I Wish I Were Dead/Something New

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Summary: You're invited to the Wedding of the Millenium when Buffy and Spike tie the knot. The ceremony will be performed on the beach 30 minutes after sundown with music provided by Dingoes Ate My Baby

AUTHOR: A. Lite
EMAIL: a_lite_2000@yahoo.com
PAIRING: Buffy/Spike.
RATING: PG-13 and R for implied situations, a character death and one bad word
SETTING: Season 4 story. Assume the spell in "Something Blue" never ended. Don't question the continuality of some of the characters, like Angel and Cordelia, too hard. Just enjoy the fic
DISCLAIMER: All of the characters appearing in this story belong to the WB.
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"I can't believe we are actually doing this," Giles shoved his darkened glasses higher on his nose as he struggled to fix his tuxedo tie.

"Neither can I," Xander agreed, stepping over the cane on the ground. He idly swung his necklace in a circle. "Buffy and Spike. Still have trouble imagining it. It seems like just yesterday they wanted to kill each other."

"That was yesterday when Buffy saw his list of guests." Giles turned toward Xander, "How is the tie?"

"Pretty good, considering," Xander reached for it and untied it. "I see this is a skill you haven't mastered yet."

"I was hoping I would never have to," Giles shook his head. "I wish we could have done something before it got this far."

"We did everything we could," Xander patted Giles carefully on the shoulder, "Relax. Soon it will be all over, for better or for worse."

"Thank God," Giles sighed. "About the guests, how many have arrived? And who, or in some cases, what?"

"Well, most of the graduating class of 1999 is here, at least those who lived, and basically everyone else Buffy ever met, including her dad Hank who is sitting with Joyce and seems okay with letting you give Buffy away." Xander examined the crowd, "The odd demon and spirit or two showing up, too."

"How long until sunset?"

Xander checked the sky and then his watch, "I'd say we have 15 minutes until the undead start arriving. . . No way!" Xander shouted in amazement.

"What?" Giles spun around awkwardly, nearly hitting Xander.

"Amputa. Who brought her? Oh," Xander relaxed. "The Chaos Demon Dru used to date. I think his name is Boris."

"Nice to see you finally acquired some knowledge of the arcane."

"Hey, I resemble that remark," Xander said good-naturedly. "I need to go and do my ushering duties with Anyanka now."

"I thought you were off the list," Giles wondered.

"I was, but Buffy staked Brian, Spike's first choice, last week so I'm back in the game." Xander faced the beach, "Your ears are better than mine. How's she doing?"

Giles cocked his head toward the rapidly filling beach, "It sounds like, 'Leave your weapons at the front. Evil on the right. Good on the left,'"

"She's not supposed to say it like that," Xander dropped his necklace to his chest. "It should be 'Friend of bride or groom.' I know she loves being the evil vengeance demon for the happy couple . . . speaking of, where is my favoritest Slayer and least favorite undead guy?"

"In the van over there," Giles pointed vaguely in the direction of a white van with the windows blackened out.

"The one that's shaking? I wonder why-" Xander cut himself off. "I had to ask a really dumb question, didn't I?"

"Some things never change," Giles observed dryly.

"Not even after all we've been through these past six months," Xander picked up the cane. "I thought the bride and groom weren't supposed to see each other before the wedding. It's bad luck."

"Precisely."

"I'm sensing the need for my girlfriend's and my services. Here, Ray Charles," He handed Giles the white-tipped cane and held out an elbow.

"Thanks, Gachnar," Giles took the arm and tapped his cane on the sand as they walked to the wedding ceremony forming less than 75 feet away.

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Her white wedding dress hiked up above her thighs, she sat astride her fiancée's hips, stake pointed at his chest. "Take it back."

"What?" He asked unruffled as she held onto his black tuxedo pants.

"I do not look like a five dollar whore in this dress!"

"Fine." His hands slid up her smooth legs to play with the white garters holding her nylons up. She cooed at his touch, and he reconsidered his stand, "You look like a fifty dollar hooker." She glared at him. "Or maybe a sacrificial virgin?" he offered.

"I'm not sure that's a good," She set the stake down on a seat. "In fact, that kinda gives me the wiggins."

He ground his hips up into hers, "But it's the blood of the innocent, muffin." Spike pulled her down for a kiss.

