pretended to believe him.

Again, the silence. To him, it was only broken by his daughter's heartbeat and Buffy's. Buffy's sounded faster than usual. He watched her carefully, trying to read through her body language what was upsetting her, failing.

"Tell me what's wrong luv? "

She bit her bottom lip absentmindedly.

"I don't know. You're different, Spike. That's what they were all telling me tonight, how different you seem. "

"You admitted yourself that I've changed a while ago, Buffy. Does it make it more true that they see it too? "

She shivered when she heard him say her name. It was so rare that he called her Buffy. And when he did, his voice was always so soft, as if he was putting all his love in a simple word.

"I don't know," she said at last. "That they see it just confirms what I thought."

"And what is it you thought?" he pressed on.

She eluded the question.

"Why did you change? "

"You know why. But if you want to hear it again, fine. I love you. And I love the lil' bit. If acting nice allows me to be with you both, then I'll play the game. Hell, I'll even turn into a bloody nancy boy if that's what you want me to be. "

He sounded bitter. She frowned and shook her head.

"I don't want..."

"What do you want then?" he cut her.

She took a deep breath.

"I want to take this slow. We both changed. I don't know how much I have, how much what I feel has changed. Just give me time. "

"Time for what, Slayer? "

A thin thread of hope was shining in his voice. She stood, and, coming to him, gave him a chaste kiss, just lips pressing together, before kissing her sleeping daughter's forehead.

"Time to see if it is love that I feel for you. "

She left the room and he stayed there, smiling stupidly at the baby in his arm. For the first time, his Slayer was giving him the hope he had all but given up on. He would wait. He had all the time in the world in front of him. Yet he silently implored her not to take too long.

Three times under the spell
Enemies join
Allies they become

The next day, Giles took advantage of an unusually nice weather to take the Americans for a guided tour of London. The weather also meant that Spike was stuck home. With Angel. They reacted to the situation like the grown men they were - by avoiding each other.

Confined to the nursery / guestroom, Angel was trying to find reasons not to kill Spike, which was rather difficult. Whatever the humans said, he believed with all his cursed soul that Spike had not changed one bit, and that it was all an act. He knew intimately how well Spike could act. Yet, why?

The day before, the peroxided vampire had claimed he would stay with Buffy and the child, as if it would be enough for him. Angel could not believe it would ever be enough. It hadn't been enough for him. Of course, by then, there was no baby, not even the possibility for one. He had accepted long ago that he would never father a child like a human could, that the closest he would get to one was a Childe. But now, the mere existence of Lisa reopened a wound he had thought long healed.

That Spike, of all vampires, was the father, only added insult to injury.

In the kitchen, Spike was cooking what he hoped would be a great dinner. It was either occupying his mind and hands with that or turning into a brooding poof. There was already one too many of these in the house as far as he was concerned. He hoped that cooking a nice meal for his human guests would favorably impress them. Buffy had said the night before that they had commented on his change, and he sure as hell intended to give them more to comment about. His mind fluttered a moment on what else she had said. A silly grin was back on his face, quickly wiped out when his nose caught the burnt smell.

"Bloody hell ! "

In front of him, the bechamel sauce he had stopped beating had boiled over and was burning on the stove. Cursing himself for his lack of attention, he quickly cleaned the mess and started melting butter again.

Walking through the crowded London streets, the Scoobies, plus Joyce - who  absolutely refused to let go off Lisa - were following Giles. The Watcher had stopped a while ago his historic commentaries about the city. No one had asked him to continue. Americans...

To Buffy's embarrassment, Spike had given her a fat strap of bills when they had left the house, insisting that it was the first time in a year she could actually go out and buy something for herself. Buffy had shared the money with her friends and Giles, after arguing with them that they had come all this way for her and deserved a treat. To her surprise and delight, they had decided on the spot to give her the baby shower the Watchers Council had never thought about throwing for her.

The day had been long, with a lot of walking, a lot of shopping, and a lot of laughs. As they were slowly returning to Spike's house, all carrying too many packages, Giles took Buffy apart from the others. The matter was delicate and needed to be addressed. However, how to attack the question was a tricky problem.

"Buffy, we need to talk about the prophecy. "

"Sure Giles. What about it? "

"Well, as you know, I had a look at it yesterday... "

A look that lasted about half an hour. And you took notes. I bet you memorized it too.

"Does it say anything more about Lisa? More than the soul and super strength thing?"

She hated to admit she had been relieved when Giles had told her about that part of the prophecy. She had loved her daughter before she knew whether she had a soul or not, but knowing that she did was somehow comforting. Which did not really simplify the 'Spike' problem.

Something that Giles had said brought her back to him.

"Come again ? "

"I said, the prophecy tells about three children. "

"Three? "

"Three. Have you... with Spike... again..? "

"No! We don't... Haven't..."

Her cheeks were burning. She felt slightly better when she saw that Giles was just as embarrassed as she was.

"Well, I thought you ought to know. In case, hmm,... The wording is somewhat cryptic, like in any good prophecy. The council interpreted that he needs to drink from you so that you can conceive. My own interpretation would be that you both need to drink the other's blood while you, hmm, ..."

"Ok, got it," she interrupted him quickly. "But you know it's not going to happen again anyway. "

He looked at her sideways but did not reply. After all this time, she should know better about Prophecies and their way to be fulfilled whether you liked them or not.

They walked in silence for a little while, but she could tell he had more to say.

"Go ahead, Giles. What else are you choking on? "

He was surprised that she had noticed his discomfort. The Buffy he remembered would have been oblivious. He looked at her thoughtfully, hesitating to probe more. He wasn't sure he had a right to uncover any more of her sentimental life.

"Buffy, you don't have to answer if you don't feel like it, but... I'm wondering... what is there exactly between you and Spike? I don't know if you're aware of it, but you two are acting like a couple. It's startling."

