Who Am I?

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Summary: Small introspective piece from Buffy's POV

AUTHOR: Hilary
EMAIL: immortalbeloved2000@yahoo.co.uk
RATING: G
PAIRING: Buffy/Spike
SPOILERS: General S6, post Smashed
DISCLAIMER: Everything I have borrowed from Joss.
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As I sit here in front of my mirror I wonder just who it is that's looking back at me. A face that should look young and fresh, but whose eyes betray a lifetime of pain.

I am a sister. I try to be everything that a mother should be to Dawn but I know that it will never be enough. A mother doesn't spend her evenings fighting demons when she should be at home cooking dinner. A mother doesn't not see when her daughter is in pain.

I am a friend. Xander and Willow have been through so much with me, but sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for them if we'd never met. They have a chance to have the normality I never could. Am I holding them back? Pulling them into battles which aren't theirs to fight? Is that what a friend does?

I am a lover. Spike has always tried to make it clear that he has no expectations of me. That may be true. But he has hope. I can see it in his eyes every time I'm near him. Behind all the bravado he's just a man in love who longs for me to take him in my arms and tell him that I'm his.

But who do I see when I look in the mirror? Sister? Friend? Lover? I am all of these things and none. I am Buffy. I am the Slayer.

The End

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Hilary - immortalbeloved2000@yahoo.co.uk