Their tongues tangled, and Buffy smiled into his mouth. No kiss could be sweeter than that of the man she loved truly and completely. Spike had made life stranger, but she didn't want to imagine it without him.

He loved his Slayer. In less than an hour, the world would know that she was all his. They would finally go on that long-awaited honeymoon to San Francisco. (He'd wanted Brazil, she'd wanted Hawaii, so they let the Watcher pick.)

"Honey," she tore her mouth back. "We shouldn't."

"Why?" He licked the tops of her tan breasts revealed by the lacey bodice of her white dress. He lifted his pelvis, and she responded by dropping her hands to his shirt.

"Because," her fingers unbuttoned his white shirt to stroke his hard chest. "It's our wedding day. We said we would hold off for the wedding night, darling."

"Luv, I know we did, but this feels so good," Spike dragged her into another impassioned kiss. She stopped resisting and began to bounce up and down on him, trying to get closer to him and loving the delicious friction. His arms tightened around her, closing all space between them. Molded together, she rode him, not quite close enough to him.

She finally found enough willpower to pull back. "We can't," she panted. "Our wedding night. We're waiting."

"I think we've waited long enough," he hissed at her. "It's been almost 18 hours since we made love last."

"I know," Buffy sighed. "Sweetie, you're not alone in this. It's hard for me, too."

"Not as hard as it is for me," he guided her hand to his cloth-covered bulge. His fingers playfully traced the silken inside of her thigh.

For a second, she almost gave in, but she rolled off to sit on the seat with the stake. "We have to wait."

He groaned from the van floor in frustration, "Can we do something?"

"As long as you can keep you undead parts to yourself."

"Baby, way too late for that," Spike's grin was positively lecherous.

"Stop it," she slapped him playfully.

He caught her wrist and gave her another long kiss. "You sure?"

Gasping from lack of oxygen and want, Buffy managed, "I guess we can cuddle."

Rolling his eyes, Spike decided that it was better than nothing. He sat her down on his lap so her back was spooned up against his chest. Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder, and he held her gently around the waist with a hand lightly caressing her abdomen.

She lay against him, practically glowing in complete contentment.

Loving the feel of his Slayer, Spike asked out loud, "What's going on in that head of yours."

"I was thinking," She tightened up a little, and he rubbed her belly to calm her.

"About what?"

"Willow," Buffy tried not to sound too sad. "She, being a witch and all, would be asking me right now if I had everything I needed for the wedding.

"We have guests, music, a license, and someone to marry us."

"Not that stuff. The important stuff. Old, new, borrowed, and blue."

"Oh," He idly stroked her collarbone with his forefinger. "Do you have it all, sweetums?"

"Well, my underwear that Cordy gave me is blue, which you already saw."

"And which is still on, unfortunately," He said ruefully.

Ignoring him, Buffy went on, "I'm borrowing these shoes from Amy."

"I didn't think the rat would try to stop you."

"And for old-" She paused, "Well, I have you."

"Hey, I'm not a day over 127!" he protested.

"Which is only a century more than me." Her face broke into a huge smile, "And you know what's new."

"Course, I do," He held her tighter. "Love you, pet."

"Love you too." They kissed again, and Spike's hand started to rub her waist through the dress.

He stopped them this time. "I thought we were waiting," He accused.

"We are. We'll just kiss." Her eyes danced. "And neck."

"I like necking," He answered, turning her to face him.

"Who'd have thought?" she said a little too sweetly. He growled, and the kissing started again.

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"Everyone, the wedding will start in 15 minutes," Giles announced, standing in front of an ever-growing pile of weapons. "The bride and the groom ask you to please remain seated."

Behind him Anyanka and Xander removed a sword from a fungus demon who was escorting a dark-haired vampiress.

"Hi, Drusilla," Xander greeted her calmly.

"My Spike is marrying that nasty Slayer today," she snarled.

Before she could cause a scene of any type, a figure tapped on her shoulder. "I believe this fine young man is yours now," Angel politely indicated the fungus demon and asked in a long suffering tone, "Friend of bride or groom?"

"Groom," the demon said hastily taking her arm. He knew an unhappy vampire when he saw one and didn't want to stay too close. "Come on."

"We'll see you all later," Dru called as she left, "Even your insides."