She mouthed the word silently. Couple.

"I don't know if we're a couple, Giles, We've just been forced to coexist for a year. It's been hard at times. But I guess we both got used to it. Got used to each other. I would never have thought I'd say that some day, but I trust him."

Giles nodded but did not comment. They had been through an extremely stressing situation together, it was normal that some kind of bond had been created.

"I asked because there's a last thing I think you should know. The prophecy doesn't call for Spike to be the one. From what I understand, the Council hesitated between Spike and Angel. They settled on Spike because of the chip, and also because of the happiness loophole in Angel's soul."

Buffy shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess having him kill me the morning after would have been kind of hard on the pregnancy part. "

More quietly, she added : "Don't tell them about that. Ever. I don't know how either of them would react, and I don't think I want to know."

The evening was... surprising. Spike, the evil soulless vampire, had cooked a five courses meal, concluded by a pie and some French champagne. Even more surprisingly, he had been utterly civil with Angel, though his Sire had not returned the courtesy. Apart from the older vampire, the guests had enjoyed the evening. Xander had even complimented Spike, and had almost choked to death when realizing what he had just done. Willow didn't seem to share his scruples, and neither did Joyce, as they profusely praised his cooking. Giles was for the most part silent, studying the vampire, trying to decide if Buffy's trust was well placed.

It was the last evening of her friends and mom in England, and Buffy was thankful to Spike for making it special. At the end of the dinner, she made eye contact with him and raised her champagne glass. He returned the salute with an almost imperceptible smile.

Later in the evening, as Angel had retreated to his bedroom and Giles had gone out to meet with some old friends, Joyce joined Spike in the kitchen. He was finishing to wash the dishes, alone, having insisted for Buffy and the others to just spend some time together.

"Hey grandma," the vampire said with a smirk.

She returned the smile, still amazed by the fact that she now had a granddaughter. Whose father happened to be a vampire. She sat at the table, observing him quietly.

"Care for an extra slice of pie? "

He didn't listen to her feeble refusal and served her, as well as himself, some pie and champagne, before sitting across her. They munched on the dessert, making small talk about London, the dinner, Lisa. Buffy.

"She seems happy," Joyce commented.

Spike did not reply ; it wasn't a question.

"You take good care of her. "

"I try. "

"Thank you. "

The clinked their glasses, silently toasting to Buffy.

Willow's frightened shout rose from the living room, and Spike's instinct took over. Faster than any human, he rushed out of the kitchen, game face slipping on thoughtlessly. His eyes searched for the cause of the outcry, but he found no intruder. No threat to Lisa or her mother. Instead, he saw the shocked look on Xander's face, the apology in Willow's eyes, the faint annoyance in Buffy's pinched lips.

"No reason to get all grrrr, Spike. Lisa just startled us. "

He took a longer look at his daughter, noticing she wore the telltale mask, just like him. Ignoring Buffy's words, he did not push the vampire appearance away when he gently but firmly took the child from her mother. She let him have her, and he returned to the kitchen, almost bumping into Joyce. She took a step back, clearly afraid, and he suppressed a growl. Stepping around her, he opened the fridge and retrieved a bag of blood. He poured half of it in a baby bottle and the rest in a mug, then warmed both in the microwave. He was aware of Joyce still behind him, could almost feel her eyes on his back. He turned toward her, wanting her to see him feeding the blood to Lisa. He was surprised to find the fear gone from her eyes, then astonished when she took both the baby and the bottle from him and sat down to do her grandmother duty. Only then did he shift back to his human face. He sipped his share of the blood absentmindedly, grateful for Joyce's lack of revulsion. Before half the bottle had been drained, Lisa shifted too.

"You can stop now," he said quietly. "She doesn't need much."

She put the bottle away, still cradling the baby.

"Will she always need it? "

Spike took another sip, considering her question.

"'Don't know," he said finally. "She's been drinking less and less of it since she was born. Buffy didn't want to let her drink any at all at first. But when she changes, giving her blood is the only way to have her change back. "

He winced at the memory of how they had found out. For a little more than five long hours, Lisa had been in game face, wailing now and then like a lost kitten. Spike had finally fed her his own blood, since Buffy refused to let him anywhere near the fridge. They hadn't talked for two days after that. Yet Buffy had given up on her no blood policy. He thought she had realized that refusing the baby what she craved was tantamount to torture.

"Spike... I think you'll make a great dad for my granddaughter. "

He felt oddly proud at Joyce's compliment and hid a smile in his cup. That's when he noticed that Buffy was standing by the kitchen's door, a strange look in her eyes.

Locking the door behind her, Buffy shed Spike's wet duster. She had had to plead for him to let her borrow the thing. At time she could swear he loved the thing more than he did her or Lisa. She was glad she had insisted though, because the dark clouds that had been menacing all morning had finally broken into a real flooding just as she left the airport.

Her friends and mom were gone, and there she remained with her child and the child's father. Her family? That's what she intended to find out. She missed the others already, but she needed time alone with him, to see the kind of man he could be for her. And what she could be for him.

She entered the living room and let herself fall in an armchair. Spike was lying on the sofa, Lisa cradled against his chest, both apparently asleep. Both purring.

She felt a tingle of jealousy. Lisa rarely ever purred for her. And Spike had not since the night they had conceived the baby. She realized with a bit of a shock that she wished he would purr for her just as much as she wanted her daughter to. She wished he would hold her as tenderly as he held the baby. She wished he would let her sleep against his chest. She wished...

She shook her head, trying to stop that train of thought. She had to think clearly if she was to figure out what it was she felt for the vampire. Then it struck her. She might already have her answer.

Silently, she took her boots off and tiptoed closer to the sofa. Carefully, she climbed over Spike and laid her body against his, her head resting just next to Lisa's on his unstirring chest. His purring stopped for a second, then started again, as his arm found its way around her waist.

