A Different World

AUTHOR: Jypzrose
EMAIL: jypzrose@aol.com
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Buffy/Spike
SPOILERS: Nothing specifically mentioned, but assume 4 years after Wrecked.
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING!  I am the epitome of Upper Class Poor White Trash.  Pity me.
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“I don’t see why you’re doing this.”  19 year old Dawn Summers said to her sister, meeting the older girls gaze in the mirror.

“Dawn, don’t start.”  Buffy replied, sliding one of her mother’s pearl earrings into her ear.

“You don’t love him.”  Dawn continued, stubbornly, crossing her arms over the bodice of her rose colored dress.

“Of course I do!  How can you say that?”  Buffy exclaimed, her eyes shooting angry sparks at Dawn.  The younger girl just rolled her eyes.

“I have eyes don’t I?  I can see.  You don’t look at him the way you looked at. . .”

“STOP!”  Buffy’s hold on her temper snapped.  Standing, Buffy clutched the puffed out skirt of her dress and moved to face her sister.  “That was over a long time ago.”  A smile suddenly split her features.  To Dawn it seemed a bit false.  “You’re my maid of honor.  You’re supposed to be keeping me from being nervous.  Not trying to piss me off.”

“I saw him last week.”  Dawn persisted.  Buffy ignored the way her heart sped up.  She brushed past Dawn, pretending she had never spoke, and walked over to the floor length mirror.

“How do I look?”  Buffy asked.  In spite of Dawn’s arguments, the girl couldn’t help but smile.  She felt her eyes mist up as she looked at her older sister.  The dress Buffy wore was a simple, sleeveless, white wedding gown with roses embroidered in white thread on the bodice.   Instead of a veil, Buffy had decided to have small white flowers woven into her blonde tresses.  Her something old was her mother’s pearl earrings.  Something new was the three stranded pearl choker her fiancé had given her.  Something borrowed was the handkerchief that Willow had loaned her just for this purpose.  Her blue was the garter she had on just above her knee.

“You look beautiful.”  Dawn sighed, swiping a tear away before it ruined her mascara. *Now, if only you were marrying the right man.*

Buffy’s smile was genuine this time as she looked at her sister.

“Thank you.”  Buffy turned back to the mirror and smoothed her hands over her skirt.  This was the day she swore would never come.  She had lived past her twenty fifth birthday.  She was officially retired as the Slayer when Faith was released from prison.  Although, she still staked vamps now and then.  And now it seemed that Buffy had a chance at the ‘normal’ life that seemed so elusive before.

Dawn cam up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.  Buffy covered the hand with her own.

“I wish mom was here.”

“Me too, Dawn.  Me too.”  Dawn squeezed her sister’s shoulder, then walked over to her purse.  She pulled out a gold box, wrapped with a black bow.  She turned it over in her hand, wondering if she should give it to Buffy.

“Dawn?” Buffy questioned, moving over to her.  “What’s that?”  Dawn sighed heavily, thinking that the two people she loved the most were the two most stubborn people in the world.

“I told you I saw him last week.”  She started.

“Please don’t start that again.”

“He asked me to give this to you.  It’s a wedding present.” Dawn persisted, holding the box out to her.  Buffy looked at the box like it would bite her.  Reluctantly, she took it, her mind conjuring up the image of the man it represented.  His beautiful face shimmered through her memory.  His sharp cheekbones, soft mouth, strong jaw, the scarred eyebrow.  His blue, blue eyes.  The shock of platinum hair that curled stubbornly.  Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of the last time she saw him.  The fight that had finally driven him away.

~ ~ ~

“I can’t do this anymore, Buffy.”  He sprawled across his bed, the candle light giving his naked body a warm glow.  Buffy was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling her shoes on.

“Do what?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“This.” he replied, waving his hand between the two of them.  She’d never seen him look so tired.  His eyes so defeated.

“I thought ‘this’ was what you wanted.”

“What I want,” he started, springing to his feet. “Is to quit acting like this means nothing.  You come to me, every night.  Whether I patrol with you or not.  And every night, I sit here like a soddin’ fool waitin’ for you.  Tellin’ myself it’s enough.”  He grabbed a bottle of bourbon off the table by the bed.  He took three long swallows before continuing.  “Well, I had an epiphany just now, watchin’ you get dressed to scamper off.  It’s NOT enough.  It’ll never be enough.” He averted his blue gaze from her, raising the bottle again.

“I can’t give you what you want, Spike.”  She said quietly.

“Can’t?  Or won’t?”