"Anyanka, check the list. How many guests are we missing?" Angel watched the couple seat themselves with a frown.

She flipped through some pages, "Five. No, four. No, I mean three." She turned some more pages, "Wait a second."

Angel's frown grew, "Why are the numbers changing?"

"Buffy staked a few of Spike's guests," she replied simply.

He smiled at that for the first time all day.

"Hello," a clipped voice said, causing the entire group to look.

"Well, what do you know," Cordelia's voice was more than slightly annoyed, "Looks like the ambulance chasers invited themselves."

Lawyer Lindsey McDonald of Wolfram and Hart raised his eyebrows, "We're friends of the groom since we run in the same business circles. Isn't that right, Lilah?"

His female companion nodded, "Our employers thought things might get pretty interesting here."

"First of all," Cordelia straightened her red maid of honor dress, "The groom retired from his work since he's getting up in the years. Second, Xander and Anya here are going to let you sit-"

Anyanka's and Xander's faces contorted terribly into twisted masks. Through his demonic vestige, Xander hissed, "But Anyanka and I will be the only ones giving out the vengeances today."

The lawyers made a retreat to the right side of the aisle to sit among the various demons, handing out business cards.

When Giles heard them sit, he returned to addressing the crowd, "As I was saying, welcome to today's happy event. Please refrain from murdering, ascending, killing, cursing (and that means you Rayne), scratching, slaughtering, maiming or otherwise disturbing this occasion. Buffy wanted this to be her happy day."

The sides eyed each other warily from their folding chairs on the beach.

"I would also like to take this time before begin to acknowledge the absence of someone who should be here but is not. Without her, we would not be celebrating this event today. Let us take a moment of silence in memory of Willow Rosenburg."

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Willow stomped her way down the hall to her room. She was mad. She was so mad she could spit. Or swear.

Probably not the spitting part.

She swung the door open.

Everyone thought it was okay when Buffy had pain over Angel! Why didn't they feel the same way for Willow? She was suffering from genuine real, painful pain, and no one seemed to care. They wanted her to stop mopping. Not even Xander understood.

Couldn't they see how lost she was without Oz?

Willow stepped through the door, and a pair of blue hands reached for her-

*I wish I were dead.*

As per her wish, Willow Rosenburg's heart stopped.

Her body fell to the floor, and D'Hoffryn stood unsure of what to do.

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"Besides, it's kind of my job," Buffy said by her door.

"For now," her new leather-clad boyfriend commented.

"What, you want me to stop working?" she started to open the door.

"Well, let's see - do I want you to give up killing my friends?" he answered sarcastically. "Yeah, I've given it some thought."

"Oh my God!" Buffy shouted, falling to her knees by the still warm body. "WILLOW!" her voice whimpered in desperate fear.

Recognizing a corpse when he saw one, Spike pulled her back from it, saying, "Slayer." Already in tears, Buffy buried her face in his shoulder.

"What?" Xander rushed in followed by Anya. "Willow!" He felt for a pulse. There wasn't one. "No." He shook her once; nothing happened. "No! NO!!" He bowed his head and whispered in a controlled tone, "Who did this to you? I swear that I'll-"

"D'Hoffryn," Anya's words were to the blue figure standing in one of the room's corners.

Xander's face shot up, murder in his eyes. "You!"

"I didn't do it," D'Hoffryn stated calmly. "I came here for a different reason. I was going to make her a vengeance demon, but she wished herself dead before I could ask her." He sighed, "She had such pure anger . . ." His gaze focused on Xander, "But you, on the other hand-"

"Who is he?" Xander asked Anya, feeling betrayed by her for knowing D'Hoffryn.

"D'Hoffryn, he made me a demon a thousand years ago because I was mad."

"Those waves of pure murderous wrath." D'Hoffryn's eyes lit up, "Now you, Xander Harris, would make a fine vengeance demon."

"I don't want it," the reply was flat.

"Are you sure?" D'Hoffryn laughed. "There are demons coming for you. Not even I can stop that, and neither can anyone else. The witch is dead and with her died the counterspells to breaking her curse on you."

Xander glanced at Buffy weeping in Spike's arms. In opposition to everything he had ever seen the vampire do, Spike was patting her gently on the head. There was such an expression of tender concern on Spike's face, a face Xander had personally seen murder in cold blood, that it made his head spin. "There is no way to break the spell?"