Still half asleep, Spike wondered whether this was a dream or if the Slayer was really in his arms. Of her own free will. Smiling at the thought, he left himself drift back into sleep.

"So luv, what did your mom say on the phone? "

Buffy's arm looped in his right arm, Lisa sitting on the left, strolling in his native London on a beautiful evening, the vampire could hardly have been happier. Well, he knew a couple of ways Buffy could have made his happiness complete. Admitting she loved him was one. Sharing his bed was another. But he had said he would wait as much time as she needed. In the meantime, he was enjoying greatly the simple pleasures they had been sharing for the last three months. Their daily evening walk, weather permitting, was one of them.

"She just wanted to know how we all are, whether I've staked you yet or not. "

He laughed briefly. She seemed to threaten to stake him about once a day, but he had often pointed out that she did not even have a stake in the house.

"Anything else, pet? You stayed on the phone quite a while. "

"She just wanted to know if we're coming home soon. "

He fought the urge to say that they were home ; he knew she missed her friends, as well as Joyce.

"We can go back, Slayer. If you want to. "

She kept silent a little while, and he tried very hard not to turn his face to hers, afraid of what he might see there.

"Soon," she said at last.

"Beginning to like London? "

"Actually, yes. Quite a change from Sunnyhell. The demons are more civilized!"

Again, he laughed, and this time she laughed with him.

"Spike? "

"Yes luv? "

She bit her bottom lip nervously.

"Will you always be like this? "

"Like what, luv? "

"You know..."

He stopped walking and looked at her intently.

"No pet, I don't know. Tell me what I'm like. "

"Patient. Understanding. Loving. "

His expression fluttered between surprise and cockiness, before settling on his usual smirk. "I've been called many things in my unlife, Slayer, but these, I think it's a first! Not sure if I should feel touched or insulted! "

She punched him lightly, and he faked a groan of pain.

"Hey, no beating of the vampire while he's holding a baby. "

"Does that mean I can beat you up later? "

"Hmm, I like the sound of that! "

She tried to kick him this time, but he avoided her booted foot easily. Shifting Lisa to hold her more securely, he ran a little ahead of the Slayer, eliciting laughter from his daughter. Holding her above his head, he spinned quickly, just to hear her laugh again. Buffy came near, smiling as brightly as he was at the baby's reaction. They walked back home in silence.

Later that night, he realized he hadn't answered her question. He quietly went to her room. The door was open, as it always was. She said she wanted to be able to hear if Lisa cried, even though Spike slept next to her.

He stood by the door for a little while, listening to her breathing, thinking she was asleep.

"Spike? "

Her voice stopped her as he was returning to his room.

"Yes luv. "

"Is Lisa ok? "

"Yes, lil' bit is fine. Sleeping. "

She kept quiet, and he took that as a cue to tell her why he was there.

"Just wanted to answer your question, Slayer. I can promise I'll always be loving. ...Cause I love you, and when I love it's forever. I'll probably be understanding too. It took me long enough to realize what it was that I felt for you, so I can understand you needing time. But I can't promise I'll always be patient, luv. I'll try to be as long as I can. But you need to know..."

He paused, and she urged him on.

"Know what, Spike? "

"Living with you is a dream, Buffy. I'm happier than I ever remember being. But at the same time, it's torture. Every day. Being so close to you, and not daring to touch you. Or to take you in my arms. Because I don't know if you're going to let me or push me away. Because I don't want to scare you, and sometimes I think it would scare you if you knew how much I love you. How much I want you. "

He snapped his mouth shut ; to his own ears, his voice sounded desperate. He hoped she did not think that too.

He heard her, more than he saw, getting out of bed and coming to him. She stood very close to him, and he felt the urge to retreat before he lost control of himself. Yet, he remained still. He almost jumped when her hands slipped under his housecoat and made contact with the bare skin of his chest. The loosely tied belt came undone, and she stepped closer to his nude body, pressing herself against him.

"I want you too," she whispered.

That was the encouragement he had been waiting for. His arms closed around her, his hands rubbing her back through the silk of her nightgown. His mouth found her face, leaving a burning trail of kisses on her forehead, her nose, her cheek, before connecting with her lips. His tongue asked, and was granted entrance. Gently at first, then with more force, he probed her mouth, her tongue dueling with his. Meanwhile, his hands came up to her shoulders, and pulled the thin straps that held her gown off. The clothing slid down her body, pooling at her feet. She broke the kiss, taking a step back, and he growled in frustration. Her hands pushed the open housecoat off his shoulders, trailing for a second against his chest. She found his hand, and led him to the bed.

Lying on his side next to her, Spike let his hand fly over her body, barely touching her. Quickly, she moaned and arched her back, trying to increase the touch. He obliged her, his mouth descending on one breast while his hand closed on the other. His tongue was torturing her, flicking the nipple teasingly. She locked her hands in his hair and pulled him closer, asking for more. His teeth gently tugged on the hard nipple, sending a bolt of light straight to her core. Tentatively, his mouth closed around the breast and he sucked on, getting his reward.

"You bad vampire," she groaned, "stealing milk from a baby's mouth."

His face came up to hers, and though she couldn't see, she was ready to bet he was grinning at her.

"What can I say, luv. I'm evil after all. "

She moaned as his fingers pinched simultaneously both her nipples. His mouth licked a path to her neck, and he nibbled with blunt teeth, fighting back the demon who wanted to taste her again.

"Spike..."

He heard more in her voice than his name. He heard her desire, her need.

He gasped as her small hand gently grasped his erection and rubbed it against her wet entrance. She led him, and he slid in easily, sparks flying in front of his eyes. She was as hot as he was cold.

"Burning as hell," he growled.