“Does it matter?  In the end, does it matter?  This shouldn’t be happening, much less anything more.  There’s too many complications.  The first being me, slayer.  You vampire.”

“Of course it matters, luv.  There’s complications in everything.  LIFE is a complication.  And if you’re not willing to look at this as more than a good shag after a hard night of slaying, then.  I’m done.”  Spike felt his undead heart ripping in two at the words.

“I understand.”  Buffy said.  And she really did.  It wasn’t fair what she was doing and she knew it.  By now, Buffy had realized a million times over that his feeling for her were real.  And every time she came to him, she was feeding him hope.  She just couldn’t seem to stop herself.  Nor would she let herself figure out why.

“No.  I don’t think you do understand.”  He said.  “I can’t be around you and not want to touch you.  I can’t hear your voice and not hang on every word.  I may be love’s bitch, but I’m not a glutton for punishment.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, ignoring the stab of fear in her chest.

“I can’t stay here.”  His eyes caught hers, bright with unshed tears.  Buffy’s eyes widened then narrowed into angry slits.

“So, you’re leaving?” she asked, venom dripping from her voice.  His scarred eyebrow arched at her tone.  So, this is how it’s going to be, he thought.

“Yeah.” he said in a tired voice.

“Well, fine.  Be like every other man in my life.  Walk out when things don’t go the way you want.”  Buffy spat, allowing the anger to consume her.

“Don’t lay that shit on me, Slayer.  I may be the one leavin’, but you’re the one that did the pushin’ away.  And unlike those other blokes, however, if you ever need any help with any hell bitch’s or the like.  I’ll be there.  But know this, I’m not leavin’ to be noble, like Peaches.  I’m not leavin’ because I can’t handle what you are.  I’m leavin’ to survive.  You’re killin’ me Slayer.  As sure as if you plunged that pointy little friend of yours into my heart.”  Spike said, pulling on his clothes with jerky movements.

“You know what?  I’m glad you’re leaving. Now I won’t have to listen to your idiotic little speeches.  And guess what?  I won’t EVER need you.  EVER!  So, good riddance.”  Buffy spat, turning on her heel and speeding out of the crypt.  Spike watched her as she left, finally letting the tears fall.

~ ~ ~

“Buffy?” Dawns voice interrupted Buffy’s thoughts. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

Buffy nodded her head silently, tugging the bow off the box.  She took a deep breath, then took the lid off, letting the breath out with a ‘whoosh’ at what was inside.  Sitting on top of a folded piece of paper was a pin in the shape of a heart.  It was no bigger than her thumbnail, and it had one blood red ruby in the center, surrounded by diamonds.  Buffy pulled it out, sliding her thumb across it.

“Wow,” Dawn breathed.  “That must of cost a fortune.”

Indeed, Buffy thought, fighting the urge to throw herself on the bed and cry.  She pulled out the note, and with shaky fingers unfolded it.


Buffy,

I really don’t know what to say.  Congratulations sounds so hollow, luv.  Especially when I don't really mean it.  But I do hope you are happy.  And that bloke had better treat you right, or he’ll receive a visit from the Big Bad.

I’m glad you’re getting what you want and what you deserve.  Because, you do deserve it, Pet.  The husband, the kids, and the bloody white picket fence.

Anyway, I hope you like the trinket.  I saw it and thought of you.  Maybe, every once in a while, you could take it out and think of old Spike.  But, remember the good, luv.  Not the bad.  And there was good, wasn’t there?

And remember, I love you, Buffy.

Forever,

Spike


“Buffy?”

Buffy jerked her head around, tear filled eyes resting on Willow.  She hadn’t even heard her come in.

“What’s wrong?”  Willow asked, her brow knitted with worry.   When Buffy handed her the letter, the witch skimmed it, her mouth set in a grim line.

Damn him.  Why now? She thought.  Willow cast an angry glance at Dawn, who was trying to get Buffy to sit down.

“What?” the girl asked defiantly.

“Why did you give this to her?” Willow snapped, furious.

“Because, I’m not like the rest of you.  I’m not willing to let her live in denial.”

“It’s been three years, Dawn.  When are you going to give up?”  Willow’s green eyes flashed black.  Dawn backed up a step, remembering the last time that happened, she wound up with a broken arm.

“Never.  I don’t understand how you all are willing to let her make a mistake like this.  I mean, none of you even like Kent.”  Dawn snapped, glancing at Buffy.  The ex-Slayer was sitting on her bed, looking down at the pin.  She seemed oblivious to the argument going on around her.

“It doesn’t matter if ‘we’ like him.  As long as Buffy’s happy.”  Willow shot back.