"Only the caster of the spell can break it, or it must run its course."

"So Giles will be blind forever, and they," he jerked a thumb at the couple, "will really get married?"

"And you will get killed by the demons which are closing in on your 'magnetic' presence as we speak."

Anya caught his hand, "We don't need this. We can go. We can run."

Xander pulled away, "How would letting you make me a demon help?"

"The demons want the human Xander Harris. The demon Xander Harris holds no interest to them," D'Hoffryn explained.

"What about my friends? Will I have to leave them? I know Buffy is not in her right mind, so I can't just leave her."

"She's in good hands now," Spike said quietly, never relinquishing his grip on her.

"You can continue to live among them as before, except you will occasionally be called away to perform vengeances."

For a long time Xander stared at Willow's body.

Buffy faced him and choked out, "Xander." She took a deep breath and a tear fell down her cheek. "Do what you need to do." She let Spike go and hugged Xander, "I don't want to lose you too."

Xander disentangled himself from her, pushing her back into Spike's waiting arms. "D'Hoffryn. I accept." He grabbed Anya's hand, "Only if you restore her too."

Hope filled her eyes, and D'Hoffryn was silent.

Finally he spoke, "Done."

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Two weeks later, Xander and Anyanka sat with Giles alone in his living room. "Where is she?" He asked the blind Watcher.

"With Spike, upstairs. And I don't want to think about what I know they're doing."

"I guess they didn't wait for the wedding night to have sex," Anyanka stated, blunt even as a demon.

"I'm surprised they waited until the day after the funeral," Giles clutched his head in his hands. "I take it I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life."

"Maybe not," Xander pointed out. "I've been talking to some ex-witch demons."

"There's lots of them," Anya put in.

"And there may be a way out of this," Xander went on.

"What?" Giles grabbed onto the words like a lifeline.

"Your vision is gone permanently, but there is a chance for Buffy and Spike to revert back to normal."

"How?" Giles didn't care what it would take or how much it would cost him.

"Let them get married."

"What?" Giles was almost speechless.

"The spell will have a chance to run its course then. She said, 'Why doesn't she just marry him?'" Xander couldn't bring himself to say her name.

"So if they get, they'll go back to hating each other like usual."

"That is the crux of the argument. Have they set a date?" Anya asked.

"June," Giles rubbed his eyes. "That's six months away."

"Be glad they didn't go for a three year engagement," Xander mentioned.

"And I sit back and help them plan this. I let them go through with it on the chance that the spell will end when they achieve matrimony." Giles sounded somewhat subdued.

"In case it gets ugly, make sure you bring stakes to the ceremony."

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The groom and his best man were assembled in a line on the right side of the altar. (Maybe it wasn't exactly in altar since there weren't any crosses on it.) Spike's best man, Angel, forgoing his place in the audience as father of the groom, carefully felt for the stake in his inner pocket.

Dingoes Ate My Baby began to play a rocked up version of "Here Comes the Bride" from behind the altar.

Friend and foe, both sides of the guests rose to their feet as maid of honor Cordelia Chase started to make her way up the aisle.

Buffy stood on Giles's left, her arm holding his tense one. "Relax, Giles. I'm supposed to be nervous, not you."

"Do you have a stake?"

She rolled her eyes, "You're supposed to ask if I have my old, new, borrowed, and blue."

"And the stake?" Giles wanted her to be safe.

"Yes, I have a stake."

He decided to humor her, "Then do you have the other stuff?"

"Yes, my shoes are borrowed, Spike's old, and my underwear is blue."

"What about something new?"

Cordelia was almost to the altar when Buffy whispered into Giles's ear, "New? That's the baby."

Giles shot her one horrified look and fainted.

Buffy stared at him for a second as Cordelia took her place at the front, and the audience turned to face Buffy. She looked around wildly and grabbed Xander who was 'ushering' nearby. "You're walking me up there. Anya, help Giles." Anyanka set to work on waking Giles.

Arm in arm, the Slayer and her Vengeance Demon best friend walked down the aisle to the swelling strains of the wedding march.

Xander could see the faces of the crowd. On one side he could make out Joyce, Hank, Jonathan, Tara, and a few gypsies. The other side he glimpsed the lawyers, Harmony, the remaining Gorch brother, and some other familiar faces. Human, demon, monster, saint, everything the world had to offer had gathered together to see an event never performed in all of human and demon history. The marriage of a slayer to a vampire.