He started rocking, ever so slowly, but her legs locked behind him and forced him to increase his pace. His mouth returned to her breast, licking, biting, teasing without mercy.

She cried wordlessly as she felt herself getting close. His mouth left her skin as his hand sneaked to her clit.

"Buffy, love... Come for me..."

His voice pushed her over the edge, her body shaking with the release. As her inner walls tightened around him, he felt himself lose control over the demon. He shifted to game face as he came, his fangs sinking at the junction of her neck and shoulder. She held his head against her neck as he drank deeply, moaning from pleasure more than from pain. Her body remembered the first time they had made love, the power she had felt when tasting his blood. Her teeth sank into his shoulder, drawing a trickle of blood onto her tongue. He growled against her neck.

He forced himself to shift back before drawing too much, licking slowly at the twin wounds he had inflicted, then rolled both of them so that they were on their side, facing each other, though it was too dark for either to see anything.

His fingers caressed her face, pushing the hair away, brushing against closed eyelids, finding her lips.  Discovering a smile.

He pulled her closer, and his arm sneaked around her waist, tracing random patterns on her back.

"I love you Slayer. "

She did not say a word.

For the longest time, he remained awake, staring at the dark, wondering whether she had consciously not replied in kind, or whether she had already been asleep.

Waiting for his ladies to finally come downstairs, Spike pulled on his tie.

"Slayer, the taxi will be here in a minute, get your cute arse down here!"

No reply came. Not that he expected one.

Pacing around the living room, he started thinking about how they had arrived there. It had started with trying to kill each other. The Dance, he called it. Then they made very unlikely allies. Later, they made a baby. Then lived together. Then started shagging again. And now they were dating.

Not really the order things were supposed to go through in a normal relationship. But after all, neither of them was normal, and the fact that they were together was a complete aberration in itself.

He turned around just in time to see her walking down the last steps. She grinned at the look on his face.

"Close your mouth, Spike, before you swallow a fly. "

Buffy was wearing an ankle-length black dress that was molding her petite frame perfectly. Her shoulders were bare, but the front of the dress came up to her neck, encircling it, very conveniently hiding bite marks. Her hair was pined up, with a few free strands framing her face. She handed him Lisa, all dressed up in a cute blue outfit that mirrored her eyes. Her hands now free, Buffy wrapped a length of red silk on her shoulders. His gaze had not left her since she had entered the room.

"Will you say something?" she asked, getting uncomfortably self aware.

He blinked a couple of times, and gave her a mischievous smile.

"How 'bout we skip dinner and we shag now? "

She faked a pout.

"After taking all this time to get ready you just want to stay here? "

"Not really. But I wish I could keep the sight of you all for myself. "

His free arm pulled her tight and he kissed her, a deep, tender kiss. When he let go of her lips, her heart was beating considerably faster.

Trying to regain her composure, she fussed with his tie, tightening it.

God, he's so bleeding gorgeous when he dresses up. 'Wonder if I can get him to wear that kind of stuff more often... Of course, he's just as gorgeous all the time... Even wearing nothing at all...

"Hey, careful Slayer, you're going to choke me. "

"You can't choke, already dead, remember? "

His fingers grazed against her cheek.

"Actually," he said very quietly, "you kind of make me forget about the dead part."

A car honking prevented Buffy from answering. Which was good, because she had no idea what to answer to that.

"Taxi's here. Let's go. "

Spike grabbed the baby's bag and swung it other his shoulder. He opened the door for her, being the perfect gentleman. When she passed in front of him however, he squeezed her butt and she glared at him before stepping into the waiting Rolls Royce.

"I can't believe you rented the whole restaurant!"

Back to their home, several hours later, Buffy was still under the charm.

Spike just shrugged, continuing to rub her bare toes. He was sitting on the floor, in front of her, absorbed in the feel of her skin.

"'T was the only way to have Lisa with us. "

His hands moved on her ankles, sliding the dress up a little.

"If we were back in Sunnyhell," Buffy said hesitantly, "we could have left her with my mom."

The dress was sliding higher under his gentle tug. He coaxed her to raise her hips from the couch until the fabric was gathered around her waist.

"No good restaurants in Sunnyhell," he replied absently.

His mouth brushed against her bare knee, and she shivered.

"Not true. There are some good... restaurants in... in Sunny... ooohhh..."

His lips went from caressing the inside of her thighs to pressing against her black lace panties. She groaned when his head pulled away from between her legs to look at her face.

"If you want to go back, luv, you just need to say so. "

She tried to focus on his words, which was hard with his hands playing on her legs.

"Go back. Yes. I think I want to. "

"Give me a couple of weeks to take care of some business and then we will leave. OK?"

She only nodded, biting her lips. He had sneaked his fingers under the panties, his thumb giving some deserved attention to her pulsating clit while his index and middle fingers were slowly sliding in and out of her moist opening. She whimpered as he rubbed a particularly sensitive spot, and he smiled, accentuating the pressure. A few seconds later, she was throwing her head back and crying his name.

After a couple more teasing strokes, he withdrew his fingers from her and licked her juices off, his eyes twinkling as he caught her gaze. Without a word, he pulled her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. The night was still young.

Spooned against Buffy's back, his arms wrapped possessively around her, Spike purred. She sighed heavily at the sound.

"Wish I could do that too. "

His lips pressed against her silk hair.

He had decided to tell her that night, but now he hesitated, not wanting to break a perfect moment of peace. She finally pushed him by asking : "A penny for your thoughts? "

He took a deep unneeded breath and gently turned her so that she was facing him. He could barely see the outline of her face, and would have given a lot to be able to see her eyes. They told him so much about her thoughts, they usually helped him to find the good words or avoid treacherous paths.

"Buffy... Do you trust me? "

He heard the smile in her voice more than he saw it.

"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be here. "

He kissed her lips lightly.