“Why couldn’t you feel that way three years ago?  Or do you mean as long as he’s not a vampire all you want is her happiness?”  Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the older woman.

“Dawn, you don’t know what she went through when he left.”  Willow began.

“Bull shit.  I was there.  Just cause I was sixteen didn’t mean anything.  I saw how badly ‘she’ hurt him.  Time and again.  Because she couldn’t handle how she felt.  And, yeah, after Spike left she shut down.  But she didn’t try to do anything about it either.”

“What should she have done?  Hm, oh wise one?  Chase after him?”  Willow practically shouted.

“Yeah.  If you want something bad enough, you fight for it.  Not let bloody stupid pride get in your way!”  Dawn shouted back, stepping into the witch’s face.

“ENOUGH!”  Buffy’s voice rose above the argument, as she stood glaring at the two women.  “Dawn is right.  I did let pride stand in my way.  But it doesn’t matter now.  I’m getting married today, and I don’t want anything to spoil it.”

“Of course not.  I’m sorry, Buffy.”  Willow said, offering a small smile.

“I’m sorry, too.”  Dawn backed down glaring one last time at Willow.

“Now.  Will you two help me fix my make up?  We don't have much time.”  Buffy took the pin and clasped it to the strap of her dress, ignoring Willow’s disapproving gaze.

Today was supposed to be her happy day.  And nothing was going to ruin it.

~ ~ ~

“I don’t see why you came if you’re not going to the wedding.”  Angel said, while Cordelia straightened his tie.

“In case you forgot, Peaches.  The invite said Angel and Cordelia Chase.  Not William the Bloody.”  Spike answered, smoking his cigarette.

“That doesn’t answer the question.”  Angel stated, trying not to yank the tie his wife had just tightened.  Cordelia shot him a glare as he fidgeted, feeling ridiculous in the suit she’d made him wear.  Spike chuckled at Angel’s discomfort, earning his own glare from the Prom Queen.

“I’m planning on seeing Nibblet tomorrow.”  Spike said.

“You could see her in L. A.”  Angel reminded him.  “She does go to school there.”  Spike just sneered at him.

The thing was, Spike had no idea why he had tagged along.  He knew Buffy wouldn’t appreciate him crashing the wedding, and the Scoobies would probably stake him on sight. *Bloody Hell, What am I doing?* Spike thought.  With a sigh, he crushed out his cigarette and got up.  Grabbing his duster, he slipped it on, mumbled “I’m goin’ out.” to them, and left the motel room.

“Why doesn’t he just go see her?”  Cordelia asked, looking at the door he blonde vampire just walked out of..  “That’s what he wants to do.”

“Pride, I guess.”  Angel replied, running a hand up her arm.  “Look at how long it took me to admit how I felt about you.”  Cordy rolled her eyes and lightly punched her  husbands’ arm.  Angel chuckled, pulling her into his embrace.

“Yeah, I know.  And it still only happened AFTER you realized your soul was anchored.”

“I guess we should get going.” Angel whispered against her hair, breathing in her scent.

“Yeah.  Let me call Fred and see how Conner is first.”  Angel smiled as she moved to the phone.

“That’s the third time since we got here.”  He reminded her.

“We’ve never left him for this long.  Sue me for being over protective.”

Angel watched her as she dialed, wondering how he had gotten so lucky.  He had loved Buffy, with all of his heart.  And he was sure he would never get over the heart break of leaving her.  Than, as the years had gone by, Angel had healed.  And Cordelia had started to push her way in, bit by bit.  When Buffy had died, he had hurt.  But it wasn’t the all consuming pain that he had been expecting.

And then, he had bee blessed with Conner.  He smiled as he thought of the energetic and curious dark haired four year old.  Conner was still part of some as yet fulfilled prophecy.  After all, a human baby borne to two vampires just doesn’t happen.  But, Conner was happy and healthy and loved.  What more could a father want?

Then, after he had almost lost Cordelia to her visions, he realized he was in love with her.  She had lost consciousness and lapsed into a coma.  Apparently, she’d had an “It’s a Wonderful Life” experience while she was out.  Cordy had found out what would have happened had she never seen Angel at that party.  But all the while she lived out her dream of being an actress, subconsciously she sought him out.  Realizing that her life was with Angel, visions and all, she made her guide turn her half demon, so the visions wouldn’t kill her.

A short time after that, Wesley found a way to anchor his soul.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

“Everything’s fine.”  Cordelia announced, smiling at Angel.

“Let’s go then.

