The Video

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Summary: Buffy and Xander see something on video that changes their lives.

AUTHOR: Christy
EMAIL: moneal@poboxes.com
WEBSITE: www.members.tripod.com/allaboutspike
RATING: R
PAIRING: Buffy/Spike
SPOILERS: Some rumors I've heard.
DISCLAIMER: They're not mine.
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask first.
DEDICATION: For Chen, because she understands.
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Part 1

"Spike?" A voice said softly, while gently nudging the door to the crypt open. "Is anyone home?"

She was surprised at how undamaged the upstairs of the crypt looked. It was obvious that Spike was now sleeping up here, but everything else looked the same.

"Spike" she called a little louder, hoping he was there. She heard noises coming from the downstairs and called down the ladder. A head appeared.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come in. What are you doing here, pet? I thought you'd skipped town after the whelp left you at the altar."

"I did for awhile, but I came back. I had to get answers from Xander. I loved him with everything I had. I thought we were going to be together forever. I just don't understand what happened." Anya’s voice betrayed the tears she was trying so hard to hold back

Spike climbed the ladder and motioned for Anya to sit on the couch. "Did you get your answers?" Spike asked.

Anya sighed, "No, not really. He said some stuff about his dad, about being a bad husband and me regretting marrying him. But I don't know where he is getting this from. He knows we love each other and he isn't his dad. I think he just doesn't really love me and is trying not to hurt me."

Spike nodded his head in understanding. "I don't know what he was thinking. Damn stupid of him to throw a nice bird like you away, but then I never did think much of his intelligence."

Anya leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes, exhaustion evident on her face. "I wanted to become a vengeance demon again. So I could hurt Xander the way he hurt me, but I couldn't go through with it. I don't want to be a demon again, I want to be human. Even if it means living with this pain."

Spike went to the refrigerator to get a couple of beers. He'd already had a lot to drink that night, but it looked like Anya could use a drink. And he was never one to let a lady drink alone.

Anya continued speaking as Spike was getting the beers. "So, I decided not to become a demon again, but I still want to hurt Xander the way he hurt me. And I've come up with a perfect way to do it."

"Yeah? What's that, luv?" Spike asked as he turned around to bring her the beer.

"This." Anya replied, dropping her coat to the ground. She was wearing nothing under it. "I thought to myself: who does Xander hate more than anyone? You, obviously. So what better revenge than to sleep with the person he hates the most." As she was speaking Anya approached a stunned Spike. For once in his life, he was speechless. She removed the beer bottles from his hands and led him to the couch. The ex-demon pushed him back onto the couch and straddled him. She started kissing him, her tongue expertly exploring his mouth. Spike felt his body respond, the girl really was beautiful and seemed so willing. Something he hadn't had in quite awhile. Anya kissed her way down his throat, leaving a wet trail, while moving in slow circles on his lap. She felt his arousal and heard him moan

This was going to be easy, she thought.

Grabbing Spike’s hand she placed it on her breast. The vampire started fondling her nipples making Anya throw her head back as she felt her own arousal building. Spike took the cue and kissed her neck.

“Spike”, Anya moaned.

Anya stood up and pulled Spike over to the sarcophagus. It was made up nicely, with pillows and a comforter. She leaned him back so he was lying down and climbed on top of him. Unbuttoning his shirt, she let her mouth follow her hands as she worked her way down his chest. Upon reaching his jeans she started undoing the fly. She palmed him through the material and he bucked. The combination of too much alcohol and what Anya’s hands and mouth were doing to his body made him feel incredibly good.

Why not? he thought. I'm free, she's free, who are we hurting? She slid his jeans down his legs and climbed back on top of him. Here goes nothing, he thought.

Spike was ready to enter her, but found himself unable to. Buffy. Even if she didn't love him, he loved her. He couldn't be unfaithful to that love, not yet. Maybe some day he would be ready, but today was not that day. He gently grabbed Anya by the arms and pushed her away. "Anya, we can't do this. We are both hurting, but we are both in love with other people. This isn't us, pet. You are a very beautiful woman and I am very honored you would even think of giving yourself to me. But I respect you and we both know we would regret this as soon as it’s over. I'm sorry, but you need to get dressed and leave."

Anya was temporarily stunned, but the truth of his words soon sunk in. She broke down crying. "I just want to feel loved, to feel desirable. I feel like I'm nothing, like my whole world has ended."

"You’re desirable. Look at me, I can't hide the fact that I'm turned on by you. And you’ll be loved again. If my heart wasn't already spoken for...."

Anya nodded her head sadly, picked up her coat and left.

Xander and Buffy were in shock. They couldn't believe what they had just seen on the screen in the nerd's lair. They had finally found the hideout and expected to find information about their next plan, they had never expected this.

Anya and Spike, their former lovers, naked, in each other arms. It was too much to comprehend. Buffy felt as though the world was spinning. She couldn't seem to catch her breath. She seriously feared she might pass out. Xander didn't seem to be taking it any better. The screen went blank just as Anya was climbing up a naked Spike. They didn't need to see anymore, it was obvious where this was heading.

Buffy knew she had set Spike free, she knew he had every right to be with someone else, but the betrayal s he felt was intense. "He said he loved me, said I was the best he'd ever been with. How can he do this to me?”, she mumbled.