"Would you still trust me if the chip was gone ? "

He felt her tense. Not a good sign.

"Why do you ask? "

She hadn't answered. Even worst sign.

"I've been thinking a lot. If were ever attacked again by the Council, I would be totally useless. Unable to protect you and the nibblet. "

She held him tight, not liking where this conversation was headed.

"They can't hurt us any more. "

"What if it's someone else," he insisted. "What if a thief breaks in and I can't do nothing because he's human? "

"Spike, what is this all about? "

He heard in her voice that she was afraid. He hated himself for that, but still told her.

"I found someone to remove the chip. A doctor, specializes in demons and such. Took an appointment to have it done. In a week. "

In a flash, she was out of his embrace and out of the bed. She turned on the light, and, naked, started pacing furiously. He watched her in silence, waiting for the explosion. It came fast.

"You're not doing that! You don't need to! If anyone tries to hurt us I can take them! "

He shook his head.

"What if you're not there? I need to be able to protect her. And you. And myself."

He saw tears begin to slide down her cheeks, and it made him angry. Both at himself and at her.

"Bloody hell, Slayer, I will be the same, with or without the damn chip! "

"What if you're not?" she yelled back. "What if you start killing again, Big Bad and all? How would I explain to Lisa I had to stake her father because it's my duty to kill nasty vampires?"

As if saying her name had been a summon, Lisa started wailing, and Buffy went to her room. Spike jumped out of the bed and got dressed. Passing in front of the nursery, he watched for a second a crying Buffy feeding a bottle of milk to the baby. Cursing, he stalked out of the house, hoping the cool air of the night would calm him. He had expected Buffy to be reticent, but not like that. And what angered - and hurt - him the most was that she hadn't even considered the possibility that he could be chip-less without returning to his killing habits. Didn't she know, by now? Didn't she understand yet that he had wasn't the same vampire who first came to Sunnyhell years back? For her he wouldn't feed off humans again. Well, apart from her of course. There was no doubt in his mind. He couldn't stand the idea of disappointing her, and returning to his old feeding ways would do just that. But he needed to know he could protect his ladies if he had to.

For hours, he walked about the sleeping London. As morning approached, rain started falling. When he arrived home he was drenched, having forgotten his duster as he left the house precipitately.

He went to the bedroom, ready to apologize and explain to her better, make her understand she would still be able to trust him after.

She wasn't there.

He checked on Lisa.

Gone too.

Frantic, he searched each room, before finally coming back to the bedroom. He noticed what he hadn't seen the first time. The drawers where she kept her clothes were open, and empty.

Realization sank in, and he just let himself glide to the floor.

* * * * *

Chapter 5: New Life

Night was growing old on Sunnydale when the vampire knocked at the Summers' door. Joyce opened, holding Lisa in her arms, and Spike's face just split in a huge grin when he saw his daughter.

Hell, she's grown so much! And her hair is all curly now!

"'Evening, Joyce. "

"Spike... What a surprise. "

Captivated as he was by the sight of Lisa, he still noticed that Joyce took a step back when she first saw him. He raised his arm tentatively, and his hand was stopped by the invisible barrier.

"I see I'm not quite welcome here, am I?" he said with a smirk.

Her face flushed a little.

"Buffy made me promise not to invite you in. She said you could be dangerous."

"Yeah, I guess she would think that. "

The smile dropped from his face. He had not expected to be received with open arms, but it still hurt.

"Is she in? "

"No, she's out patrolling. "

He shook his head. "Couldn't they find someone else to do that? She's a mom now. Patrols are too dangerous! "

"That's what we've all been telling her! Especially now! But you know how stubborn she can be! "

"Yeah, I know. "

They shared a knowing smile. His eyes were drawn back to the baby, who was now looking at him, her arms stretched toward him.

"She's even more beautiful than I remembered... "

Joyce was observing him, trying to see this dangerous thing her daughter said he was now. She could only see a man, a father aching to hold his daughter after long months of separation. Hoping she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life, she walked past the threshold, and handed Lisa to him. His face went from surprise to gratitude.

"Thank you," he murmured.

They sat together on the front steps, and she watched him, watching his daughter.

"Shouldn't she be in bed by now?" he worried.

"She should be if she wasn't a night owl. It takes forever to make her fall asleep at night. And if we let her, she sleeps all day long."

Spike's chuckle startled Joyce.

"Just like her father," he said simply.

Holding Lisa against his chest, he closed his eyes and sang for her under his non-existent breath. After a couple of minutes, she was purring, asleep.

"I've never heard her doing that," Joyce said, mesmerized by the way the child seemed to have recognized the vampire.

"At least I know someone missed me," he said a bit bitterly.

Joyce shook her head. Buffy had asked her many times not to try and find out what had happened. She just did not want to talk about it. But she knew her daughter, Buffy was hurting. Too often, she heard her cry herself to sleep at night.

"Do you love her? "

Immediately, he understood she wasn't talking about the infant. He briefly hesitated, wondering what exactly the woman knew. He opted for honest truth. Joyce had always been kind to him. Except the time she had hit him with an axe, but then she had cause.

"I could say I love her more than my life," he said softly, "but it wouldn't mean much coming from a vampire, would it?"

"You need to tell her. "

He cocked his head. "'Don't know. She ran away from me. "

He looked in the woman's eyes, and whatever he saw in them decided him to tell more.

"She lived with me, laughed with me, slept with me, but she never said she loved me. And then she left. She took my daughter and she left! "

He realized that anger was piercing in his voice, and he saw he was frightening her. He gently put his hand on her arm.

"Joyce, you have to know I would never harm her or anyone she cares about."

She looked at him gravely, and said: "I know. I'm sure you wouldn't."

It was her turn to wonder how much she should tell him.

"If you don't plan to tell her... Why did you come back?" she asked carefully.