~ ~ ~

When Spike left the motel, he’d had no particular destination in mind.  He’d just had to get away from the lovebird’s and their questions that he didn’t have answers to.

He had been walking for a while, his head down, hands shoved in his pocket.  Memories flying through his head.  He still loved Buffy, as much as ever.  But he’d meant what he had said in the letter.  She deserved the whole picket fence dream.  But hearing about her marriage had almost ripped him in two.  Angel had the bloke checked out, mainly because of what had happened with Riley.

He seemed a nice enough chap.  Kent Mathers, 27, pre-law.  Born in L.A., he’d moved to Sunnydale when he was 16.  His father had taken a teaching position at U.S.C.  Graduated on the honor roll and such, and was first in his class at college.  The picture Spike had seen reminded him of a Ken doll.  All blond hair and teeth.  Spike detested him on sight.  It was funny that the entire AI team felt the same.

Spike thought about the irony of his life.  He had left Sunnydale, making a bee line for his sire.  The only other person who could understand what he was going through.  When he had gotten there, Spike had almost met the sharp end of Cordelia’s stake.  Angel luckily stopped her in time, demanding to know why Spike was there.

After Spike had explained the whole sordid story, Angel gave Spike a job.  He had been confused, but apparently Angel had seen the change in his childe, and he wanted to help him.

So, Spike had gone from killing demons with the Slayer, to killing demons with his sire.  At least he got paid now, enough to keep him in blood, smokes, and beer.  And he got to live in the hotel, a step up from his crypt.  Plus he got to work with people who did more than barely tolerate his presence.

He had struck up a pretty decent friendship with Gunn, and Wesley was happy to have another Englishman around.  Even if he was a hundred years older than himself.  Fred had transferred her crush on Angel to him once it became clear that Cordelia held the older vampire’s heart.  Of course, that only lasted until Gunn had finally made his feeling s for the chit known.

When Spike finally looked up during his wandering, he realized he was on her street.  Wanker, he called himself, as he continued to her house.  Once there, Spike stood under the tree and looked up at her window.  The light was on and he saw shadows moving about.  He drew in unneeded air as she appeared at the window.  He shrank deeper into the shadows, to make sure that she couldn’t see him, and drank in her sight.

*She’s so bloody beautiful.* Buffy stared out into the night, gently running a finger over the strap of her dress.  Spike wished with all his undead heart that she was going to be HIS bride, and not some poof’s named Kent.

Why did she have to be so stubborn, he snarled to himself.  Why couldn’t she just admit that she was in love with him?

Spike’s eyes caught a glint off something on the strap she had been playing with.  He slipped into his game face to try to make it out.  He hissed through his teeth when he realized what it was.  The pin he’d bought.  She was wearing it.  And on the left strap.  The one over her heart.  Did it mean something?  Spike stood staring at the window, long after she moved away, trying to figure it out.

~ ~ ~

“Deadboy.”  Xander greeted Angel, giving him a good natured clap on the back.

“Xander.”  Angel replied through clenched teeth.

“Hello, Cordelia.”

“Xander.”  Cordelia said, barely sparing him a glance.

“How are thing’s in L. A.” He asked in a conversational tone, showing them to their seats.

“Everything’s good.”  Angel answered.

“And Junior?”

“Fine.”  Cordy snapped.  “Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to make any uninvited visits.”  Xander stated, his voice low.  Angel shot him a dark glare.

“And what if he did?”  He asked dangerously.  Xander took a step away from the vampire.  Reminding himself that Angel wasn’t inhibited by a chip.

“Nothing.  I just want Buffy’s wedding to go off without a hitch.”

“Well, why don’t you go back to whatever you are supposed to be doing before I do something unladylike.” Cordy snapped, staring her ex-boyfriend down.  Xander walked away without another word.  “You know, Dawn told me that none of them like the Kent guy.  So why is he all up in arms?”  Cordy asked, sitting next to Angel.

“Kent’s human.”  Angel stated simply.  From experience, Angel knew that her friends would rather Buffy marry a guy they didn’t like than the vampire that Buffy loved.  And to Angel, that was the worst betrayal of friendship.

~ ~ ~

“Are you ready?” Giles asked, looking down at Buffy.  His heart clenched at how very beautiful she looked.  He was puzzled by the touch of sadness he saw in her eyes.  Then he realized that she was probably missing her mother on this day of all days, especially.  “Your mother would be very proud.”  Giles said, smiling at her.