The bride and the groom didn't see any of that. They could only see each other. Spike filled Buffy's vision, the man she loved truly and completely with every iota of her being. Buffy was all Spike could see, a perfect glorious figure resplendent in white, holding a bouquet of red rose, coming to him. The love between them shone so brightly it was practically palpable. It had bee a long rocky road to get here, but they'd made it.

Arriving at the altar, Buffy stared deeply into Spike's eyes as he stepped forward. Neither twitched; neither seemed to breathe so wrapped up in each other.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce cleared his throat loudly, fingering the stake he had hidden in his sleeve. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of William the Bloody with Buffy Anne Summers in the bonds of holy matrimony."

He looked around anxiously, "If there is anyone who feels that there is any reason these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

The two sides purposely avoided looking at each other. Anyanka tried frantically to revive Giles.

The ceremony continued.

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Giles moaned and sat up. His ears heard, "-I now pronounce you husband and -"

"NO!" Giles shouted. All eyes fell on him.

Using his cane clumsily, he stumbled up the aisle. "Buffy, you and Spike cannot get married."

Buffy tore herself away from looking into Spike's eyes. "Why not? He loves me; I love him. Marriage is a good thing."

"You are not here because you are in love. You are here because Willow cast a spell on you so you would get married. As soon as you are married, the spell will break, and you will hate each other again."

"Sounds good to me," Xander commented.

"Fine time to tell us this, right before we get married. Why not let us go through with it? If the spell breaks you'll get what you wanted. Why tell us now?" Spike asked, annoyed that his wedding had been so rudely interrupted.

"You two cannot break up because Buffy is pregnant."

A collective gasp rose from the crowd, and they were on their feet in surprise.

Joyce stepped forward, "If my daughter is pregnant, then they need to get married."

Though it pained him to say it, Giles disagreed, "No, a child needs two parents. Two parents that love each other. Even if they never get married."

The crowd turned to look at Buffy and Spike, who were staring almost uncertainly at each other. The entire assembly concentrated solely on the bride and groom.

Spike took her hand in his, "I love you Buffy Summers, slayer and mother of my child."

Buffy held his other one in hers, "And I love you Spike, vampire and father of my baby."

He dropped to one knee, "Will you pledge to live in sin with me as long as you live, having as many little buggers as we can make?"

Her smile was positively blinding, "I do."

The couple sealed their bargain with a kiss, and pandemonium broke loose.

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Much later that night, a black De Soto parked at one of the many rest stops between Sunnydale and San Francisco.

"I guess this is just a trip, not a honeymoon," Buffy sighed, fiddling with her wedding dress. "Or at least not in the way we planned."

"Nothing ever happens the way I plan, Slayer. It's always your fault," Spike placed a hand on her stomach, feeling his child move.

"Hey, I didn't know Giles was going to flip out when I told him."

"Did you see how many stakes they had on them? One wrong move, and I would have been clogging someone's Shop-Vac."

"Yeah, I saw," She giggled, "And then Giles had to stop everything." Buffy lay her head on his shoulder, "Like we didn't know how the spell worked."

"They must have a prejudice against blondes," Spike flashed his game face at her for a second. "Think they'll ever figure it out?"

"Not if we don't tell them."

Spike unrolled a piece of paper from his inner tuxedo pocket. It was a marriage certificate for a Buffy and William Summers, dated the day after Willow's funeral. "I'm not telling anyone that I took your name."

"That's because Buffy the Bloody sounded like a B horror flick."

"Hear that," Spike addressed her stomach. "Little Willow, your mommy is in the cheap horror business."

She was surprised and saddened, "You want to name her Willow?"

*Thank you Willow,* she thought silently to the stars. *I miss you, and without you, I would have never found him. Wherever you are, thank you for everything.*

"I'd like that," she said out loud.

He shrugged, "If it's a girl. Close to William and a hell of a lot better than Wilma."

Shaking herself from the blue mood, Buffy teased, "In that case, if it's a boy, we could name him Fred."

"Slayer . . ." he growled warningly, and she shut him up with a kiss.

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A. Lite - a_lite_2000@yahoo.com