"I just needed to see her. See them. Fill the void in the middle of my chest."

God, I have to do something. They are both hurting for nothing! Stubborn, both of them. But if I tell him she was waiting for him he won't trust me. He has to see it by himself. And she has to see how much he cares. These children are going to kill me.

Not once did she realize that the peroxided child in front of her could have been her great great great grand father.

"Would you like something to drink?" she said suddenly. "We have blood in the fridge, I can warm some for you."

Bait.

"No thanks. I guess I just should be going now."

He gave her the sleeping child after brushing his lips on her forehead, and started walking away. He stopped suddenly and turned back to her, a deep frown on his face.

Caught.

"Does Lisa drink blood again, Joyce? She had stopped before... Buffy left."

"No, it's not for her. We've had a guest in the house for a couple of weeks. "

Let him do the math. He's clever, it won't take long.

She read on his face the exact second when he understood who was the guest she was talking about.

"Bloody hell, I'm going to dust him!"

Before she could say a word, he was gone.

Don't kill him, she thought, he's not worth the trouble she would give you for it. But hopefully you will hurt him enough to show her how much you care, and he will hurt you enough to let her see how much she cares, if she doesn't know it yet.

Cursing Sunnyhell and its seemingly hundreds of cemeteries, Spike approached its fifth one. Immediately, he saw familiar forms, their backs to him. A tall, broad shouldered man, and a petite, seemingly so fragile woman. They were walking in silence, only a few inches from each other. Listening only to his rage, he rushed toward them.

Angel's acute hearing made him turn first, but he already knew who was running to them. He could feel his Childe. What he didn't expect was the hatred in his eyes, and the punch to his stomach.

"They are mine!" Spike shouted.

They had fought before, and always Angel had dominated. But something was different, and Angel began thinking he might not survive that fight. For a few minutes, they exchanged blows, feinted, counter-attacked.

Neither of them was hearing Buffy, who was pleading for them to stop. However, when she stepped between them, a stake in each hand, they both froze.

"It ends now or I swear I will dust both of you!" she yelled.

Turning to Spike, she winced at the bloody mess that was his face. And could not find a word to say.

He watched her intently, noticing all at once that she had cut her hair, finally gained some weight, wore his duster, still smelled of vanilla.

"Hello, luv. I see you're well. And back to the big poof. Didn't take long."

Shock and incomprehension mixed on her face.

"Spike? what in hell are you talking about?"

Angel was right beside her now, and he too seemed puzzled.

"He lives with you, doesn't he? Are you already teaching the nibblet to call him dad?"

Anger filled him, and when he looked at Angel his fists closed in painful knots.

"I told you they were mine. You can't have them. Neither of them! I let you take Dru but I won't make the same mistake twice. I will kill you or die trying!"

Buffy had found her voice back. This was ridiculous. She often dreamed Spike would come back. Sometimes, the dreams turned to nightmares. But this was plain ridiculous.

"He's living in the basement because the mansion was destroyed two weeks ago, you bloody idiot!"

"Sure, but why didn't he go back to LA? Why did he stay here? To steal you from me that's why!"

"And why weren't you here, if I'm yours?"

They were both shouting, oblivious to Angel who was trying to calm them down.

"You ARE mine. And you are the one who bloody left, if I may remind you!"

"You didn't come after me!"

"Was I supposed to? How the hell was I supposed to know what you wanted?"

"Didn't you know I loved you, damn you?"

"How would I have known you never said it!"

"I was ready to, and then you said you were having the chip taken out!"

"It is out now, and I'm still me, and if you loved me before you should still love me now. 'Cause I sure still bloody love you!"

She stared at him, and he wondered whether she had been silenced by the revelation that he was chip-free or that he still loved her.

"There is no way I'm letting you and lil' bit with Peaches. So stake me now, Slayer, or..."

"Spike, close your fucking mouth and LISTEN!"

Flinching by pure reflex, Spike did as he was told. This was a voice he had learned to recognize a long time ago, a voice Angelus used when he was really pissed off, ready to kill someone on the spot. A voice a Childe, even the favorite Childe, knew better than to challenge.

So Spike listened, but Angel did not talk. Neither did Buffy. All he could hear was two heartbeats and the wind blowing in the trees.

Two heartbeats?

His eyes widened as he looked at Buffy carefully. She was holding the duster closed around her, but now he could see, or rather guess, what was hiding under the leather. He pivoted toward Angel, and shot his fist through his Sire's face. Caught by surprise, the older Vampire fell to the ground.

"That's for letting her patrol!" Spike growled.

A bit stunned, Angel only nodded, as if accepting the reproach. Spike turned back to Buffy.

"How could you?" he asked, his voice not as hard as he wished it to be. "How could you leave me? How could you keep patrolling?"

He saw she was biting her lips, saw the tears forming in her eyes. Cursing himself, he stepped closer and held her tight, repressing a sigh of relief when she hugged him back. For a few minutes, they clung to each other in silence.

"You scared me," she whispered finally. "You said you wanted the chip out, and all I could think was I would have to kill you. I would have to kill the man I loved. Again. And I knew this time I couldn't do it, not if my own life depended on it. Not if the world depended on it."

"Oh Buffy, I am not him. I don't have a soul to lose."

He heard Angel moving, heard his steps going away.

"The chip was not a soul," he continued. "It just stopped me from hurting people. And I can do that by myself if I want."

She pulled away from him very slightly, enough to be able to see his face.

"Do you want to?"

He gave her his best smirk. "I've been chip free for 3 months, luv. 'Haven't killed a human yet. Don't plan to. Don't want to."

She buried her face against his chest, breathing his scent, happy that he was there and still the same man she had fallen in love with.

"I didn't know when I left that I was pregnant."