"I thought she loved me. I know I screwed up, but I thought we could work it out", Xander sobbed.

"Oh God! Why does this hurt so much? I broke it off with him. I ended it. I should be happy he's moved on, happy he'll finally leave me alone. Instead it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Why do I feel this way? I don't understand."

"I love her, I love her so much. This can't be happening. I want to die."

Buffy heard Xander's words in the distance. That's how I feel, she thought. I feel just like Xander. But Xander loves Anya, how I can feel what he is feeling? Over Spike. Oh no. "NO!!" She yelled. "No, I don't love him. I don't! This isn't happening, none of this is happening." It was too late she realized, too late to deny her feelings. She loved him, there it was. No more hiding.

"I have to see Spike. I have to tell him, I've finally figured it out." She ran out of the basement, leaving Xander still standing there in shock.

Part 2

Spike stared at the crypt door long after Anya left. What the hell is wrong with me? She doesn’t love me, she’s never going to love me. So why am I being faithful to her? I had a beautiful, willing woman here and I kicked her out. I’m as bad as the whelp. Drink, I need more to drink. He opened a fresh bottle of bourbon, tilted it back and drank deeply. He stumbled over to the couch, turned on the telly and preceded to drown his sorrows.

Buffy threw open the crypt door, exhausted from her run from the nerd’s lair. “Spike! Spike! I need to talk to you.” She ran frantically through the crypt looking for the vampire. She finally spotted him, passed out on the couch, a mostly empty bottle grasped loosely in his hand. “Wake up Spike. Come on, this is important.” She grabbed him by his shirt and shook vigorously. There was no response from the form on the couch. “This just figures, you’ve been bugging me for weeks to talk to you. We need to chat this out, Buffy. Talk to me, Buffy” She mimicked in a really bad English accent. “I finally want to talk to you and you’re unconscious.” Buffy leaned over and put her mouth right up to his ear, “WAKE UP!”

His body jerked, his eyes shot open and he yelled, “Bloody hell Slayer, what are you trying to do...” His brain finally caught up with his mouth and he realized Buffy was here, in his crypt. “Buffy? Luv? What are you doing here?”

Now that Spike was awake, Buffy found that her previous courage had deserted her. She began to pace around the crypt, trying to figure out what to say. “You see...... Well..........It’s like this Spike”, she began many times, the words just wouldn’t come.

“Could you stop that confounded pacing, you’re making me ill. Just tell me why you are here already! I’m not up for more kick the Spike, so if that’s why you are here, just get it over with, so I can pass out again.”

“No, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to talk. I know, Miss Avoidance, here to talk, but it’s true. I saw something tonight that made me think about us and where we are heading.”

“Us? I thought there was no us. Now, suddenly there is, what happened?”

“I found the nerd’s lair and I was looking around for clues as to what they were going to do next. And I saw you. On the TV. With Anya.” She whispered the last part. Buffy was staring at the floor, she couldn’t look at him, the pain was still so great.

“You saw me? What do you mean, you saw me?”

“They must have a camera in here. I saw you drinking, I saw Anya come in. I saw her take off her coat, and I saw you...”, she swallowed hard, “I saw you kissing her, touching her.” Tears were pooling in Buffy’s eyes as she talked, she turned away from Spike and resumed her pacing. “You were both naked. And it hurt. God, it hurt so much.”

“Oh Buffy, I’m so sorry. I’ve never wanted to hurt you.”

“No, that’s not why I’m here...”

“But, if you saw it, then you saw how it ended. You...” Buffy cut him off by putting her hand over his mouth.

“Blessfully, the TV cut off before...but, it was pretty obvious where things were heading.”

“So, you don’t know. Let me tell you what happened.”

“Spike, I don’t want to hear your excuses.” Spike tried to say something, but Buffy held up her hand, stopping him. She sighed in frustration. “That didn’t sound right. What I mean is, you don’t need to make any excuses. I let you go. You had every right to be with whoever you want. That’s what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted you to move on, forget about me. Then I saw you, touching her with such tenderness. And it hit me, that’s what I want. I want you to touch me like that, like I’m precious. And, I don’t want you touching anyone else.”

“I’m sorry Buffy, I seem to be a little slow on the uptake today. What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I want to be with you. I’m saying that seeing you with someone else was devastating. I’m saying there may be, a slight possibility, that I may be in love with you.”

“Slayer,” Spike growled.

Buffy walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him gently on the lips. Spike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him hard. Slipping his tongue inside her mouth, he deepened the kiss. Buffy pulled back a little, “And I’m saying, if you ever touch another woman, I will kill you.” She resumed kissing him.

They soon found themselves divested of their clothes, lying on the sarcophagus. Spike was touching her the way he had always dreamed of touching her, gently, reverently. Buffy was soaking up the love she finally allowed herself to feel in his touch. “For someone who just had sex, you sure seem eager,” she joked.

“Buffy, I didn’t, I mean we didn’t.”

“Spike, shut up and make love to me.”

***

Xander was still staring at the blank screen in shock. His world was spinning, no coherent thoughts could form in his head. Suddenly, the screen came back to life. What he saw this time finally spurred him to action. He started banging his head into the wall, over and over again, until he managed to actually knock himself unconscious.

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Christy - moneal@poboxes.com