Would she, Buffy asked herself.  She hoped so, though she wasn’t so sure.  Buffy had realized, with rapidly growing panic, that she was getting ready to pledge her life to a man that she didn’t love.  It was like Riley all over again.  Only this time it wasn’t Angel that she was trying to replace.

Buffy offered her ex-watcher what she hoped was the smile of a bride to be, as the music started to play.

“Thank you.  I’m ready.” she said, taking his arm.

Buffy’s heart started to pound in her chest as they waited to follow Willow, Anya and Dawn down the aisle.

They had decided to get married outside, in the evening, mainly so Angel could attend.  Kent knew nothing of her life as a Slayer, so he thought that Angel was allergic to the sun.  They also decided on a justice of the peace, seeing as how neither had any real religious ties.

Buffy smiled again at Giles when it was time for them to make their entrance.  As they progressed, Buffy’s eyes sought out the gaze of her future husband.  He was watching her come down the aisle, his greenish-blue eyes shining with love.  As Giles placed her hand in Kent’s, her fiancé noticed the pin.

“Where did that come from?” He whispered.

“A friend.” She answered, then they turned to the officiate.

As he began to speak, something odd happened to Buffy’s eyes.  It seemed, that every time she looked at Kent, his eyes got a little bluer, his hair a little blonder.  Little by little, his features changed, until it was Spike staring down at her, love and passion burning in his eyes.  Her heart started to triple time in her chest at the illusion.  So engrossed in it was she, that she missed her cue.

“Buffy.” the now confused image of Spike said.  “What’s wrong.”  Buffy’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and she couldn’t seem to find her voice.

“Buffy.” Willow hissed in her ear, trying to get her attention.  Buffy blinked several times, until Kent’s face appeared once again.

“I. . .I’m sorry.  What?” she asked, looking at the officiate.

“Do you take this man to be your husband.” he repeated, feeling sorry for the girl’s nervousness.

“I. .” Buffy started.  Her throat seemed to close and she couldn’t get the words out.  “I. . .” she started again.

“DO YOU?!” a voice called from the back of the crowd.  A very distinct, British voice.  Buffy’s head whipped around, her eyes seeking him out.

“Who the hell are you?” Kent shouted.  Spike ignored him, taking another step forward.

“Well, Buffy.  Do you?  Will you take this man, who will love you , and cherish you?  Give you heat and desire, and make every day a bloody adventure.”  Giles and Xander charged at the vampire, seizing him by the arms.  Spike started to struggle, his eyes boring into Buffy’s.

“Do you?”  He struggled hard against the two men.  “BABY, PLEASE!!”

“I DO!” Buffy cried, reaching her hand towards Spike.

“Yes!” Dawn yelled.  Buffy turned back to Kent.

“I’m sorry.” she gasped, before turning and running towards Spike.  Spike shoved Xander and Giles away, barely flinching when the chip gave a warning zap.  He caught Buffy as she flung herself at him, kissing her with three years of pent up love and passion.  They were lost in each other, oblivious to the activity around them.  Kent and his family left, as did Willow, Xander and Anya.  The trio cast dark looks at the couple as they passed.

“Wanna get married, Pet?” Spike asked when they broke apart.

“What took you so long to ask?” His chuckle vibrated against her mouth as he kissed her again.

“Come on.” he took her hand and pulled her back up the aisle to the alter.  The justice looked at the odd pair.

“Marry us.”  Spike said, his eyes never leaving Buffy.

“Buffy. . .I” Giles started.

“Not now, Giles.” She interrupted, her hazel gaze locked with Spike’s.  “Marry us.” she repeated.

“Okay.” the confused justice said, “Dearly beloved. . .”

“Skip to where you were, mate.” Spike urged.

“Do you. . What’s your name?”

“William.”

“Do you, William, take. . .”

“I do.”  Spike answered.  The justice arched an eyebrow, but turned to Buffy.

“Do you, Elizabeth. . .”

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife.  You may kiss,” Spike grabbed Buffy, crushing his mouth against hers. “The bride.”

Dawn clapped happily, as Angel and Cordelia shared a kiss of their own.  Giles stood by, looking very confused.

“I love you, Buffy.”  Spike said, breaking the kiss.

“I love you, too.”  Buffy felt free for the first time in what seemed like forever.  She didn’t know what lay ahead for them.  But Spike was right; every day would be a bloody adventure.

~FIN~

Author's Notes: I named this story A Different World because I stole (er, borrowed) the wedding scene from that show.  The one where Whitley is supposed to marry Byron, but Dwayne crashes.  I’ve always loved that episode and I wanted to put Buffy and Spike in that situation.  I hope it worked.   Lisa