Her whisper released a knot in his neck he hadn't been aware of. He let go his embrace and pulled her to a bench nearby.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you. Seeing you with the poof just made me crazy."

In his mind, he thanked Joyce, realizing she had pushed him very cleverly.

"And I'm sorry I left like I did. My only excuse is that you really, really scared me. I wasn't thinking straight."

He laughed lightly. "Yeah, not thinking straight, but you still took my duster. Can I have it back now?"

She hugged the leather to herself.

"On my dead body."

He bit his bottom lip at that, not wanting to remind her he had gotten the thing off a dead Slayer. She had not liked that story much when he had told her.

His arm was wrapped against her shoulder, and her cheek was resting on his. They kept quiet for a few moments, savoring each other's presence.

"Oh by the way, luv, did you, hmm, find anything? In the pocket of the duster?"

She turned her face to his, her traits clear under the light of the almost full moon. She looked hesitant. She pulled a chain from under her clothing, and removed it from her neck. She pressed in his hand the ring that had been dangling on the chain.

She had first found it at the airport, on her way to the flight that would take her back to the US. She had been emptying her pockets to go through the metal detector, and had found a small velvet-covered jewelry box. She hadn't been able to open it until she arrived in Sunnydale. When seeing the elegant ring, with both their names engraved on the inside, she had cried even harder. She hadn't worn it, not knowing if he still wanted her to have it. But she had been carrying the thing around her neck, a constant reminder that he had loved her that much. Maybe, still did, if she hadn't broken his heart by running away, and if the removal of the chip had not returned him to his Big Bad self.

"You know," he said very low, playing with the ring, "I am still a vampire. Not killing humans doesn't change who I am."

"I know. But it's what you are, not who you are."

He seemed to consider her words for an instant.

"Do you think you could spend your life with a vampire ?"

"Yes. If this vampire was you."

Another silence.

"I'm not asking you to marry me now. I'm not quite ready for that yet..."

"Good, I'm not either. "

Long pause.

"Are you mine? "

"We are yours. All three of us. "

He moved off the bench and put one knee to the ground, watching the beaming smile on her face. Taking her left hand, he slid the ring on her delicate finger, the diamond catching a ray of moonlight.

Epilogue - To see the Sun

A smile dancing on her lips, Lisa was looking through a box of old pictures. Her mother hated these pictures, and everyone knew it. That's why they were hidden in a box and not proudly displayed in albums. They covered about 30 years, and showed all too well an ever aging Buffy, and an ever young-looking Spike. It had always been a reminder that there was no 'growing old together' for them. But being together had been enough.

The pictures Lisa cherished most were the ones of their wedding. She remembered bits and pieces of it. She had been 9 when they finally tied the knot. William was 8, and Joyce Anne 3. It had taken place in a beautiful summer evening, under an almost full moon that was giving a fairy-tale light to everything on that hill above Sunnyhell. Surrounded by their friends and children, Buffy and Spike had exchanged simple vows. Lisa remembered her father's words above anything else. He had promised to love his wife until the day of his death. Not hers, his. Then they had all picnicked under the stars. The pictures showed a glowing Buffy in an elegant red evening gown, smiling to her brand new husband. Between them, Lisa and Joyce Anne looked like princesses in adorable matching white lace gowns, and William was gorgeous in a tuxedo identical to their father's. Other shots pictured Xander, Anya and their son, Willow, the maid of honor, and Tara, Giles, who had played the roles of father of the bride and best man of the groom. The only absent was Joyce, who had died four years before. Even Peaches had been there, though he couldn't be said to be smiling much.

Lisa chuckled lightly. So many times, her mother had rolled her eyes at her for calling Angel by one of Spike's nicknames. She couldn't help it, she just enjoyed too much the grins of pure delight Spike gave her for the exact same reason.

She remembered when he had finally asked Buffy to marry him. He had been moody for weeks, talking to himself constantly. Then, he had stopped arguing with himself, and started arguing with Buffy. Lisa didn't understand much at the time, she just could see that Daddy wanted something really bad and Mom didn't agree. And then, one morning, they just stopped arguing, and told their older children that they were going to get married. Years later, she had asked them both what had finally changed Buffy's mind. Buffy had blushed, Spike had grinned, and Lisa had known better than to try and probe any further.

Other pictures showed Spike's domestic side. Cooking pancakes for breakfast, decorating a birthday cake, reading a fairy tale to sleepy children. Buffy sometimes joked she took these pictures because she couldn't believe the vampire was actually doing these things. Lisa could recall more than one time when Buffy had been the fourth listener, captivated by the way Spike conjured the characters to life just as much as the children were. It hadn't taken much to convince him to put his stories on paper for others to enjoy.

Another dozen of pictures showed Buffy in her preschool classroom. Taken so that Spike could see what her workplace was like. She had returned to college after William's birth, and obtained her degree in Education Science. Spike pushed her on that way, later saying that he knew she would be a great teacher.

A couple of stolen shots. Spike clad all in black, from his pant, to his tshirt, to a leather duster, a gift from his wife, almost identical to the one she had 'stolen' from him. Buffy in similar clothing. They only dressed so for patrols. Lisa remembered the night she had taken these pictures as they were leaving the house, trusting their children's lives to an aging Watcher. She had been 11 or 12, and the apocalypse was close, a usual occurrence on the Hellmouth. But that night, something had happened, and the Hellmouth had been closed forever. After that, their nightly patrols became weekly ones, and some time later completely stopped. The Hellmouth being closed, demons and vampires were not coming to Sunnyhell any more, and the ones who were already there knew better than to hurt humans and catch the attention of the Slayer and her vampire mate.

