Crisis

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Summary: Little ficlet that centers around a crisis slightly less urgent than the Turok Han.

AUTHOR: Elsa Frohman
EMAIL: elsa@frohman.net
RATING: PG
PAIRING: Buffy/Spike
SPOILERS: Through 'Showtime' Season 7.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: OK, I'll admit it, this is based on a "Guest star" note that is probably not accurate that was on the Comics Continuum site. I don't think it's a spoiler because I'm just playing with what I'd like to see if this character were to show up again (which a spoiler source has already said was unlikely).
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Buffy stood in the dining room with her arms crossed, her face a roiling storm cloud.

"This is bad," she said, letting the simple words carry the load of her anger and distress. "Very bad."

Spike kept his distance. He knew that look. He was seeing the facial expression that preceded a bloody nose -- his nose.

Xander made his decision and went in, banners a flying, ready to accept death before dishonor.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, Buff. We don't know..."

"We don't know?" Buffy spat. "We don't know? The hell we don't know. We know I told her to be back by ten o'clock and it's ten fifteen now!"

"Fifteen minutes," Xander said reasonably. "I'm sure she'll walk through that door any moment now."

"Yes, what Xander said," Spike added.

"You realize who she's out with, don't you?" Buffy said angrily.

"R.J.," Xander replied.

"The same R.J. who..." Buffy let the sentence trail off. She couldn't even bare to think about it.

"He doesn't have the jacket anymore," Xander said calmly. "No enhanced attractiveness. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. They probably just stopped for an ice cream or something on the way home."

Andrew wandered through the door from the hall.

"Hey, Buffy, we're low on soymilk again, I think some of the girls are dipping into..." He let the sentence trail off as Buffy's murderous gaze came to rest on him.

"What did I say? I'm just trying to help keep the supplies in order. You know I'm lactose intolerant. You wouldn't like me when I've been drinking real milk..."

"I don't like you now," Buffy ground out.

"Not now, Andrew," Xander said.

"What did I say? Why's everybody always after me?" Andrew whined.

"Because you're an annoying pillock?" Spike offered.

"Well, there's that," Andrew admitted.

"Dawn's out on a date and has missed her curfew," Xander explained. "We'll worry about restocking the refrigerator later."

"I'm going to sweep the downtown area," Buffy said. "If I find them, I'll kill R.J., and bring Dawn home."

"Now wait a minute, Slayer," Spike said. "You can't actually..."

Buffy sighed. "OK, I can't kill him. But I can bruise him a bit, can't I?"

Spike shook his head.

"We'll see about that. If he's laid a hand on her, I'm seriously going to ..."

"Where did they go?" Andrew asked.

"A movie," Xander replied.

"Which movie?" Andrew asked, risking death at the hands of the Slayer who was glaring at him.

"What does it matter?" Buffy replied, barely suppressing the urge to fling Andrew against a wall.

"What does it matter? It matters! It's important!" Andrew said, backing away from Buffy, one tentative step at a time.

"He's got a point," Xander said thoughtfully. "Which movie you take a girl to on the first date means a lot. Let's see... If he took her to 'Gangs of New York,' that means 'I'm very serious and arty, and we'll go and make out somewhere afterward.' If he took her to 'Analyze That,' it means 'I'm just out for a good time and we'll have ice cream after the movie.' If he took her to 'Die Another Day,' it means 'I'm a super-cool secret agent guy and we'll get a room afterward.' And if he took her to 'Star Trek: Nemesis,' it means 'I'm a pathetic geek who doesn't understand women and I'll show you my Lego sculptures afterward.'"

"They went to 'The Two Towers,'" Buffy said.

"Oh, then you have nothing to worry about," Andrew said confidently.

"No?" Buffy said suspiciously.

"Look, you can diss me all you want. But there's one thing I really know about, and it's geeks."

"You think taking Dawn to 'The Two Towers' makes R.J. a geek?" Xander asked.

"Oh, totally... I mean, a cool guy might take a girl to 'The Two Towers' if he knows her real well and knows she likes Tolkien. But not for a first date. I mean, if *I* was taking a girl out on a first date, it's what I'd do. But I'm a geek."

"A startling moment of self-awareness... but not really helpful here. They're late getting back," Xander said.

"Well, duh..." Andrew said, rolling his eyes. "Of course they are. They went to see 'The Two Towers.'"

"I know it's a long movie, but it let out at nine-thirty," Buffy said with a frown.

"I know. But they'll be walking along, and Dawn will say how much she enjoyed the movie. And then R.J. will say that he liked the CGI on Gollum, but he thinks they completely messed up by changing Faramir's character from the way it was in the book. And she'll say that David Wenham was totally hot as Faramir. And he'll start in on how they completely missed the point of the character by giving him ambitions. And by the time they get halfway back here, they'll be yelling at each other.

"And if you're worried about R.J. getting lucky, there's not a chance," Andrew said with certainty.

Buffy, Spike and Xander stared at Andrew, mouths agape.

"I'm just saying..."

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The moonlight sifted through the leaves of the oak trees on Revello Drive. R.J. and Dawn walked slowly through the dappled shadows, both looking at the ground. R.J.'s hands where in his pockets.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"It's OK," Dawn said, avoiding looking at him. "It was still a good movie. And Treebeard was pretty cool, we agreed on that."

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry too," Dawn said. "I shouldn't have got mad when you said they ruined Faramir's character."

R.J. hung his head. "I guess it's OK."

"Thanks for taking me," Dawn said. They'd reached the front porch and it was time to say goodnight. "I had a good time."

The young man smiled shyly. "I'm glad you were still willing to go out with me... I mean... after what happened -- with your sister..."

"Oh, please," Dawn said with an embarrassed laugh. "Let's not talk about that. Believe me, I know it wasn't your fault."

"I mean, nothing really happened -- really!"

"It's OK," Dawn said.

"So, I guess this is goodnight..."

"Yeah..."

Dawn waited expectantly. R.J. hesitated. He leaned toward her. She closed her eyes.

The front door opened, and they both jumped back a step.

"You are twenty minutes late!" Buffy said sternly. "Another five minutes and I'd have had Willow doing a locator spell!"

"Um... I'm sorry, Miss Summers," R.J. stuttered. He looked at Buffy with the eyes of a deer in headlights. "It was my fault. We got to talking..."

Buffy stepped out onto the porch, her eyes blazing. R.J. retreated down the steps onto the walk.

"Nothing happened!" Dawn said, suddenly afraid her date was going to end up in pieces. "We were just talking about the movie!"

Buffy relaxed. "Well, see that it doesn't!" She turned on her heel, and went back into the house, slamming the door behind her.

"Um... good night," R.J. said, backing down the walk.

"R.J.," Dawn said.

He stopped.

"I had a good time... really," Dawn said.

R.J. hesitated another moment then bounded back up the steps to grab Dawn by the shoulders and kiss her. It was over before Dawn knew what was happening.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said as he retreated again.

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Spike peered out through the window in the new front door Xander had only installed the day before.

Buffy was behind him.

"So? What are they doing?" she whispered.

"He's backing away... backing... and... he's back for a kiss."

"He dies," Buffy said darkly.

"No, it's over... he's going now."

"What? Less than 10 seconds?"

"More like two."

"OK, I guess he lives... for this week," Buffy said.

The End

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Elsa Frohman - elsa@frohman.net