More pictures were showing the three children growing up. On none of them was there a hint at their demon linage. They had had a normal childhood. Or rather, as normal as a childhood could be when your Dad wouldn't get out of the house before night and your Mom threatened to stake him at least twice a week. Early on, all three children had learned to control their demon side and refuse the game mask. It had been made clear, both by Buffy and Spike, that drinking blood was not a part of their life. They had also learned to hide their abnormal force and to avoid hurting their friends when playing. At some point, Spike had started to teach them how to fight. She knew there had been arguments about that too between her parents. Buffy often watched them, training and playing at the same time in the basement converted into gym, but never said anything or participated. Lisa had overheard parts of an argument ; Spike was worried about the Council finding a way to break their word and come after their children. That's why he wanted them to be able to fight. Buffy had been fighting for the best part of her life, and did not want her children to follow her path. Spike won, not because he was right, but because the prophecy that had started it all left no choice to any of them.  They were Slayers. Not like Buffy was, but still Slayers.

Early training had come in handy years later, when Lisa and then William went to college in other states. Both had discovered that vampires and demons were not a Sunnydale exception, and both had decided on their own to fight the good fight. Joyce Anne had followed another path, learning magic by herself until Spike caught her, grounded her for a year, and asked Willow to mentor her.

Some day, Buffy had stopped allowing anyone to take a picture of her. She had been a bit more than 40 by then, and already Spike had started to look more like her son than her husband.

As Lisa was putting the pictures back in their box, Spike sat next to her on the couch.

"Hey luv."

"Hey dad. "

She observed him in silence. He looked so tired... She was surprised to see him pull a pack of cigarettes from his duster's pocket. More surprised even when she realized it was his duster, the one Buffy had never returned. She could smell her mother's scent on the thing.  She could also smell another scent, unusual on him... Alcohol. She thought his hand was shaking a bit when he lighted the smoke. He inhaled deeply, his eyes closing.

"I hadn't lit one since before you were born, pet. 'Knew that ?"

"No dad. I never suspected you smoked. "

Or drank.

A smile crept on his face.

"Your mother would stake me for it."

Abruptly, the smile was gone. He looked around, searching for something, anything, to extinguish the cigarette with. Eventually, he put it in an empty cup of tea that had been forgotten on the side table.

"Yeah, she would have staked me for this," he whispered, staring at nothing.

She took his hand and held it tight. He squeezed back.

"Did you choose a picture, luv ?"

"Yes. "

She showed him and he nodded, his eyes shining with unshed tears. On this candid shot of the wedding, Buffy was smiling brightly. It would be perfect for the service.

Lisa took hold of her courage. She had wanted to ask that question for years. It was now or never.

"Dad... why didn't you ever turn her? "

A hint of surprise flashed through his face, replaced by pain.

"I should have, shouldn't I? "

"No! No, Dad. I'm just wondering... "

She stopped, unable to finish. Unable to say that if she ever loved a man half as much as she knew Spike had loved her mother, she would do anything to keep him by her side. Anything at all. Maybe, she could admit it to herself, that was why she was so reluctant to let a man into her heart. She didn't know if she could turn humans, and she was afraid of ever wanting to find out.

"I asked her, once, to let me do it. 'Said no. And she was right."

His hand was still squeezing hers, as if that touch was the only thing holding him together.

"She was my sun," he said in a whisper. "For 30 bloody years she was the sun I will never see again. She brought the light back in my life. She was my life. "

His voice broke.

"Killing her would have been the same thing as killing myself. And now ..."

He threw his head back and moaned, tears streaming from his closed eyes.

Lisa stared in shock, seeing the man she had always thought unbreakable crumble in front of her. Before she could think of anything to do or say, her siblings were in the room, alerted by the noise. William stayed back, his infant son cradled in his arms. Joyce Anne rushed to their father, and hugged him tight. He was still painfully gripping Lisa's hand.

"Daddy, it will be ok," the youngest child said softly.

"No it won't!" the vampire cried. "She's gone. Gone!"

She shook him slightly to get his attention back.

"Look at me, dad. Look at Lisa. Look at William. What do you see?"

He did as she had said, his eyes taking in the sight of his children and grand-child.

Their children.

Their family.

"I see her," he said in a low voice after a moment, his tears drying on his cheeks. "I see the sun."

Here were the terms of the Challenge by Jinxanna on the Buffy / Spike Diaries site :

-Spike and Buffy are kidnapped
-taken to somewhere in in Europe or Asia
-They are used to make a half vampire (Buffy becomes pregnant)
-They are used because most humans can't carry a vampires child and Spike is not only from a famous line of vampires but is strong in his own right, not to mention he is chipped.They also seem to fit with the prophecy
-Before Buffy died and before she knew that Spike is in love with her
-Spike is in love with Buffy, Buffy does not share his feelings at first, things change. Not to quickly though, it has to take a while she starts out hating him after all
-Buffy despite herself wants the child as does Spike (duh!)
-The child is part of a prophecy (as are Buffy and Spike)
-The Watchers Council is connected to the kidnapping
-They want the child to be under their control, they also want Buffy and Spike in order to make more children
-They end up on the run
-The child is born and is a girl and has been born for a good part of the story
-When they make it home (however they do it) its been well over a year and a half
-The child has all the pros and none of the cons of both parents and their powers (though drinking blood makes her stronger and heal faster, and she is a night owl)
-Buffy becomes pregnant a second time, this time its all Spike and Buffys fault, no outside influence
-Lots of interaction with Scoobies and Angel characters
-Spike is a good father
-They defeat their enemies and get a happy ending
-Show a little of their future
-Your choice if you want to show what happened with the Scoobies while they where gone
-Your choice on how Buffy becomes pregnant the first time (examples, artificial insemination, a spell that forces them some how like making them really horny, or just being threatened, ect.)
-NC17 if you want

These authors spend lots of time to write these stories. If you took the time to read this PLEASE take the time to give them some feedback. Happy writers write more ;-)

Kallysten - kallysten_fr@yahoo.com